esco
New Member
i posted this before, but hey it's worth posting it again!
> > > >Finally, the guys' side of the story.
> > > >(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >We always hear "the rules"
> > > >from the female side.
> > > >Now here are the rules from the male side.
> > > >These are our rules!
> > > >Please note... these are all numbered "1"
> > > >ON PURPOSE!
> > > >
> > > >1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> > > >You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> > > >We need it up, you need it down.
> > > >You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
> > > >
> > > >1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
> > > >or the changing of the tides.
> > > >Let it be.
> > > >
> > > >1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
> > > >And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
> > > >
> > > >1. Crying is blackmail.
> > > >
> > > >1. Ask for what you want.
> > > >Let us be clear on this one:
> > > >Subtle hints do not work!
> > > >Strong hints do not work!
> > > >Obvious hints do not work!
> > > >Just say it!
> > > >
> > > >1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> > question.
> > > >
> > > >1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
> > > >That's what we do.
> > > >Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> > > >
> > > >1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
> > > >In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
> > > >
> > > >1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> > > >Don't ask us.
> > > >
> > > >1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
> > > >and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
> > > >we meant the other one.
> > > >
> > > >1. You can either ask us to do something
> > > >or tell us how you want it done.
> > > >Not both.
> > > >If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
> > > >
> > > >1. Whenever possible,
> > > >please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
> > > >
> > > >1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
> > > >
> > > >1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> > > >Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
> > > >We have no idea what mauve is.
> > > >
> > > >1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
> > > >We do that.
> > > >
> > > >1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
> > > >we will act like nothing's wrong.
> > > >We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
> > > >
> > > >1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
> > > >expect an answer you don't want to hear.
> > > >
> > > >1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
> > > >is fine...Really.
> > > >
> > > >1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
> > > >prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
>or
> > > >monster trucks.
> > > >
> > > >1. You have enough clothes.
> > > >
> > > >1. You have too many shoes.
> > > >
> > > >1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
> > > >
> > > >1. Thank you for reading this.
> > > >Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
> > > >but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
> > > >Finally, the guys' side of the story.
> > > >(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >We always hear "the rules"
> > > >from the female side.
> > > >Now here are the rules from the male side.
> > > >These are our rules!
> > > >Please note... these are all numbered "1"
> > > >ON PURPOSE!
> > > >
> > > >1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
> > > >You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
> > > >We need it up, you need it down.
> > > >You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
> > > >
> > > >1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
> > > >or the changing of the tides.
> > > >Let it be.
> > > >
> > > >1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
> > > >And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
> > > >
> > > >1. Crying is blackmail.
> > > >
> > > >1. Ask for what you want.
> > > >Let us be clear on this one:
> > > >Subtle hints do not work!
> > > >Strong hints do not work!
> > > >Obvious hints do not work!
> > > >Just say it!
> > > >
> > > >1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> > question.
> > > >
> > > >1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
> > > >That's what we do.
> > > >Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> > > >
> > > >1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
> > > >In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
> > > >
> > > >1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> > > >Don't ask us.
> > > >
> > > >1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
> > > >and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
> > > >we meant the other one.
> > > >
> > > >1. You can either ask us to do something
> > > >or tell us how you want it done.
> > > >Not both.
> > > >If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
> > > >
> > > >1. Whenever possible,
> > > >please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
> > > >
> > > >1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
> > > >
> > > >1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> > > >Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
> > > >We have no idea what mauve is.
> > > >
> > > >1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
> > > >We do that.
> > > >
> > > >1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
> > > >we will act like nothing's wrong.
> > > >We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
> > > >
> > > >1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
> > > >expect an answer you don't want to hear.
> > > >
> > > >1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
> > > >is fine...Really.
> > > >
> > > >1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
> > > >prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
>or
> > > >monster trucks.
> > > >
> > > >1. You have enough clothes.
> > > >
> > > >1. You have too many shoes.
> > > >
> > > >1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
> > > >
> > > >1. Thank you for reading this.
> > > >Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
> > > >but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
