humangrowthwhore
New Member
Hello all.
Let me tell you a bit about myself. And please forgive me if I'm sharing too much. I just want to be as transparent as possible to get the help I'm looking for. I'm new here but not new to PEDs. It's been some years since I messed with anything. 10 to be exact. I will be 33 in June, I'm 5'6'', 177 lbs BFP is probably around 25%. I used to be 9ish % BFP at 190lbs but things changed. That's a long story that probably doesn't belong in this forum but I feel like I should share some for those who might be slightly interested.
*** If you're not interested in reading about what led me to want/need TRT, then skip down to the $$$ $$$ $$$ for the most relevant stuff***
Many years ago I developed pretty serious anxiety that basically crippled me. Before that point, I always thought that anxiety was just people who were being dramatic not knowing the chemical changes that were physically happening in the brain during an anxiety attack. When the anxiety first hit me I didn't know what it was. I thought I was going crazy since the word anxiety wasn't even part of my vocabulary. It took maybe a year of panic attacks to realize I was dealing with some form of anxiety. Now I didn't realize this at the time but around the time I developed this anxiety I had been off the PEDs for roughly a few months. The last cycle was a heavy Test 300 and Tren E cycle. This cycle shut me down BIG time for months and the letrozol I was using just didn't do the job. (It was the old-school UGL gear). Looking back I didn't make the correlation between the juice and the anxiety. Still to this day, I'm not sure if there was a connection but I'm sure the messed-up hormones played a role in the anxiety in 1 way or another and I'm sure the anxiety made cortisol rise and test drop causing what felt like a never-ending loop.
Rewind a couple of months before the anxiety. I had done juice off and on for maybe 18 months or more in cycles of 5 weeks on, 3 weeks off from ages 20-22. I was doing cycles typically with a long ester test base at around 400-700 mg a week and would stack d-bol, deca, tren, eq with the test, just to name a few adding another 350-550mg or so. The injection was always every 3rd day. I wouldn't stack any more than 3 but typically ran 2. I would run Letro starting one week before my last shot and continue that for 3 weeks until one week before the first shot of my next cycle. Looking back I realize this wasn't ideal but this is what I was taught by someone who I thought was knowledgeable at that point in time. I would also like to add this guy was about 280 LBs, about 6'3'', and absolutely ripped. He owned the biggest gym in the city at the time so you can't really blame a kid for taking the advice.
I should quickly add that I did do a small cycle (with a friend) of depot at the age of 16. about 200mg every week for 2 months then quit and just continued on with life. I'm not sure if that had any permanent affects on me but I do think it's important to add. I'm not proud of this but I guess this was a result of being one of the smaller of my peers. That said I was typically stronger than most even without the gear.
Fast forward to the age of 27. I began to realize that something else was going on chemically in my body. I always wrote it off as part of the anxiety but started to realize there was a deeper problem underlying the anxiety. At this point, I was absolutely drained and completely fed up with having to walk around feeling like this. I had tried everything in the book to help how shitty I felt. The lack of motivation, energy, drive, and just overall will was overwhelming.
At this point, I had bloodwork done to see if maybe I had a thyroid problem or some other oddball problem. TRT wasn't on my radar yet. I was told by all docs who looked at it that all my levels were fine other than cholesterol and vitamin b. I wish I knew then what I know now. I recently looked for the bloodwork but can't seem to find it. I do remember my test being low and my SHBG being high as fuck but not %100 sure what the exact numbers were.
$$$ $$$ $$$
$$$ $$$ $$$
$$$ $$$ $$$
About 1.5-2 years ago I discovered Andrew Huberman along with a number of other academics, professionals, and advocates in the men's health field. I came to the realization I probably need TRT. I went online and started looking up TRT clinics close to me with no luck. I decided to take matters into my own hands and found some natural test boosters such as...
