Anyone else have a distant relationship with their family?

[Demondosage]

Anyone else get sick and tired of a fucked up relationship and lack of communication with their parents/siblings , but then feel like getting together on a holiday is some sort of bullshit formality rather than actually wanting to be around family?

My youngest brother, dude hasn't been available, answered any calls or texts from me since 4th of July. But I'm supposed to sit down at a dinner like everything is fine? Parents act like idiots and constantly use Covid as an excuse not to be around family, talk about 6' distancing all the time and basically invite me to their house but make it clear they don't want too many ppl over there (specifically speaking my wife and son) while they've gone out of town and even into a Covid hotbed to visit my other brother, no distancing for that bullshit! But it's the easy and bullshit excuse anytime they don't want to do something.

So this year I basically said fuck it all. Have a good thanksgiving, I'll stay away. I'm not going to stop by when none of you jackasses seem to give a fuck any other day of the year. Family is more than sharing the same name. You don't want to treat family like family then I could give 2 shits!! Don't even know whether to shake my parents hands or give them a hug when we get together anymore.

Not like I woke up one day and said screw my relationship with my family. But the way you get past bad shit is you move forward and do things as a family again, not come up with all these stupid fucking rules! You don't call to give someone shit rather than ask them anything abt life or act truly interested in what your son is doing. Who the fuck invites their son over but he is discouraged from bringing his wife and their grandchild with him? And nobody did jack shit to them, they sit around watching the fucking news all day and are getting retarded abt everything. 2 of the most miserable ppl I know are my parents.

I'm done with trying to figure out the gray area bullshit, either you want a relationship with your family or you don't. Making stupid rules about how they can come over but not their spouse and son is not a good tactic to have a smooth relationship together. So basically I'm over it all. Treat me like shit all year and then you want me to come over to be with "family"? You idiots don't know the first thing abt family! Does anyone else have a screwed up relationship with their parents/siblings?

And I know, everyone is gonna say to go over there and see them, but what the hell is the point when your own damn family is absent from your life until the formality of a bullshit holiday rolls around? And even at that, they can't just be fucking normal for 1 day? Nope, "he can stop by but we don't want our daughter in law and grandson because we are scared little bitches and don't wanna get sick"

 

[Uncle Ted]

You have it easy compared to me.

I went 15 years without seeing any of my family after I graduated from college.

My family makes me feel like shit, they played head games with me when I was younger, dumping heavy emotional stuff on a kid that didn't have a clear understanding why or what they were doing. I was raised to be resented, something they could take their problems out on.

Nonstop insults, constant picking, suggestions I never ask for. Passive aggressive bullshit.

And then there's the brat kids my siblings have, spoiled rich kids, that have everything handed to them, even though we didn't have shit growing up, these kids come up to me with their hands out wanting money of which I never give.

I'm a private person in real life. I don't ask people questions about their life or anyone's life. As soon as someone asks me something personal I get pissed because what do they need to know.

So this is life and this will be my life tomorrow and for the next few days until my family leaves, it will be miserable, I will drive off and try to disappear most of the day, seeing them in the morning and late at night spending as little time with them as possible.

I personally think when a boy becomes a man he should shake his parents hands and never see them again. If this was the custom it would allow a man to find his true path in life, always moving forward until he realizes his true self, instead of having to look back in the mirror from the disaster he came.

 

[Sp2.0]

If anyone disrespected my wife I'd cut them out of my life instantly.

 

[Demondosage]

If anyone disrespected my wife I'd cut them out of my life instantly.

Not that they disrespect her directly, I just take it as disrespect when they act this way. Fucked up part is my mother calls her almost daily, yet when it comes to this shit is fucked up. Like I said, I stopped trying to figure them out. I think they're clinically depressed and can't handle being around ppl, even their own family. Regardless, not my job to fix them and I'm a realist, ppl get set in their ways and I don't expect to change 2 ppl in their late 60's

 

[Slicknyc]

I know this is an old thread but this shit really hits home for me. I have ZERO relationship with my family ( mostly parents) and to be honest it’s just sad and depresses me. I see other people who have great relationships with their parents and I guess I wish I had that. I cut them out of my life for good 2 years ago and now I start thinking about what am I going to do when they die. I don’t even want to attend the funeral. Sounds crazy and everyone in my community thinks I’m just mentally i the mentally ill son who is isolated from his family. Thing is- when family treats you a certain way- sometimes you need to face the sad reality that they don’t give a shit about you.

 

[enigma34]

My situation is, My family misses me and wishes I was around more. They love when they see me or talk on phone. But I'm to warped up is bodybuilding. And don't want to fall out of routine, or have something effect when and what my next meal will be, sleep, or relaxing time . that something being friends and family .

