my wife grandma

[ramboj70]

hey bro's many of you know that my wifes grandma is ill, well today they stoped giving her blood, she has got some blood disorder and they were giving her blood everyday, because she could not make her own blood, well she is not doing well, and all the docs got the family together and said that its time, they are basically stopping all treatment, as her request, so now its all in gods hands, they docs give her maybe 3 days thats if she does not start making her own blood, there are other issues with her, but I have not got into detail with her medically issue with her family, I feel its not my place. But here is my question, my wife was really close to her grandma, my wife is not really a strong person when it comes to things like this, and I have been telling her for years to get prepaired for her grandma, she has not done so, so she calls me today, crying her eyes off as she is driving the SUV going to pick our daughter.

Now I do have a heart and I do care but I show it different, alot different, seing someone die for me is like killing a fly, I care but dont show it, so here is what I told her on the phone, I said listen to me, your grandma is not dead yet so stop that crying now and get yourself together, I told her to save all the crying when her grandma finally did pass, she said you dont have a heart, I told her I did but it was not worth her getting upset and having a nervous breakdown while she was driving the car and picking up our daughter, she could crash or something.so she hung up on me, I called her back about a hour latter and she was still crying, I then told her listen you must stop crying and gather your thoughts together and find a solution to how you are going to deal with this when she does die and how it is going to affect your personal life. I think he started to understand that she was geting tired of crying and that she knew she was going to do it again when her grandma did die, so was I wrong for this? you see being in the military for so long, I dont know how to exspress my feelings like everyone else does, any help would be great. sorry so long but you guys should be used to it by now

 

[dolfe1]

Military has nothing to do with it rambo, you are a man and she is a woman, woman are naturaly more emotional then men, it is a physical feature of her brain. I will pray for you and your family.

 

[Massive690]

everyone deals with hard things like death differently. i deal with death and hardships through my sense of humor, no matter how bad something is i can always make a joke or find the humor in something. women are more likely do deal with things like that by crying and maybe even becoming depressed. not to say that men don't cry or get depressed too, because they do. but at all of the funerals i've been to, every woman cries and only about 1/2 of the men do. my best advice to you Rambo would be to just be supportive of your wife. she is going to deal with this by crying so as her husband give her a shoulder to cry on, but also encourage her to be strong.
i don't know if that makes sense or not, what the hell do i know, im just a guy with a dildo on his chin.

anyways, my regards go out to your family, take care bro

 

[Meat Train]

I think it best that you tell her that you will be strong for her and help her through this. Just being there is enough. Maybe you could plan a memorial for her grandmother in the paper to show her (don't tell her you are doing this), or do something for her to let her know you care(spontaneously).

 

[thick]

i know it will get really annoying listening to her cry and whine about something that she knows is coming. I mean come on. The lady is old and has been ill forever. Sounds cold but it is the truth. Maybe that is just my take on grandparents dying. I am prepared to lose my last ones also. Parents would really suck but still wouldnt be a real shock once they get over 50 or 60. I have lost grandparents and it was no surprise. Either way, she will resent you like no other if you are not there for her. As stupid as it is, u r gonna have to suck it up and really support her emotionally. She will really hate u for it if u dont.

 

[ramboj70]

i know it will get really annoying listening to her cry and whine about something that she knows is coming. I mean come on. The lady is old and has been ill forever. Sounds cold but it is the truth. Maybe that is just my take on grandparents dying. I am prepared to lose my last ones also. Parents would really suck but still wouldnt be a real shock once they get over 50 or 60. I have lost grandparents and it was no surprise. Either way, she will resent you like no other if you are not there for her. As stupid as it is, u r gonna have to suck it up and really support her emotionally. She will really hate u for it if u dont.

so me telling her to cut the crying out, was bad? I know it was but it was better then saying you need to grow up, I went and saw the grandma today and she really looks like shit, I give her 3 days tops, they got her all drug up so she dont feel any pain and ahe wont even know she is goin, so I tell the wife today, look how nice she looks sleeping in that bed, well I think she took me up on my advice and she was holding her tears in, while I was around, I know I have to be there but how does one comfort someone when someone dies? I have no idea, I have always said, well atleast its not me, I guess I have to get soft, maybe if I pop a few extra mg's of clomid I will start crying,

 

[VDC]

The scripture says that Worldly sorrow worketh death,,,I admit that when I found my 85 year old Mom dead I freaked for about 10 minutes,,,First I said, 'Oh Mom.",,,Then I prayed for God to raise her up,,,I was reminded that this was her belief and agreement with him in action,,,Then I started screaming at God that I wanted my Mommy back,,,Yea I went a little crazy there,,,Pretty selfish,,,After all now she is not suffering and is in His prescence without any blinders on,,,Nothing could be better,,,I was going to go on about what happened and how the Lord helped me cope,,,but thats off topic,,,Believe me I was prepared,,,I knew for the last year that she was going to leave soon,,,It was obvious,,,She knew it and even was telling people about it as if it were nothing(and truly it is for believers),,,but the shock on the little boy in me rocked me for awhile,,,You're wife needs to be exhorted as you did,,,be patient with her,,,Just let her pour her heart out,,,Get her to talk about her grandma,,,Treasured memories and such,,,Hopefully the grief will burn out and she'll obtain a calm about it,,,I'm praying for you all,,,VDC

 

[ramboj70]

The scripture says that Worldly sorrow worketh death,,,I admit that when I found my 85 year old Mom dead I freaked for about 10 minutes,,,First I said, 'Oh Mom.",,,Then I prayed for God to raise her up,,,I was reminded that this was her belief and agreement with him in action,,,Then I started screaming at God that I wanted my Mommy back,,,Yea I went a little crazy there,,,Pretty selfish,,,After all now she is not suffering and is in His prescence without any blinders on,,,Nothing could be better,,,I was going to go on about what happened and how the Lord helped me cope,,,but thats off topic,,,Believe me I was prepared,,,I knew for the last year that she was going to leave soon,,,It was obvious,,,She knew it and even was telling people about it as if it were nothing(and truly it is for believers),,,but the shock on the little boy in me rocked me for awhile,,,You're wife needs to be exhorted as you did,,,be patient with her,,,Just let her pour her heart out,,,Get her to talk about her grandma,,,Treasured memories and such,,,Hopefully the grief will burn out and she'll obtain a calm about it,,,I'm praying for you all,,,VDC

thanks bro, good advice