How do you know when you're ready to join the dark side?

[Ligament]

You will be ready when you finally understand that you (and not something or somebody else) are responsible for everything in your life.

This doesn't mean bad stuff won't ever happen. It means you are responsible for your response.

Look, you can’t always choose what happens, but you do get to choose how you respond. That’s the part that matters. When you take responsibility for your reaction, you stop giving other people control over how you feel. It’s not about blame — it’s just owning your next move. That’s where your real power is.

Focus on your mental health, dial in diet and exercise. Then consider PEDs

 

[Deadpool99]

For context. I am almost 31, 190lbs @ 5'10" and have been lifting for years and spinning my wheels. Last time I tested my testosterone it came back at 510ng/dl. All other markers came back smack dab in the middle of the range. I'm as average as average gets..

- Long story short I used to be a fat.
- Got dumped by my ex 4-5 years ago.
- Gym rat ever since
- happy i lost the fat but not happy with muscle
- most likely not at my genetic limit because I was afraid to bulk. Or at least this Is my only answer as to why I've been spinning my wheels. Because The effort was DEFINITELY there. Lol

-so to combat this mental hurdle i actually just had loose skin removal with surgery so I can more accurately assess my body fat. (Was Hard mentally for me tell tell if it was fat or loose skin. $16k surgery- so I definitely take this serious)

- also tore My bicep back in July. So I've been out of the gym recovering from both surgeries. What little muscle I had seems to be all gone now..

-ive been holding off on steroids to have kids and to reach my genetic limit so i can do it the "right way" But I'll probably never have kids at this point, too expensive. And Im getting old, and im tired of imagining gains when i look in the mirror. especially after being injured and seeing what little gains I had fade away. At this point maybe it's better to let the gear slingshot me to my peak physique and then cruise off into the sunset and maintain those gains on some trt till the day I die.

Main reason I want to hop on trt so I can have some masculinizing effects. AND blast and cruise (obviously) lol i know I'm gonna sound like SUCH a pussy. Lol but i have some struggles within myself..
truthfully, I get treated like a child. I constantly am underestimated by EVERYONE. and honestly i understand why... Which is why it has made me super self conscious. Which has now made the problem worse.
For starters one problem i have is i have a soft voice... i have to scream for guys at work to hear me over the sound of a truck idling or the wind blowing and even then it's like nobody can hear me. But other people seem to be able to whisper and you can hear them clear as day. So I'm hoping a little test can add some bass to my voice.
People also always think I'm way younger than I really am. You might think this is a good thing. But as a man it sucks. I always get the shit jobs at work. I get no respect. I constantly have to prove myself. Always treated as the new guy, it's beyond frustrating. And even if I put my foot down, the usual response is "don't be a pussy" and end up with even less respect. but I've noticed other dudes who are younger but look old as fuck or just more manly overall. But When They complain about something or put their foot down and all of a sudden everyone listens and repects what they have to say if something isn't fair or they don't like something. Litterally even if it's the same exact thing I bitch about. Lol its wild.. i work with different people constantly and it's the same problem. So it has to be me...
Even my girlfriend's mother will flat out just ignore me when i talk and she will just start a conversation with anyone else. Lol. I dont think she means to be mean or rude. Its just interesting how accross the board i really am truly invisible.. with everyone except my girlfriend. And if it wasn't for her I'd 1000% already be on it at this point.

to be honest I don't ever complain. I work my ass off and i eat some serious shit thaf other people would cry over so that i dont give anyone a reason to talk down to me but it really really bothers me. I want to be the one doing the "fucking" for a change.. I want people to sit up straight when I walk into the room.

I noticed this when i was like 22yrs old I did a sarm only cycle (dumb i know but the guy at my local supplement store told me it wasnt suppresive and i belived him sadly)

But for those few months i was on it that seem to really transform me and my whole demeanor. The way people treated me was night and day different. Just from that short little burst. I've been searching for that feeling ever since. It really completed me and filled that "missing piece" within myself. My voice had more authority behind it. I had more purpose in my step. People gave me more respect. Girls noticed me. It felt like I was actually a member of society for once lol.
As someone whos bounced around from fat, to to athletic to crashing my hormones and getting gyno and bouncing back to natty I have a very clear observation on how looks is EVERYTHING and the power of hormones is HUGE. It taught me alot..

At this point I truthfully feel like it would solve all my problems. Lol And for some people it seems like its the ultimate cheat code to success. And other people say it's a trap and it's going to ruin your life and turn you gay and give you gyno and have heart failure at 45 for gains a smidgen better then creatine. Lol

I can't tell if people are just gate keeping it and it's a miracle or if it really is a trap and I'll end up dying early and a slave to the needle for barely any gains. Lol

I'm not expecting to be Chris bumstead. I just want to turn heads and be noticed and respected.
I'll gladly pin this shit. I guess I just wonder is the juice worth the squeeze? I'm just afraid of making this lifelong choice and overlooking some variables that Ill wish I took into consideration years down the road. I'm afraid of regret. But I'm also afraid of regretting not starting sooner.

-How has it changed your life?
-How long have you been on it?
-Why did you start?
-do you regret it?
-were you able to still have kids?
-how did it help or hurt your social life?

As a 22yr old on gear. Imma give u my take. Might be repetitive to other's reply but here's my honest take.

I’ll keep it real with you. A lot of what you wrote has nothing to do with testosterone levels and everything to do with confidence, presence, and how you carry yourself.

I’m not anti-gear. I run it. It helped my physique, my drive, my confidence. But it didn’t magically fix every insecurity or social dynamic.

Imma be dead honest, no one I know or met after taking gear has changed their perception of me, or treated me different on and off gear, while I was fat, skinny, jacked.

Surprisingly everyone sees through the physique/muscle, no one who get's enough time to get to know you remotely gives one single fuck. Take it form me, u get more attention from boys tbh.

What it did do was give me a solid foundation to build on, the work outside the gym was still on me. Ur reasoning/decision to take gear should be based on ur ambitions and goals not on ur predicaments/issues within ur life.


Here’s the reality from experience:

• TRT won’t turn you into a new person, maybe boost ur confidence but that's not rly a reason to go ahead
  
  
• Blasting will absolutely change your physique faster than anything natty, but tbh the "blasting" part is the easiest thing, you just have to inject 500mg test and ur now blasting gear, the hardest is consistently tracking, training, monitoring and constantly being on point, as when you start using PED's, u have to be 100% on point or you're wasting your time and long term health for nothing.
  
  
• Your voice, presence, and confidence come more from posture, composure, and self-respect than from hormones. TRT might help a bit, but it won’t fix the “being ignored” dynamic on its own.
  
  
• The respect you want comes once you build an identity you actually believe in, not from 500mg test alone, take it from someone who ran 680mg tren and no one gave a single fuck, most people just told me: "hey, did u gain weight?", not muscle, weight. They simply don't gave a single fuck.
  
