Dumb Shit I Do To Myself When I Deadlift

[fike]

I'm honestly not even sure where I should be posting this, but here it goes. I was deadlifting a few days ago and I was going for my PR at the weight I am now, around 182 lbs. I'm warmed up just enough to keep from getting injured and I have two pulls out of the way. Now it's time to go for my straight bar deadlift PR. I load that bitch up to 550 lbs and step up to the bar with the confidence of John Haack. I take a deep breath all the way into my belly and brace my core as I get into position. I push the floor away with everything I have, slowly, but steadily raising the bar past my shins, then past my knees, and then I struggled to get a lock on it, but I finally got a successful pull on it.

When I locked out, all I could see is block spots darting across my visual plane. I lowered the bar quickly and immediately went to my knees and then to my side where shit just went black for what I assume was a few seconds. That was a hell of a few seconds, though. As I came too I felt something wet in my shorts. "I pissed myself" is what I was thinking, but then the smell hit me right along with the terror of realizing I had just shit in my favorite pair of lifting shorts. By the grace of God I was not in a public gym this day; I was at home in the comfort of my own pain cave. I've never experienced this before and was pretty amused at myself and the whole situation. It was very memorable. I hit my deadlift PR while simultaneously passing out and shitting myself.

So, have any of you men among men (or women among men) ever had anything crazy happen to you when lifting that makes you just want to crawl under a bench and seek shelter while you figure out how you're going to tell your spouse her 35 year old husband just shit his britches?

 

[poff1]

similar thing has happened to me over and over, once in a circumstance due to shock, and in other cases due to exercise (and especially deadlifting).
However in my case I've never seen dark spots, but transparent ones (floaters) or bright spots (flashes)... they are due to the change in blood pressure inside the eye capillars. Idk if dark spots are the same but i did only get floaters till 4 or 5 years ago, then flashes started to happen too, but my doctor said they are basically the same thing.
As for the second part, I never shat myself but i've farted couple of times, even in the gym...

 

[Big_paul]

I've had numerous injuries lifting like that, especially as I got older.

I'm convinced 6 rep minimum is both safer and productive.

 

[RedDog94]

Damn I could see this happening lol. I've been going for a 15lb PR every two weeks and just got 485 lbs on Friday. I was seeing translucent floaters after and my eyes still feel sore today. So strange. I bet the high stress from bracing your core so hard caused the "accident" lol. Still, good lift man! I bet you can get it again next time without the 'side effects'

 

[Country Club Hero]

About 18 years ago I needed a new birth certificate or social security card. Had to go to some big government building downtown to get it. It had a massive stone staircase from the road to the building entrance.

That day I was lucky enough to get a parking spot right in front of the building. Just had to ascend the giant stairs. As I was stepping out of my vehicle I felt a warm fart darting towards the exit and I decided to let it go before fully getting into a standing position outside the vehicle.

Well, as you can guess it was not a fart. It was a lot of nasty, wet poo all in my underwear and probably making its way through to my pants already. Now, you have to understand how much I hate going downtown and dealing with that madness to understand why I did what I did next. No way in hell I was going home and coming back another day.

So I took a deep breath and tried to look around my backside to see if you could actually see the shit anywhere on me. I couldn’t so I began the trek up the massive staircase. Im sure it looked like I was a cowboy walking all bow legged from wearing chaps and spurs.

I waddled all the way up the stairs and entered the fancy, historic looking door and immediately looked for the restroom sign. Fortunately it was close. I went into a stall and very carefully extricated myself from my shorts. Amazingly I didn’t see a single spec of poo juice anywhere on them. So I stripped off the heavily soiled underwear and wiped my entire backside with a clean section and immediately dropped them into the trash receptacle inside the stall. Wiped another 20 times with TP and put my shorts back on. Washed my hands and exited the bathroom. Found the line I was looking for and got my needed documentation.

That was the last time I crapped myself. Maybe the only time as an adult. Not a pleasant experience. Would not recommend.

 

[fike]

I've had numerous injuries lifting like that, especially as I got older.

I'm convinced 6 rep minimum is both safer and productive.

Man, I'm 35 and should definitely be more conscious of my physical limitations and injury proneness, but my freakin ego gets the best of me fairly often. There's a need in my mind to prove I can still do what a 25 year old can do, even if it's just my wife or me there to witness it. Funny thing is I'm way stronger now than I was at 25. Yes, I am definitely a moron.

 

[fike]

Damn I could see this happening lol. I've been going for a 15lb PR every two weeks and just got 485 lbs on Friday. I was seeing translucent floaters after and my eyes still feel sore today. So strange. I bet the high stress from bracing your core so hard caused the "accident" lol. Still, good lift man! I bet you can get it again next time without the 'side effects'

I couldn't think of the right word in the original message but you and poff1 both pointed out that they were floaters. I've gotten them quite a lot when I brace super hard, especially on squat or deadlift. I don't think a lot of us realize how much freakin intracranial pressure we are putting on our heads when we do that. The abdominal pressure definitely caused the poopie pants incident. haha. I'm so glad I was at home when this happened. I would hate to end up in a YouTube video with JoeySwoll having to tell people not to make fun of me.

