Im Such A Shit!!!!

[Massive690]

Well, Im going to get flamed big time for this one, but dammit I deserve it. Ok, here goes I have 5 finals next week and have been busting my ass studying for them. So to relieve some stress I decided to go out to the bar last night and have a few beers and watch the t-wolves game. Turns out that all of my friends decided they wanted to be candyasses and stay in for the night so I ended up going by myself (I usually know a bunch of people out there anyways, so I figured I wouldnt be alone).

So I got to the bar and started watching the game. A few dudes came in and sat next to me. We started shooting the shit a little bit and ordered a few more beers. The guy sitting next to me was a pretty cool dude, he was pretty big so we started talking about lifting and shit. Turns out he works a construction job and comes out to this bar a lot so he knew all of these chicks that were regulars there too. So the chicks came over and sat by us and we started DRINKING, I mean shot after shot after shot. Next thing I knew it was 2 am and we were getting kicked out. Im just shitfaced. The dude invited me and some of the chicks over for and after party at his house, it was right on my way home so I said fuck it why not.

When I got to his house it was just me and him, none of the chicks came over. So I told him I was just going to finish my beer and dip on home. Im in the middle of pounding the rest of my beer when all of the sudden he grabs my ass! I dropped my beer and was like what the fuck was that! he tells me well youre just so gorgeous I couldnt help myself All of the sudden everything made sense: him buying me shots all night, the chicks hanging around him, everything. I contemplated kicking his ass for a second (Ive been in quite a few fights) but I figured I was so drunk and with my luck hed probably end up beating the piss out of me, then Id have to go around saying I got raped by a fag after he knocked me out.

So anyways I decide to turn around and sprint put the door, hop in my car, and get the fuck out of there. For some reason on the way home I felt the need to try to regain my manhood by doing 100 around a 35 mph S curve. Needless to say I lost control, hit a sign, ate it into a huge ditch and ended up in a forest. I got my buddy to come tow me out before the cops came so I didnt get a DWI, but my car is pretty fucked up. Sorry this is so long but I had to tell someone about this and there is no way I was going to tell anyone I know.

The moral to this story is NEVER turn off your gaydar, not even for a second, or those fuckers will trick ya. Dammit! Im such a shit..

 

[cutup]

that sucks bro!

I don't think I could have just walked out, but then again you might have got knocked out since you were so drunk. Better luck next time. And hey keep your gaydar on at all times to avoid turd burglars like that.

 

[Fast Food]

ALLOW ME TO POST THE REEEEEEEEEAL STORY....

".....I contemplated kicking his ass for a second (Ive been in quite a few fights) but I figured I was so drunk and with my luck hed probably end up beating the piss out of me, then Id have to go around saying I got raped by a fag after he knocked me out.... so instead I said, lets go for a joyride.... I figured no one would know and we would be safe... I was a little too drunk to drive but i felt it was okay.... We got to a back road and it was pretty straight for what I could see.... he askes if he could blow me like thick blows cops to get out of tickets and i said sure. wellllll he was giving the best head I have ever gotten... i mean the fat chicks had nothing on him... he was a big burly man heavier in size... maybe he was hungry... I am about to climax and i thought my body was vibrating but it was the grass that i was driving on... there was a turn i didnt see while my head was back and my eyes shut enjoying this wonderful dome piece. ohh ohhhh ohhh OHHHHHHHHH ... .ahhhhhh I finish in his mouth and he keeps it clean and swallows it all. By the time we finished i found myself emerged in some brushes. I was soooo ready to go, and he was sooooo horny that we gave each other the ace & gary pat on the ass and said lets do itttt. So we got out and together as a tandem lifted my elantra out of the woods. I took him home, french kissed him before he brushed his teeth and exchanged numbers.... alls i know is, i hope that the t-wolves make it as far as i did on THEIR first time.... in the second round."


love,
Dr. Thumbs

 

[esco]

lmfao!

ALLOW ME TO POST THE REEEEEEEEEAL STORY....

