Not an elbow to the ribs, but a slap to the shoulder.thick said:
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Jokes
- Thread starter fatboy
- Start date
Mark Kerr
New Member
A man walks into a church and begins to ask the priest questions:
Man: "Father, can a prostitute be saved?"
Priest: "Yes, contrary to what many Christians spout, prostitutes can be saved."
Then the man begins to walk out of the church.
Priest: "Son, are you going to bring the prostitute in so I can save her?"
Man: "No, but I was just curious because now I am going to go save one for Friday night!"
Yeah, it sucks, but beggers cant be choosers!
[MK]
Man: "Father, can a prostitute be saved?"
Priest: "Yes, contrary to what many Christians spout, prostitutes can be saved."
Then the man begins to walk out of the church.
Priest: "Son, are you going to bring the prostitute in so I can save her?"
Man: "No, but I was just curious because now I am going to go save one for Friday night!"
Yeah, it sucks, but beggers cant be choosers!
[MK]
dolfe1
Banned
Why did the chicken cross the road?
SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information
The chicken did not cross the road.
This is a complete fabrication, we do not even have a chicken.
GEORGE W BUSH
We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.
TONY BLAIR
I agree with George.
COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
KOFI ANAN
We have yet to pass a resolution commissioning the identification of this animal and it is far too early to discuss any road.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MARY WHITEHOUSE
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken? I don't remember a chicken
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
The eChicken2003 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your chick book - and Internet Eggsplorer is an integral part of eChicken2003.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
What is your definition of chicken?
THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?
SAEED AL SAHAF - Iraqi Head of Information
The chicken did not cross the road.
This is a complete fabrication, we do not even have a chicken.
GEORGE W BUSH
We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.
TONY BLAIR
I agree with George.
COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
KOFI ANAN
We have yet to pass a resolution commissioning the identification of this animal and it is far too early to discuss any road.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MARY WHITEHOUSE
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken? I don't remember a chicken
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
The eChicken2003 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your chick book - and Internet Eggsplorer is an integral part of eChicken2003.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON
What is your definition of chicken?
THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?
lefler
New Member
..
Last edited:
Chip Bronson
New Member
why did the leper cross the road?
to get his dick out of the chicken...
to get his dick out of the chicken...
thick
New Member
that was damn funny dolfe
dolfe1 said:
there was a guy that suffered from premature ejaculation.
he goes to the doctor and the doctor tell him that when he is about to ejaculate to fire a gun to take his mid off of sex and to scare the feeling out of him
the man goes home and tries this method with his wife.
the next day he goes back to the doctor and the doctor asks " howd it go last night?"
the man replies, " well, it turns out that me and my wife were in the 69 position and when i was about to nut i dud what you said and fired the gun and...."
the doctor insists that he tell him more.
"well i fired the gun and 3 things happened, my wife shit on my face, bit 3 inches off of my dick and the neighbor came out of the closet with his hands up"
he goes to the doctor and the doctor tell him that when he is about to ejaculate to fire a gun to take his mid off of sex and to scare the feeling out of him
the man goes home and tries this method with his wife.
the next day he goes back to the doctor and the doctor asks " howd it go last night?"
the man replies, " well, it turns out that me and my wife were in the 69 position and when i was about to nut i dud what you said and fired the gun and...."
the doctor insists that he tell him more.
"well i fired the gun and 3 things happened, my wife shit on my face, bit 3 inches off of my dick and the neighbor came out of the closet with his hands up"
Last edited:
spound
New Member
A man was drving down the street with his 4 year old son in the passenger seat on a clear sunny day. All of a sudden a huge dick came out of the sky and hit the windshield of the car and the man's son asked what was that daddy? The men repilied, "it was a bug son" then the boy said, "Man that bug sure did have a big dick!"
Whoaimskinny
New Member
here's one for ya
What did one fat ugly chick say to the other fat ugly chick?
Who fucking cares!!they're both fat and fucking ugly!!
What did one fat ugly chick say to the other fat ugly chick?
Who fucking cares!!they're both fat and fucking ugly!!
Whoaimskinny
New Member
What do you get when you combine a Polish person with a Mexican?
Someone that sprays graffiti on a chain link fence.
What do ya get when you combine a Chinese person with a Prostitute?
Someone that'll suck your laundry.
Someone that sprays graffiti on a chain link fence.
What do ya get when you combine a Chinese person with a Prostitute?
Someone that'll suck your laundry.
nick e. guns
New Member
What's the difference between a priest's dick and acne?
Acne gets on your face AFTER you turn fourteen.
Acne gets on your face AFTER you turn fourteen.
ramboj70
New Member
a polish joke,dolfe1 said:
did you here about the polish helochopter pilot that crashed?
he got cold so he turned off the fan
FTW
New Member
A tourist visiting New York City stops a passerby and says "excuse me, can you tell me where the Empire state building is or should i go and fuck myself again?"
esco
New Member
what's the difference between an american & japanese camera? -pretend taking a picture, press the button- "CRICK"
FTW
New Member
A man goes into a bar a walks up to the hotest girl there.
He says " can i buy you a drink?"
She says "sure, why not"
he says "can i get your name?"
she says " yes,my name is Carmen"
he says "thats is a beautiful name and i bet your mother named you that"
she says "no i named myself that because i like cars and i like men so i came up with the name Carmen"
he says "well Carmen may i get your phone nuber and call you sometime?"
she says "yes" and hands him the digits
she says " oh im so sorry i forgot to ask you your name"
he says " call me BEERFUCK"
He says " can i buy you a drink?"
She says "sure, why not"
he says "can i get your name?"
she says " yes,my name is Carmen"
he says "thats is a beautiful name and i bet your mother named you that"
she says "no i named myself that because i like cars and i like men so i came up with the name Carmen"
he says "well Carmen may i get your phone nuber and call you sometime?"
she says "yes" and hands him the digits
she says " oh im so sorry i forgot to ask you your name"
he says " call me BEERFUCK"
FTW
New Member
Did you hear about the blind skunk named Roco?
He got caught trying to fuck a fart.
He got caught trying to fuck a fart.
FTW
New Member
What do you say to a girl that has no tits or no ass?
Not a damn thing!
Not a damn thing!
Slick Arrado
New Member
Whoaimskinny said:What do you get when you combine a Polish person with a Mexican?
Someone that sprays graffiti on a chain link fence.
What do ya get when you combine a Chinese person with a Prostitute?
Someone that'll suck your laundry.
Hey!! I'm half Polish and half Mexican!! Well, I'm REALLY NOT!! And that was some FUNNY AZZ $HIT!!
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