How much do you feel “good”?

[Barny]

That phrase can help, just puts realistic expectations to things.

Absolutely!! Had to come to terms with the fact everyday is different and sometimes life throws a curve ball at you. Just got to take a second to reflect if its worth stressing about and then prioritise from there.

Just hoping I can get my office back soon. Keeping work and play separate is a lot harder when you're always in the same environment haha.

 

[MFAAS]

How much of the year would you say you feel good?

or productive/accomplishment as this usually makes me feel the best out of everything.

with covid trying to find positive outlets to feel more consistently good.

I would say in 1 month time i feel good probably half of the time and a quarter of the time below average then the other quarter feel like a bum. At this point in my life. I have gone through much worse, and have worked hard to get where i am now. But hoping there is more consistancy, in the future.

then when i accomplish a task that i have been working hard for this feels great. Maybe 2x a year.

especially with no work.

Would you say you feel consistantly good?
what makes you feel this way?

I started using this app called Bearable that lets you track all aspects of your mood, any meds you take, different factors in your day like how busy/stressed you are, how you slept-- basically anything as it is customizable so you can add your own custom factors. I HIGHLY recommend it for giving anyone insight into their mood and what different things affect it.

I used to struggle (still do, sometimes) with horrible depression. I was on tons of meds like antidepressants, benzos, sleeping pills, adderall, opioids, from age 12 or so up until I was about 24 when I decided to say fuck that shit and quit the meds. It was very, very hard. I have found since getting on TRT I am depressed a LOT less and have less mood swings. I find things like benzos, weed, and other drugs to negatively impact my mood. Exercise helps, but specifically getting enough sleep (I have insomnia) and going outside in the sunshine (even in winter on a cold day) helps my mood more than anything.

Up until about 4 years ago, I used to "good" literally a couple months out of the year, usually in the summer from about April until August would be my best months but I would still have really bad days then too.. I would smoke weed to mask the pain, but I was struggling and in the end weed was making it worse... On really bad days I would have suicide ideation, just like I get fixated on wanting to not be alive anymore, or just wanting to be asleep. Now that has literally reversed to where I feel crappy a month or two out of the year and the rest I feel pretty good. Diet also made a big difference for me, I notice days where I eat more sugary foods I don't feel as good about myself. This has also been shown as gut microbiome is a huge influencer of mental health. 80% of our serotonin is made in the gut.

One thing that has made a massive difference for me as well is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It is designed to change the way you think, to change your perspective. It is not easy, but it works very well. Based off your comment I feel like it could help you a lot, specifically with feeling like a bum or like you aren't accomplishing anything. Also just 10 mins of meditation each day makes me feel better, less stressed, and like I am doing something that is good for me.

My favorite things to do that make me feel good:
- go outside for a hike
- go outside for a bike ride
- lifting or cardio
- doing something, like anything around the house: cleaning, fixing something, cooking
- planning trips or having something planned to look forward to is great too. Even just a 3 or 4 day weekend getaway has been shown to improve mood and stress levels quite a bit!

Light therapy (SAD lamp, at least 10,000 lux) works too for winter blues. You have to do it consistently though, I am bad about it. I always start off the winter really strong then by about end of december I fall off with it and find Jan/Feb to be the worst months for me. I start back up and after 3 or 4 days of use it makes a positive impact again.

Hope this helps...I know it is a lot to unpack! If nothing else, on a day when you're feeling crappy start looking into/reading about some of these things to take your mind off feeling like poo!

One last thing I just thought if that is also HUGE: fuck social media. Facebook is fucking poison, instagram is like a cancer that eats away and destroys your body image and self worth and makes you feel terrible and unaccomplished in life, twitter is just a cesspool of disgust. Reddit is a time sucker that can be OK if you follow the right subs for you and don't fill your feed with stuff. The News is also very toxic and addicting, they simply peddle ANGER to people and call it news. Forums like this are alright IMO, just don't sit and spend too much time on them. The less time I spend on social media, the happier I am AND the more grateful I become for the things in MY life, instead of comparing to others and fixating on the body I don't have or the money or the vacations I don't take.

