I contacted M. Scally awhile ago and he advised I post on this forum. I know it's a long read but I wanted a comprehensive picture of where I'm at and where I've been. Thank you in advance for your time!
(2003) - 18 years old - I had my first panic attack during senior year of high school after smoking weed. I didn't think much of it and thought it was a fluke incident. Everything was fine until I made the mistake of smoking weed again and having my second panic attack that I became fearful of future panic attacks. This anticipatory anxiety was also probably exacerbated being that I was finishing up high school. After graduating, my worry about future panic attacks got worse. I saw a psychiatrist and he put me on Effexor and Xanax. I had a bad reaction to Effexor - jaw tightened and tongue was sticking out - so we switched to Lexapro. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder. (I question the GAD diagnosis now because I never met the requirement of having anxiety for 6 months. It was only a few weeks of anxiety.) Anyway, I got worse on the Lexapro - I dropped 40 lbs, had a fever, chills, sensitivity to light and horrible night sweats. I never thought at the time it was side effects from the medicine and always thought it was the anxiety getting worse. After 6 or so weeks, I was back to my normal self. I think I made more progress in the little "therapy" I was receiving with my psychiatrist - realizing it was just anxiety and I wasn't dying.
2008 - (23 years old) - I was taking Lexapro from 2003 to 2007. I stopped because I didn't think I needed it anymore. One day during the summer, I had a Mike's Hard Lemonade (I don't drink ANY liquor as I don't like the taste but this stuff tastes so good!!) and had my first panic attack in a long time. Fearful my anxiety was coming back, I began taking leftovers of my Lexapro and within a week, I was getting worse again. I went through the same thing I went through last time after taking Lexapro and was getting better after 6-8 weeks. This time around I began seeing a therapist because I wanted to try Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy to control my panic attacks instead of relying on medication. I was also feeling depressed that it came back as I thought I closed that chapter in my life.
I was beginning to get a grasp of the anxiety (was on a lower dose of Lexapro and decided not to take ANY Xanax at all - I wanted to learn to cope). There was still some residual depression from the anxiety - part of it was because I didn't want it to define me or be with me throughout my life and because it was a major disruptor in my life with school and work. I was never diagnosed with Major Depression, Bipolar Disorder or any clinical type of Depression of the like from my psychiatrist nor my therapist. My psychotherapist stated it was "secondary depression" caused by the anxiety.
2010 (25 years old): I was getting much better with my anxiety and depression and felt I was on my way to recovery. During January of 2010, I noticed a drop in libido and I attributed this to seasonal changes and thought it would pick up during spring - it didn't. (I want to point out that during this time my girlfriend and I got into a fight and broke up but when we made up the make-up sex was great as my libido was through the roof! I thought I was back to my ol' self. Just thought that was interesting that the libido spiked back up which was the last time I had a great libido).
Spring and summer came and my libido didn't pick up so I talked with my doctor and she ran some tests:
(8-12-2010)
Total Testosterone: 170 (250-1100)
Free Testosterone: 24 (46-224)
Bioavailable T: 50.4 (110-575)
SHBG: 27 (7-49)
FSH: 3.1 (1.6-8.0)
Prolactin: 7.5 (2-18)
TSH: 2.99 (0.40-4.5)
She wanted to put me on Androgel but being weary of going on medication right away, I opted against it. I wanted to look into it more for myself so I can make a more educated decision about going on TRT.
I found my way on Steroidology and I began taking Chip Wadowski's protocol. I forgot the doses but it consisted of T Cyp, AI and HcG. I began feeling uncomfortable with the whole process and stopped taking it. I wasn't feeling any better either.
I had some new numbers drawn with a new doctor awhile off TRT ( I don't recall how long I was off TRT but it was awhile).