  
• If you’re already this affected by how people treat you, you need to focus on the psychological side at the same time as the physiological, or you’ll blast and still feel the same inside.

As for the practical side:

• I’ve been on for a while.
  
  
• No regrets because I made the decision intentionally and knew the long-term tradeoffs.
  
  
• Kids are still possible, but you need HCG and/or a fertility protocol, don’t just assume, and nothing is guaranteed.
  
  
• Social life improved because I became more decisive and less insecure, not because test turned me into an alpha cartoon character.
  
  
• The trap only happens when people expect gear to fix their entire identity. It won’t. It just boosts what you already are.
  The “miracle or trap” thing depends on the person. Guys who do the work do great. Guys who rely on the needle to fix everything always regret it.

My advice? Don’t start because you want respect from other people.
Using gear means you intentionally accept possible the trade offs, and have an ambition and are prepared to commit long-term to training, consistrenly monitoring health and having to spend time and money to manage and keep it running smooth. I swear my cycle support is more expensive/complex than running 1g test + 1g tren.
And accepting u might never produce naturally like u are rn/kids and fertility are never a guarantee.

If you do it with the right mindset, it can absolutely improve your physique, your drive, and how you feel about yourself. Just don’t expect it to replace the inner work.

 

[fw190jd]

As a 22yr old on gear. Imma give u my take. Might be repetitive to other's reply but here's my honest take.

I’ll keep it real with you. A lot of what you wrote has nothing to do with testosterone levels and everything to do with confidence, presence, and how you carry yourself.

I’m not anti-gear. I run it. It helped my physique, my drive, my confidence. But it didn’t magically fix every insecurity or social dynamic.

Imma be dead honest, no one I know or met after taking gear has changed their perception of me, or treated me different on and off gear, while I was fat, skinny, jacked.

Surprisingly everyone sees through the physique/muscle, no one who get's enough time to get to know you remotely gives one single fuck. Take it form me, u get more attention from boys tbh.

What it did do was give me a solid foundation to build on, the work outside the gym was still on me. Ur reasoning/decision to take gear should be based on ur ambitions and goals not on ur predicaments/issues within ur life.


Here’s the reality from experience:

• TRT won’t turn you into a new person, maybe boost ur confidence but that's not rly a reason to go ahead
  
  
• Blasting will absolutely change your physique faster than anything natty, but tbh the "blasting" part is the easiest thing, you just have to inject 500mg test and ur now blasting gear, the hardest is consistently tracking, training, monitoring and constantly being on point, as when you start using PED's, u have to be 100% on point or you're wasting your time and long term health for nothing.
  
  
• Your voice, presence, and confidence come more from posture, composure, and self-respect than from hormones. TRT might help a bit, but it won’t fix the “being ignored” dynamic on its own.
  
  
• The respect you want comes once you build an identity you actually believe in, not from 500mg test alone, take it from someone who ran 680mg tren and no one gave a single fuck, most people just told me: "hey, did u gain weight?", not muscle, weight. They simply don't gave a single fuck.
  
  
• If you’re already this affected by how people treat you, you need to focus on the psychological side at the same time as the physiological, or you’ll blast and still feel the same inside.

As for the practical side:

• I’ve been on for a while.
  
  
• No regrets because I made the decision intentionally and knew the long-term tradeoffs.
  
  
• Kids are still possible, but you need HCG and/or a fertility protocol, don’t just assume, and nothing is guaranteed.
  
  
• Social life improved because I became more decisive and less insecure, not because test turned me into an alpha cartoon character.
  
  
• The trap only happens when people expect gear to fix their entire identity. It won’t. It just boosts what you already are.
  The “miracle or trap” thing depends on the person. Guys who do the work do great. Guys who rely on the needle to fix everything always regret it.

My advice? Don’t start because you want respect from other people.
Using gear means you intentionally accept possible the trade offs, and have an ambition and are prepared to commit long-term to training, consistrenly monitoring health and having to spend time and money to manage and keep it running smooth. I swear my cycle support is more expensive/complex than running 1g test + 1g tren.
And accepting u might never produce naturally like u are rn/kids and fertility are never a guarantee.

If you do it with the right mindset, it can absolutely improve your physique, your drive, and how you feel about yourself. Just don’t expect it to replace the inner work.

wow that was written by a 22-year-old I'm impressed nice job

 

[Deadpool99]

wow that was written by a 22-year-old I'm impressed nice job

Thank you.

I strive to perfect sleep/training/nutrition not just blast for fun.

Priority is always: Knowledge, health, blasting tren.

 

[Angryshitter]

At the end of the day I feel like if you are very informed do your research and it’s something you’ve been wanting to do and think you can even make money from it then that ca validate it kinda but at the same time the deeper issue seems to be the way you see your self and the way where you obviously really care how people feel about you at least that’s really what it seems like just be careful with drug choice and if your feeling down because it might even make it worse then again I don’t think it’s a for sure thing to happen

At first I really didn't care what people think about me. It was me against the world and i didnt care i just accepted it and i had peace. But I'm at a point where I realize it DOES matter what people think of you. It's how you advance in career. Earn new opportunities. Being likeable and looked up to opens doors and I see it. Which Is why i want it. So yes I absolutely care and I do feel in a indirect way it will make me money and I will get ahead. But like you said I AM worried about it affecting me negatively I can see how it can pull you down and that's what I'm afraid. I've never been so back and forth on a decision in my life. I think I'm 51% in it though at this point lol

 

[amazonas]

You're know you're ready when you don't have to ask this kind of question

 

[Angryshitter]

As a 22yr old on gear. Imma give u my take. Might be repetitive to other's reply but here's my honest take.

I’ll keep it real with you. A lot of what you wrote has nothing to do with testosterone levels and everything to do with confidence, presence, and how you carry yourself.

I’m not anti-gear. I run it. It helped my physique, my drive, my confidence. But it didn’t magically fix every insecurity or social dynamic.

Imma be dead honest, no one I know or met after taking gear has changed their perception of me, or treated me different on and off gear, while I was fat, skinny, jacked.

Surprisingly everyone sees through the physique/muscle, no one who get's enough time to get to know you remotely gives one single fuck. Take it form me, u get more attention from boys tbh.

What it did do was give me a solid foundation to build on, the work outside the gym was still on me. Ur reasoning/decision to take gear should be based on ur ambitions and goals not on ur predicaments/issues within ur life.


Here’s the reality from experience:

• TRT won’t turn you into a new person, maybe boost ur confidence but that's not rly a reason to go ahead
  
  
• Blasting will absolutely change your physique faster than anything natty, but tbh the "blasting" part is the easiest thing, you just have to inject 500mg test and ur now blasting gear, the hardest is consistently tracking, training, monitoring and constantly being on point, as when you start using PED's, u have to be 100% on point or you're wasting your time and long term health for nothing.
  