All taken ED
600mg Fedogia Agrestis
600mg Tongkat Ali
700mg Nettle Root
450mg Ursolic Acid
500mg Tribulus Terrestris
???mg Maca
In less than a week I really started to feel better and less like a shell of my old self. I was sweating more during workouts, cutting fat, and bulked up a bit. My muscles were getting harder and more rounded. I quickly became much more motivated and just wanted to do shit instead of dragging my ass around all day. I developed my old competitive mindset and libido amongst all that other good stuff. Everyone around me noticed these changes as well. It's safe to say that the natural stuff actually did a decent job. I did this for around 5 months straight. I ended my "cycle" with a natural AI called "7,8 Benzoflavone Complex). It consists of.....
All taken ED
200mg 7,8 Benzoflavone (99% by HPLC)
200mg Trans-Resveratrol (98% by HPLC)
620mg Phosphatidylserine (65% by HPLC)
The effects did taper off rather quickly. After the cycle, I thought I might just wait and see if things permanently change, and much to my surprise they didn't. I felt slightly more shitty every week. It's maybe 6 months later now and I feel just as shitty as I did before if not more. I'm back to yawning while working out and physically at a perpetual plateau along with all the other fantastic shit that comes along with what I feel are overall suboptimal test levels.
I ended up getting bloodwork done about 6 weeks ago. My blood was drawn at 7:am after a 12-hour fast as well which from what I understand increases test. The panel looks a little incomplete from what I had researched and what I asked the doctor for but baggers can't be choosers.
I have recently been denied TRT by 2 local TRT clinics in the past month cause my numbers aren't at fuckin 200. Both my SHBG and FAI were flagged for further analysis. Apparently, all my levels are normal and there is something else wrong with me, I know my test wasn't super low at the time of the last blood draw but I do know what I feel like. Everyone is different and what I can definitely say right now is that my hormones aren't optimal for me to feel good and as a result, it's keeping me from living my best life. It seems to be all about numbers with these Canadian doctors and rightfully so as this is likely how they were taught. Book smart is never as good as experience. It seems like all the decent Endo's I see in the US seem to have been in my shoes at some point as they are more understanding.
I would like to add that I think it's a fuckin joke how our TRT clinics work here in Canada. Well, at least the ones I have been to. They will treat any chick who simply wants to transition to a man without a fuckin question. If my 16-year-old female cousin wants to be a dude...guess what. She gets the test... Yeah, I know. That's the world we live in right now. They won't treat a 32-year-old man like me but will pump female kids to the gills. WTF.
I just applied at an out-of-city TRT clinic called "Onmen" and have received the panel for my blood work. I will be getting that done Monday and hopefully will have an open-minded doctor who is willing to work with me on my journey. I'm definitely not getting my hopes up and have already prepared myself for what I'm expecting to be a big NO.
As a result of all of this shit, I have decided to take matters into my own hands regardless of what this next doctor has to say. Earlier this week I ended up ordering some gear. I got some sus 250, Cardarine, Nolva & HCG (just in case), HGH, and some MK677 for the old lady. I'm planning on running.....
-150-200mg sus for the first couple of weeks to see how that makes me feel and go from there. Might drop to 100-150 and cruise.
-2IU HGH ED split up throughout the day and slowly increase to 4IU throughout the next couple of weeks.
-10mg ED of Cardarine split into 2 doses of 5mg.
All that being said....I'm currently looking for someone who is interested in helping me monitor my bloodwork. Don't bother if you're not a seasoned vet. I'm willing to actually pay for someone's time to help me out for a while and just kind of steer me in the right direction. I'm not expecting a medical professional or asking for medical help although I'm not opposed. Just some friendly and hypothetical guidance. If you are that person or if you know someone who is then please reach out.
I'm planning on running monthly bloodwork just to really get a feel for how my body is taking to the new stuff. I'm not an idiot and I'm sure I can manage myself but would much rather have someone who knows their shit to help me monitor my bloodwork. I don't think this is a big ask so don't crucify me in the comment section.
IMPORTANT!!!
I'm not here to argue with dudes that have an opinion and most definitely not here to read someone's comment about how I don't need TRT or "that's not a TRT dose that's a cycle" so save your energy if that's you. I have seen guys with much better bloodwork get proper TRT but definitely not here in Canada. I'm here only for the help I'm looking for and hopefully for other dudes to relate to.
Please leave a comment or reach out to me at ***humangrowthwhore @protonmail.com***
Thanks in Advance!
