Best Way to Deal with an Ex?

[sealclubber]

Sup guys... I've been lurking on the board for a while, and I like the way that everyone here gets along... it's like a frathouse, or a crazy camraderie. I dig it.

Anyways, I wanted to see what you guys had for advice on this: My girl and I had been together for 2 years, and we recently broke up. I wanted to get back together, like we usually did... but she gave me the "I want to be friends for a while" schtick.

I still care for her alot... but I've decided that cutting off all contact with her is the best way to go. She recently started calling me again... late at night. 12am, 1am. Last time I talked to her was in our last class together... she says "I called you on such and such a day," and she asks me if I remember what day that was. I have no fucking clue what she's talking about. "That was the first day we ever had sex," she says. It's like she's saying shit like this to mess with my head, or she genuinely misses me, I don't know.

So anyone been through this before that can give me a heads up? I've been moving ahead, meeting new chicks... but I still find myself thinking about her. My 21st is coming up, and I'm pretty sure she'll call me. How should I deal with this shit?

 

[esco]

bro your young ... iwould move on ... i think after you stopped calling she called you so she could be in your head because she didn't want you to move on or try and keep you around ... no furture in the past, only memories. i would say cuold be friend with priveleges but i think in your case probably only add to the confusion.

 

[thick]

i agree with esco. she is an immature manipulating bitch. She is using head games to fuck with your life. When you acted like you are done with her she wants you back. when u want her than she just wants to be friends. How much clearer does it need to be? She is an emotional wreck that needs kicked into the arms of some unsuspecting lush of a man. Than you can work on finding a good woman once you get a little older and wiser

 

[sweettart29]

Sup guys... I've been lurking on the board for a while, and I like the way that everyone here gets along... it's like a frathouse, or a crazy camraderie. I dig it.

Anyways, I wanted to see what you guys had for advice on this: My girl and I had been together for 2 years, and we recently broke up. I wanted to get back together, like we usually did... but she gave me the "I want to be friends for a while" schtick.

I still care for her alot... but I've decided that cutting off all contact with her is the best way to go. She recently started calling me again... late at night. 12am, 1am. Last time I talked to her was in our last class together... she says "I called you on such and such a day," and she asks me if I remember what day that was. I have no fucking clue what she's talking about. "That was the first day we ever had sex," she says. It's like she's saying shit like this to mess with my head, or she genuinely misses me, I don't know.

So anyone been through this before that can give me a heads up? I've been moving ahead, meeting new chicks... but I still find myself thinking about her. My 21st is coming up, and I'm pretty sure she'll call me. How should I deal with this shit?

Okay I am a chic and I have to say this....KICK HER ASS TO THE CURB!!!

I'm sorry you r going 2 b 21 your life is way to short to sit there and worry about her head games...This whole I want to b friends thing is her way of saying I am gonna go out and screw but I don't want u to....PLZ go out enjoy life and forget her!!!!

sorry my day to vent lol

 

[sealclubber]

Yah... thanks for the advice all. I guess it's still hard to see clearly because of the emotional attachment. It's hard to imagine that she would just fuck with me... because we've been through a lot together. Lots of things remind me about her, so it's tougher than I thought to move on. Lots of good memories, but I guess I can just say that I lived through them and they can't be taken away.

She wanted a promise ring from me, and when I bought her a ring for her birthday... her mom kept asking me if that ring meant anything special. I would just kind of laugh it off, not thinking they were serious.

She said I didn't make her a big enough priority. I told her that as long as you let me fit the gym into my schedule after I'm done working, then I'm happy. It was like I had to be with her 24 hours a day!

Alright... haha, there's my venting now. I guess she is only playing mind games... but I guess the fact that she is calling me shows that she misses me or is thinking about me, and that's better than nothing. She invited me to go to her little brother's baseball game with her most recently... I had to politely decline.

 

[sweettart29]

Yah... thanks for the advice all. I guess it's still hard to see clearly because of the emotional attachment. It's hard to imagine that she would just fuck with me... because we've been through a lot together. Lots of things remind me about her, so it's tougher than I thought to move on. Lots of good memories, but I guess I can just say that I lived through them and they can't be taken away.

She wanted a promise ring from me, and when I bought her a ring for her birthday... her mom kept asking me if that ring meant anything special. I would just kind of laugh it off, not thinking they were serious.

She said I didn't make her a big enough priority. I told her that as long as you let me fit the gym into my schedule after I'm done working, then I'm happy. It was like I had to be with her 24 hours a day!

Alright... haha, there's my venting now. I guess she is only playing mind games... but I guess the fact that she is calling me shows that she misses me or is thinking about me, and that's better than nothing. She invited me to go to her little brother's baseball game with her most recently... I had to politely decline.

Okay I am done venting....Those memories will b with u for a long long time....And when u r 40 and u run into her those memories are going to come back and your gonna get that grin on your face and say shit that was good while it lasted....U have to pick your butt off dust it off and move on....Who knows maybe some day down the road u two will get back together when u r older and have done the things in life that u want to do....Enjoy it while u can....And b thankful it was just a promise ring and nothing else....

