how to deal with loneliness

[PermaBlastingTren]

for a while now i've felt quite alone. i've lost a lot of friends and nobody attempts to go out of their way and make me a part of their lives. Believe it or not im a really nice person, i always put others first and i am friendly to everyone, i don't believe in putting others down. i am very confident and extroverted, have no issue with talking to people. Despite this it seems like nobody wants me around and i am always just there. I never get asked out by any women nowadays. i always talk to women, im not that ugly, dress nice and carry myself well. i have things in common with everyone and can chat or relate to them with just about everything. I've tried talking to people who share bodybuilding as a hobby too, same thing. Not exactly sure where to go from here. If anyone's been in a similar position or has questions to ask that might get a better perspective on my situation please do. all help is appreciated

 

[HeatherSwanson]

The nicest people i know are often the ones that get fucked the hardest in life.

All the cannon men i know, no matter the arena - business, sales, leadership ect are their because of their edge. They are sharp, indifferent and command respect through example and expectation of those around them.

This doesn't mean be a dick, but it also doesn't mean be a "nice guy". There's a book called No More Mr Nice guy, get it and read it.

If you're lonely, people will also pickup on that. Thats something that will feed into itself unfortunately. Like a weird feminine " man" chasing a girl will push them away, they can sense the neediness. Chicks don't like nice guys. I learned that when I was 20. As soon as I started not taking girls seriously and was a bit of a dickhead dating was all of a sudden on easy mode, they'd come to me. You hear this story often, hottie dating an indifferent guy that doesnt call her back ect... Because he's outcome independent and self reliant.

It sounds like you might have low self esteem or not understand your own value. Good news, this can be fixed with learning how to fight. I have recommended this to many clients and its changes their lives - go to a dojo and learn how to hurt people. The confidence of knowing how to fuck people up will give you a real like exp boost to charisma, when you're really good in 12 months, enter a comp, its a fantastic talking point and people love hearing about that stuff. Also, there is 50% less dickheads in martial arts percapita.

There's a difference between being peaceful and harmless. People don't respect the latter nearly as much as someone with edge, honed and sharp that is directed at mastery. Get fucking good at something, like really good. Could be anything, just be passionate about it and people will be drawn to that. I spent 20 mins talking to a nerd at Christmas time in the grocery store about some card game called magik and hes now hanging out with some of my buddies - passion is cool

Reading
No more mr nice guy - Robert glover
Rational male - rollo thomasi
48 laws of power - robert Greene

 

[PermaBlastingTren]

i'm a pretty tough guy when it comes need to be, if i think i need to fuck someone up i will. I definitely don't chase women either but i think you are right about not knowing my worth. I always feel like "the man" or a cool dude. I am nice but i can definitely be a dick when i want to be. maybe people just sense that there's something off with me, figure it might be not knowing my worth or feeling down a lot.

 

[PermaBlastingTren]

i think people may be too intimidated by me. bigger than everyone, mature, older looking etc. i have a bigger presence and everyone respects me and acts different around me to gain respect.

 

[laclark89]

Get a pet

 

[Ruru_Teh_seks]

There's bound to be a girl waiting for you somewhere, one day or another. Have you tried community Discord or online games?
A pet can be nice too. I have a rabbit that lives free in the house.

 

[Nidus]

Get a Cat or Dog, best friend you can have

 

[egonormical1010]

i think people may be too intimidated by me. bigger than everyone, mature, older looking etc. i have a bigger presence and everyone respects me and acts different around me to gain respect.

I can assure you no one is acting different around you to gain your respect.

 

[Jaw182022]

Do you suffer from depression? I know I've always felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness throughout my life, which I thought lead to my life chronic depressive state. Recently had a traumatic life event that was too much to handle, and talked to my Dr about depression meds. The meds helped, and I noticed I didn't have that sense of loneliness anymore. However, the depression meds come with sides sometimes. I had the side effect of not being able to orgasm on the meds, but am starting to experiment with some peptides to see if I can over come that because I really don't want to stop the depression meds.

 

[nullandvoid]

How old are you? I've found as I've gotten older, I've gotten numb to all of the things that used to hurt. I actually prefer solitude, now. I don't really ever experience boredom now, either. I can literally sit there, staring at a wall, and simply "be," without any negative experience. I'm in my own peaceful bubble, white noise playing 24/7 to ensure I hear nothing of my neighbors who don't seem to understand that drawers and doors can be closed without force. Honestly, it's bliss when the mind finally shuts off.

