Moving in with chick???

[shredalean]

Bros I know it sounds like I'm Pwipped ok so I am. I know what the people who know and hang with me will say, so I figured I'd ask you guys cause I can get unbiased advise.

I met this great girl about 2 months ago and we click! I go for hot bimbo types the kind of short and sweet relationships, she's nothing like my "ideal" bimbo girl. She's smart,young, hot, no baggage, good carreer, athlete, the list goes on and on. In six weeks I am supposed to move to NYC to finish my degree (law) and start alittle biz venture. I can't think of being without her. She feels the same way to boot. If I stay I already know I will move in with her when our leases are up in August. If I go to NYC I lose her, cause I can't do 2 years long distance. She has a minimum of 2 years in Cali to jumpstart a great carreer so moving there is not an option. Also I can finish my degree here.

So my question is it to soon to be in love with this girl or throw away my plans? If I had to move tomorrow I would stay. I realized the only reason for moving to NYC was to be a swinging dick for a couple of years. Now all I can do is think about her and that I will make a huge mistake if I leave.

One last point, she has a history of totally oposite behavior than this, so she's not some crazy clingy chick. I know cause a good freind of ours set us up. SHe says she can't believe either of us talking all this mushy shit.

Help me out or flame me,

your bro

shred

 

[wisdom]

First I need to ask how old you are, I would guess in the mid to late twenties if you are about to finish up a law degree. If that's the case I would say follow your heart bro, see where the next 6 weeks go and if your feelings get stronger, stay in Cali. The last thing you want to do is move away because you think it is too soon, and wonder what could have been for the rest of your life. It's a shitty feeling knowing you might have let "the one" go, and you would never forgive yourself.

On the other hand if going to NY means a possible advancement in your career path, that might not be the case in cali (i.e better school, higher paying job oppurtunities, etc), then I would say you're in a real shitty situation. With that said if all is the same in NY and Cali career wise, then I would definately stay and see how things pan out. Either way, you need to sit down and have a long talk with your girl, and make sure she feels the same as you bro.
wisdom

 

[supirman]

Rushing into things is usually a fairly bad idea, but love has no time frame for establishment. I loved my girl before we ever dated. We were inseperable friends for over a year before we ever dated and I was absolutely in love with her.
I will say one thing... In high school, I dated a girl that I thought I would always bee with (wtf did I know, I was 16!) and I refrained from going away to play college football to go to our local, shitty university. Then we broke up after my 1st year of college. I will, however, say that things worked out better for me this way than I ever could have imagined. Follow your heart. Find a good school where you are and do it there, unless NYC is a dream of yours. Don't be blinded and forget about your dreams.

I hope everything works out. Having lost my kid sister a few years ago, I also believe we need to live each day to the fullest. My girl and I don't live together yet (but we're moving together in 2 months) and I won't let a day pass without seeing her and telling her I love her. She's the most amazing thing that's every happened to me.

Good luck bro, things will work out. Weigh the input from your heart and mind, then decide which is more important.

 

[shredalean]

First I need to ask how old you are, I would guess in the mid to late twenties if you are about to finish up a law degree. If that's the case I would say follow your heart bro, see where the next 6 weeks go and if your feelings get stronger, stay in Cali. The last thing you want to do is move away because you think it is too soon, and wonder what could have been for the rest of your life. It's a shitty feeling knowing you might have let "the one" go, and you would never forgive yourself.

On the other hand if going to NY means a possible advancement in your career path, that might not be the case in cali (i.e better school, higher paying job oppurtunities, etc), then I would say you're in a real shitty situation. With that said if all is the same in NY and Cali career wise, then I would definately stay and see how things pan out. Either way, you need to sit down and have a long talk with your girl, and make sure she feels the same as you bro.
wisdom

30 yrs old divorced, well versed in relationships.

 

[Nico Cujo]

I was 30, divorced when I met my present wife. She was 22, never been married, no children. We moved in together after 2 weeks. She was the right one. We've been married 14 and a half years. We made the right decision.

