Hello Old Friends, The Old School Meso WatchDog is back... member since 2003

Bigbillybear

New Member
Hello Brothers and Sisters,

For those that remember me from the old classified days I want to say I missed you guys so much but so much has happened in my life since and here is a taste...

For those that don't know me or remember me I was known as meso's watchdog in their classifieds and looked out for the ape man at the time and all the other scammers... Have a long history with BBing and BBing forums starting with those that can remember Arnian's board which was one of the first boards out (was mod and admin but NOT in business with) then Freakz, etc etc... Then tested gear for one company that was even in muscular development mag (much later after I was the guinea pig, but hey it was free and a lot.... and good.... you get the point)..

Well became a corpsman, or corman as they like to call it, in the Navy but was always with the Marines on the ground... My background was science and of course gear and prohormones were my focus being a meat head... Those days were educational and I learned even more and informed my brothers especially the special forces bros who wanted an edge (hey they took the chances not me)...

Well after PTSD set in and I was back home, was in a fight with a meth head that took 6 deputies to get him cuffed and that lead to me almost breaking my back... So now depressed and had 2 back surgeries ending in a spinal fusion and my wife of 16 years just up and left when I needed her the most taking all my (our) money saved, and my time share which she now shows a new man at the beach at my time share on her facebook page... totaled my 4 door Colorado truck after paying 6 years with zero interest and only 32k miles (no not drunk or on drugs because trust me they tried everything to say I was on something)... For some reason they mentioned that I had empty 5 hour energy drinks laying around and that was suspicious??? Please someone school me on that... 20 staples in my head later and Im out...

Well still depressed and trying to cope when in January I was found unresponsive in my house and after waking up 3 days later in the hospital I was told that I would have died within hours after being found if they hadn't called 911... I had just awakened from a drug induced coma and I was battling double pneumonia and two doctors were standing by my bed when I demanded to be let go as I hadn't signed any papers saying they could treat me... I was informed that's fine however I would be either dead or back in the hospital if I left then... I was talked into staying after hearing that and that began a very long stay in the hospital and then a few weeks inpatient in physical rehab learning to walk again... Got home not long ago and finally got out of the wheel chair and now I am able to walk my dogs a very short distance... I was given fully favorable decision of being disabled however have not received a dime due to it being pulled for quality assurance that I heard was 1 in 100 of a chance and my bad luck continued and I was selected... This I am told may take months longer and they can even change my judge ordered decision so who knows...

Guess what STILL DEPRESSED and am told still PTSD and yes thought about ending it all many times... Having to take many meds including pain, bp, cholesterol, diabetic, nerve, etc... Just being able to walk around the street a little is a huge move for me... And that's where I am today

Now after a near death experience (more then once but this one actually got me closer then anything in my past) my eyes have been opened and I want to get back in touch with my many old friends and use this board and our lifestyle for support and to help me heal... I want to help those based on my experiences and get back what was taken from me (I lost 100 bs in the hospital in just a few months and we all know that in shock your body takes calories to survive from muscle)... I want my health back and my muscle!!!

So many Ive missed but you can see I've been busy so forgive my absence and please except me back onto these awesome forums... After reading a lot I think you guys are going to be schooling me lol....

BBB
 
I appreciate your service Sir, I hope to get to know you better. I'm sure you have a wealth of knowledge and experience, hopefully I will be lucky enough to receive some of that in my time here.
 
Bros,

Many thanks guys Im just glad the service gets support from the people unlike the Vietnam days... I still wake up crying or in shell shock from Iraq/Afghanistan I should have gotten out sooner but wanted to actually retire in the military but they wouldn't let me due to PTSD.... Yeah they bailed on me but there are many here Im sure in or was in the service and know they do not want ya unless you upgrade your status every enlistment yet they will keep taking our under experienced reserve brothers and throw their feet to the flames.. I know we were fighting insurgents not the locals and those insurgents would have been here in our country killing our wives and children because they are cowards so I do support being there... However now we are just up and leaving in hordes and leaving those countries to support themselves against these insurgents... The Taliban will retake afgan mark my words and nothing will change other then we killed a lot of terrorists... This however just makes more as they are martyrs and Obama giving in and giving up 5 top Taliban leaders for a Sgt that walked off his base for some unknown reason??? This was not done without a cause I can promise you that, this guy hurt us all and we will pay with blood because of those 5 who might can relight the fight against us...