Anyone feel free to ask any questions you like. We're all here together and while we're on the topic another thing that makes me feel good is when I can pass on something to another person that might improve their life

 

[BigBaldBeardGuy]

I started using this app called Bearable that lets you track all aspects of your mood, any meds you take, different factors in your day like how busy/stressed you are, how you slept-- basically anything as it is customizable so you can add your own custom factors. I HIGHLY recommend it for giving anyone insight into their mood and what different things affect it.

I used to struggle (still do, sometimes) with horrible depression. I was on tons of meds like antidepressants, benzos, sleeping pills, adderall, opioids, from age 12 or so up until I was about 24 when I decided to say fuck that shit and quit the meds. It was very, very hard. I have found since getting on TRT I am depressed a LOT less and have less mood swings. I find things like benzos, weed, and other drugs to negatively impact my mood. Exercise helps, but specifically getting enough sleep (I have insomnia) and going outside in the sunshine (even in winter on a cold day) helps my mood more than anything.

Up until about 4 years ago, I used to "good" literally a couple months out of the year, usually in the summer from about April until August would be my best months but I would still have really bad days then too.. I would smoke weed to mask the pain, but I was struggling and in the end weed was making it worse... On really bad days I would have suicide ideation, just like I get fixated on wanting to not be alive anymore, or just wanting to be asleep. Now that has literally reversed to where I feel crappy a month or two out of the year and the rest I feel pretty good. Diet also made a big difference for me, I notice days where I eat more sugary foods I don't feel as good about myself. This has also been shown as gut microbiome is a huge influencer of mental health. 80% of our serotonin is made in the gut.

One thing that has made a massive difference for me as well is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It is designed to change the way you think, to change your perspective. It is not easy, but it works very well. Based off your comment I feel like it could help you a lot, specifically with feeling like a bum or like you aren't accomplishing anything. Also just 10 mins of meditation each day makes me feel better, less stressed, and like I am doing something that is good for me.

My favorite things to do that make me feel good:
- go outside for a hike
- go outside for a bike ride
- lifting or cardio
- doing something, like anything around the house: cleaning, fixing something, cooking
- planning trips or having something planned to look forward to is great too. Even just a 3 or 4 day weekend getaway has been shown to improve mood and stress levels quite a bit!

Light therapy (SAD lamp, at least 10,000 lux) works too for winter blues. You have to do it consistently though, I am bad about it. I always start off the winter really strong then by about end of december I fall off with it and find Jan/Feb to be the worst months for me. I start back up and after 3 or 4 days of use it makes a positive impact again.

Hope this helps...I know it is a lot to unpack! If nothing else, on a day when you're feeling crappy start looking into/reading about some of these things to take your mind off feeling like poo!

One last thing I just thought if that is also HUGE: fuck social media. Facebook is fucking poison, instagram is like a cancer that eats away and destroys your body image and self worth and makes you feel terrible and unaccomplished in life, twitter is just a cesspool of disgust. Reddit is a time sucker that can be OK if you follow the right subs for you and don't fill your feed with stuff. The News is also very toxic and addicting, they simply peddle ANGER to people and call it news. Forums like this are alright IMO, just don't sit and spend too much time on them. The less time I spend on social media, the happier I am AND the more grateful I become for the things in MY life, instead of comparing to others and fixating on the body I don't have or the money or the vacations I don't take.

Anyone feel free to ask any questions you like. We're all here together and while we're on the topic another thing that makes me feel good is when I can pass on something to another person that might improve their life

Thanks for taking the time to write this up. Good stuff in there for sure.

I’ve never been diagnosed with anything basically because doctors suck and the “medicine” that they have in their toolbox doesn’t do anything. It just masks. I use to do that with alcohol and that never worked either. I think I might have a fun blend of mental health issues. Sometimes depression, sometimes manic/depressive disorder, sometimes borderline personality disorder, lots of disassociation, anxiety, probably a little narcissism. I’d be a nightmare to treat. Prozac, Wellbutrin and Zoloft only magnified the issues - like badly, like I’m one of those people that loose it on SSRIs that was scary shit and I can’t believe doctors don’t monitor the potential dangers. They also each told me that the medicine “works differently than the other you didn’t respond well to”.