This is something I want to work on changing .. I'll turn down hanging out, traveling, whatever just so I don't fallout of my weekly routine.

Most the time my family will just message my gf to find out how things are going. Because I don't always get back to their messages . lucky to have a gf that .y family loves, and who also has a great relationship with thier own family. If you ever dated a girl that had family issues it can make your relationship suffer .

 

[Slicknyc]

My situation is, My family misses me and wishes I was around more. They love when they see me or talk on phone. But I'm to warped up is bodybuilding. And don't want to fall out of routine, or have something effect when and what my next meal will be, sleep, or relaxing time . that something being friends and family .

This is something I want to work on changing .. I'll turn down hanging out, traveling, whatever just so I don't fallout of my weekly routine.

Most the time my family will just message my gf to find out how things are going. Because I don't always get back to their messages . lucky to have a gf that .y family loves, and who also has a great relationship with thier own family. If you ever dated a girl that had family issues it can make your relationship suffer .

Are you a professional bber? You’re lucky to have a family that loves you And misses you. And to have an amazing gf. More important things in life than bodybuilding. I’ve never competed but I’ve been on very strict diets and training regimens where I didn’t enjoy my life to the fullest and I can’t have that time back. Unless you are making money from this- there is no need to be extreme. You can have a great physique and still balance other aspects of your life.

 

[enigma34]

Are you a professional bber? You’re lucky to have a family that loves you And misses you. And to have an amazing gf. More important things in life than bodybuilding. I’ve never competed but I’ve been on very strict diets and training regimens where I didn’t enjoy my life to the fullest and I can’t have that time back. Unless you are making money from this- there is no need to be extreme. You can have a great physique and still balance other aspects of your life.

No and no. Nore even an affiliate code for a supplement brand or IG following. I just live like my idols did in the past. Minus the fame and money . Like Jay cutler, Lee priest, and Ronnie. I agree and need to figure something out to enjoy life/activities with others, that's outside the gym, and doesn't involve food.

 

[Demondosage]

No and no. Nore even an affiliate code for a supplement brand or IG following. I just live like my idols did in the past. Minus the fame and money . Like Jay cutler, Lee priest, and Ronnie. I agree and need to figure something out to enjoy life/activities with others, that's outside the gym, and doesn't involve food.

Ain't worth missing out with family once in awhile for a diet or gym routine. I bet if you planned cheat meals out on days with family you would still get great results and find yourself not caving in anymore than you would otherwise. We can't get tine back, get your head on right man, before you regret something

 

[jJjburton]

No and no. Nore even an affiliate code for a supplement brand or IG following. I just live like my idols did in the past. Minus the fame and money . Like Jay cutler, Lee priest, and Ronnie. I agree and need to figure something out to enjoy life/activities with others, that's outside the gym, and doesn't involve food.

I am interested how seeing family would mess up anything? Unless its private, then nevermind.

but seeing them for an hour would mess it up?

i think seeing family helps if its posdible and they live close and you like them. For me they live close and i just do active things with them, instead if sitting. We do yoga together, or bike rides or long walks up hills. Kit flying, things to ease stress. Etc.
Then eat grilled chicken together or cheeseburgers.

can you plan healthy and active things to do with them?

 

[Whopperflopper]

I'm the oldest of six. The black sheep of the family. I live by my own code and it runs the rest the wrong way. I hated being the one everyone looked up to. I played that game as long as I could, then just became who I am.
On a positive note, we did all get together last Christmas, after Moms passing, and nobody called the cops.

 

[enigma34]

I am interested how seeing family would mess up anything? Unless its private, then nevermind.

but seeing them for an hour would mess it up?

i think seeing family helps if its posdible and they live close and you like them. For me they live close and i just do active things with them, instead if sitting. We do yoga together, or bike rides or long walks up hills. Kit flying, things to ease stress. Etc.
Then eat grilled chicken together or cheeseburgers.

can you plan healthy and active things to do with them?

I work till 12am at night weekdays. So weekdays is gym then work. That leaves 2 days of free time. Saturday and Sunday. Those days are spent with gym in AM, grocery pickup, phone time, maybe nap. And Sunday is cooking for the week day, clean house, laundry, NFL during season, gf time because we work two separate scaduales etc.. And repeat. Family is only a 40min drive if I wanted to visit. But my weekly work cumute is 40min one way. So I'm tired of driving anymore than I have to in a week.

Side note: for me, these days it takes a lot of mental strength just to leave the house. Work BS was already a thing before covid came around. Now more bs. My bb routine as a whole helps my life manage .

 

[jJjburton]

well keep up the good work!

 

[Snakum]

I'm a North Carolina hillbilly and fucked my first cousin. Izzat whatchu mean?