".....I contemplated kicking his ass for a second (I’ve been in quite a few fights) but I figured I was so drunk and with my luck he’d probably end up beating the piss out of me, then I’d have to go around saying I got raped by a fag after he knocked me out.... so instead I said, lets go for a joyride.... I figured no one would know and we would be safe... I was a little too drunk to drive but i felt it was okay.... We got to a back road and it was pretty straight for what I could see.... he askes if he could blow me like thick blows cops to get out of tickets and i said sure. wellllll he was giving the best head I have ever gotten... i mean the fat chicks had nothing on him... he was a big burly man heavier in size... maybe he was hungry... I am about to climax and i thought my body was vibrating but it was the grass that i was driving on... there was a turn i didnt see while my head was back and my eyes shut enjoying this wonderful dome piece. ohh ohhhh ohhh OHHHHHHHHH ... .ahhhhhh I finish in his mouth and he keeps it clean and swallows it all. By the time we finished i found myself emerged in some brushes. I was soooo ready to go, and he was sooooo horny that we gave each other the ace & gary pat on the ass and said lets do itttt. So we got out and together as a tandem lifted my elantra out of the woods. I took him home, french kissed him before he brushed his teeth and exchanged numbers.... alls i know is, i hope that the t-wolves make it as far as i did on THEIR first time.... in the second round."


love,
Dr. Thumbs

 

[cutup]

that right there is some funny shit!

 

[Massive690]

LMFAO!!!! dammit fast food, how did you know? i told gentlestrength not to tell anyone. that bastard!

 

[Fast Food]

LMFAO!!!! dammit fast food, how did you know? i told gentlestrength not to tell anyone. that bastard!

i'm telling you.... he is lurking everywhere!


next: COMING TO A TOWN NEAR YOU!

 

[crewboss]

i'm telling you.... he is lurking everywhere!


next: COMING TO A TOWN NEAR YOU!

LMFAO food if i didn't know any better i would have thought that was a post from the Freaky One himself.

 

[milesfan]

Everyone is the office is wondering what the hell im laughing at...that is some funny shit

 

[thick]

lol ff. sounds like you talk from experience. as for massive, you gotta go back and teach that fucking faggot a lesson. Kick his ass and steal his hubcaps so you can sell them to pay for the damage to your car

 

[Massive690]

lol ff. sounds like you talk from experience. as for massive, you gotta go back and teach that fucking faggot a lesson. Kick his ass and steal his hubcaps so you can sell them to pay for the damage to your car

i don't know thick. i don't ever wanna see him again. im never going to go to the bar by myself again. it was a horrible horrible experience

 

[moneyman]

Omg That Was So Damn Funny

 

[bearze34]

ALLOW ME TO POST THE REEEEEEEEEAL STORY....

".....I contemplated kicking his ass for a second (Ive been in quite a few fights) but I figured I was so drunk and with my luck hed probably end up beating the piss out of me, then Id have to go around saying I got raped by a fag after he knocked me out.... so instead I said, lets go for a joyride.... I figured no one would know and we would be safe... I was a little too drunk to drive but i felt it was okay.... We got to a back road and it was pretty straight for what I could see.... he askes if he could blow me like thick blows cops to get out of tickets and i said sure. wellllll he was giving the best head I have ever gotten... i mean the fat chicks had nothing on him... he was a big burly man heavier in size... maybe he was hungry... I am about to climax and i thought my body was vibrating but it was the grass that i was driving on... there was a turn i didnt see while my head was back and my eyes shut enjoying this wonderful dome piece. ohh ohhhh ohhh OHHHHHHHHH ... .ahhhhhh I finish in his mouth and he keeps it clean and swallows it all. By the time we finished i found myself emerged in some brushes. I was soooo ready to go, and he was sooooo horny that we gave each other the ace & gary pat on the ass and said lets do itttt. So we got out and together as a tandem lifted my elantra out of the woods. I took him home, french kissed him before he brushed his teeth and exchanged numbers.... alls i know is, i hope that the t-wolves make it as far as i did on THEIR first time.... in the second round."


love,
Dr. Thumbs

ROFLMFAO...Good editing

 

[crewboss]

i don't know thick. i don't ever wanna see him again. im never going to go to the bar by myself again. it was a horrible horrible experience

that sucks. at least you didn't get pinched for dui. i would have lost a fist on that faggot.

 

[neverEnuff]

Well, Im going to get flamed big time for this one, but dammit I deserve it. Ok, here goes I have 5 finals next week and have been busting my ass studying for them. So to relieve some stress I decided to go out to the bar last night and have a few beers and watch the t-wolves game. Turns out that all of my friends decided they wanted to be candyasses and stay in for the night so I ended up going by myself (I usually know a bunch of people out there anyways, so I figured I wouldnt be alone).