So, I can feel fucking amazing, happy, productive, normal, for days, weeks, months until I don’t. The bottom drops out and I can just feel off. Like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. When I’m off, I’m physically uncomfortable and my priority is simply to not feel that way. I lash out, blame, and I’m not exactly rational. That’s the borderline personality disorder (I think). I’m not rational, but thinking with my emotional brain. It’s very hard to get out of that because it’s not me. Meditation doesn’t work because I can’t stop thinking about how shitty I feel. During bad periods of that, suicide ideation is definitely strong - just to get rid of the discomfort. And as quick as it hits, I’m back to normal. Just like Jekyll and Hyde I have only vague recollection of some things and I feel ashamed, weak, and embarrassed.

It’s not crippling. I have a strong will so I push thru and “function” same way as I did when I was a functioning alcoholic. That strong stubborn will also allowed me to quit drinking cold turkey 10 years ago. But “functioning” results in some collateral damage to people close to me. Simply because I’m not the real me, I’m like a bad stranger. Never violent, never abusive, but not present and not as engaged. Just a blank faced down version of myself.

I thought I could find a pattern for a while but it’s random. When I feel “good” is probably 70% of the time. When I feel bad, it’s pretty bad.

 

[MFAAS]

Thanks for taking the time to write this up. Good stuff in there for sure.

I’ve never been diagnosed with anything basically because doctors suck and the “medicine” that they have in their toolbox doesn’t do anything. It just masks. I use to do that with alcohol and that never worked either. I think I might have a fun blend of mental health issues. Sometimes depression, sometimes manic/depressive disorder, sometimes borderline personality disorder, lots of disassociation, anxiety, probably a little narcissism. I’d be a nightmare to treat. Prozac, Wellbutrin and Zoloft only magnified the issues - like badly, like I’m one of those people that loose it on SSRIs that was scary shit and I can’t believe doctors don’t monitor the potential dangers. They also each told me that the medicine “works differently than the other you didn’t respond well to”.

So, I can feel fucking amazing, happy, productive, normal, for days, weeks, months until I don’t. The bottom drops out and I can just feel off. Like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. When I’m off, I’m physically uncomfortable and my priority is simply to not feel that way. I lash out, blame, and I’m not exactly rational. That’s the borderline personality disorder (I think). I’m not rational, but thinking with my emotional brain. It’s very hard to get out of that because it’s not me. Meditation doesn’t work because I can’t stop thinking about how shitty I feel. During bad periods of that, suicide ideation is definitely strong - just to get rid of the discomfort. And as quick as it hits, I’m back to normal. Just like Jekyll and Hyde I have only vague recollection of some things and I feel ashamed, weak, and embarrassed.

It’s not crippling. I have a strong will so I push thru and “function” same way as I did when I was a functioning alcoholic. That strong stubborn will also allowed me to quit drinking cold turkey 10 years ago. But “functioning” results in some collateral damage to people close to me. Simply because I’m not the real me, I’m like a bad stranger. Never violent, never abusive, but not present and not as engaged. Just a blank faced down version of myself.

I thought I could find a pattern for a while but it’s random. When I feel “good” is probably 70% of the time. When I feel bad, it’s pretty bad.

Yeah I know when I get into the place where the floor falls out really all I can do is try to distract myself, I'll play video games or try to watch something although sometimes I lose it and just have to stare at a wall for a while, and keep reminding myself that I will feel better in a few hours, or sometimes I just keep repeating the mantra "I'll just try again tomorrow."

I'm kinda in a similar boat as you now too, where my issues are just untreated/self-treated. I responded badly to most antidepressants, the one I landed on was effexor which caused horrible physical dependence and withdrawals and took about 9 months after weaning off to stop having angry outbursts and freakouts.

