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My balls and I have a physiological and almost psychic connection. They would tell me if they were unhappy. Yours don't do that? I thought everyone's worked that way
actually I believe your supposed to dip your balls in a water glass and see how much water you displace. from there you can do a simple ml>mg conversion multiply by 2 to arrive at your testicle weight. the same principle also works with your head (use a bucket tho)