 

[buck]

Seems i am often the opposite from you other then being older myself and a nice enough guy. And have the same outcome. But i don't sweat it as i find me better company then most people i run into.

 

[PermaBlastingTren]

Do you suffer from depression? I know I've always felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness throughout my life, which I thought lead to my life chronic depressive state. Recently had a traumatic life event that was too much to handle, and talked to my Dr about depression meds. The meds helped, and I noticed I didn't have that sense of loneliness anymore. However, the depression meds come with sides sometimes. I had the side effect of not being able to orgasm on the meds, but am starting to experiment with some peptides to see if I can over come that because I really don't want to stop the depression meds.

i don't think im dealing with depression, i think people now days are really quick to jump to that conclusion. i definitely don't enjoy life all that much but that's about it

 

[BamaCrazy]

Hell, I’m difficult as hell to be around. And I like it that way. Between the gear and the military service it’s nice to not have to explain why I am an ass. lol. Get a pet as some have suggested. They love you even if you are an ass. They are always happy to see you and don’t get mad if you leave the toilet seat up.

And all jokes aside, if you ever need someone to talk to or are feeling down don’t hesitate to DM me or some of the other great guys here.

 

[TurboJet]

I'm over twice your age, you'll learn to appreciate your peace.

You'll learn it's nice not having someone up your ass 24/7 or having a demanding social schedule to keep up with.

I don't have two fucks to give about people thinking I'm cool or wanting to be around me.

Remember most people in your life only want to take from it not add to it.

 

[buck]

i don't think im dealing with depression, i think people now days are really quick to jump to that conclusion. i definitely don't enjoy life all that much but that's about it

That is one symptom of depression. Depression is a sliding scale from barely noticeable to suicidal. I had a Dr diagnose me with that being the only criteria that applied to me for depression. None of the other things as i followed a BB lifestyle. So i ate, slept, worked, trained on a schedule whether i felt like it or not.
If you want to be around others there is always volunteering at some charity or such thing that would bring you in contact with people that have somethings in common. And see where things go from there. One of the things i learned long ago was if one wants to get out of their own head helping others is a way to go.

 

[HeatherSwanson]

That is one symptom of depression. Depression is a sliding scale from barely noticeable to suicidal. I had a Dr diagnose me with that being the only criteria that applied to me for depression. None of the other things as i followed a BB lifestyle. So i ate, slept, worked, trained on a schedule whether i felt like it or not.
If you want to be around others there is always volunteering at some charity or such thing that would bring you in contact with people that have somethings in common. And see where things go from there. One of the things i learned long ago was if one wants to get out of their own head helping others is a way to go.

Join church group for after hours stuff, they are preachy, weird or pricks for the most part. I have volunteered a lot of the years, they're for the most part really great people that I formed great friendships with.

 

[PermaBlastingTren]

full staking ham curls today, ventricle is fucked up though, hit the vein twice in a row and fucked it

 

[narta]

for a while now i've felt quite alone. i've lost a lot of friends and nobody attempts to go out of their way and make me a part of their lives. Believe it or not im a really nice person, i always put others first and i am friendly to everyone, i don't believe in putting others down. i am very confident and extroverted, have no issue with talking to people. Despite this it seems like nobody wants me around and i am always just there. I never get asked out by any women nowadays. i always talk to women, im not that ugly, dress nice and carry myself well. i have things in common with everyone and can chat or relate to them with just about everything. I've tried talking to people who share bodybuilding as a hobby too, same thing. Not exactly sure where to go from here. If anyone's been in a similar position or has questions to ask that might get a better perspective on my situation please do. all help is appreciated

Wanna switch places?

I am old, grumpy, a dick most of the time, always bark at people (because they are stupid), never try to impress and want my peace of mind. I am f ugly, dress like a hobo sometimes outside of work, never talk to women but somehow end up talking to them.

But there is always someone that needs me to be around.

Do we have a deal?

 

[PermaBlastingTren]

Wanna switch places?

I am old, grumpy, a dick most of the time, always bark at people (because they are stupid), never try to impress and want my peace of mind. I am f ugly, dress like a hobo sometimes outside of work, never talk to women but somehow end up talking to them.

But there is always someone that needs me to be around.

Do we have a deal?

lol sure. i think it has more to do with my age. if i was older i wouldn't have to deal with to social economics of school but then again, why does it matter right now? who cares what they think, i am cooler than all of them and will never see them again after the fact

 

[narta]

and will never see them again after the fact

That right there. You got it.