Meditation does not work during those episodes for me either, I am just too fixated and out of control to will myself into happiness. Personally, I would definitely recommend distraction over meditation during bad depressive episodes, particularly if suicide ideation is present. But what's really incredible about it is that if you do it consistently at other times it actually changes your brain structure. It reduces the matter in the amygdala, which is responsible for anxiety and stress, and increases it in the hippocampus, which is responsible for learning and memory as well as in spots associated with compassion and self awareness. This was shown to happen in as little as just 8 weeks, and although the study was smaller and the participants reportedly meditated for almost 30 mins daily, perhaps the same changes could occur in 12 weeks of 10-15 minute sessions. To me it is something that can increase my feeling good to feeling bad ratio. So instead of feeling good 80% of the time, maybe it is 85 or 90%, and maybe my good goes from a 6 to a 7 on the scale of happiness. It doesn't seem to change the low points as far as severity, but I definitely find I feel more resilient to stress and less lows overall (although I will admit there are a lot of other factors, too).

I commend you, seriously, for quitting drinking. I've struggled with addiction (opioids, I think I shared a bit in a different thread) and that shit is NOT easy. You should be very proud of that accomplishment man! Alcohol/GABAergic withdrawals can be really particularly horrible too. I think sometimed the best we can do is explain our demons, to some extent, to the people we love/who are close to us, so when the episodes happen and things are bad (which, in the moment, I know the last thing I want to do is explain it all) they recognize. I have picked and chosen which things I tell certain people, but it's enough that if I neglect them or lash out with some bad sass I can say "I'm really sorry I am just feeling really, really bad the last few days. Let's try again tomorrow." and they'll at least know what's up.

 

[BobbySweeney]

Dha
Choline
Uridine

 

[Methyl Mike]

I am less happy than I suppose I would like to be yet compared to the average person I am probably much happier more often than not. Of course, I find happiness in places few think to look. Seeing my cat makes me happy and I find accomplishing things after being told they are impossible makes me very happy. Bodybuilding makes me very happy. Its all relative

 

[bigpoppachump2]

These past couple months Ive really leaned into my faith and stepped up my activity in the church and around the house.

Every Wednesday I pack up food that we purchase in bulk with donations with my fellow church members for needy families who are having a hard time making ends meet then we head out and deliver these backpacks to the people who really need it. I lately started helping out every other weekend doing handyman work with a another charity group funded by my church for the elderly building wheel chair ramps a d or modifying bathrooms and showers to accommodate them. This has been a a major boost in my outlook on things and I finally have a feeling of worth that I hadn't had in the past. I also attend a mens bible study group for men of my age group and similar lifestyles which has been great for my spiritual life as well as home life.

I've been spending more positive time with my wife and making it a point to pray with her and for her. We had a rough go of it a year ago and I thought it was mostly on her but after I did some hard self inventory of my actions and behaviors I came to see it was as much me if not more and that I wasnt being the leader of my family as God had commanded me to be so I've stepped up and took the reins and now you'd never know that rough patch was part of our history.

And one of the biggest boosts was me getting off the damn internet! I deleted my FB account since January and all other social media and have placed content sensors on my phone. Now that I'm not eyes deep in all of that garbage in the morning while I drink my coffee before work my outlook for the day has improved 10×.

And secondly I stepped back from all the hours at work I had been putting un. I was on pace to make about $116k this year but other than material gain what was the point? Especially when I had so little time to spend with my wife and family and hobbies. Im keeping it below 50hrs per week now and im physically so much more energized than I was 6 months ago. I'm still going to bring in over $85k this year doing a job I love and combine that with my wifes Postal salary of nearly the same income and we are doing just fine and under no kind of financial stress having no kids as of yet.

Last but not least I've completely revamped my diet and now stick 100% to whole clean foods. Vegetables, meat and natural spices. I try to keep it as much natural foods as I can with grass fed beef and free range chicken raised without antibiotics and hormones. This has me feeling great in the mental and physical. I really had no idea how much my diet was contributing to my arthritis flair ups (rheumatoid arthritis diagnosed this year) in my hands and knees. I wouldn't say I've cured my arthritis but its manageable at this time as where a few months ago my fingers some days felt like they were glittery broken and I was slathering Voltaren all over my hands and knees multiple times per day despite what the directions said.

I'd say I'm up to 80ish percent good these days whereas before I was running 40 to 50%. I know I painted a rosy picture above and we all know that life is never perfect but there where many things in my life that needed changing and I finally took the reins and changed them and the results have been satisfactory. Im sure there is many more slips and falls and traps waiting for me in the future but that's tomorrow and beyond and I have no control over any of that so for now I'll worry about the present whilst serving God and protecting and loving my wife lacking sure we are fed, clothed, warm and prospering.

