Meso brothers... Engagement rings, advice on affording it?

Discussion in 'Men's Economics' started by Evom1, Dec 12, 2018.

  1. Evom1

    Evom1 Member

    So thinking ahead, as I obviously need to say but Holy shit, I didn't realize rings were as expensive as they are. Looks like the general price point for a 1 carat, near colorless, ideal cut, nearly flawless is like $6k. I guess I had it in my head that 1 carats started around 3500 and 2 carats were more like $6,000. Damn!

    I've been doing quite a bit of research and looking on JamesAllen which is cool because they photographed thousands of diamonds they have for sale and you can actually see them side by side.

    How did you guys manage to budget for your fiance/wife's ring? How big did you go with? I know there's a few guys on here who are in great careers making far more than the rest of us though. So for those of you under $60k per year, what did you do?

    Realistically it's looking like something that would take me a long time to save for. No wonder why we have so many members turned sources lol.
    CompoundLifts31 likes this.
  2. Rockclimber

    Rockclimber Member

    Let's be honest brother there's a 50% chance that you will get divorced and she will keep the ring. What are you willing to pay for it now? Seriously though don't go blowing too much money on an engagement ring. If she wants or Demands a large ring your with the wrong girl anyway.

    I'll give you my experience this was around thirteen years ago though. At the time I was making $400,000 a year before taxes and I spent only $7,500 on her ring. It's around two ct, back then money went further.

    After we'de been together 10 years I turned around and bought her a ladies Presidential Rolex with over 400 diamonds on it. Cost was around $45,000. So my thinking is the longer we Stay Together the more expensive things I buy for her. At the beginning it's a crapshoot divorce could come from anywhere and my lady and I have had our share of problems. We could have been divorced by now as well but we've made things work just like any couple has to. You guys are going to grow apart and put back together if it's just the nature of the Beast.

    My advice for what it's worth is at $60,000 a year go with the $3,000 ring, spend the rest of the money on your house if you both live together. You can always upgrade later as you live together longer. If you really want to stretch it take 10% of your income and buy a ring that's going to be $6,000 and way out of your budget in my humble opinion. Again like I said if this girl is really wanting a large ring and pushing for it you're with the wrong girl.
  3. Evom1

    Evom1 Member

    @Rockclimber yeah, you make a little less than about 10x what I do so that puts it in perspective.

    She definitely isn't the kind to demand a large ring. Nothing she's shown me she likes is anything crazy. It's more just how I am and even tho I always make sure to treat her extremely well, the ring is supposed to be you know, symbolic and so I want her to have a tangible reminder of what she means to me. So no, I don't need to go with anything crazy, but I'd like to do something significant for her. This is a girl who never asks for anything and has always done all she can for me.

    I totally get where you're coming from on the divorce aspect and you're right, there's far from any guarantee.

    And man, if only they were priced like they used to be
  4. fodsod

    fodsod Member

    I divorced at 20 years so she made it through the 10th year upgrade but I was saved the 20 year upgrade by her cheating ass.

    The new wife got a 6% of yearly income ring and she was thrilled. Much better woman all the way around.

    OP, just buy what you can really afford. A lot of places have interest free pay it off in 6-12 month programs for engagement rings. Good option if you've got some time before you're ready to ask her.
    Artifex, Toadzyyy, Brandaddy and 2 others like this.
  5. Logan44551

    Logan44551 Member

    I bought the diamond loose from a reputable jeweler that was going out of business. I think the diamond was like 5400. It took awhile to save for it, I bought her a 150 dollar diamond engagement ring first off Amazon. She said yes, then I saved for the bigger one. It is definitely a serious investment.
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  6. Mac11wildcat

    Mac11wildcat Member Supporter

    Ring help:
    1. Keep her out of the ring process. Get feedback from friends on design, but nothing more. Favor traditional stuff over whatever’s currently “in.”

    2. Ignore size until you see stones next to each other. GO TO A PRIVATE, SMALL JEWELER WITH LOOSE STONES. I would never buy or trust a stone i couldn’t see in person compared to others in real daylight that isn’t already set.

    3. Favor cut, color, and clarity over size. My wife’s ring is not especially large but you see it from across the room and it sits right and looks bigger because it’s cut right. She won’t like the “compliments” she gets for very long when the rings only big. She’ll love the compliments she gets when people see it scatter light from 50ft.

