Introduction

mdhx3

Banned
Thank you for acceptance into this forum.
I am 6'1", 236lbs, 42yrs.
Married, 4 children, not having any more.
I am employed as a mid-level medical provider for 16 years; so I have a good knowledge base of pharmacology, anatomy, and physiology.
Medical problems include only familial hypertension that is well controlled by lisinopril.
I do not have body fat percentage numbers; but I know it is higher than I am happy with. My fat accumulates at my waistline and, just this year, in my axillary areas.
I currently do a high protein/low carb ketogenic diet with 1gm protein/kg body weight; but even that is failing at preventing adipose gain for the last 3 years.
I have never done any form of performance enhancing or recreational drug, with the exception of alcohol.
Since age 39, I have noticed a considerable decline in most all of the things about myself in which I used to take pride. I have began to accumulate fat in areas that I once did not, my libido is abysmal, and my overall sense of well-being and energy is nearly depleted.
I do lift 3 days a week (no 1 rep max-lifts or heavy upper body lifts because of a labrum tear that is not yet fixed). I do 45 min cardio 3x weekly at my target heart rate; so aerobic 3x/week and anaerobic 3x/week. All of this exercise is just to keep me from becoming one of the patients I treat.
I have great endurance when involved; but energy to get going is not there.

I have never joined a forum or reached out for any advice beyond conventional medicine; but I am now at that point.
I have sought assistance from my healthcare provider in the form of TRT. My serum T is 308; and insurance will not assist with medication cost for serum T less than 270. So I have made the decision to prescribe for myself through UGL supplies. I have a reliable source for AAS; and pharmacy supplied PCT medicines. I actually bought the pct medications 6 months ago; but have thought and prayed since that time about entering into an illicit therapy program. I have decided to proceed with this.
The long story short is:
I feel like a shell of the virile man I once was. I feel apathetic at most topics, including the things I loved less than 5 years ago. Sex really doesn't intrigue me (and my wife is smoking HOT); and I am ashamed to take my shirt off when I take my kids to the beach.
So I joined here to ask for some real-world advice:
I have an amount of money set aside (but not limitless) and budgeted for gear to assist me on my journey. I have read countless cycle recipes and pct recipes; and I am fully aware of the potential risks of these endeavors.
My questions to those of you with experience or who may have similar stories are:
1) Is serum T 308 (medically within normal limits) a reasonable number for the causation of some of my symptoms?
2) I have no desire to be a competing body builder; but is it reasonable for me to expect some visible and palpable gains in physique by cycling mild doses of AAS?
3) Should I just accept TRT at this point, dose myself through UGL, and "blast" occasionally?
4) Would there be any benefit to use of HGH prior to or during my AAS use to assist in reversing the proportions of body fat? The HGH is super expensive in relation to AAS; but I will gladly spend the money now to assist my recomposition before the introduction of testosterone.

Please note that I am fully aware of the potential consequences of my decisions; and I possess the maturity, intellectual stamina, and intestinal fortitude to see this through. I am hoping to hear that there is at least one other man who benefited from a plan like mine.

I am not in great need of supply sources or really any dosage help because I have done more research for this than for my PhD dissertation; so I have supply contacts and TRT vs cycle/pct plans. What I really need is some confidence and advice that spending my money and time in pursuing a better state of being through chemistry is likely to be fruitful.

The HGH question is the thing I am most on the fence about. I can't just spend all that money without hearing from a real person that it may work in my favor.

Again, thank you for adding me to this group; and thank you for taking the time to read this.
 
I forgot some things:
I currently take the antidepressant bupropion. I was not diagnosed with clinical depression by my survey score; but I got my physician to prescribe it in 2014, at my request, in an attempt to elevate my energy level and sense of satisfaction. It has not helped at all; but I take it still.
I took some of the Clomid I purchased this year for 13 days in an attempt to evaluate any possible "noticeable" rise in my testosterone. I felt no different. I did not get a repeat T level; but no number would have made a difference in the way I felt.
I have normal thyroid function, and a completely normal CMP and CBC, actually much better than I expected.
My lipid profile is excellent.
I got an echocardiagram this year (after begging); and my heart is in great shape (EF 68%).
I just want to prevent and/or avoid any comments about not knowing my health status or not taking this seriously.
Seeking this route and asking for advice here is an educated and well thought decision.
Thanks again.
 
I am employed as a mid-level medical provider for 16 years;
First off Welcome!!

Secondly, please everyone make note that this gentleman is an actual medical provider and could contribute greatly to our community.

It sounds as though you have absolutely done your research and are "qualified" to dive into this venture.

To directly answer your question, yes. In my opinion you are making the correct decisions to improve your quality of life and you are doing so in the best possible way without direct supervision from a trt doctor.
 
Thank you much.
Finally getting up the nerve to reach out has actually taken a great deal of stress off of me. I have been contemplating it for some time.
I live in a very rural area now and ,while my wife (also a practitioner) is on board with my ideas; there is nothing like being able to discuss these things with other guys......especially other guys that have been doing what I intend.
Taking anything other than prescription medications has been a very taboo subject in my family since I was a child. Multiple family members with substance abuse problems gave me a bad taste for anything outside conventional medicine. As a result of all this, I missed my "window" to experiment in my college years; and have had a professional license to worry about since graduation.
So it is a relief to be off of this "island" I have been on for a few years.
 
I can totally understand where you're coming from. I feel like given your background, you "know" your decision is right and you're being responsible, you just need a little confirmation from guys who have already taken that path.

I'm also right there with you. No drugs that done make me bigger, faster, stronger..... Or harder! Lol
 
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