Memoirs of a Steroid Kingpin, Episode 11: “Most Profitable Day in My Life”

I returned back to my stand-up computer station in approximately two and a half hours. Upon checking my business email again, I noticed three new emails. This was crazy. The first two emails were Western Union payments! One was for seven-hundred-seventy-five dollars, and the other was for two-hundred-fifty-dollars. The most amount of money I had ever made in one day, prior to this, was when I worked as a plumber, and a friend of mine paid me two-hundred-fifty dollars to help him with a tough job. I would make about five-hundred-fifty dollars on this day, a new personal record, and an adumbration of what was to come. The fact that these two made relatively large orders from a new source, who wasn’t even an approved source on iSteroids yet, proved just how much influence Psycho had over the online steroid community, and proved how much one great marketer or salesman can shape a good business model.

I would make about five-hundred-fifty dollars on this day, a new personal record!

I quickly replied to the two clients that sent payments, thanking them for their business, and indicating that I would send the orders tomorrow, including the tracking numbers. The third email was from a new potential client, who, once again, stated that Psycho had recommended my services. The new client stated that he wanted thirty Dbol as a test order, and if everything went well, he would be back for a larger order. Most internet sources enforced a minimum order. There are two reasons for this. The first is to maximize the cost/risk/reward components of e-commerce. Most legal e-commerce businesses enforce relatively low minimum orders, but because anabolic steroids are illegal, the risk/reward component usually yields a higher minimum order of one-hundred-dollars or more in order to mitigate risk with greater reward. The second reason to enforce a minimum order is an implementation to reduce the volume of orders for a source that is inundated with customers. Popular internet sources can quickly become overwhelmed with orders, which can negatively affect their customer service, and establishing a high minimum order allows popular sources to reduce their order volume to concentrate on quality revenue generating clients. Legal businesses would simply scale their business to accommodate more clients, but that is difficult in an illegal black market. Anabolic steroid dealers cannot post their job vacancies on indeed.com, and check resumes to hire the best and brightest employees. The more people who knew about an illegal business, the more associated risk for getting arrested. Therefore, the safest measure for an overwhelmed black-market dealer was to increase the minimum order to reduce the volume of clientele. Because I was a very new burgeoning source with a quality business model, but low volume, it was more important that I get my products into customer hands than worry about profit or risk/reward. Therefore, I replied to the newest potential client requesting 30 Dbol pills that I was able to fill his order, and this time, I gave him the proper payment information.

While I was responding to these emails, another came in. It was from Psycho. He wrote, “Hey, I can feel your products kicking in. Great stuff, man! I told some guys about your great service and products. They should be contacting you soon. Thanks again, talk to you soon.”

I replied, “yeah, I can see that you have been busy! I have had five of your acquaintances email me so far, and two of them have already paid for orders! If you keep this up my friend, then don’t worry about paying for the last order, and I will give you more free orders in the future. Great job, and keep the customers coming!” I really didn’t expect anyone to produce so many potential clients. I figured some incentive to continue his marketing campaign to produce clients could only help.

In his next reply, he stated, “Good! I am glad some of my guys are becoming customers already. But that is nothing. I will get you at least thirty more in the next few weeks. Get ready BD!” He was the first one to refer to me as BD. It would catch on, and become an endearing sobriquet.

When I arrived home that night, I immediately packaged the orders for which I received payment information. These packages were heading to California and Florida. In the past, when I had mailed orders to Gene, a few of the vials broke on one occasion, and leaked through the package. This had the potential to be dangerous, and luckily Gene still received the leaking package. Although I learned from that experience, I obviously had not learned enough, because my packaging was sorely inadequate in the early days. I wrapped all the vials in paper towels, and packaged the smaller order in a cardboard envelope. The large order was too much for an envelope, so I packaged it in one of the few small cardboard boxes I had obtained from the post office. The small carboard boxes were much more secure, and I made a mental note to pick up a copious quantity of these the next time I was at the post office. I had also received payment information for the client who ordered thirty Dbol pills, so I packaged that in a cardboard envelope as well.

When I woke in the morning, I answered emails and any comments on iSteroids or Phantom Gym. I sent about five more product lists out to people who had been referred by Psycho. On my way to the gym and work, I left early to pick up money from Western Union and to mail the packages. I stopped at my local grocery store, which contained a Western Union hub. I had never used Western Union before, but I fumbled through the form’s questions, dispensing my information, the MTCN number, plus the name and location of the sender. The teller was authenticating all of the information, then I saw her open the cash register, and begin to count money. My heart swooned.

When I walked away from the Western Union teller with over one-thousand dollars in my hand, I perceived a warm sensation flushing through my chest. It felt like benediction; it felt like power; it felt like I finally had a purpose. I could get used to this. I was hooked.

Next >> Episode 12 (Becoming an Approved Source)

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Memoirs of a Steroid Kingpin (Table of Contents)

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Ryan’s Root’s real-life autobiographical story is a must-read account of his rise and fall as one of the largest anabolic steroid dealers on the Internet.

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