So you can't just humble yourself and get busy resculpting the dismal first impression? I mean, this fuck it! It is what it is attitude you're tossing at us makes me think I would rather shoot myself in the cock with a nailgun than ever order anything from you!
So when it comes to wiping...
I moved furniture for many years, just eat like a horse. You'll have to, if you're trying to maintain a competitive fisique you may be SOL, hard to maintain substantial mass, but while your doing this job focus on cutting. Train 2-3x week and just get chiseled! Imo
It's us old timers way of thinking, but standard I used was never run a cycle until you have 100% peaked naturally as in you can get no bigger, stronger or faster without exogenous hormones. This ensures you are utalizing your gear to its maximum. Juice is a precious commodity!