  
• Your voice, presence, and confidence come more from posture, composure, and self-respect than from hormones. TRT might help a bit, but it won’t fix the “being ignored” dynamic on its own.
  
  
• The respect you want comes once you build an identity you actually believe in, not from 500mg test alone, take it from someone who ran 680mg tren and no one gave a single fuck, most people just told me: "hey, did u gain weight?", not muscle, weight. They simply don't gave a single fuck.
  
  
• If you’re already this affected by how people treat you, you need to focus on the psychological side at the same time as the physiological, or you’ll blast and still feel the same inside.

As for the practical side:

• I’ve been on for a while.
  
  
• No regrets because I made the decision intentionally and knew the long-term tradeoffs.
  
  
• Kids are still possible, but you need HCG and/or a fertility protocol, don’t just assume, and nothing is guaranteed.
  
  
• Social life improved because I became more decisive and less insecure, not because test turned me into an alpha cartoon character.
  
  
• The trap only happens when people expect gear to fix their entire identity. It won’t. It just boosts what you already are.
  The “miracle or trap” thing depends on the person. Guys who do the work do great. Guys who rely on the needle to fix everything always regret it.

My advice? Don’t start because you want respect from other people.
Using gear means you intentionally accept possible the trade offs, and have an ambition and are prepared to commit long-term to training, consistrenly monitoring health and having to spend time and money to manage and keep it running smooth. I swear my cycle support is more expensive/complex than running 1g test + 1g tren.
And accepting u might never produce naturally like u are rn/kids and fertility are never a guarantee.

If you do it with the right mindset, it can absolutely improve your physique, your drive, and how you feel about yourself. Just don’t expect it to replace the inner work.

Dude you absolutely nailed it on this reply. The breakdown and structure of it was top notch. Perfectly articulated and hit from every angle
I think your feedback really sums up what everyone's feedback was and you managed to stitch it all together roll it up into one beautiful rresponse. We'll done.

Since you have such a gift with your words I'm curious to dig a little deeper.

One of my struggles is figuring out how to properly illustrate my point effectively.

As a 22yr old on gear. Imma give u my take. Might be repetitive to other's reply but here's my honest take.

I’ll keep it real with you. A lot of what you wrote has nothing to do with testosterone levels and everything to do with confidence, presence, and how you carry yourself.

I’m not anti-gear. I run it. It helped my physique, my drive, my confidence. But it didn’t magically fix every insecurity or social dynamic.

Imma be dead honest, no one I know or met after taking gear has changed their perception of me, or treated me different on and off gear, while I was fat, skinny, jacked.

Surprisingly everyone sees through the physique/muscle, no one who get's enough time to get to know you remotely gives one single fuck. Take it form me, u get more attention from boys tbh.

What it did do was give me a solid foundation to build on, the work outside the gym was still on me. Ur reasoning/decision to take gear should be based on ur ambitions and goals not on ur predicaments/issues within ur life.


Here’s the reality from experience:

• TRT won’t turn you into a new person, maybe boost ur confidence but that's not rly a reason to go ahead
  
  
• Blasting will absolutely change your physique faster than anything natty, but tbh the "blasting" part is the easiest thing, you just have to inject 500mg test and ur now blasting gear, the hardest is consistently tracking, training, monitoring and constantly being on point, as when you start using PED's, u have to be 100% on point or you're wasting your time and long term health for nothing.
  
  
• Your voice, presence, and confidence come more from posture, composure, and self-respect than from hormones. TRT might help a bit, but it won’t fix the “being ignored” dynamic on its own.
  
  
• The respect you want comes once you build an identity you actually believe in, not from 500mg test alone, take it from someone who ran 680mg tren and no one gave a single fuck, most people just told me: "hey, did u gain weight?", not muscle, weight. They simply don't gave a single fuck.
  
  
• If you’re already this affected by how people treat you, you need to focus on the psychological side at the same time as the physiological, or you’ll blast and still feel the same inside.

As for the practical side:

• I’ve been on for a while.
  
  
• No regrets because I made the decision intentionally and knew the long-term tradeoffs.
  
  
• Kids are still possible, but you need HCG and/or a fertility protocol, don’t just assume, and nothing is guaranteed.
  
  
• Social life improved because I became more decisive and less insecure, not because test turned me into an alpha cartoon character.
  
  
• The trap only happens when people expect gear to fix their entire identity. It won’t. It just boosts what you already are.
  The “miracle or trap” thing depends on the person. Guys who do the work do great. Guys who rely on the needle to fix everything always regret it.

My advice? Don’t start because you want respect from other people.
Using gear means you intentionally accept possible the trade offs, and have an ambition and are prepared to commit long-term to training, consistrenly monitoring health and having to spend time and money to manage and keep it running smooth. I swear my cycle support is more expensive/complex than running 1g test + 1g tren.
And accepting u might never produce naturally like u are rn/kids and fertility are never a guarantee.

If you do it with the right mindset, it can absolutely improve your physique, your drive, and how you feel about yourself. Just don’t expect it to replace the inner work.

Since you have such a gift with your words I'm curious to dig a little deeper on what your perspective is. I think you can really help me..

Ill start off by saying One of my struggles is figuring out how to properly illustrate my point effectively. It is apparent by the responses I've gotten that I may have made it seem like I was talking down on myself and was emotionally charged or whatever which is not at all my intentions. I'm here to grow and find solutions not pick myself apart. I think there's alot of misunderstanding with that on this post.
For example it's not that I care about what people think of me simply because it "hurts my feelings" that i dont fit In lol. It's the fact that I need people to like and respect me for my career.
In fact for a while it used to be the opposite. I used to genuinely find it amusing once I realized in life that people ain't shit. It was me against the world and I didn't care if it offended anyone. And if someone didn't want to listen to me or I could tell they weren't intrested I would literally just stop talking mid sentence. Lol I was unapologetically me. And comfortable with it. I was kind of a misfit in the sense that it was hard to relate to others and connect but It really didn't bother me.

Fast forward till about 2 years ago I got a new job. A job where I'm constantly working with new people on different jobsites doing contract work with different crews so i constantly see new faces. I came with my same "go with the flow attitude" of not caring if I fit in or not. I was just doing my job and litterally just keeping to myself and not caring if I was loved or hated. This way of life worked great for me at my last job so I kept the same flow.

But at this new job it exposed one big problem with all of this...

The problem is that the success of my career HIGHLY depends on what people think of you, not really what you know or how hard you work. Which is kind of wild since it's hard physical labor. But some of the laziest people get cherry picked for the jobs everyone wants because they made buddies with the right people.
If your not liked, you don't get picked for the high paying jobs. you get sent to the shittiest job sites that nobody wants and the pay is low. You get the scraps.
And look I'm not even hating or jealous of those people. becausd its LIFE It's just how the game works. and I need to figure out how to play it. If there's something I can do that will impact my success in a positive way then I want to do it which is why i thought maybe gear might be a good way to help achieve it.

