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Life/body recomp cycle.

naturalkon

naturalkon

New Member
Well guys I think I am really beginning to hit rock bottom. 2 weeks ago I ended up in a psych ward after a speed drug induced psychosis. Then I was slamming Roxie's all weekend at my brothers wedding. I haven't hit the gym in almost a week. I hate this feeling coming off opiates. I feel so weak and useless. I guess I'm hoping I may be able to start something on here that not only can I track my progress in the gym. But also my progress getting clean and sober again. I'm driving right now but I wanted to start this thread while I'm thinking about.
 
naturalkon said:
Well guys I think I am really beginning to hit rock bottom. 2 weeks ago I ended up in a psych ward after a speed drug induced psychosis. Then I was slamming Roxie's all weekend at my brothers wedding. I haven't hit the gym in almost a week. I hate this feeling coming off opiates. I feel so weak and useless. I guess I'm hoping I may be able to start something on here that not only can I track my progress in the gym. But also my progress getting clean and sober again. I'm driving right now but I wanted to start this thread while I'm thinking about.
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Sorry to hear this man. How long were you on the roxies? Just this weekend?

As far as the psych ward, better than jail and having to deal with the all the legal shit.. They took me there once after a crazy night on coke and e (bad mix). I was roaming around on the roof of a Ritz Carlton. Bad news..

Get some rest and get back in the gym. Feel free to message me anytime if you need to talk.
 
Keep your chin up brother...things like this can happen and you made a smart move in getting yourself back together. There's nothing a date with Dr. Iron can't fix ;)

Stay strong!
 
johnnyBALLZ said:
Sorry to hear this man. How long were you on the roxies? Just this weekend?

As far as the psych ward, better than jail and having to deal with the all the legal shit.. They took me there once after a crazy night on coke and e (bad mix). I was roaming around on the roof of a Ritz Carlton. Bad news..

Get some rest and get back in the gym. Feel free to message me anytime if you need to talk.
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Yeah I had a bunch of them. It was do a shot. Throw up do another shot. It was my brothers wedding weekend and I embarressed myself around family I hafnt seen for 10 years. So it was only like 4 days. Si it's not like any hard withdrawals. Just lethargic and feel like shit. Between this and my binge of adderall where I took 40 of the 30's in two days. I didn't eat or drink. Just sweat and hallucinate. I look like shit. I can't wait to feel strong again. I hate feeling like a weak little bitch.bi was clean for almost 3 years. I'm ready to get my shit together.
 
Ok so when I left the psychward AMA I started a cycle. Probably not the best thing. Seeing how I worked out for 5 days in a row then ended up hooking up with an old girl friend from college and started the binge. So I have been running stuff for about 10 days. It's pharmacom from frank. Picked it up in a moment of weakness. So it's Tren a. Mast p. Test e and var. hoping it's not bunk. I have some other brands too. Just wanting to see if this stuff is at least half dosed. It may be a day or two before I can hit the gym.
 
naturalkon said:
Yeah I had a bunch of them. It was do a shot. Throw up do another shot. It was my brothers wedding weekend and I embarressed myself around family I hafnt seen for 10 years. So it was only like 4 days. Si it's not like any hard withdrawals. Just lethargic and feel like shit. Between this and my binge of adderall where I took 40 of the 30's in two days. I didn't eat or drink. Just sweat and hallucinate. I look like shit. I can't wait to feel strong again. I hate feeling like a weak little bitch.bi was clean for almost 3 years. I'm ready to get my shit together.
Click to expand...

Damn dude 40 30's in two days??!!:eek: I was always like that, if I had I'm using it. I guess that's why I wasn't any good at selling it. Sounds like you know what you have to do. You'll do just fine. My favorite saying....One day at a time.

I'm subb'd in.

Good Luck....with both
 
Seven Dog said:
Damn dude 40 30's in two days??!!:eek: I was always like that, if I had I'm using it. I guess that's why I wasn't any good at selling it. Sounds like you know what you have to do. You'll do just fine. My favorite saying....One day at a time.

I'm subb'd in.