 

[killiob]

I know how you are feeling bro, I have been with my ex for four years now, we just recently called it quits and i moved out. We have a child together so it is very hard to let go, we still talk all the time and do stuff we each other all the time. She tells me that she doesn't want to be with me anymore but then she kind keeps me dragging along so I won't move on, and i haven't. Now i am getting really lonely and she is still just dragging me along and won't totally let me go. I don't know what to do either, but hopefully i will figure it out someday, or unless she moves on. I guess the smart thing to do is just move on. The saying says, let it go and if it comes back to you then it was truly yours, and if it doesn't it wasn't ever yours in the first place. I think that is how it goes, who knows.


killiob

 

[sealclubber]

Yeah, tough to let go of the memories and of her because you think it can go back to the way it was... but even if I did get her back now, it wouldn't feel the same... because of the shit she is pulling now.

Oh well, thanks for the advice all.

 

[pumppumppuk]

you need to go get laid by another chick as soon as possible...even if shes ugly, but dont do a fat chick (they fall in love too easy)

best way to get some girl off your mind is to get another chick on your rod.




PPP

 

[milesfan]

you need to go get laid by another chick as soon as possible...even if shes ugly, but dont do a fat chick (they fall in love too easy)

best way to get some girl off your mind is to get another chick on your rod.




PPP

Thats sounds harsh but its true. Best way to let go of one is to grab on to another.

 

[borderbound]

well young buck here is a thought from an old-schooler

lifes best relationships dont need to be lifes longest ones

enjoy the memories

go make some new ones

if it was a perfect match
neither one of you would need head games

 

[Manuel_Hung]

Get use to big guy.....I am 36 and women will still try and manipulate you....its in thier fucking genes....I think they will discover it with the genome project

 

[lexus]

the best way is cut off all contact and do what it takes to move on... it is never easy but you have to stay strong and dont talk to here,, find a chick to pass the time...

 

[graybass]

Yo, New fresh Hot Pussy!!! Yeah, yeah!!!
Fuck that bitch move on your too young, It's all pink on the inside!

Sorry had to vent, you have all the time in the world....

 

[sealclubber]

Yeah, I've been meeting new chicks like I said... I've got a date with a hot older chick tomorrow night actually. I told myself I def. wouldn't get into the mindset where I would be waiting around for her. That would be out of the question.

But Exosist, you are right when you say she doesn't have a relationship with her father. Her mother and father were divorced when she was younger. You say I should be friends with her and I will get her back... but that is like being her bitch.

I was always of the opinion that women don't respect men that act like their stepping stones. Women have to respect you before they love you. So what are you saying...? I already put the ball in her court... after we broke up, I brought her a rose and told her I wanted it to end on good terms. She said some stupid shit to me when we were in the process of breaking up... I don't want to just go running back to her and make her think that what she did and said is alright.

So what do I do when she calls me...? Do I ask her if she wants to hang out... act like her friend in that way? Is that what you mean? Elaborate for me.

 

[sealclubber]

Been a little less than a month since I've seen her... been at least a few weeks since I've spoken to her. I don't know the exact time, can't remember the exact day she started calling me again... but she also IMed me a few days ago like I said.

So I don't know about your advice, Exosist.

I don't think getting back together with her right now would be the smartest thing... or even the best thing. But I do still care for her, would hate to lose her from my life completely. It's like I lost a good friend as well, ya know what I'm saying? Someone I knew everything about, could chill with, listen to, shoot the shit with, etc.

But if you're saying being friends with her now gives me a chance of reconciliation in the future... then maybe that's cool. She's a cool girl, but I am enjoying my freedom now, and she has it too... but maybe I can still be close with her.

 

[ハカク]

She recently started calling me again

mine did too recently (she’s been blocked btw) she even called me babe, even though i told her before that it was over.

i think after you stopped calling she called you so she could be in your head because she didn't want you to move on or try and keep you around

this is the vibe i got when my ex called.

it wouldn't feel the same... because of the shit she is pulling now.

the last thing my ex pulled (basically the thing that made me call it quits) was super sketchy and weird, so i can relate.

 

[All Nats McGee]

How funny would it be if the op replied after 18 years haha

 

[malfeasance]

How funny would it be if the op replied after 18 years haha

That kid is middle aged now.

The girl that was messing with him is middle aged, fat, divorced, with a bunch of misbehaving teenage kids.

 

[barbell001]

That kid is middle aged now.

The girl that was messing with him is middle aged, fat, divorced, with a bunch of misbehaving teenage kids.

LMAO How time moves on eh? When this was put up I was having the time of my life as a 24 year old guy. However I was also just about to meet a young chick who went on to totally destroy me for years after, or so it felt like at the time. You end up taking all of this so personally when you are younger and wonder why it could only happen to you - now with older shoulders on you just sit and laugh about it and think 'Yeah been there, done that, got fucked around and manipulated, got and wore the damn T-shirt out and now laugh about it all and couldn't care less.