(3-10-2011):
Total Testosterone: 321 (241-827)
Free Testosterone: 1.05 (0.95-4.30)
Estradiol: 62 (<20-47)
Free T4: 1.0 (0.7-1.7)
Total T3: 118 (60-181)
TSH: 1.29 (0.35-5.50)
Cholesterol: 247 (120-200)
LDL: 181 (0-100)
Triglycerides: 101 (10-150)
He said I was normal. At this point I tried some of the leftover AI from Chip as I've read low testosterone could be obesity-induced and because I had an E2 value of 62.3pg/mL (7.6-42.6) on a recent lab report. I am 5'8" and have been around 250 +/- 10 lbs for most of my 20's. After 6 weeks of AI here are my results:
(5-14-2011)
Total Testosterone: 638 (250-1100)
Free Testosterone: 94.4 (35-155)
Estradiol: 24 (<20-47)
Cholesterol: 196 (120-200)
LDL: 142 (0-100)
Triglycerides: 106 (10-150)
I still felt no better libido-wise. I asked a family friend of my girlfriend's who is a doctor if he could recommend an Endocrinologist and I began seeing him. He ordered an MRI which found nothing and a sleep study. Sleep study found some apneas when I slept on my back but not on my side. Doctor didn't think it warranted a CPAP and recommended this t-shirt with a sewn tennis ball to keep me from sleeping on my back and/or to lose weight. Here are my lab results from this endocrinologist:
(7-20-2011)
Total Testosterone: 249 (250-1100)
Free Testosterone: 44.6 (35-155)
FSH: 0.8 (1.6-8.0)
LH <0.2 (1.5-9.3)
Prolactin: 4.9 (2-18)
Estradiol: 48 (13-54)
GGT: 133 (3-70)
He performed a Leuprolide stimulation test which showed an increase in FSH and LH and we tried Clomid. Not sure what the Clomid showed but he put me on T Cypionate. After 6 weeks of 50mg's E4D I had my blood drawn. We just checked Total Testosterone just to correct dosage if need be. Lab was drawn the second day after injection. The result was:
(11-??-2011)
Total Testosterone 1055 (250-1100)
I was quite surprised as I didn't feel any better. Then I decided to get my Estradiol checked up a few weeks later as maybe a possible culprit.
Don't remember the timing of shot:
E2 = 62pg (Range 7-42)
I talked with my endo about using Arimidex and he agreed. Wanted me to start on 1mg a day but I opted for 0.25 per day. We had some labs drawn again while I was picking up the prescription for Arimidex and here are the results - Day 4 of E4D protocol:
(10-??-2011)
Total T = 540ish (Range 250-1100)
Free T = 155 (Range 35-155)
At this point I lost my insurance and went through Life Extension to have labs drawn to evaluate dosage of Arimidex (40mg's of Cypionate + 0.25mg of AI per day). Here are my results (taken on 2nd day of E4D schedule):
(5-7-2012)
Testosterone: 523 (Range: 348-1197)
Free Testosterone: 16.9 (Range: 9.3-26.5)
Pregnenolone: 28 (Range: <151)
DHT: 20 (Range: 30-85)
DHEA-S: 385 (Range: 160-449)
Estradiol: 6.9 (Range: 7.6-42.6)
Vitamin D: 69.9 (Range: 30-100)
I scaled back on the Arimidex and increased the test dosage from 40 to 50mg's E4D - nothing. Pissed that my libido did not pick up I was intrigued that my DHT was flagged low and was looking into gels for the better DHT conversion. At some point I gave up on TRT and stopped injecting myself. I wanted to try gels but I couldn't afford it being that I have no insurance but my doctor gave me 4 bottles of Axiron to try out recently.
In December 2013, I had labs drawn to see where I stood at that point - hadn't been on TRT for over a year.