 

[MadBret]

These past couple months Ive really leaned into my faith and stepped up my activity in the church and around the house.

Every Wednesday I pack up food that we purchase in bulk with donations with my fellow church members for needy families who are having a hard time making ends meet then we head out and deliver these backpacks to the people who really need it. I lately started helping out every other weekend doing handyman work with a another charity group funded by my church for the elderly building wheel chair ramps a d or modifying bathrooms and showers to accommodate them. This has been a a major boost in my outlook on things and I finally have a feeling of worth that I hadn't had in the past. I also attend a mens bible study group for men of my age group and similar lifestyles which has been great for my spiritual life as well as home life.

I've been spending more positive time with my wife and making it a point to pray with her and for her. We had a rough go of it a year ago and I thought it was mostly on her but after I did some hard self inventory of my actions and behaviors I came to see it was as much me if not more and that I wasnt being the leader of my family as God had commanded me to be so I've stepped up and took the reins and now you'd never know that rough patch was part of our history.

And one of the biggest boosts was me getting off the damn internet! I deleted my FB account since January and all other social media and have placed content sensors on my phone. Now that I'm not eyes deep in all of that garbage in the morning while I drink my coffee before work my outlook for the day has improved 10×.

And secondly I stepped back from all the hours at work I had been putting un. I was on pace to make about $116k this year but other than material gain what was the point? Especially when I had so little time to spend with my wife and family and hobbies. Im keeping it below 50hrs per week now and im physically so much more energized than I was 6 months ago. I'm still going to bring in over $85k this year doing a job I love and combine that with my wifes Postal salary of nearly the same income and we are doing just fine and under no kind of financial stress having no kids as of yet.

Last but not least I've completely revamped my diet and now stick 100% to whole clean foods. Vegetables, meat and natural spices. I try to keep it as much natural foods as I can with grass fed beef and free range chicken raised without antibiotics and hormones. This has me feeling great in the mental and physical. I really had no idea how much my diet was contributing to my arthritis flair ups (rheumatoid arthritis diagnosed this year) in my hands and knees. I wouldn't say I've cured my arthritis but its manageable at this time as where a few months ago my fingers some days felt like they were glittery broken and I was slathering Voltaren all over my hands and knees multiple times per day despite what the directions said.

I'd say I'm up to 80ish percent good these days whereas before I was running 40 to 50%. I know I painted a rosy picture above and we all know that life is never perfect but there where many things in my life that needed changing and I finally took the reins and changed them and the results have been satisfactory. Im sure there is many more slips and falls and traps waiting for me in the future but that's tomorrow and beyond and I have no control over any of that so for now I'll worry about the present whilst serving God and protecting and loving my wife lacking sure we are fed, clothed, warm and prospering.

Good to see you back around and to hear you are doing well. Take care , bud.

 

[Ridethelightningbarefoot]

Im like you 50/50. Where the smallest percentage is just straight depression. Ive found the more positivity you look for the more you find. You have believe you deserve more happiness. You also have to remove negative people. This is a tricky one because when we reach out lows a helping hand is always awesome but if everyone is trying to remove negativity then we all suffer alone which is bad

 

[jJjburton]

Im like you 50/50. Where the smallest percentage is just straight depression. Ive found the more positivity you look for the more you find. You have believe you deserve more happiness. You also have to remove negative people. This is a tricky one because when we reach out lows a helping hand is always awesome but if everyone is trying to remove negativity then we all suffer alone which is bad

When i stay busy and work, i am like 70/30. But when i dont have work or anything to do, its rough. I think accomplishing tasks really helps. Bordem is the devil.

also surrounding yourself with good people is huge. I agree with that.

 

[bigpoppachump2]

When i stay busy and work, i am like 70/30. But when i dont have work or anything to do, its rough. I think accomplishing tasks really helps. Bordem is the devil.

also surrounding yourself with good people is huge. I agree with that.

100% agree with you. Accomplishing tasks in your private life does wonders for ones happiness and contentment. I bust butt all week for my company and I'm payed well for it but I feel so much more satisfaction when I accomplish tasks and projects at home or helping others.