Feeling dead inside 6 months post PCT from Test NPP cycle

Danex87

New Member
I did what was probably my fifth cycle at the beginning of the year using test e and NPP (350mg each pw) for about 5 months (3 for NPP) and felt pretty normal for the most part. Had some personal shit happen so I hopped off and PCT’d in June, 50 days of nolva and got bloods in September. Bloods showed:

Estradiol 43 pg/ml
FSH 25.7 miu/ml
LH 18.2 miu/ml
Total test 742 ng/dl
Free test 119.8 pg/ml

I took a tiny bit of exemestane 4 times over 2 weeks to knock down the estradiol as I thought that was causing the issue but it got even worse.
I thought I’d bounced back since test didnt look too bad but honestly since pct started I’ve felt worse and worse. Anhedonia to the max it’s like I don’t have a single drop of dopamine in my body.
The thought of sex repulses me and I used to pretty much be a sex addict. I got a more comprehensive test yesterday (dec 24) for a better insight and have a few of the results. Prolactin is normal, but the abnormalities I have so far are:

SHBG is 65 nmol/l
FSH 17.7 miu/ml
LH 13.5 miu/ml
DHEA sulfate 552 ug/dl

I haven’t gotten the T or E back yet but was wondering if anyone had any insight with these numbers? I’m 38 male, 5’8 and 150lbs of it lends any context and I’ll update when more results come in I just need some idea of what’s happening to me.
I’ve always bounced back quick after a cycle but this has been 6 months of a slow decline into severe anhedonia and a dead dick. I wake up every day with zero will to get out of bed and face the day because there’s just no joy whatsoever to feel.
I don’t know how much longer I can ride it out for but i won’t do anything to hurt myself. On the same coin I also hope I don’t wake up on a morning, it’s too much to bear honestly.
 
It messes with me too much and after this I just wanna steer clear of it. My test is usually in a normal range for my age so I was using to to get ahead for vanity purposes, now I just want my health back
 
It messes with me too much and after this I just wanna steer clear of it. My test is usually in a normal range for my age so I was using to to get ahead for vanity purposes, now I just want my health back
This is one of those risks everyone talks about. Your natural test might be shut down. You should go talk to a dr. TRT might be the answer. It sounds alot like you have very low test. Symptoms mimic depression
 
This is one of those risks everyone talks about. Your natural test might be shut down. You should go talk to a dr. TRT might be the answer. It sounds alot like you have very low test. Symptoms mimic depression
My free and total test range from bloods I did in September said normal, if these new ones come back off maybe but from the sept tests those are within range
 
It messes with me too much and after this I just wanna steer clear of it.

Sure it wasn't the NPP messing with you? Because usually it's the NPP/Tren that causes "personal shit happening", not Test.

I don’t know how much longer I can ride it out for but i won’t do anything to hurt myself.

I would go back on Test (propionate) and keep my estrogen in a healthy range. Before doing anything stupid or coping with drugs/alcohol.
 
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