Hi everyone, I'm in CT and I've just turned 30, I'm up with a bit of insomnia so I'm going to ramble on for a bit... I lost my long term girlfriend about 2 months ago. It really made me evaluate a lot of shit in my life. She left me because I've changed, basically all the symptoms of Low T (minus ED, but definitely low libido) to the point where it felt like we were roommates. I don't want to dwell on that though. I want to tell you all where I am, and hopefully make regular updates as I find out more about what's going on with me and as I hopefully make progress.
I've been very lethargic over the last 2-3 years. Looking back over the last few years, I've basically turned into a zombie. I think i started heading downwards and noticed significantly less energy around 5 years ago when i went for a sleep study because Sleep Apnea runs in the family and was told I was fine, so i just trudged on thinking it was in my head and let it gradually get worse.
The past 2-3 years have been work, home, tv, eat, sleep, repeat with no desire for much else. I'd have sex occasionally, but haven't really desired it in a long time. I can't really remember the last time I've really been horny, full of desire, I'd normally have sex out of boredom or because i felt i had to prove something. When i masturbated it was usually because I was bored rather than horny and a way to kill time, or help me "relax" and de-stress. In fact I've masturbated twice in 2 months and had sex with 2 old fling a few times, not because I was horny but because I thought it would help me get over my ex, it did for about a few hours at a time... I'd think based on the fact I seem to ejaculate every 1 to 2 weeks i'd be a walking hard-on, but not the case at all. I used to like to dominate in bed, light bondage and stuff too, but over the past few years i feel like acting when i do it instead of it being natural so it rarely happened. Over the last 2-3 years if not longer I only get the occasional morning wood, like once a month if I'm lucky.
I've become completely risk averse, not doing half the shit I used to... Never wanted to go out, just sit around the house and watch NetFlix. etc. My memory is complete shit. I could have a conversation with someone, read something, do something, and forget it 5 minutes later. I used to be very sure of myself, confident, and that's changed too. If I had to chose a word I'd say I'm now generally apathetic. I used to never be like this. It crept up on me, and I didn't even notice it. Looking back now I'm a completely different person and not in a good way.
So I'm 5'10 and was almost 200 pounds and more around 22% body fat just prior to breaking up 2 months ago... I was unable to eat for the first 2 weeks after she left me and I dropped down to 170 pounds. After that I made my first life change. I've been Forcing myself to the gym to lift for the past 6 weeks. It's a power lifting gym, and I've gotten a personal trainer there, I'm pretty weak, especially in the upper body with pipe cleaner arms. I have never been able to put on mass (other than around my gut) at the gym, it usually ends up with me getting disappointing, not making any gains and quitting, usually sometime after the 6-12 month mark. Right now I'm now 178 lbs, and around 15% bodyfat. I'm eating a mostly healthy diet now. On lift days I shoot for around 2500 calories, and on rest days around 1900.
Getting back to the gym was my first step towards healing. Now I am Forcing myself to go out whenever possible, instead of turning down invites. Forcing myself to pick up new hobbies. Forcing myself to do anything other than sit at home, even if it's sit at the beach. I 've realized doing anything is a challenge and I have to Force it. This doesn't sound like me or who I want to be -- someone who has to fight with himself every day, it's exhausting. I know part of it is sadness from losing my partner, but reflecting back I realized it's much deeper than that. I haven't been active for years and I used to be a very active person.
At first I thought I've just been in a low level depression for years, and started reading a lot of self help stuff, then I found a thread somewhere about Low T and went hmmm that sounds like a fit... Went to Doc, explained it all, he ordered bloodwork, and results came back yesterday. My Total Testosterone is 161 and I also have low B12 (168 where normal range is 180-900). Everything else from the standard blood work panel he does was normal including my Thyroid. He didn't check Free Test, SHBG, E1/E2 levels or anything like that
My Doc gave me the option of TRT, but suggested against it as a first step and said i should see an Endocrinologist to try and determine the cause. So i've been reading as much as I can online about Low T. At first I found some stuff about diets, but the consensus I've seen seems that my T is so low that the Ron Swanson Testosterone Diet wouldn't help much. I've read a lot of info on various forums about various treatments and causes. I've read a number of personal accounts where TRT made guys feel like new people, and honestly the stories sound too good to be true, but so enticing that part of me wants to fix this yesterday in hopes that it will get the new me back to the old me.
So how did I find this forum? Ultimately I want to determine the cause of my Low T and treat it. I started doing a lot of research online and a lot of people complaining about Endo after Endo and how hard it is to find a good one, or one who will take you seriously, or this or that. I couldn't find anyone in the area that seemed to specialize in TRT until a few hours ago. Then I found a form post somewhere where someone mentioned propecia use that tanked their T... and I used to take Propecia and remember stopping it because i heard of some nasty side effects, and noticed my libido had been decreasing. I took it for about 5 years probably stopping around 2010-2011. I found some propecia forums and typed in Connecticut and found a few posts about Dr. Hulinksy.... Some Googling later and I found this place and quite a few posts about him and some very good conversations... I'm not sure if my low T is due to propecia, but it do feel it's worth mentioning.