On another note, thanks for the compliment of the lift. Same goes to you. 485 is solid. It's amazing how we can make those numbers jump pretty quick on the deadlift. I honestly only have to deadlift once a week doing 4 heavy sets with no more than 3 reps max and I see my numbers go up very nicely. every week, even if it's only 5 lbs.

 

[BlazinDayz]

I'm honestly not even sure where I should be posting this, but here it goes. I was deadlifting a few days ago and I was going for my PR at the weight I am now, around 182 lbs.

So, have any of you men among men (or women among men) ever had anything crazy happen to you when lifting that makes you just want to crawl under a bench and seek shelter while you figure out how you're going to tell your spouse her 35 year old husband just shit his britches?

Bwahaha!!

Back when i first started lifting, I thought mass gainers were the shit.
Well, mixed with milk, in a warm gym, going heavy on squats is a surefire way of inducing projectile vomit.

 

[fike]

About 18 years ago I needed a new birth certificate or social security card. Had to go to some big government building downtown to get it. It had a massive stone staircase from the road to the building entrance.

That day I was lucky enough to get a parking spot right in front of the building. Just had to ascend the giant stairs. As I was stepping out of my vehicle I felt a warm fart darting towards the exit and I decided to let it go before fully getting into a standing position outside the vehicle.

Well, as you can guess it was not a fart. It was a lot of nasty, wet poo all in my underwear and probably making its way through to my pants already. Now, you have to understand how much I hate going downtown and dealing with that madness to understand why I did what I did next. No way in hell I was going home and coming back another day.

So I took a deep breath and tried to look around my backside to see if you could actually see the shit anywhere on me. I couldn’t so I began the trek up the massive staircase. Im sure it looked like I was a cowboy walking all bow legged from wearing chaps and spurs.

I waddled all the way up the stairs and entered the fancy, historic looking door and immediately looked for the restroom sign. Fortunately it was close. I went into a stall and very carefully extricated myself from my shorts. Amazingly I didn’t see a single spec of poo juice anywhere on them. So I stripped off the heavily soiled underwear and wiped my entire backside with a clean section and immediately dropped them into the trash receptacle inside the stall. Wiped another 20 times with TP and put my shorts back on. Washed my hands and exited the bathroom. Found the line I was looking for and got my needed documentation.

That was the last time I crapped myself. Maybe the only time as an adult. Not a pleasant experience. Would not recommend.

I don't think I have earned the privilege to give reactions yet, so I'll put it into words. Hahahaha. I totally get the thing about going downtown, and especially going downtown to deal with the government (hate em). I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing.

Not having it go through your undies and destroy your shorts must have seemed like God having some pity on you about the whole situation, though.

I wish I could say that was the only time I have shit my pants as an adult though. Started all over myself in the car on my way to the bomb dump at Ramstein Air Base in Germany while going to work. We were in the middle of drills too and I had on MOP gear (chemical suit.) Still had to go to work in my shitty MOP suit for a 12 hour shift. Fuck me.

 

[fike]

Bwahaha!!

Back when i first started lifting, I thought mass gainers were the shit.
Well, mixed with milk, in a warm gym, going heavy on squats is a surefire way of inducing projectile vomit.

Thinking about the smell of regurgitated milk that's been sitting on the stomach for a while is a surefire way to make me want to projectile vomit. That's the reason I stopped drinking White Russians...and subsequently drinking all together.

 

[shartking]

I took a dump at work, just before I headed to the gym at lunch. Just to pump it, I listened to the Rocky theme song.

 

[fike]

I took a dump at work, just before I headed to the gym at lunch. Just to pump it, I listened to the Rocky theme song.

Potty pump. The shitter is always a good place to get a few sets of kegels in. Strengthen up the ol’ shit pussy!

 

[Country Club Hero]

I don't think I have earned the privilege to give reactions yet, so I'll put it into words. Hahahaha. I totally get the thing about going downtown, and especially going downtown to deal with the government (hate em). I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing.

Not having it go through your undies and destroy your shorts must have seemed like God having some pity on you about the whole situation, though.

I wish I could say that was the only time I have shit my pants as an adult though. Started all over myself in the car on my way to the bomb dump at Ramstein Air Base in Germany while going to work. We were in the middle of drills too and I had on MOP gear (chemical suit.) Still had to go to work in my shitty MOP suit for a 12 hour shift. Fuck me.

The poo suit sounds warm and welcoming.

 

[MindlessWork]

Oh the humiliation that has to be. Worst day to lift is when you got the runnies.