(12-4-2013)
Total Testosterone: 432 (348-1197)
Free Testosterone: 11.9 (9.3-26.5)
DHEA-S: 301.5 (138-475)
Estradiol: 61.7 (7.6-42.6)
Kinda surprised the testosterone was normalizing but I tried Axiron anyway as I was desperate for my libido to come back. After a month of 2 pumps of Axiron per day + 0.25mg's of Arimidex EOD here are my results:
(1-10-2014)
Total Testosterone: 964 (348-1197)
Free Testosterone: 33.2 (9.3-26.5)
Prolactin: 6.6 (4-15)
Estradiol: 14 (7.6-42.6)
Free T3: 3.2 (2-4)
Sti
(2003) - 18 years old - I had my first panic attack during senior year of high school after smoking weed. I didn't think much of it and thought it was a fluke incident. Everything was fine until I made the mistake of smoking weed again and having my second panic attack that I became fearful of future panic attacks. This anticipatory anxiety was also probably exacerbated being that I was finishing up high school. After graduating, my worry about future panic attacks got worse. I saw a psychiatrist and he put me on Effexor and Xanax. I had a bad reaction to Effexor - jaw tightened and tongue was sticking out - so we switched to Lexapro. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Panic Disorder. (I question the GAD diagnosis now because I never met the requirement of having anxiety for 6 months. It was only a few weeks of anxiety.) Anyway, I got worse on the Lexapro - I dropped 40 lbs, had a fever, chills, sensitivity to light and horrible night sweats. I never thought at the time it was side effects from the medicine and always thought it was the anxiety getting worse. After 6 or so weeks, I was back to my normal self. I think I made more progress in the little "therapy" I was receiving with my psychiatrist - realizing it was just anxiety and I wasn't dying.
2008 - (23 years old) - I was taking Lexapro from 2003 to 2007. I stopped because I didn't think I needed it anymore. One day during the summer, I had a Mike's Hard Lemonade (I don't drink ANY liquor as I don't like the taste but this stuff tastes so good!!) and had my first panic attack in a long time. Fearful my anxiety was coming back, I began taking leftovers of my Lexapro and within a week, I was getting worse again. I went through the same thing I went through last time after taking Lexapro and was getting better after 6-8 weeks. This time around I began seeing a therapist because I wanted to try Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy to control my panic attacks instead of relying on medication. I was also feeling depressed that it came back as I thought I closed that chapter in my life.
I was beginning to get a grasp of the anxiety (was on a lower dose of Lexapro and decided not to take ANY Xanax at all - I wanted to learn to cope). There was still some residual depression from the anxiety - part of it was because I didn't want it to define me or be with me throughout my life and because it was a major disruptor in my life with school and work. I was never diagnosed with Major Depression, Bipolar Disorder or any clinical type of Depression of the like from my psychiatrist nor my therapist. My psychotherapist stated it was "secondary depression" caused by the anxiety.
2010 (25 years old): I was getting much better with my anxiety and depression and felt I was on my way to recovery. During January of 2010, I noticed a drop in libido and I attributed this to seasonal changes and thought it would pick up during spring - it didn't. (I want to point out that during this time my girlfriend and I got into a fight and broke up but when we made up the make-up sex was great as my libido was through the roof! I thought I was back to my ol' self. Just thought that was interesting that the libido spiked back up which was the last time I had a great libido).
Spring and summer came and my libido didn't pick up so I talked with my doctor and she ran some tests:
(8-12-2010)
Total Testosterone: 170 (250-1100)
Free Testosterone: 24 (46-224)
Bioavailable T: 50.4 (110-575)
SHBG: 27 (7-49)
FSH: 3.1 (1.6-8.0)
Prolactin: 7.5 (2-18)
TSH: 2.99 (0.40-4.5)
She wanted to put me on Androgel but being weary of going on medication right away, I opted against it. I wanted to look into it more for myself so I can make a more educated decision about going on TRT.
I found my way on Steroidology and I began taking Chip Wadowski's protocol. I forgot the doses but it consisted of T Cyp, AI and HcG. I began feeling uncomfortable with the whole process and stopped taking it. I wasn't feeling any better either.
I had some new numbers drawn with a new doctor awhile off TRT ( I don't recall how long I was off TRT but it was awhile).