Let me tell you a bit about myself. And please forgive me if I'm sharing too much. I just want to be as transparent as possible to get the help I'm looking for. I'm new here but not new to PEDs. It's been some years since I messed with anything. 10 to be exact. I will be 33 in June, I'm 5'6'', 177 lbs BFP is probably around 25%. I used to be 9ish % BFP at 190lbs but things changed. That's a long story that probably doesn't belong in this forum but I feel like I should share some for those who might be slightly interested.
*** If you're not interested in reading about what led me to want/need TRT, then skip down to the $$$ $$$ $$$ for the most relevant stuff***
Many years ago I developed pretty serious anxiety that basically crippled me. Before that point, I always thought that anxiety was just people who were being dramatic not knowing the chemical changes that were physically happening in the brain during an anxiety attack. When the anxiety first hit me I didn't know what it was. I thought I was going crazy since the word anxiety wasn't even part of my vocabulary. It took maybe a year of panic attacks to realize I was dealing with some form of anxiety. Now I didn't realize this at the time but around the time I developed this anxiety I had been off the PEDs for roughly a few months. The last cycle was a heavy Test 300 and Tren E cycle. This cycle shut me down BIG time for months and the letrozol I was using just didn't do the job. (It was the old-school UGL gear). Looking back I didn't make the correlation between the juice and the anxiety. Still to this day, I'm not sure if there was a connection but I'm sure the messed-up hormones played a role in the anxiety in 1 way or another and I'm sure the anxiety made cortisol rise and test drop causing what felt like a never-ending loop.
Rewind a couple of months before the anxiety. I had done juice off and on for maybe 18 months or more in cycles of 5 weeks on, 3 weeks off from ages 20-22. I was doing cycles typically with a long ester test base at around 400-700 mg a week and would stack d-bol, deca, tren, eq with the test, just to name a few adding another 350-550mg or so. The injection was always every 3rd day. I wouldn't stack any more than 3 but typically ran 2. I would run Letro starting one week before my last shot and continue that for 3 weeks until one week before the first shot of my next cycle. Looking back I realize this wasn't ideal but this is what I was taught by someone who I thought was knowledgeable at that point in time. I would also like to add this guy was about 280 LBs, about 6'3'', and absolutely ripped. He owned the biggest gym in the city at the time so you can't really blame a kid for taking the advice.
I should quickly add that I did do a small cycle (with a friend) of depot at the age of 16. about 200mg every week for 2 months then quit and just continued on with life. I'm not sure if that had any permanent affects on me but I do think it's important to add. I'm not proud of this but I guess this was a result of being one of the smaller of my peers. That said I was typically stronger than most even without the gear.
Fast forward to the age of 27. I began to realize that something else was going on chemically in my body. I always wrote it off as part of the anxiety but started to realize there was a deeper problem underlying the anxiety. At this point, I was absolutely drained and completely fed up with having to walk around feeling like this. I had tried everything in the book to help how shitty I felt. The lack of motivation, energy, drive, and just overall will was overwhelming.
At this point, I had bloodwork done to see if maybe I had a thyroid problem or some other oddball problem. TRT wasn't on my radar yet. I was told by all docs who looked at it that all my levels were fine other than cholesterol and vitamin b. I wish I knew then what I know now. I recently looked for the bloodwork but can't seem to find it. I do remember my test being low and my SHBG being high as fuck but not %100 sure what the exact numbers were.
$$$ $$$ $$$
$$$ $$$ $$$
$$$ $$$ $$$
About 1.5-2 years ago I discovered Andrew Huberman along with a number of other academics, professionals, and advocates in the men's health field. I came to the realization I probably need TRT. I went online and started looking up TRT clinics close to me with no luck. I decided to take matters into my own hands and found some natural test boosters such as...
