Memoirs of a Steroid Kingpin, Episode 10: “Adumbrations”

I was working in the Emergency Room, at a stand-up computer station, when I off handedly decided to check my business email to discover three new correspondents. My eyes were wide. I did not expect this. Each of them was similar, indicating that Psycho had reported to them that my products were of high quality, and he had divulged to them my contact information. They each asked for a list of the products and prices that I offered. Damn, I didn’t have a word file with my product list on this work computer. I wanted to respond to these emails right now, but I couldn’t retype my entire list of products, prices, and ordering information because it was far too vast. Wait! I had sent a product list to each of the ambassadors when I sent them samples to review. I went into my “sent” folder, copied one of my product and ordering information lists, and pasted it to each of these new potential clients.

Well, that was exciting. These new correspondents were probably just curious about my products, and would never even respond to my emailed list, let alone order anything. But, garnering some interest was a step in the right direction. I was intrigued to see what prompted Psycho to commence advertising my business, so I searched for an answer on iSteroids. I immediately noticed that I had a PM from someone. The message stated, again, that Psycho had recommended my services, and the potential client wanted my email address for a list of products. I quickly replied with my business email. What was going on? This was crazy. I went to the section where people posted pictures.

The latest pic was of a very large and muscular man, face blurred, flexing for the camera. The caption said, “Started Andropen and Dbol from BDSupplements and noticed results in just 5 days!” First of all; Psycho was huge! Secondly, this was an incredible marketing campaign!

“Ryan, can you run an ECG in thirteen?”, the nurse asked, knocking me out of my fixation on the computer. She wanted me to do an electrocardiogram in room thirteen. This was one of the more technical procedures that my job entailed. It involves measuring the electrical activity generated by the heart. If these signals are interrupted, it is an indication of ischemia or necrosis of myocardial cells (dying or dead heart cells). Most ER techs simply know how to perform this procedure, but don’t understand how to read the results. I was one of the few ER techs who took the time to learn how to interpret the results and make a diagnosis based on the reading. I usually enjoyed the procedure and interpretation, but today I was more focused on my business and what this sudden burst of potential clients ordained.

I finished the ECG, took another round of vitals from the patients in my section, and returned to my stand-up work computer. I looked back at the pic posted by Psycho, and chatter had already begun, with multiple people asking about the source. Psycho was attempting to deflect promoting me as a source in the open forum, and was evidently Personal Messaging everyone my contact information. I looked back at my business email, and I already had two responses from the lists I had sent!

In the first email, the potential client asked if he could buy ten, ten-milliliter vials for five-hundred dollars; one, twenty-five-milliliter vial for one-hundred-twenty-five dollars; and one-hundred Dbol for one-hundred-twenty-five dollars; a total of seven-hundred-fifty dollars. What?! I was used to guys buying one ten-milliliter vial, or thirty Anadrol pills, for under one-hundred dollars. This potential patron was closing in on a thousand-dollar order!

I created my product list to incentivize volume purchases. Ten milliliter vials were the smallest volume, and therefore, at sixty dollars, or six dollars per milliliter, were the most money per milliliter unit volume. The twenty-five milliliter vials, since they were higher volume, at one-hundred-twenty-five dollars, or five dollars per milliliter, were priced cheaper per milliliter unit volume. Likewise, I charged one-dollar-fifty-cents per Dbol pill, one-hundred-twenty-five dollars for one-hundred pills, and three-hundred-dollars for three-hundred pills. I also offered a ten percent discount for orders of one-thousand dollars or more. These volume discounts encouraged people to buy more, which increases inventory turnover, thereby increasing revenue. The cheaper price point for one-hundred Dbol pills is why this new potential customer ordered that amount. This potential client was asking if he could get ten, ten-milliliter vials for five-hundred dollars. I normally sold ten-milliliter vials for sixty dollars, so this discount of ten dollars per vial. It would have been a mistake to argue with this, especially at this point as I was attempting to attract clients. I paid twenty-five dollars per ten-milliliter vial, so I was still making two-hundred-fifty dollars by selling ten of them for five-hundred dollars. That was good enough for me, and it was making a new customer happy enough to come back for more. I replied to his email that seven-seventy-five for all those products was acceptable.

The next email was an order for a twenty-five milliliter Andropen, and a twenty-five milliliter Decabol (nandrolone decanoate). I replied that both of those were in stock, and it would be two-hundred-fifty dollars. That was easy.

I took another round of vitals from my patients, and tended to a few other chores. I returned back to the computer in about forty-five minutes, and both of the potential new clients I had just given confirmation prices to, had already responded. I opened the first email, it was the seven-hundred-fifty-dollar client, and he asked how I wanted him to pay. How stupid of me was that? I just told this guy that I had what he wanted and it would cost seven-hundred-fifty-dollars, and I didn’t tell him how to get me the money. I had thought about this briefly, and I didn’t really know how to collect money either. I asked the new potential client how he usually paid, he indicated that he usually used Western Union. That was ideal, because it was the only way of which I was aware. I knew this wasn’t a long-term solution, and that I had to figure out how to collect money anonymously in the near future, but, for now, I gave him my real name to send money. Giving a client my real name was a massive violation of protocols to maintain anonymity. Black market gurus would have inexorably scolded for this move. The client had to respond again to tell me that Western Union required him to give a location, state and city, to send the money. I chose the city Vestal, NY, which is about ten minutes from where I lived in Endicott, NY. I guess I was thinking that if any cops were investigating, THAT would throw them off the chase.

I went through the same debacle with the other client. I finally imparted all the information each potential client needed. It was exciting, but I still wasn’t taking this too seriously. I didn’t think these clients were going to follow through, and I would believe it when, and if, they actually made a payment. The activity in the Emergency Room began to pick up, and I became engaged with a full slate of patients.

Next >> Episode 11 (Most Profitable Day in My Life)

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Memoirs of a Steroid Kingpin (Table of Contents)

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Ryan’s Root’s real-life autobiographical story is a must-read account of his rise and fall as one of the largest anabolic steroid dealers on the Internet.

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