(3-10-2011):
Total Testosterone: 321 (241-827)
Free Testosterone: 1.05 (0.95-4.30)
Estradiol: 62 (<20-47)
Free T4: 1.0 (0.7-1.7)
Total T3: 118 (60-181)
TSH: 1.29 (0.35-5.50)
Cholesterol: 247 (120-200)
LDL: 181 (0-100)
Triglycerides: 101 (10-150)
He said I was normal. At this point I tried some of the leftover AI from Chip as I've read low testosterone could be obesity-induced and because I had an E2 value of 62.3pg/mL (7.6-42.6) on a recent lab report. I am 5'8" and have been around 250 +/- 10 lbs for most of my 20's. After 6 weeks of AI here are my results:
(5-14-2011)
Total Testosterone: 638 (250-1100)
Free Testosterone: 94.4 (35-155)
Estradiol: 24 (<20-47)
Cholesterol: 196 (120-200)
LDL: 142 (0-100)
Triglycerides: 106 (10-150)
I still felt no better libido-wise. I asked a family friend of my girlfriend's who is a doctor if he could recommend an Endocrinologist and I began seeing him. He ordered an MRI which found nothing and a sleep study. Sleep study found some apneas when I slept on my back but not on my side. Doctor didn't think it warranted a CPAP and recommended this t-shirt with a sewn tennis ball to keep me from sleeping on my back and/or to lose weight. Here are my lab results from this endocrinologist:
(7-20-2011)
Total Testosterone: 249 (250-1100)
Free Testosterone: 44.6 (35-155)
FSH: 0.8 (1.6-8.0)
LH <0.2 (1.5-9.3)
Prolactin: 4.9 (2-18)
Estradiol: 48 (13-54)
GGT: 133 (3-70)
He performed a Leuprolide stimulation test which showed an increase in FSH and LH and we tried Clomid. Not sure what the Clomid showed but he put me on T Cypionate. After 6 weeks of 50mg's E4D I had my blood drawn. We just checked Total Testosterone just to correct dosage if need be. Lab was drawn the second day after injection. The result was:
(11-??-2011)
Total Testosterone 1055 (250-1100)
I was quite surprised as I didn't feel any better. Then I decided to get my Estradiol checked up a few weeks later as maybe a possible culprit.
Don't remember the timing of shot:
E2 = 62pg (Range 7-42)
I talked with my endo about using Arimidex and he agreed. Wanted me to start on 1mg a day but I opted for 0.25 per day. We had some labs drawn again while I was picking up the prescription for Arimidex and here are the results - Day 4 of E4D protocol:
(10-??-2011)
Total T = 540ish (Range 250-1100)
Free T = 155 (Range 35-155)
At this point I lost my insurance and went through Life Extension to have labs drawn to evaluate dosage of Arimidex (40mg's of Cypionate + 0.25mg of AI per day). Here are my results (taken on 2nd day of E4D schedule):
(5-7-2012)
Testosterone: 523 (Range: 348-1197)
Free Testosterone: 16.9 (Range: 9.3-26.5)
Pregnenolone: 28 (Range: <151)
DHT: 20 (Range: 30-85)
DHEA-S: 385 (Range: 160-449)
Estradiol: 6.9 (Range: 7.6-42.6)
Vitamin D: 69.9 (Range: 30-100)
I scaled back on the Arimidex and increased the test dosage from 40 to 50mg's E4D - nothing. Pissed that my libido did not pick up I was intrigued that my DHT was flagged low and was looking into gels for the better DHT conversion. At some point I gave up on TRT and stopped injecting myself. I wanted to try gels but I couldn't afford it being that I have no insurance but my doctor gave me 4 bottles of Axiron to try out recently.
In December 2013, I had labs drawn to see where I stood at that point - hadn't been on TRT for over a year.
(12-4-2013)
Total Testosterone: 432 (348-1197)
Free Testosterone: 11.9 (9.3-26.5)
DHEA-S: 301.5 (138-475)
Estradiol: 61.7 (7.6-42.6)
Kinda surprised the testosterone was normalizing but I tried Axiron anyway as I was desperate for my libido to come back. After a month of 2 pumps of Axiron per day + 0.25mg's of Arimidex EOD here are my results:
(1-10-2014)
Total Testosterone: 964 (348-1197)
Free Testosterone: 33.2 (9.3-26.5)
Prolactin: 6.6 (4-15)
Estradiol: 14 (7.6-42.6)
Free T3: 3.2 (2-4)
Sti