    4. Buy the stone and setting separate (this should go without saying since I’ve said to look at stones, not rings) and work with the jeweler on pricing for the stone, setting, and the wedding band in a package. This could save you $500-$1000 or more.

    If you do this right I bet the ring appraises for 2x what you pay.

    As far as what you spend; that’s on you. I’m practical and place things like a house over the ring and wedding. I was lucky enough to have a wife that didn’t need the giant wedding (we did it in a backyard with 120ppl and no one can stop talking about it, highly recommend if you’ve got the venue and family personality to pull it off), the ring wasn’t cheap but it didn’t bankrupt me or put me in a payment plan, and we were able to buy a house fairly quickly. Weigh your priorities and your plan for the future and start saving.
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2018
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  7. T-Bagger

    T-Bagger Member

    Diamonds are all a racket anyway. Get her a cubic zirconia because that all a “real” diamond is worth anyway.
  8. Mac11wildcat

    Mac11wildcat Member Supporter

    Man, you guys are fucking brutal. Kids in love and you’re hitting him with divorce and the truth about diamonds.
  9. Evom1

    Evom1 Member

    THIS from what I've been reading is exactly right. When those 3 Cs are in order it looks bigger and much more impressive. It's also crazy to see even just pictures on that website I looked at how two diamonds can have nearly the same specs and one look much better.

    My thought was to be around the $3500-$4000 price range until I saw just how expensive they really can be. Although i would much rather pay $4k for a ring and put $10k towards a house than buy a $14k ring. Not that I could, but just my way of thinking.
  10. Mac11wildcat

    Mac11wildcat Member Supporter

    You’re on the right path man. The ring doesn’t really mean shit if you’re living in moms basement. Won’t feel cool wearing a downpayment on her finger.
    JimLahey and master.on like this.
  11. T-Bagger

    T-Bagger Member

    Life is a bitch and then you marry one. There are very few good women out there who aren’t cheating whores or gold diggers. If she’s a good woman, she’ll be happy with whatever he gives her. It’s just a sad truth.
    iamnightowl, bambam333 and master.on like this.
  12. Mac11wildcat

    Mac11wildcat Member Supporter

    We men are just as much to blame. The culture has changed both sexes.

    Women instinctively want a provider and protector. That used to mean a hunter/warrior. Don’t blame just women; society changed the currency.
    Anabolixrip84 and TideGear like this.
  13. T-Bagger

    T-Bagger Member

    I’ll give you that, but it’s not always the case.
  14. Mac11wildcat

    Mac11wildcat Member Supporter

    No not at all. You kidding? Always bad people out there. Imagine being a female trying to date with some of the fucksticks on this forum in the gene pool.
    bambam333, T-Bagger and TideGear like this.
  15. Evom1

    Evom1 Member

    Yeah I've definitely had my share of shitty girls. So now that I actually have a good woman I'm all about trying to make sure I do things the best I can with the relationship

    Of course there's no guarantee how she'll be long term. But if I can risk injecting pretty oils that the nice man on the internet sent me from China, I can risk putting effort into a relationship lol
  16. TideGear

    TideGear Member

    In 2013 I bought one for $4400. We broke up 6 months later. A few years after that I sold the ring to a buddy of mine for $1500. Him and his wife just cancelled their annual Christmas party because they are splitting up. So I lost $2900 and he's about to lose $1500. I really wouldn't go spend more than about $3k and if I had it to do over I wouldn't buy a ring at all. Definitely look for a financing option though if you insist on putting all your eggs into this one basket
    T-Bagger and Rockclimber like this.
  17. Logan44551

    Logan44551 Member

    Sidebar what fuck you do for work? 400k is a lot of cash a year, fuck.
  18. Mac11wildcat

    Mac11wildcat Member Supporter

    And that was 13yrs ago
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  19. Rockclimber

    Rockclimber Member

    I had a 20,000 watt cannabis grow op before it was legal. $4,000 a pound wholesale back then. Also had a full time job for cover. Was bringing in closer to $480,000 a year. Got in and got out as fast as I could... around 5 years at that size. Started out at 8,000 watts and grew into the 20,000. Used that money to build legitimate businesses later and went legit around 6 years ago. Very stressful time of my life, close calls with the FBI and IRS CID but worth it in the end. Used a top load washing machine with 220u bags to make hash with the trimmings. Ended up with like 2oz bubble hash per harvest. 73u and 25u... Craziness.
  20. T-Bagger

    T-Bagger Member

    Serious man! I was thinking the same thing!