In a way, it kinda is a popularity contest. So now that money is involved I HAVE to care what people think. It's not about my feelings. It's survival now. I need to figure out how to be likeable. I need to figure out how to get respect. Lemme tell you. Oddly enough working hard isn't the solution Like I thought.

Can my self image and confidence use a boost? Sure! Absolutely I agree. But in order to boost that I need to address the problems I see within myself. Which is why I brought up things like my voice. Things like that are areas I'm hoping maybe a splash of Test could help improve

Because the truth is I will never be able to speak "confidently" when I know the sound of a vacuum cleaner is enough to completely drown out my voice. It's frustrating for everyone around me if they cant communicate with me or understand me. It makes people not want to work with me. Which I TOTALY UNDERSTAND. Because there's many times I just give up and just not talk unless absolutely necessary.

So again it's not like I'm trying to beat myself up over it. Im just simply bringing attention to an issue I'm having and trying to figure out what I can do to improve it.

I Will say though, with this being said it has made me realize I really don't have a personality. I think the reason is since i kinda gave up on talking. since nobody understands me or listens or whatever, this has caused me to avoid socializing as much to simply avoid having to speak. I kinda just became "mute" since that was my method of solving the problem of not being heard or understood so now that I kinda need to socialize It definitely has exposed my problem of forming connection with people. I think I forgot how to hold conversation as well. Honestly I didn't realize this until right now while typing this out... damn. I REALLY need to figure something out about this voice problem.

So honestly everything I said really does validate your statement below. Bro you are a book of wisdom. Wow..

• The respect you want comes once you build an identity you actually believe in

Okay so this being said. You're right I've just realized I don't have an identity. And I think we've learned one of the reasons I lack identity is because of my issues with my voice?

So my question is. How do I get an identity? And what can I do about this voice lol

The voice is holding back the identity a little bit I think because I'm not able to express myself. Maybe that's why I want a killer physique to make up for the lack of personality. Because I'm thinking if. Even if people don't like me as a person, won't they at least respect me from having a strong stature? I guess that's why the solution in my mind came to steroids?

I know that probably sounds terrible but that's really my thought process and I am just being open and transparent here. I think you have alot of good perspective on life So I'm very curious to hear your honest take on it.

My advice? Don’t start because you want respect from other people.
Using gear means you intentionally accept possible the trade offs, and have an ambition and are prepared to commit long-term to training, consistrenly monitoring health and having to spend time and money to manage and keep it running smooth

So if the desire of respect isnt simply for the respect in and of itself, but instead based entirely off of the goal of growing my career and climbing the ladder of success by using respect as leverage to leap me forward is that still a bad reasoning?

Imma be dead honest, no one I know or met after taking gear has changed their perception of me, or treated me different on and off gear, while I was fat, skinny, jacked.

I'm actually extremely shocked by this. You really didn't notice ANY Difference in the way people perceived you? That's actually hard to wrap my mind around honestly. Lol

If you do it with the right mindset, it can absolutely improve your physique, your drive, and how you feel about yourself. Just don’t expect it to replace the inner work.

Nah I know it could never replace the inner work that's what mushrooms are for

 

[Deadpool99]

I'm actually extremely shocked by this. You really didn't notice ANY Difference in the way people perceived you? That's actually hard to wrap my mind around honestly. Lol

Ofc they notice the difference between a 300lbs fat ass and a jacked 200lbs, but their reaction is mainly oh you changed it up congrats. Family would care about that for a 2-3 weeks until they get used to it and then back to the same old. Friend’s too.

The initial shock is rly the only big difference.


I’m actually the most attention deprived person itw probably, I have friends but they don’t rly ask me out anymore, I always keep to myself. A loner.

Yes it’s boring, rly is, sometimes frustrating.

Literally if someone randomly acknowledges me online like you just now, a simple compliment from u, made my day. I’m that deprived.

Thank you for the kind words. Literally when a random person is interested or tried to help me with smth I’m doing, I go crazy and get an insane rush, lile I’m being seen finally.

Gear never rly changed that, I once lacked the physical aspects u are trying to improve, but they aren’t rly what would make the difference, I’ll tell u what will.

For example it's not that I care about what people think of me simply because it "hurts my feelings" that i dont fit In lol. It's the fact that I need people to like and respect me for my career.
In fact for a while it used to be the opposite. I used to genuinely find it amusing once I realized in life that people ain't shit. It was me against the world and I didn't care if it offended anyone. And if someone didn't want to listen to me or I could tell they weren't intrested I would literally just stop talking mid sentence. Lol I was unapologetically me. And comfortable with it. I was kind of a misfit in the sense that it was hard to relate to others and connect but It really didn't bother me.

Bro, I deadass, am like you. Since I was a fat ass, no one rly wanted to listen to me, even my mom and dad would cut me off mid sentence. Then 5 mins later be like: “hey, did u want to say smth” I reply with no. It’s frustrating cuz sometimes It’s a very important fact or issue, or just a funny joke. It’s the actual important of the message I wanted to convey relevant to them but It was kinda destroyed any joy or excitement in wanting to speak out again cuz why would I if everyone cuts me offz

But if my young 17yr old brother says a word, ppl listen like he’s a priest preaching the bible.

Sadly we are like in many ways than you think.

Dude you absolutely nailed it on this reply. The breakdown and structure of it was top notch. Perfectly articulated and hit from every angle
I think your feedback really sums up what everyone's feedback was and you managed to stitch it all together roll it up into one beautiful rresponse. We'll done.

Since you have such a gift with your words I'm curious to dig a little deeper.

One of my struggles is figuring out how to properly illustrate my point effectively.


Since you have such a gift with your words I'm curious to dig a little deeper on what your perspective is. I think you can really help me..

Ill start off by saying One of my struggles is figuring out how to properly illustrate my point effectively. It is apparent by the responses I've gotten that I may have made it seem like I was talking down on myself and was emotionally charged or whatever which is not at all my intentions. I'm here to grow and find solutions not pick myself apart. I think there's alot of misunderstanding with that on this post.
For example it's not that I care about what people think of me simply because it "hurts my feelings" that i dont fit In lol. It's the fact that I need people to like and respect me for my career.
In fact for a while it used to be the opposite. I used to genuinely find it amusing once I realized in life that people ain't shit. It was me against the world and I didn't care if it offended anyone. And if someone didn't want to listen to me or I could tell they weren't intrested I would literally just stop talking mid sentence. Lol I was unapologetically me. And comfortable with it. I was kind of a misfit in the sense that it was hard to relate to others and connect but It really didn't bother me.