I will be contacting Dr. Hulinky's office Monday morning to schedule the first available appointment. I want to get to the bottom of this yesterday.
I've been very lethargic over the last 2-3 years. Looking back over the last few years, I've basically turned into a zombie. I think i started heading downwards and noticed significantly less energy around 5 years ago when i went for a sleep study because Sleep Apnea runs in the family and was told I was fine, so i just trudged on thinking it was in my head and let it gradually get worse.
The past 2-3 years have been work, home, tv, eat, sleep, repeat with no desire for much else. I'd have sex occasionally, but haven't really desired it in a long time. I can't really remember the last time I've really been horny, full of desire, I'd normally have sex out of boredom or because i felt i had to prove something. When i masturbated it was usually because I was bored rather than horny and a way to kill time, or help me "relax" and de-stress. In fact I've masturbated twice in 2 months and had sex with 2 old fling a few times, not because I was horny but because I thought it would help me get over my ex, it did for about a few hours at a time... I'd think based on the fact I seem to ejaculate every 1 to 2 weeks i'd be a walking hard-on, but not the case at all. I used to like to dominate in bed, light bondage and stuff too, but over the past few years i feel like acting when i do it instead of it being natural so it rarely happened. Over the last 2-3 years if not longer I only get the occasional morning wood, like once a month if I'm lucky.
I've become completely risk averse, not doing half the shit I used to... Never wanted to go out, just sit around the house and watch NetFlix. etc. My memory is complete shit. I could have a conversation with someone, read something, do something, and forget it 5 minutes later. I used to be very sure of myself, confident, and that's changed too. If I had to chose a word I'd say I'm now generally apathetic. I used to never be like this. It crept up on me, and I didn't even notice it. Looking back now I'm a completely different person and not in a good way.
So I'm 5'10 and was almost 200 pounds and more around 22% body fat just prior to breaking up 2 months ago... I was unable to eat for the first 2 weeks after she left me and I dropped down to 170 pounds. After that I made my first life change. I've been Forcing myself to the gym to lift for the past 6 weeks. It's a power lifting gym, and I've gotten a personal trainer there, I'm pretty weak, especially in the upper body with pipe cleaner arms. I have never been able to put on mass (other than around my gut) at the gym, it usually ends up with me getting disappointing, not making any gains and quitting, usually sometime after the 6-12 month mark. Right now I'm now 178 lbs, and around 15% bodyfat. I'm eating a mostly healthy diet now. On lift days I shoot for around 2500 calories, and on rest days around 1900.
Getting back to the gym was my first step towards healing. Now I am Forcing myself to go out whenever possible, instead of turning down invites. Forcing myself to pick up new hobbies. Forcing myself to do anything other than sit at home, even if it's sit at the beach. I 've realized doing anything is a challenge and I have to Force it. This doesn't sound like me or who I want to be -- someone who has to fight with himself every day, it's exhausting. I know part of it is sadness from losing my partner, but reflecting back I realized it's much deeper than that. I haven't been active for years and I used to be a very active person.
At first I thought I've just been in a low level depression for years, and started reading a lot of self help stuff, then I found a thread somewhere about Low T and went hmmm that sounds like a fit... Went to Doc, explained it all, he ordered bloodwork, and results came back yesterday. My Total Testosterone is 161 and I also have low B12 (168 where normal range is 180-900). Everything else from the standard blood work panel he does was normal including my Thyroid. He didn't check Free Test, SHBG, E1/E2 levels or anything like that
My Doc gave me the option of TRT, but suggested against it as a first step and said i should see an Endocrinologist to try and determine the cause. So i've been reading as much as I can online about Low T. At first I found some stuff about diets, but the consensus I've seen seems that my T is so low that the Ron Swanson Testosterone Diet wouldn't help much. I've read a lot of info on various forums about various treatments and causes. I've read a number of personal accounts where TRT made guys feel like new people, and honestly the stories sound too good to be true, but so enticing that part of me wants to fix this yesterday in hopes that it will get the new me back to the old me.
So how did I find this forum? Ultimately I want to determine the cause of my Low T and treat it. I started doing a lot of research online and a lot of people complaining about Endo after Endo and how hard it is to find a good one, or one who will take you seriously, or this or that. I couldn't find anyone in the area that seemed to specialize in TRT until a few hours ago. Then I found a form post somewhere where someone mentioned propecia use that tanked their T... and I used to take Propecia and remember stopping it because i heard of some nasty side effects, and noticed my libido had been decreasing. I took it for about 5 years probably stopping around 2010-2011. I found some propecia forums and typed in Connecticut and found a few posts about Dr. Hulinksy.... Some Googling later and I found this place and quite a few posts about him and some very good conversations... I'm not sure if my low T is due to propecia, but it do feel it's worth mentioning.
I will be contacting Dr. Hulinky's office Monday morning to schedule the first available appointment. I want to get to the bottom of this yesterday.
