How to live life more?

[Hayes88]

Sorry for a lot of text...

Might be an odd question, but I´m having a really though time here and have been for years...
When I was younger, meaning up to 25 years of age I was poor, playboy, irresponsible, spontaneous and did
every decision on a whim.
I travelled with borrowed money, did crappy decisions and collected a huge debt and a confused mind.
Though I "lived" I would say since I did a lot, experienced a lot, and met a lot of people.

Last 10 years I worked a lot on myself to change that. To become more mature, responsible, stay
loyal and consistent in relationships, and make sure that I worked towards becoming a husband
and father in the future (not yet).

Bought a house, cleared debt, started investing, and working more.
But now the other side of the extreme has become my normal. I can hardly leave the home, all my focus is
solely on my girl and economy, and even travelling more than 2 days stresses me.
I have the gym, that´s it.
I have 1 million excuses to not be doing something for myself, travelling, partying, meeting new people, taking
care of interests/ hobbies, even take a walk alone.
Just thinking about needing to be doing any of that for me makes me loose energy and avoid it, or try it
an hour and return to habit of responsibilities.

Anyone have a similar experience and/ or have tips to not end up at the extremes?
I am travelling to Korea and Japan in a month alone for me to force myself, but I am honestly not feeling
happy about it at all and that is a horrible mindset in life I feel.

 

[Megadick3000]

Not sure on tips.

But i went through a phase of working and doing the mature responsible thing. I accomplished a lot, but sacrificed most of my 20’s to do it. One day i was telling a girl i knew how much i worked, and she said “just remember work to live, dont live to work”, i shrugged it off but for weeks after her comment continued to stew in the back of my mind. Bitch was right, i was just living to work. Whats the point? It finally broke me and i was born a new person.

So i wrapped up my respinsibilities, and moved to the otherside of the world to pursue my hobbies and interests. Ive been non-stop travelling for 4+ years now (except that whole pandemic shit) and engaging in my hobbies constantly. Its a pretty sweet life to be honest, my friends back home are just struggling to survive and here i am enjoying life on the daily.

Im not sure how to summarize any particular tip that unlocks this change, so i will just say to you what she said to me, that fundamentally changed my outlook.

Dont live to work, work to live.

 

[Whopperflopper]

We are all on borrowed time. I'm going to go out like Chris Farley, not Elvis.

 

[Hayes88]

Not sure on tips.

But i went through a phase of working and doing the mature responsible thing. I accomplished a lot, but sacrificed most of my 20’s to do it. One day i was telling a girl i knew how much i worked, and she said “just remember work to live, dont live to work”, i shrugged it off but for weeks after her comment continued to stew in the back of my mind. Bitch was right, i was just living to work. Whats the point? It finally broke me and i was born a new person.

So i wrapped up my respinsibilities, and moved to the otherside of the world to pursue my hobbies and interests. Ive been non-stop travelling for 4+ years now (except that whole pandemic shit) and engaging in my hobbies constantly. Its a pretty sweet life to be honest, my friends back home are just struggling to survive and here i am enjoying life on the daily.

Im not sure how to summarize any particular tip that unlocks this change, so i will just say to you what she said to me, that fundamentally changed my outlook.

Dont live to work, work to live.

Great way to see things! I have taken all I have and moved to the other side of the world as well, and things are going great in terms of being able to take time off and afford it, just finding joy in it again seems to be the hard part.

Will try force myself more, potentially set up a schedule with the old Saturday Sunday no work and plan it beforehand lol... Gotta do something since sooner or later kids will come and life will be different in terms of being able.

 

[Demondosage]

You aren’t letting yourself live because it’s fear. I’m guessing that you have this subconscious telling you that living life is going to take away from some sort of security blanket that you’ve turned into the same self imprisonment that most men fall into.

Just like developing the habits of work and financial discipline, you’re going to need to make a habit out of living life and venturing outside of your current habits of “Mr play-it-safe, don’t have any fun.”

At first it’ll be difficult, but then you’ll see the growth and reward in the fun parts of life as well. You know how we make it a point to routinely hit the gym? You need to take that sort of discipline and plan the adventure and fun and actually follow through with it. If you don’t do this you are just a shell of a man that is trapped in the same mental prison as everyone else

 

[Hayes88]

You aren’t letting yourself live because it’s fear. I’m guessing that you have this subconscious telling you that living life is going to take away from some sort of security blanket that you’ve turned into the same self imprisonment that most men fall into.

Just like developing the habits of work and financial discipline, you’re going to need to make a habit out of living life and venturing outside of your current habits of “Mr play-it-safe, don’t have any fun.”

At first it’ll be difficult, but then you’ll see the growth and reward in the fun parts of life as well. You know how we make it a point to routinely hit the gym? You need to take that sort of discipline and plan the adventure and fun and actually follow through with it. If you don’t do this you are just a shell of a man that is trapped in the same mental prison as everyone else

This! It opened up a lot of discussions with my lady after reading this, thank you! She sees me wasting time and and talk about a million things I wanna do that I never do, so I will do just this until I land in balance of work and life. I do the same every single day now regardless of day, and of course it takes a hit on her with me wanting to head home when we are travelling, or not providing new experiences for me, her or us enough.

I would consider myself a good man, but damn I do not wanna be a boring man or one of those getting kids and be grumpy for all the things I should have done (like my parents).

Another thing is trying to not wanting to do or open up for too much. Heck when it´s 10 things you wanna do in a day you rarely do a single one of them or a few half-assed. Maybe I should ask her to refuse me until I deserve the reward ehm..

 

[Big_paul]

Make money. Make a lot of money.

 

[testisbest24]

Best tip I can give you friend Is always always always leave time in for things you like doing, No matter your workload prioritize it like the gym. It clears your head just like meditation but I feel its way more potent... Spent years without hobbies only work... developed hypertension and sleep was always bad.. Started allocating time to doing things I enjoyed in my youth, motorcycles, dirtbiking, fishing, and It completelty rejuvenated me.

 

[AlwaysHungry]

I'm at the same boat for years now. I'm only mind my business and my workouts. Yea I've noticed that I'm "boring" in contrast of who I was couple years back.
Don't enjoy shit anymore I only enjoy my work , my workouts, my meals and have a good time with woman's. I don't enjoy anymore to go partying or go out In general drinking partying all those shit I don't even enjoy traveling etc. The only thing I enjoy is swimming in the summer time.
Hey its a lonely and boring life but at least I have money I have a physique and doing good at my job.
Who the fuck told you that is a must to have fun as man's?
You're having fun at the gym , you're having fun enjoy a good meal or a good fuck.
Don't fucking overthink it bro you do the RIGHT thing , anyone who tell you otherwise they're just trying to justify their weaknesses. You must be a strong man to do the same thing everyday.
Fuck it dont overthink! Get your money , conquer! And then you just gonna have a lot of fun see your kids and your wife enjoy what have y provided for them.