Fast forward till about 2 years ago I got a new job. A job where I'm constantly working with new people on different jobsites doing contract work with different crews so i constantly see new faces. I came with my same "go with the flow attitude" of not caring if I fit in or not. I was just doing my job and litterally just keeping to myself and not caring if I was loved or hated. This way of life worked great for me at my last job so I kept the same flow.

But at this new job it exposed one big problem with all of this...

The problem is that the success of my career HIGHLY depends on what people think of you, not really what you know or how hard you work. Which is kind of wild since it's hard physical labor. But some of the laziest people get cherry picked for the jobs everyone wants because they made buddies with the right people.
If your not liked, you don't get picked for the high paying jobs. you get sent to the shittiest job sites that nobody wants and the pay is low. You get the scraps.
And look I'm not even hating or jealous of those people. becausd its LIFE It's just how the game works. and I need to figure out how to play it. If there's something I can do that will impact my success in a positive way then I want to do it which is why i thought maybe gear might be a good way to help achieve it.

In a way, it kinda is a popularity contest. So now that money is involved I HAVE to care what people think. It's not about my feelings. It's survival now. I need to figure out how to be likeable. I need to figure out how to get respect. Lemme tell you. Oddly enough working hard isn't the solution Like I thought.

Can my self image and confidence use a boost? Sure! Absolutely I agree. But in order to boost that I need to address the problems I see within myself. Which is why I brought up things like my voice. Things like that are areas I'm hoping maybe a splash of Test could help improve

Because the truth is I will never be able to speak "confidently" when I know the sound of a vacuum cleaner is enough to completely drown out my voice. It's frustrating for everyone around me if they cant communicate with me or understand me. It makes people not want to work with me. Which I TOTALY UNDERSTAND. Because there's many times I just give up and just not talk unless absolutely necessary.

So again it's not like I'm trying to beat myself up over it. Im just simply bringing attention to an issue I'm having and trying to figure out what I can do to improve it.

I Will say though, with this being said it has made me realize I really don't have a personality. I think the reason is since i kinda gave up on talking. since nobody understands me or listens or whatever, this has caused me to avoid socializing as much to simply avoid having to speak. I kinda just became "mute" since that was my method of solving the problem of not being heard or understood so now that I kinda need to socialize It definitely has exposed my problem of forming connection with people. I think I forgot how to hold conversation as well. Honestly I didn't realize this until right now while typing this out... damn. I REALLY need to figure something out about this voice problem.

So honestly everything I said really does validate your statement below. Bro you are a book of wisdom. Wow..

Okay so this being said. You're right I've just realized I don't have an identity. And I think we've learned one of the reasons I lack identity is because of my issues with my voice?

So my question is. How do I get an identity? And what can I do about this voice lol

The voice is holding back the identity a little bit I think because I'm not able to express myself. Maybe that's why I want a killer physique to make up for the lack of personality. Because I'm thinking if. Even if people don't like me as a person, won't they at least respect me from having a strong stature? I guess that's why the solution in my mind came to steroids?

I know that probably sounds terrible but that's really my thought process and I am just being open and transparent here. I think you have alot of good perspective on life So I'm very curious to hear your honest take on it.


So if the desire of respect isnt simply for the respect in and of itself, but instead based entirely off of the goal of growing my career and climbing the ladder of success by using respect as leverage to leap me forward is that still a bad reasoning?


I'm actually extremely shocked by this. You really didn't notice ANY Difference in the way people perceived you? That's actually hard to wrap my mind around honestly. Lol

Nah I know it could never replace the inner work that's what mushrooms are for

I can respond to you in different ways, I can act like a big bro and tell u to stop overthinking. I can also just simply say a few words like I’m on a TedTalk to pump you up and use some powerful words/quotes.

But I’m going to try and analyze and draw the full picture of the situation, might be a lengthy one.


Alright man, now that you laid it all out, here’s the truth from someone who’s been around this stuff longer than I like to admit. (That’s crazy coming from a dumb 22yr old)

Gear isn’t going to give you an identity, but getting your shit together internally absolutely will.
And you’re closer than you think.

A lot of what you’re describing isn’t personality, it’s communication patterns you built to survive a phase of your life.
You didn’t lose your personality, you just stopped using it because being unheard conditioned you to withdraw.
Anyone would react like that.


The voice thing isn’t the core issue.
It’s a surface-level symptom.

Your identity is basically:
“I’m capable, I work hard, I think clearly, but I’ve been operating muted for years.”

Identity isn’t something you “find.”
It’s something you build by stacking small wins that reinforce the version of yourself you want to become.

Now the most respected dudes I’ve ever met on jobsites weren’t the loudest or the biggest.
They were the ones who spoke little, but spoke clearly, and carried themselves like they knew what they were doing.
People follow certainty — not volume.


Your issue isn’t that people don’t hear you.
It’s that you don’t project certainty because you’ve been in survival mode for so long you forgot what it feels like to talk from your chest.


Gear can help you feel sharper, more assertive, more driven.
But it won’t magically fix the deeper patterns.


What will fix it is this IMHO:

• Rebuilding your physical presence (you’re already working toward that)
• Re-training how you communicate (short sentences, slower pace, speak from diaphragm)
• Showing consistency instead of emotional shutdown
• Choosing a version of yourself and acting like him before you feel like him

You talked about wanting respect so you can move up and not get stuck with the shit jobs.
That’s a legit reason.
That’s not insecurity, that’s a strategy.

But here’s the main thing u have to think about:

People won’t respect a physique alone.
They’ll respect a physique attached to someone who obviously knows who he is.

You don’t need a whole new identity.
You just need to unmute the one you already had before you got stuck withdrawing.

Gear can complement that process.
It just shouldn’t be the foundation of it.
I personally think it’s not necessary.

If you choose to hop on, cool, but do it because you’re ready to build the version of yourself you already described, not because you think it’ll replace the inner work.

And for what it’s worth, nothing you said sounds terrible.
It sounds honest, and most guys think like this but never say it out loud.
You’re already ahead because you’re self-aware enough to see the pattern (sound a bit corny but rly true)

 

[BlackVeil]

You don’t choose the dark side.. the dark side chooses you.


The question is with-in yourself, it isn’t anyone else can answer.
You have to answer it yourself.

 

[Angryshitter]

Ofc they notice the difference between a 300lbs fat ass and a jacked 200lbs, but their reaction is mainly oh you changed it up congrats. Family would care about that for a 2-3 weeks until they get used to it and then back to the same old. Friend’s too.

I can understand that. It's pretty easy to see through it when someone already knows you because once someone paints a picture of who you are in their mind. You really can't ever change that. Or it's damn near impossible. But what I'm hoping it helps with is meeting new people when that slate is fresh. That dynamic will start off with me having a little boost. That's the hope anyways

Thank you for the kind words. Literally when a random person is interested or tried to help me with smth I’m doing, I go crazy and get an insane rush, lile I’m being seen finally.