Sorry for the political rant but when you see what I have seen you know you don't just wonder off base unless you are up to something... If I have offended anyone please except my apology especially to those that have lost loved family members but honestly it was a fight against those that would be in our country now plotting just like they did on 9/11... God bless ya brother and sisters still in the fight but they didn't want me anymore and didn't allow me to retire when I was so close... Now I feel like a disgrace for not being involved and that I let people down... oh well life goes on with or without ones spouse, I love her new picture on facebook that shows her with her new man at OUR timeshare...

There I go again rambling sorry fellas lol... They say I need to talk to get it out of me so please forgive me but I may do this from time to time lol...

BBB
 
I'm happy to see some boys goin home, but with numbers being drastically reduced in an effort to limit our involvement the region is growing increasingly more active each day. Things are about to get interesting...
Bowe Bergdahl can rot... I cry for the mothers of the boys that tried to save his pathetic ass
 
Semper Fi marine... You know us navy guys (well the ones who have the privilege of getting to know you) when we ship you places and even better yet guys like me who have to tend to your heroic deeds!!! Which always ended up with some form of shrapnel or bullet in you that I had to risk getting a bullet to the head to save you guys (will never complain, it was a complete honor)... I have to say and Im sure its with all branches but I only was around the Marines when it came to combat and I will say I made it out because of more then one situation where you guys were so carefree with your lives...

Like its always said, we never fought for our leaders but for our brothers right next to us... I said that to much and I didn't get reenlisted so I could retire from the service... Of course that wasn't the only reason, if it even was a reason lol I know I was under so much stress that I contemplated suicide more then once as did many others... many succeeded... too many... I would get a guy who would admit to me he was drinking opium tea or what have you and he was addicted and what could I do for him, and the militaries answer was to me when I asked about this to my superiors "You can report his name and we will do the rest"... I asked what was the "rest" and he stated "discharge them of course".... What an F-ing joke... I was there to help these guys who had to deal with PTSD and some severe cases as well as so much physical pain from bad backs to healing bullet wounds in non life threatening places or what have you and if you became dependent then you had to just shut up and take it or try to stop taking them/it yourself or you would be discharged... So many brothers and sisters who are still over there cover their pain with anything they can and nothing is being done for these people... Yeah if you have a permanent problem they will keep supplying you but don't ask for help to get off those meds that THEY put you on.... Sorry again another rant....

Don't get me wrong I loved my job and my brothers and sisters who shared the same mud (well sand) and my dad never got to see any of this as he died when I was 25... Happy fathers day dad...

Again sorry for the ranting lol but they said it would help and honestly it is!!!

BBB
 
Ask any combat Marine and they will tell you their "corman" or Doc the most respected member of the unit. When needed, we called and knew the Doc would be there, regardless of the shit flying everywhere. For that, we are eternally grateful for them.

Combat veterans share a demon in them, I was able to eventually understand this. Realized it wasn't just my demon and just as in combat, you need to rely on those brothers to your right and left. I was fortunate, to have those brothers near, as I eventually retired after 30 yrs. and had great support from my wife, kids and family. Unfortunately, there are too many brothers and sisters that were left behind by a system for so long, ignored, refused to acknowledge, refused to act on or even validate this demon. Since they have, albeit being dragged, kicking and streaming, their response to help has been woefully inadequate. Still, there are now some very good organizations out there now that do provide help.

Gotta go, kids & gkids rolling up. 10 gkids! They're like 2 fire teams when they are here, causing D&D everywhere. Good Luck and Godspeed brother.


By the way, T.E.K.. I'm right there with your sentiments and just check out the news. Same fucking story, different fucking country!
 
Lived in the Barracks with our corpsman for 2 years while state side, Doc Petty was his name, a very good friend indeed. I considered him a grunt/MARINE, in every sense of the word. He had my back and I his!

Many moons ago.

Semper Fi- HARD CHARGER!

Pick that head up, and reclaim ur life!!! U owe it to urself!!!
 
Greendog,

10 children all at once is worse then two fire teams lmao... I love that... I have no children and it was a lonely day yesterday (Fathers day)... I'm so thankful of your service, such a long one at that and can say that you made me smile... thanks bro

Casca,

Thank you so much for the love bro... I do owe it to myself and to all of YOU who have to deal with a normal life again... Im having trouble doing so but its words like this from you guys that makes me want to accomplish something... You guys make me proud to be an honorary marine!!!! You sound like you could be any of the ones I served with as I feel like I already know you guys personally....

BBB
 

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