Tren/Test Log

[theprodgicalson]

Absolutely, my addict mindset is practically almost entirely responsible for my dilemma. BUT, I feel that filling an emotional void would assist me in getting my shit together.

But, for how long? That clearly won't work for long, as I'm sure you've tried similar methods. You need to learn to be okay with you, when you're all by yourself. It's one of the toughest things for us alcoholics and drug addicts. Otherwise, you're just filling the void alcohol was filling. You need help man. You can saying IVE done it before, I can do it again. You did it before, but for how long?

I hope I didn't come across as brash. I just remember when I first joined you were one of the mainstays on this board. And you motivated me. I think you may have been the first person I read that said they were sober on this board. And it was awesome to me at the time. I do believe you can stay sober, but you need help with this. Your actions determine your future. Go out and volunteer at a homeless shelter. Go play bingo with the old folks. Do something besides being up in that head of yours. That's the most dangerous place for an alcoholic to be. I'm only a PM away brother, anything I can do to help, let me know!

 

[Looselucy]

I can understand where you are at. I have been there before. Been clean off of heroin since 06 due to a 4 1/2 yr. Stint in the joint. Got out in 11 and thought I could drink like a normal human being. Didn't happen. I have been sober for almost 9 months now. The best I have ever felt. I do go to AA because it helps me identify with people that have the same issues I do. Its a mental obsession and once that cheetah gets on the hamster wheel well I know where that takes me. Just a suggestion. Maybe try CMA or AA. It does get better.

 

[Secret of Steel]

Just in case you're still around - not in jail or dead, I saw your reply about not being an AA guy. I'm not an AA guy either. What does that mean? We don't like it and prefer not to go! But you can't fix the problem and you must not be talking to God much, unless he keeps doing you the favor of seeing another day free and healthy in order to realize you need help. If you really hate AA that bad, then wean off for a day or so, then quit for a few straight days after. Maybe you don't need help if you can do that. But it doesn't sound like you can. You can't help yourself in that case. It's God and AA.

 

[Secret of Steel]

One last thing - some practical info. If you've gone to a meeting and it's a bunch of old depressed farts, fuck em! Every town has multiple meeting locations. Know how I found the right one? Dudes forced me to let them take me out for lunch and pay my tab. People in the meeting were funny. In an ideal AA group people care because their sobriety depends on helping fellow alcoholics and addicts. Think about it.

 

[Mike Oxbig]

I ran into an issue with my tren supply and have been running TRT doses of test over the past month or so.

I've been sick for almost the past 3 weeks, I haven't trained at all since then and have had zero appetite. Currently at 188 lbs, a loss of 35 fucking lbs. I'm sure at least 10 lbs of it is water and I do look a bit leaner but this is seriously fucked. I'm hopeful it will all come back fairly easy, I'll be starting a stack with Var and half a gram of test in the near future.

 

[jJjburton]

AA blows my wang. I hate their logic, 12 steps and all that. People are taking it like a religon which I don't like either. I am forced to go to group from court, and probation. Which is helpful and takes some time out of my day (i would obviously rather not). I think AA or NA is a load of shit and if people stop going there they will relapse. The NA or AA meetings become their new addiction.

hows the tren and test?

 

[brutus79]

AA blows my wang. I hate their logic, 12 steps and all that. People are taking it like a religon which I don't like either. I am forced to go to group from court, and probation. Which is helpful and takes some time out of my day (i would obviously rather not). I think AA or NA is a load of shit and if people stop going there they will relapse. The NA or AA meetings become their new addiction.

hows the tren and test?

If you are so fucking smart why did your stupid ass get arrested?

And he JUST FUCKING SAID in the post above yours that he isn't taking tren. Other than that thanks for a great post.

 

[jJjburton]

Drugs are bad

 

[Mike Oxbig]

I decided to get labs done due to my 35 lbs weight loss seeming disproportionate for 3 weeks of inactivity with a moderate calorie deficit, my TT came back at 295. I was (supposedly) running 250-300/week of test e on top of 500iu of Pregnyl every 5 days. Fuck me.

 

[Colt44]

So you were running oil?

 

[Mike Oxbig]

So you were running oil?

Pretty much.

 

[brutus79]

Pretty much.

From?

 

[Mike Oxbig]

From?

Ultimate I believe? The vial doesn't give the name of the lab.

 

[Colt44]

Ultimate I believe? The vial doesn't give the name of the lab.

Should say it in fine print on the other side of the label. It appears to be UP.

 

[Mike Oxbig]

Should say it in fine print on the other side of the label. It appears to be UP.

Yeah, it does. It is indeed UP.

 

[Mike Oxbig]

Switched to test p a few weeks ago which I'm supposed to be running at 300/week and my current TT is 218.

God fucking dammit. This is why we can't have nice things. I barely have enough energy to take my dog for a walk.