Of course man. Honestly now that you mention it the same thing happens to me. I never really took note of it. But come to think of It I do also get a mini adrenaline rush. Very strange I thought I was the only one lol

Bro, I deadass, am like you. Since I was a fat ass, no one rly wanted to listen to me, even my mom and dad would cut me off mid sentence.

honestly this is another reason I struggle with conversation. since I know I only have a few seconds untill i get ignored or interupted, subconsciously it causes a splash of anxiety and i feel i must blurt everything out as quickly as possible which I can imagine makes the problem 2wice as bad . I try to stay conscious of this it's another problem that feeds of itself. It's litterally a snake eating it's own tail scenerio

Now the most respected dudes I’ve ever met on jobsites weren’t the loudest or the biggest.
They were the ones who spoke little, but spoke clearly, and carried themselves like they knew what they were doing.
People follow certainty — not volume.

I agree the volume thing isn't the root cause of it all but just a slice of the pie of root issues. I would have to agree.

You don’t need a whole new identity.
You just need to unmute the one you already had before you got stuck withdrawing.

I agree muting is a dead end but there was a reason I've muted to begin with. I've tried unmuting and it almost does more harm then good. I do agree that's the direction I need to go. I agree I don't need a new identity. But I think it would massively help if my physique matched my personality that I have deep down. I feel like I'm always holding back who I am. I think that could help express who I am as a person. Which ties into your quote below

Gear can complement that process.
It just shouldn’t be the foundation of it.
I personally think it’s not necessary.

not necessary, but if it helps give me the needed boost to tip the scales in my favor to leverage the work I do within I'm all for it.

If you choose to hop on, cool, but do it because you’re ready to build the version of yourself you already described, not because you think it’ll replace the inner work.

You know this does settle it. I think I will look into starting TRT to dip my toes in and see if that offers any benefits before jumping into cycles and what not. I think this whole discussion makes me feel alot better about my expectations from it. The inner work absolutely is a huge focus. Even lately I've been dipping into the Bible for some direction in life which has been a huge help for guidance as well. I think you've helped paint a pretty clear picture for me which again thank you for taking the time to offer your insights and experiences. Never thought I'd be able to relate to someone this much on here.

 

[BendigoShafter]

All this advice is right for the internal stuff which is the most important. Listen to people who have been through what you're going through and built themselves better. Learning to be confident and happy with yourself is the best thing you can teach yourself.

But now... what's on the outside? Current pic of physique? Let's see what you're working with if you're going to start test.

 

[Angryshitter]

All this advice is right for the internal stuff which is the most important. Listen to people who have been through what you're going through and built themselves better. Learning to be confident and happy with yourself is the best thing you can teach yourself.

But now... what's on the outside? Current pic of physique? Let's see what you're working with if you're going to start test.

Yeah I really want to grow inside and out. I am genuinely seeking growth in every category of life. The inside part is ROUGH though to navigate. But I'm still actively aiming to improve.

Outside right now isnt the best. Like I said I tore My bicep in July. Then I had my loose skin cut off so I can try to properly assess my bodyfat better instead of being afraid to actually bulk.
Cant tell if it's worth it yet or not as I am still swollen. And I lost all of my muscle. I feel like I look like a women right now LOL with where the swelling is at the hips right now lol But anyways here's a pic before July when i was lifting regularly and eating strict and what not. Then the middle is right before surgery and the last Pic is current (bout last week) (Current ain't flattering I know but i can't lift so it is what it is)

 

[frankydb0]

Your body dysmorphia is off the charts.
Honestly i think you'd have been better off hopping on rather than getting the loose skin removal.

-How has it changed your life? Everything has become sunshine, gains & rainbows
-How long have you been on it? 3 years blast (Test/Primo/Var) & cruise
-Why did you start? Diagnosed Hypogonadal (67 ng/dl). Trt for awhile while researching for months then jumped in.
-do you regret it? Absolutely not
-were you able to still have kids? I am doing a fertility protocol right now.
HCG/HMG with peptides and supps.
If you are fertile now, there is no reason to think you would become permanently sterile from gear use. the amount of guys that get their SO pregnant while on grams of suppressive compounds is ample and regaining fertility with the right protocol is easy. there are thousands of fertility logs across the interwebs for you to read. Just look at how many pros/powerlifters/strongman have kids.
for example after being on for 3 years straight my sperm count is 15 million before starting fertility stack. Low AF but not sterile.
-how did it help or hurt your social life? Social life has expanded but that was more becoming a gymnrat than the gear. i don't think it has done anything pro-con to social life.

 

[trtbuilder]

lmao, the surgeon who did that surgery should be charged. you barely had any loose skin. jesus.

 

[Angryshitter]

Your body dysmorphia is off the charts

to be fair that before pic is a little misleading. That was when I was dieting HARD to try and diet that loose skin away. Lol It really was not sustainable at all plus that pic was taken immediately after working out so there's pump. Maybe lighting helped and I was tan AF which actually really made things pop. But other then that, normally I don't normally like that. If you saw me Walk past you in a store or something you would have zero clue I lift lol on the flip side I look like ass right now because I haven't lifted and I'm recovering and swollen. So I'm probably somewhere in the middle if you can imagine that.

Honestly i think you'd have been better off hopping on rather than getting the loose skin removal.

Honestly that was a big debate of mine whether or not I should try and "fill out" my frame by blasting gear or getting the surgery. I think I felt pressured into the surgery because now was the perfect time to do it since I'm already out of work AND the gym due to my torn bicep. I didn't want to take 6 months off work+gym and then decide to get the surgery and have to take another 6 months off. So timing was a huge factor and I didn't want to regret not doing it if I decided later I wanted it. But also I still want gear. I guess I might end up doing both after all.

Why did you start? Diagnosed Hypogonadal (67 ng/dl). Trt for awhile while researching for months then jumped in.

Damn I really didn't know that low was possible. I can imagine how positive the impact this must have been on your life. I'm 500ish ng/dl and I'm still hoping trt will make a big impact. Your benefits must have been night and day..

How has it changed your life? Everything has become sunshine, gains & rainbows
-How long have you been on it? 3 years blast (Test/Primo/Var) & cruise
-were you able to still have kids? I am doing a fertility protocol right now.
HCG/HMG with peptides and supps.
If you are fertile now, there is no reason to think you would become permanently sterile from gear use. the amount of guys that get their SO pregnant while on grams of suppressive compounds is ample and regaining fertility with the right protocol is easy. there are thousands of fertility logs across the interwebs for you to read. Just look at how many pros/powerlifters/strongman have kids.
for example after being on for 3 years straight my sperm count is 15 million before starting fertility stack. Low AF but not sterile.