All taken ED
600mg Fedogia Agrestis
600mg Tongkat Ali
700mg Nettle Root
450mg Ursolic Acid
500mg Tribulus Terrestris
???mg Maca
In less than a week I really started to feel better and less like a shell of my old self. I was sweating more during workouts, cutting fat, and bulked up a bit. My muscles were getting harder and more rounded. I quickly became much more motivated and just wanted to do shit instead of dragging my ass around all day. I developed my old competitive mindset and libido amongst all that other good stuff. Everyone around me noticed these changes as well. It's safe to say that the natural stuff actually did a decent job. I did this for around 5 months straight. I ended my "cycle" with a natural AI called "7,8 Benzoflavone Complex). It consists of.....
All taken ED
200mg 7,8 Benzoflavone (99% by HPLC)
200mg Trans-Resveratrol (98% by HPLC)
620mg Phosphatidylserine (65% by HPLC)
The effects did taper off rather quickly. After the cycle, I thought I might just wait and see if things permanently change, and much to my surprise they didn't. I felt slightly more shitty every week. It's maybe 6 months later now and I feel just as shitty as I did before if not more. I'm back to yawning while working out and physically at a perpetual plateau along with all the other fantastic shit that comes along with what I feel are overall suboptimal test levels.
I ended up getting bloodwork done about 6 weeks ago. My blood was drawn at 7:am after a 12-hour fast as well which from what I understand increases test. The panel looks a little incomplete from what I had researched and what I asked the doctor for but baggers can't be choosers.
I have recently been denied TRT by 2 local TRT clinics in the past month cause my numbers aren't at fuckin 200. Both my SHBG and FAI were flagged for further analysis. Apparently, all my levels are normal and there is something else wrong with me, I know my test wasn't super low at the time of the last blood draw but I do know what I feel like. Everyone is different and what I can definitely say right now is that my hormones aren't optimal for me to feel good and as a result, it's keeping me from living my best life. It seems to be all about numbers with these Canadian doctors and rightfully so as this is likely how they were taught. Book smart is never as good as experience. It seems like all the decent Endo's I see in the US seem to have been in my shoes at some point as they are more understanding.
I would like to add that I think it's a fuckin joke how our TRT clinics work here in Canada. Well, at least the ones I have been to. They will treat any chick who simply wants to transition to a man without a fuckin question. If my 16-year-old female cousin wants to be a dude...guess what. She gets the test... Yeah, I know. That's the world we live in right now. They won't treat a 32-year-old man like me but will pump female kids to the gills. WTF.
I just applied at an out-of-city TRT clinic called "Onmen" and have received the panel for my blood work. I will be getting that done Monday and hopefully will have an open-minded doctor who is willing to work with me on my journey. I'm definitely not getting my hopes up and have already prepared myself for what I'm expecting to be a big NO.
As a result of all of this shit, I have decided to take matters into my own hands regardless of what this next doctor has to say. Earlier this week I ended up ordering some gear. I got some sus 250, Cardarine, Nolva & HCG (just in case), HGH, and some MK677 for the old lady. I'm planning on running.....
-150-200mg sus for the first couple of weeks to see how that makes me feel and go from there. Might drop to 100-150 and cruise.
-2IU HGH ED split up throughout the day and slowly increase to 4IU throughout the next couple of weeks.
-10mg ED of Cardarine split into 2 doses of 5mg.
All that being said....I'm currently looking for someone who is interested in helping me monitor my bloodwork. Don't bother if you're not a seasoned vet. I'm willing to actually pay for someone's time to help me out for a while and just kind of steer me in the right direction. I'm not expecting a medical professional or asking for medical help although I'm not opposed. Just some friendly and hypothetical guidance. If you are that person or if you know someone who is then please reach out.
I'm planning on running monthly bloodwork just to really get a feel for how my body is taking to the new stuff. I'm not an idiot and I'm sure I can manage myself but would much rather have someone who knows their shit to help me monitor my bloodwork. I don't think this is a big ask so don't crucify me in the comment section.
IMPORTANT!!!
I'm not here to argue with dudes that have an opinion and most definitely not here to read someone's comment about how I don't need TRT or "that's not a TRT dose that's a cycle" so save your energy if that's you. I have seen guys with much better bloodwork get proper TRT but definitely not here in Canada. I'm here only for the help I'm looking for and hopefully for other dudes to relate to.
Please leave a comment or reach out to me at ***humangrowthwhore @protonmail.com***
Thanks in Advance!
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