So I got to the bar and started watching the game. A few dudes came in and sat next to me. We started shooting the shit a little bit and ordered a few more beers. The guy sitting next to me was a pretty cool dude, he was pretty big so we started talking about lifting and shit. Turns out he works a construction job and comes out to this bar a lot so he knew all of these chicks that were regulars there too. So the chicks came over and sat by us and we started DRINKING, I mean shot after shot after shot. Next thing I knew it was 2 am and we were getting kicked out. Im just shitfaced. The dude invited me and some of the chicks over for and after party at his house, it was right on my way home so I said fuck it why not.

When I got to his house it was just me and him, none of the chicks came over. So I told him I was just going to finish my beer and dip on home. Im in the middle of pounding the rest of my beer when all of the sudden he grabs my ass! I dropped my beer and was like what the fuck was that! he tells me well youre just so gorgeous I couldnt help myself All of the sudden everything made sense: him buying me shots all night, the chicks hanging around him, everything. I contemplated kicking his ass for a second (Ive been in quite a few fights) but I figured I was so drunk and with my luck hed probably end up beating the piss out of me, then Id have to go around saying I got raped by a fag after he knocked me out.

So anyways I decide to turn around and sprint put the door, hop in my car, and get the fuck out of there. For some reason on the way home I felt the need to try to regain my manhood by doing 100 around a 35 mph S curve. Needless to say I lost control, hit a sign, ate it into a huge ditch and ended up in a forest. I got my buddy to come tow me out before the cops came so I didnt get a DWI, but my car is pretty fucked up. Sorry this is so long but I had to tell someone about this and there is no way I was going to tell anyone I know.

The moral to this story is NEVER turn off your gaydar, not even for a second, or those fuckers will trick ya. Dammit! Im such a shit..

hahahahhahahahahah that was fuckin histerical

 

[crunch76]

what a nightmare

 

[Massive690]

what a nightmare

you got that right man. i woke up this morning and was like "did that really happen"? then i went out and looked at my car. rear window is shattered-i was picking glass out of my hair this morning, and the whole trunk and right quarterpanel is just mangled. i went out to the crash site, the sign was on the left side of the road, i hit it with the rear right of my car???? don't quite know how i pulled that off. the ditch is like 15 ft deep so i most definately caught air going down it. and i don't know about the forest, there's a set of tiretracks that go right up to this tree but i didn't hit it somehow. beats me. goddamn homosexuals and their gayness, booooooooo!! to make it all worse the wolves lost. yes sir, what a nightmare is right.

 

[AlphaWolf]

lol. Thats by far the funniest thing I've heard while being on this board...well, next to rambo and his wifes panties.

 

[Massive690]

lol. Thats by far the funniest thing I've heard while being on this board...well, next to rambo and his wifes panties.

figured i might as well let someone get a kick out if it eventhough im kinda miserable right now. DAMMIT i can't believe he said i was gorgeous

 

[ramboj70]

ALLOW ME TO POST THE REEEEEEEEEAL STORY....

".....I contemplated kicking his ass for a second (Ive been in quite a few fights) but I figured I was so drunk and with my luck hed probably end up beating the piss out of me, then Id have to go around saying I got raped by a fag after he knocked me out.... so instead I said, lets go for a joyride.... I figured no one would know and we would be safe... I was a little too drunk to drive but i felt it was okay.... We got to a back road and it was pretty straight for what I could see.... he askes if he could blow me like thick blows cops to get out of tickets and i said sure. wellllll he was giving the best head I have ever gotten... i mean the fat chicks had nothing on him... he was a big burly man heavier in size... maybe he was hungry... I am about to climax and i thought my body was vibrating but it was the grass that i was driving on... there was a turn i didnt see while my head was back and my eyes shut enjoying this wonderful dome piece. ohh ohhhh ohhh OHHHHHHHHH ... .ahhhhhh I finish in his mouth and he keeps it clean and swallows it all. By the time we finished i found myself emerged in some brushes. I was soooo ready to go, and he was sooooo horny that we gave each other the ace & gary pat on the ass and said lets do itttt. So we got out and together as a tandem lifted my elantra out of the woods. I took him home, french kissed him before he brushed his teeth and exchanged numbers.... alls i know is, i hope that the t-wolves make it as far as i did on THEIR first time.... in the second round."


love,
Dr. Thumbs

Fat food strikes again, LMFAO, massive I think you got it, here is what you need to do, bend over, do it right now, look into the mirror at your ass crack, does it look like the size of a beer can, it does, yep you got it from gentlestrength, I feel for you bro but that will teach you to stay away from the blue oaster bar, you got the same problem I do, but your reversed, i get the women and YOU GET THE DUDES, HAAAAAA HAAAAA HAAAA