This definitely tickles me pink. It's absolutely a huge blanket of comfort to dip my toes. It's a nice reminder that I'm not permanently closing doors. (For the most part lol)

lmao, the surgeon who did that surgery should be charged. you barely had any loose skin. jesus.

Dude I went to an expensive surgeon too. He gassed me up telling me how straight and thin his incision lines would be.. take a look at this abomination... my incision lines on the back and the front are uneven as fuck so he just cut sideways to connect them. Thats some shit id expect from a student fresh out of med school... it Looks like Ray Charles and hellen Keller went to town on me with a scalpel.. it'll need a revision and I'm sure as fuck I'll have to Pay for that too. and if you look closely at the vertical hairline on my stomach. It used to be centered with my belly button. Now the hairline is slightly offset to my belly button. It's about a belly button width off.... Realistically I don't think anyone will notice. BUT I notice it and it drives me crazy. Because I know there's There's no reasonable way of fixing that. I had my mental breakdown over it (litterally) but I'm choosing to just ignore it and look at it as a tradeoff. Still. In the end I paid over 16k to move one big insecurity into multiple smaller insecurities. Instead of being defeated about it I decided to be proactive about it and build the ultimate scar protocol and throw everything at recovering and getting this scar to heal and fade as fast as possible. I'll get a revision on the sides when things heal up a little more and I'll just learn to live with the belly button hairline. At LEAST he made the belly button centered. Thank God. But yeah man as of now I don't know if this is worth It. I'm hoping in time when things calm down and smooth out and swelling goes away I'll be glad I got it but right now seems like I just shat into a fan lol

 

[Surveyor98]

-How has it changed your life?
-How long have you been on it?
-Why did you start?
-do you regret it?
-were you able to still have kids?
-how did it help or hurt your social life?

In reading your post it truly sounds like you would benefit from TRT, NOT the dark side, as you mentioned.

That being said, I have been on TRT for many years.

-How has it changed your life? Made me a happier, stronger, better man.
-How long have you been on it? 15 years.
-Why did you start? Low libido, poor gym performance, poor outlook on life, in general
-do you regret it? Not one little bit.
-were you able to still have kids? Too old.
-how did it help or hurt your social life? I am now known as the 'jacked husband' when my wife and I go out to parties, social events, etc. So, yes it helped a great deal.

I really think a higher-end dose of testosterone would benefit you pretty substantially.

 

[nullandvoid]

It's just a tool. Romanticizing it as "the dark side" outs you as a Star Wars nerd, which is something better kept private. If your diet and training are truly on point, your Test seems rather low... but not terrible. Obviously your testicles are still functioning. I'd say look into hCG monotherapy or a bit of Clomid (zero personal experience with this) before going the exogenous route. But the pessimist in me says your diet and training aren't that on point, and you are instead seeking permission/validation to just skip to using Test. That's fine, but just admit it. I sought chemical solutions to lifestyle problems for years. Now I am mostly chemical with zero lifestyle.

 

[Angryshitter]

It's just a tool. Romanticizing it as "the dark side" outs you as a Star Wars nerd, which is something better kept private. If your diet and training are truly on point, your Test seems rather low... but not terrible. Obviously your testicles are still functioning. I'd say look into hCG monotherapy or a bit of Clomid (zero personal experience with this) before going the exogenous route. But the pessimist in me says your diet and training aren't that on point, and you are instead seeking permission/validation to just skip to using Test. That's fine, but just admit it. I sought chemical solutions to lifestyle problems for years.

Honestly as far as not making gains i think I haven't been eating enough. If I had to make a bet that would be it. Like I said I think my loose skin was playing some mental tricks with me casuing me to let my foot off the gas immediately after trying to increase calories. Anyways my solution to this was getting my loose skin surgically removed which I am still In the process of recovering from. So I'm hoping once I get back to lifting I can give this bulking thing a try again without the skin playing tricks on my mind.

Either way I think I'm gonna do trt anyways. But I'm going to do it in COMBINATION of increasing calories.

Another factor too I think alot of people forget. Is it's also hard to "know" if your training is on point if you litterally never see results. I've tried so many different workout styles and still really have no idea which way is the "RIGHT" way to train. Same with eating.

I know for a fact bumping up my hormones will AMPLIFY the work I'm putting in in the gym and in the kitchen etc. So in a way it'll give me better feedback to know weather my training/diet is on point. Vs trying to optimize natty and waiting 6 months to notice any changes lol
So fuck it. Why not.

As for star wars, honestly I didn't realize that was from star wars. Tbh I've never seen it. Too adhd to sit through that shit

 

[amicedrot]

For context. I am almost 31, 190lbs @ 5'10" and have been lifting for years and spinning my wheels. Last time I tested my testosterone it came back at 510ng/dl. All other markers came back smack dab in the middle of the range. I'm as average as average gets..

- Long story short I used to be a fat.
- Got dumped by my ex 4-5 years ago.
- Gym rat ever since
- happy i lost the fat but not happy with muscle
- most likely not at my genetic limit because I was afraid to bulk. Or at least this Is my only answer as to why I've been spinning my wheels. Because The effort was DEFINITELY there. Lol

-so to combat this mental hurdle i actually just had loose skin removal with surgery so I can more accurately assess my body fat. (Was Hard mentally for me tell tell if it was fat or loose skin. $16k surgery- so I definitely take this serious)

- also tore My bicep back in July. So I've been out of the gym recovering from both surgeries. What little muscle I had seems to be all gone now..

-ive been holding off on steroids to have kids and to reach my genetic limit so i can do it the "right way" But I'll probably never have kids at this point, too expensive. And Im getting old, and im tired of imagining gains when i look in the mirror. especially after being injured and seeing what little gains I had fade away. At this point maybe it's better to let the gear slingshot me to my peak physique and then cruise off into the sunset and maintain those gains on some trt till the day I die.

Main reason I want to hop on trt so I can have some masculinizing effects. AND blast and cruise (obviously) lol i know I'm gonna sound like SUCH a pussy. Lol but i have some struggles within myself..
truthfully, I get treated like a child. I constantly am underestimated by EVERYONE. and honestly i understand why... Which is why it has made me super self conscious. Which has now made the problem worse.
For starters one problem i have is i have a soft voice... i have to scream for guys at work to hear me over the sound of a truck idling or the wind blowing and even then it's like nobody can hear me. But other people seem to be able to whisper and you can hear them clear as day. So I'm hoping a little test can add some bass to my voice.
People also always think I'm way younger than I really am. You might think this is a good thing. But as a man it sucks. I always get the shit jobs at work. I get no respect. I constantly have to prove myself. Always treated as the new guy, it's beyond frustrating. And even if I put my foot down, the usual response is "don't be a pussy" and end up with even less respect. but I've noticed other dudes who are younger but look old as fuck or just more manly overall. But When They complain about something or put their foot down and all of a sudden everyone listens and repects what they have to say if something isn't fair or they don't like something. Litterally even if it's the same exact thing I bitch about. Lol its wild.. i work with different people constantly and it's the same problem. So it has to be me...
Even my girlfriend's mother will flat out just ignore me when i talk and she will just start a conversation with anyone else. Lol. I dont think she means to be mean or rude. Its just interesting how accross the board i really am truly invisible.. with everyone except my girlfriend. And if it wasn't for her I'd 1000% already be on it at this point.

to be honest I don't ever complain. I work my ass off and i eat some serious shit thaf other people would cry over so that i dont give anyone a reason to talk down to me but it really really bothers me. I want to be the one doing the "fucking" for a change.. I want people to sit up straight when I walk into the room.

