My 78 year old grandfather told me this one, so it's funnier coming from him:
The state wrestling finals are coming up and chip's (the wrestler)coach, comes up to him and starts to get him pumped up. He says, you can do it, you can beat this guy, but one thing you can't let him do is get you in the pretzel hold. IF you get put in the pretzel hold you are finished. This guy is 45-0 with the pretzel hold, so whatever you fucking do, do not let him get this hold on you. So, just as the match is about to start, the coach gives him one more pep-talk and reminds him, pretzel hold means the end. Chip walks out onto the matt and the match starts. He's doing great with reversals and is doing pretty well in the match, and by the end he is sure to win. His coach is on the sidelines with about 45 seconds to go and he's jumping up and down because chip is up by so many points he has to win. The coach is screaming i can't believe it, he's going to do it, and all of the sudden, chip is in the pretzel hold. The coach is screaming get out, get out, but he can't. Just as the coach is about to give up, all the sudden the two of them jump up six feet straight in the air, chip flips on top of the other wrestler and comes down on top of him. the fall knocks the wind out of the other wrestler, and chip pins him. the crowd and the coach go apeshit and the coach runs out and screams how did you do it, how did you do it??? Chip says well, when he had me in the pretzel hold i thought i was done for sure, my body was so twisted up, i was about to tap out when all of the sudden, i look up and i see a huge pair of balls right in front of my face. So, I did what any man in my situation would have done, i looked up, and took a huge fucking bite out of them. And the coach says wow that's how you beat him huh, by biting balls huh???? Well, I guess you do what you have to do huh??? And chip replies.....Yeah, you would be surprised how high you can jump when you bite your own balls.........
funnier in person, especially coming from my grandfather.lol.