Good Luck....with both
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Yeah I was so out of it I was interacting with the tv shows I was watching. It was some scary shit. I thought there were cameras in my apartment. I was unscrewing all my light bulbs looking for cameras. Finally my poor parents came and took me too the hospital. I answered the door with a huge knife behind my back. I was terrified. Crazy what we do for fun. Just finished work for the day. Was able to climb up a small tower and install a new electrical system. Thinking maybe a nap and might try to hit the gym tonight. Not sure if there is on in this little hick town I'm staying in for the night. If not I'll try tomorrow.
 
naturalkon said:
Yeah I was so out of it I was interacting with the tv shows I was watching. It was some scary shit. I thought there were cameras in my apartment. I was unscrewing all my light bulbs looking for cameras. Finally my poor parents came and took me too the hospital. I answered the door with a huge knife behind my back. I was terrified. Crazy what we do for fun. Just finished work for the day. Was able to climb up a small tower and install a new electrical system. Thinking maybe a nap and might try to hit the gym tonight. Not sure if there is on in this little hick town I'm staying in for the night. If not I'll try tomorrow.
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Them fucking "shadow people" are some scary MF'ers!! I KNOW they put cameras in several of my apartments, I saw them doing.

If no gym 200 push ups, 100 pull ups, and toss the tv through the window or just OHP a few times.
 
My advice stay the Fuck away from Drugs

And somebody has said this and its 110% true

1 day at a time its a really easy way to go about getting clean, Before you know it you be months then years, Never look back then mate

Also its the people you hang around with are your biggest demons

Let them get on with it, And remember if you chose to be like them, You know the out come crazy fucked up nights hearing voices thinking people are watching you, A grown ass man scared of his own shadow, No good mate

All the best mate, Keep focused smash the riods batter the gym eat like a bitch :)
 
Yeah I have been in and out of the rooms for 15 years. Was sober for almost 3 years this last time. But like what has happened in the past I made pussy my higher power. 2-3 years is as long as I have been able to make it. Done it twice. It's tough starting over again. But time ain't nothing but a number. I have felt more free and grateful in early sobriety than after years sober.
 
Seven Dog said:
Its never your OWN shadow, its THEIR shadow. Big difference. You never been wake for couple weeks?
Click to expand...

I have been worst than that Seven Dog

What I'm trying to say is, There is no shadow its all in your head because of the drugs, At the time when your on a west one as we call it in the UK It does seem very real and can take days weeks to recover

Edit: Once you have hit rock bottom the only way is up, Stay strong be positive change the way you went about your old life start a new one
 
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Well that was probably the weakest workout I have done in a while. But I managed to get through it. Just did a little all around upper body. I warned up on the treadmill and did some weak ass sets and then did about 20 min walking on the tredmill again. They will continue to get better I know it.
 
naturalkon said:
Well that was probably the weakest workout I have done in a while. But I managed to get through it. Just did a little all around upper body. I warned up on the treadmill and did some weak ass sets and then did about 20 min walking on the tredmill again. They will continue to get better I know it.
Click to expand...

Everyday will be better than the last. Keep your head up and keep it moving. Partying is one thing, keeping the sickness off you is another. If you are tempted or are having trouble feeling like yourself, amotivational, weak, tired etc, I would highly reccomend Kratom.. Very mild but enough to give you that energized, strong feeling to get your shit together. I've never had any withdrawal symptoms from Kratom even though I've used it to treat withdrawals, a life saver IMO and cheap.

If you can't draw the line between party and everyday use, you know where to turn for peace. A lot of support in this thread brother. Use it.
 
Alright day 5 of being clean and sober. This is my second workout since my last slip. I was actually able to hit it pretty hard today. The Tren has def started to kick in. The last two nights I sweat like crazy and aggression. Also had an amazing pump today. Starting to feel better so I will begin to get the diet dialed in. Still haven't decided what I'm running mg wise. Once I figure it out I'll get everything up on here and a decent training split.
 
naturalkon said:
no not yet, im in chicago today. I need to look one up. i was i michigan yesterday. And tomorrow or the next day ill be in Milwaukee. I need to hit one up, its more important than hitting the gym honestly.
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Call ahead. You can call the aa local office wherever you are going to be that night and they will tell you where the meetings are. I am fairly certain Chicago has 24 hour meeting halls- as well as Milwaukee. I know you know gear didn't keep you sober and neither did the gym brother- it's those uncomfortable chairs and those people who just seem to know the fucked up shit you are thinking and love you for it. You will feel a thousand times better the minute you walk in- a whole hour where you don't have to fight it.
 
Ok so I think I have my cycle dialed in. Gonna see how it goes. I'm kinda basing it off of it being kinda underdosed. Pinning Ed
75mg Tren a Ed
75mg mast p Ed
150 test e m/w/f
50 mg test p Ed
Been taking like 50 mgs of var Ed
1/2 adex eod
I still have half a kit of seros I wanna start but I need to get some more before I do.

Just got to the gym. Gonna hit back then considering a Chicago deep dish pizza post workout.

Also did some research and found a meeting for tonight. Thanks to everyone that has offered support.
 
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