I noticed this when i was like 22yrs old I did a sarm only cycle (dumb i know but the guy at my local supplement store told me it wasnt suppresive and i belived him sadly)

But for those few months i was on it that seem to really transform me and my whole demeanor. The way people treated me was night and day different. Just from that short little burst. I've been searching for that feeling ever since. It really completed me and filled that "missing piece" within myself. My voice had more authority behind it. I had more purpose in my step. People gave me more respect. Girls noticed me. It felt like I was actually a member of society for once lol.
As someone whos bounced around from fat, to to athletic to crashing my hormones and getting gyno and bouncing back to natty I have a very clear observation on how looks is EVERYTHING and the power of hormones is HUGE. It taught me alot..

At this point I truthfully feel like it would solve all my problems. Lol And for some people it seems like its the ultimate cheat code to success. And other people say it's a trap and it's going to ruin your life and turn you gay and give you gyno and have heart failure at 45 for gains a smidgen better then creatine. Lol

I can't tell if people are just gate keeping it and it's a miracle or if it really is a trap and I'll end up dying early and a slave to the needle for barely any gains. Lol

I'm not expecting to be Chris bumstead. I just want to turn heads and be noticed and respected.
I'll gladly pin this shit. I guess I just wonder is the juice worth the squeeze? I'm just afraid of making this lifelong choice and overlooking some variables that Ill wish I took into consideration years down the road. I'm afraid of regret. But I'm also afraid of regretting not starting sooner.

-How has it changed your life?
-How long have you been on it?
-Why did you start?
-do you regret it?
-were you able to still have kids?
-how did it help or hurt your social life?

As someone with a similar story, but doesnt regularly lift weights or have bodybuilding adjacent goals, rather i do combat sports. i will offer my 2 cents. Take with a grain of salt.

You are only just getting to the age where T levels will decline. The main question you asked that would indicate a strong NO is you are concerned about having kids.

I have a friend who is a month older than i am at age 42, he started dosing Testosterone at your age and did regular cycling followed by PCT because he knew he wanted kids. Now he and his 30 year old wife are trying to conceive but his swimmers just wont swim anymore. I waited until i was 41 to start taking TRT when i tested at 250 ng/dl. I already have 2 kids and my wife had her tubes tied 5 years ago so that part of life was over for me anyway. TRT helped me lose weight pretty easily in the gym, but im set up not on cycles but rather to take it forever.

At a moderate dosage, ive been seeing significant gains and few side effects. but largely my advice is not to start if you plan to have kids based on my anecdotal experiences. Im sure there are plenty here who know how to bob and weave the hormonal changes to get the best of both worlds but us dads tend to favor the safe route.

 

[amicedrot]

As a 22yr old on gear. Imma give u my take. Might be repetitive to other's reply but here's my honest take.

I’ll keep it real with you. A lot of what you wrote has nothing to do with testosterone levels and everything to do with confidence, presence, and how you carry yourself.

I’m not anti-gear. I run it. It helped my physique, my drive, my confidence. But it didn’t magically fix every insecurity or social dynamic.

Imma be dead honest, no one I know or met after taking gear has changed their perception of me, or treated me different on and off gear, while I was fat, skinny, jacked.

Surprisingly everyone sees through the physique/muscle, no one who get's enough time to get to know you remotely gives one single fuck. Take it form me, u get more attention from boys tbh.

What it did do was give me a solid foundation to build on, the work outside the gym was still on me. Ur reasoning/decision to take gear should be based on ur ambitions and goals not on ur predicaments/issues within ur life.


Here’s the reality from experience:

• TRT won’t turn you into a new person, maybe boost ur confidence but that's not rly a reason to go ahead
  
  
• Blasting will absolutely change your physique faster than anything natty, but tbh the "blasting" part is the easiest thing, you just have to inject 500mg test and ur now blasting gear, the hardest is consistently tracking, training, monitoring and constantly being on point, as when you start using PED's, u have to be 100% on point or you're wasting your time and long term health for nothing.
  
  
• Your voice, presence, and confidence come more from posture, composure, and self-respect than from hormones. TRT might help a bit, but it won’t fix the “being ignored” dynamic on its own.
  
  
• The respect you want comes once you build an identity you actually believe in, not from 500mg test alone, take it from someone who ran 680mg tren and no one gave a single fuck, most people just told me: "hey, did u gain weight?", not muscle, weight. They simply don't gave a single fuck.
  
  
• If you’re already this affected by how people treat you, you need to focus on the psychological side at the same time as the physiological, or you’ll blast and still feel the same inside.

As for the practical side:

• I’ve been on for a while.
  
  
• No regrets because I made the decision intentionally and knew the long-term tradeoffs.
  
  
• Kids are still possible, but you need HCG and/or a fertility protocol, don’t just assume, and nothing is guaranteed.
  
  
• Social life improved because I became more decisive and less insecure, not because test turned me into an alpha cartoon character.
  
  
• The trap only happens when people expect gear to fix their entire identity. It won’t. It just boosts what you already are.
  The “miracle or trap” thing depends on the person. Guys who do the work do great. Guys who rely on the needle to fix everything always regret it.

My advice? Don’t start because you want respect from other people.
Using gear means you intentionally accept possible the trade offs, and have an ambition and are prepared to commit long-term to training, consistrenly monitoring health and having to spend time and money to manage and keep it running smooth. I swear my cycle support is more expensive/complex than running 1g test + 1g tren.
And accepting u might never produce naturally like u are rn/kids and fertility are never a guarantee.

If you do it with the right mindset, it can absolutely improve your physique, your drive, and how you feel about yourself. Just don’t expect it to replace the inner work.

Bro your story spoke to me but not in the expected way, notably the part about getting more attention from other dudes. I have this super fast custom ebike i built to get to and from work to save gas money and avoid traffic. my wife hates the idea of me cruising down by the beach to get to the resort i work at because she thinks all the women will be giving me attention. but funny story, girls aint looking at a guy riding his bike to work no matter how fast it goes. Plenty of dudes want me to waste time talking about my bike tho. too funny. thought id share