The Reintroduction Of A Total Fucktard

Discussion in 'New Member Introduction' started by Dregib, Sep 8, 2018.

  1. Dregib

    Dregib Member

    What up meso

    Last time I was on here was late April or early may, I was running a 600 test e cycle. midway me and my old lady broke up, my name wasn’t on the lease, ended up living in my car and once that happened and I got depressed and relapsed on meth and everything else, went on a long hard run all summer and lost about 75 pounds. I just stopped pinning mid cycle and sold the vials and winstrol I had, then I took clomid haphazardly while using for about a month. I bounced back to where I was pre cycle I feel like levels wise though I haven’t had bloods. I’m 2 weeks clean now. My relapse took me all across the south and down to Tampa finally, with this divorcee who got a big payout. When I use I use hard and I just kinda let the dope do the thinking. It’s bad. Now I’m with my family up in hot springs trying to get back on track with health, and life in general.Been eating anything and everything and I’ve probably put on 15 pounds of fat. I got a cheap lil planet fitness membership and I’m gonna try to get back into the routine and just build up some basic strength again with baby steps bc I basically withered away to nothing. It’s weird though man being on that cycle had me so stoked to be sober and active. Idk I just have a bad thing about when shit hits the fan in my life, I let myself feel hopeless, I say fuck it and I reach for the needle. Gonna do the natty training for at least 6 months hard minimum before I think about running a cycle again. Just sucks though I can honestly say that this past period of sobriety, being in the gym before and during my cycle that I fucked up with my relapse, was the best I’ve felt in my life. Anyway I’ll be poking around here mostly to see what’s up with everyone I enjoy the camaraderie and hard times everyone gives each other, and to glean more insight on training itself.

    Much respect to the brothers on here who have kicked the dope demon in its ass and who are still rocking it out eating training and living right.

    Crazy shit how life works too, I was selling shard out there in Tampa, ended up getting set up by this dope whore I was banging and robbed by her two African American friends with large handguns, which led to me spiraling into my latest rock bottom. Now I was enraged after this happened, but a few days after I landed up here in Arkansas, I see that the people I was getting my weight from kidnapped a guy, shot him in his head and are on the run. Who knows maybe I could’ve gotten tied into that shit. When I’m using I don’t give a fuck I’m like hell yeah break me something off I’ll come kidnap someone with you! I’m totally out there when I’m using. So I guess everything happens for a reason.

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  2. TorroXL

    TorroXL Member

    If that’s your pic homie I’d have @millardbaker get rid of that immediately. Please nobody quote this post

    Congratulations on getting clean. I’m in the same boat bud
     
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  3. Demondosage

    Demondosage Member

    I've never been a recreational drug addict but from the sounds of it you're an extremist. A lot of bodybuilders are extremists and we are either 100% on or 0%, no half assing anything. So when you're not 100% on its easy to be 100% off and throw everything to the wayside.

    Do you have any other hobbies? Much of addiction is triggered by boredom. Some of the smartest people in the world are the easiest to fall victim to using something because they get bored so easily. I am like that myself a lot. I need other hobbies myself, bodybuilding doesn't fulfill me 100% like it used to, I feel that without another focus it would be very easy to fall off in the near future.

    Good luck man, and think of other hobbies that occupy you and you get excited about, it may help keep you going in the right direction
     
  4. tengtren

    tengtren Member

    You must completely charge your thinking, that whatever was done leading up to this period of sobriety was it. Period. No fucking more. I know your sick of it and no addict likes themselves in active addiction. Go to aa ca na refuge recovery or just the gym whatever the fuck don't pick back up . You said two years in this time so your over the hardest part. You must ask yourself what you want. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT. There are some people that will never get sober and will never make it, they are not the mentality strong, and that's what you must be to stay sober as an addict. THEN you program your mind that you are not one. I WAS addicted to substance. I am NOT NOW. I am (fill in the blank) today, it's all your choice.

    Remember

    YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT. ONLY A MATTER OF WHAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG.

    Good luck boyo
     
  5. I believe he said those are the people he was rollin with or buying crystallized methamphetamine from
     
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  6. TorroXL

    TorroXL Member

    Crystallized Methamphetamine☠️
     
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  7. That’s how the cool kids say it ;)
     
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