2 year lurker — fresh off substance abuse

[2ndchancesNK]

Hi everyone,

I have been lurking around the forums for a little more than two years now. I started AAS back in June of 2023 and ran a few cycles — test, test/primo, and test/mast most recently. I got up to 245lbs at 12-14ish bf% @ 6’2” and had built a pretty decent physique. I learned so much on this forum and remember buying my first few bottles of test from Rido (looks like he disappeared?) for a 400mg test cycle. He was reselling GL and Cat’s gear and with a solid diet it put on some serious size.

Anyways, recently I went through a rough break up from a long term relationship where I made the wrong decision to abuse alcohol. So many things happened and it made coping tough. This got me a one way ticket to the ICU, but a second chance at life. I miraculously bounced back and have plenty to be thankful for — making it through alcohol withdrawal is one of them. I endorse that it is the worst thing anyone can do to their body. Fortunately I’m now a few weeks sober and life is already improving.

I have a lot to share on this forum and look forward to learning more. I hope to contribute as best as I can! My recent life experiences have changed my outlook on life and are motivating me to get in the best shape of my life after losing nearly 20lbs I worked hard for. Addiction is an uphill battle, but one I know I can conquer. Hopefully I can support others who are facing it as well.

Any questions, just let me know.

 

[Bandern]

Congrats on making the decision to turn your life around and welcome to meso. You are not alone! I started working out in rehab 2 and a half years ago and haven’t looked back

 

[2ndchancesNK]

Thanks brother! Congrats on getting clean — I’m realizing it’s one hell of a journey. I’m just trying to look forward to the future. I can’t believe how quickly I spiraled. Always was a social drinker, but I knew deep down full blown addiction was plausible, I just denied it and until a series of events pushed me into it.

 

[CharlesV]

congrats on making changes for the better. you’ll find a lot of folks in this space with previous alcohol and drug and drug abuse issues. hopefully you can leave all that in the review mirror and nothing but body optimization in the road ahead.

 

[2ndchancesNK]

congrats on making changes for the better. you’ll find a lot of folks in this space with previous alcohol and drug and drug abuse issues. hopefully you can leave all that in the review mirror and nothing but body optimization in the road ahead.

Thank you for the support brother!

Been back in the gym the last 3 days. Just running a PPL split and getting in there as soon as I recover — strength is down quite a bit of course. Was surprised I was able to hit 330 for 10 on ssb squats today after not training legs at all for 7 weeks. I was at 425 for 8 prior to the alcoholic episode, but also a good 15-20lbs heavier than I am now. Going to keep inching away on my main lifts and looking forward to the progress.

Just running 175mg Test C e/w, but will consider a cycle once all bloodwork confirms I’m back to baseline. Thinking 175mg and muscle memory will do the trick for awhile.

 

[CharlesV]

Thinking 175mg and muscle memory will do the trick for awhile.

indeed. you know the drill. time, effort and consistency and you’ll be right back in it.

 

[Oldhand]

Be proud of yourself, you are strong for standing back up.

The health and fitness lifestyle has helped so many of us out of a hole. Stick with it! By staying dedicated to lifting, you automatically gain structure in your life such as:

Consistent sleeping schedule and eating schedule. Eating healthy also makes you less likely to put any garbage (booze/drugs) into your system. Lifting and running also gives you a dopamine release so you don’t have to get it from a substance. So much more but I know you can think of your own reasons.

You got this.

 

[RaddishPork]

From one sober person to another welcome back and congrats. Best decision I ever made was to quit drinking and abusing narcotics. Just hit 4 years this month.

I'm not sure what your long term plans are but I'd personally recommend getting a good sober lifestyle and lifting routine in place before you hop on a cycle. Learn to fully cope and handle life on life's terms before you start chasing the dragon again. I've fumbled some really good stretches of sobriety (years at a time) because I was too focused on other stuff like dating, lifting, etc.

Do the therapy. Do the IOP. Do whatever makes life more enjoyable while sober. You'll always have time for another cycle. We don't always get a second or third chance at life though. AAS are a really good cross addiction but can definitely still be an addiction. I've got buddies who will get sober, go retarded on a massive cycle of tren, then relapse a month later and act like they don't know why it keeps happening to them.

Best of luck to you bro. Just remember there's nothing wrong with falling down as long as you get back up. And it's okay to make mistakes, just don't make the same mistake twice.

 

[Gonz0]

Congrats on the sobriety brother, new member as well , 6 years sober from opiates and benzos. I found when I got clean I relied heavily on alcohol because it wasn’t sticking a needle in my arm , bodybuilding got rid of that itch because drinking and gains don’t go well together !

 

[2ndchancesNK]

Be proud of yourself, you are strong for standing back up.

The health and fitness lifestyle has helped so many of us out of a hole. Stick with it! By staying dedicated to lifting, you automatically gain structure in your life such as:

Consistent sleeping schedule and eating schedule. Eating healthy also makes you less likely to put any garbage (booze/drugs) into your system. Lifting and running also gives you a dopamine release so you don’t have to get it from a substance. So much more but I know you can think of your own reasons.

You got this.

Thanks! I think I’m starting to catch some momentum and get in a rhythm. If I know one thing, it’s that I can’t go back. I’ve put my family and my own body through enough.

Appreciate the support man!

 

[2ndchancesNK]

From one sober person to another welcome back and congrats. Best decision I ever made was to quit drinking and abusing narcotics. Just hit 4 years this month.

I'm not sure what your long term plans are but I'd personally recommend getting a good sober lifestyle and lifting routine in place before you hop on a cycle. Learn to fully cope and handle life on life's terms before you start chasing the dragon again. I've fumbled some really good stretches of sobriety (years at a time) because I was too focused on other stuff like dating, lifting, etc.

Do the therapy. Do the IOP. Do whatever makes life more enjoyable while sober. You'll always have time for another cycle. We don't always get a second or third chance at life though. AAS are a really good cross addiction but can definitely still be an addiction. I've got buddies who will get sober, go retarded on a massive cycle of tren, then relapse a month later and act like they don't know why it keeps happening to them.

Best of luck to you bro. Just remember there's nothing wrong with falling down as long as you get back up. And it's okay to make mistakes, just don't make the same mistake twice.

Thanks man, just looking forward to the future. I know I have some serious work to do. Just the thought of how much I was drinking, and the place it led me to, makes me nauseous. It truly was rock bottom — no way I could have went lower. I know after awhile that feeling will go away, and I need to constantly remind myself I can’t handle my drinking and it has done nothing but invite problems. Can’t go back.

You’re 100% right. I know I need to be in the right place before I hop back on anything. We will cross that path once I have some better structure. The good thing is, 14 years in the gym has taught me the basics of nutrition and programming, and I’m getting started back in the right direction.

I wrote down your last paragraph — it’s inspiring and a good reminder to take this second chance and run with it. I can’t change what happened, BUT I can make a plan moving forward. Definitely not to say I won’t be reflecting and keeping myself in check.

Thanks again, man.

 

[2ndchancesNK]

Congrats on the sobriety brother, new member as well , 6 years sober from opiates and benzos. I found when I got clean I relied heavily on alcohol because it wasn’t sticking a needle in my arm , bodybuilding got rid of that itch because drinking and gains don’t go well together !

Congrats to you too man! That’s a tough hill to climb. I’ve watched Opiates and Benzos ruin the lives of family members and friends. It’s scary. Glad you’re doing better and hope to be there with you soon!

 

[Tdeck81]

Welcome and keep coming back