 

[shaboz]

Bro, after just splitting with my girl of 6 yrs, including living together for a little over 3 of those years...I would have to say go to NYC. Get a great job, get your education, get everything you have ever dreamed/prayed for/hoped/wanted out of your career...

As I have found, women will come and go. I do not believe there is one special woman for youout there. There are millions of great women out there, dont pass up an opportunity of a lifetime to get an education and start a career in the city that never sleeps..

 

[Tap101]

moving in rather quickly

Study the 4 stages of group development.(Soc101)

Your in the honeymoon stage right now.

stage 2 (conflict stage) will show its head soon enough.

Tap

 

[ramboj70]

Study the 4 stages of group development.(Soc101)

Your in the honeymoon stage right now.

stage 2 (conflict stage) will show its head soon enough.

Tap

get her pregneant and see what happens, she will move with you no matter where you go bro,

 

[Bob Smith]

I would suggest doin your plans, whatever they may be. If you just met this chick and have only been dating for two months, then I think its a bad idea to live together. I think living together before marriage is a bad idea anyway (and the research supports this), but if one was to do it, then only after dating for a long time. What the hell does anyone know about someone else in 2 months? Virtually nothing. Dont do it, bro.

 

[shredalean]

I would suggest doin your plans, whatever they may be. If you just met this chick and have only been dating for two months, then I think its a bad idea to live together. I think living together before marriage is a bad idea anyway (and the research supports this), but if one was to do it, then only after dating for a long time. What the hell does anyone know about someone else in 2 months? Virtually nothing. Dont do it, bro.

YOu got a good point my man, but I still think moving may be a mistake. I don't want to sound cocky, but I have run through women in my life. I always find flaws and think I can do better, shit this one could shit herself and I would help her clean it up. We'll see about moving in together (her idea, but I could consider it) the more I think about it moving away the less appealing it sounds, because I know I will regret it in the end. So we'll see school can be finished anywhere.

Thanks bro's for your thoughts.

Rambo bro she's on the pill, got any ideas as to how to get her pregnant around those pesky little buggers? I like the idea!

 

[mystik]

Sup shred...

To piggyback on that whole stages thing... trust me, that crap is true! lol

Anyways, tonight was my 4 year anniversary with my girl, and for the last 5 months I have moved away to go to college. Our relationship is better than ever now... not because we miss each other, but we encourage each other in school to achieve our own seperate goals.

You need to grow for yourself, before you can grow for that other person. If you don't, you will always regret not doing the things you wanted to do for YOURSELF. I guess my point is... go to school. Forget the girl. If she is "the one" then you will know it and you both will encourage each other to do the right thing... stay in school.

Love is a 2 way street... make sure it isn't just lust between either of you. New relationships are always the same... "wow she/he is great, i love them and want to spend all my time with them." After you lose all your friends, house, and job because of this person, and you break up... what do you have left? A lot of apoligizing and a bunch of burned bridges.

I guess all I am saying, is be careful. If she truly cares about you, then she should let you go to NYC to go for your dreams. If she really cares, she would wait for you... just like if you really cared you would let her do her own thing, and wait for her.

just my 2 cents...

myst

 

[Desibaba]

Bitches come and bitches go.Money and education are more important.No offense but i doubt you can know anyone enough only in a 2 months time period.And if she really wants/likes you that much she can always move with you.I can speak from my own experience.Sometimes we can really like and love a person but that doesnt mean they feel the same way inside even though thats what we think they might be thinking.

 

[lonewolf36]

Think about this...you stay where you are at, and she has her career. You put off your plans for her, and maybe you will not find the same opportunity where you are at, maybe never again. Then, something changes, maybe the newness wears off and 'real' you and her aren't as compatible as the 'love-blind' you and her. Now, she goes on with her career, and you now have to start over. Not saying there is no such thing as love at first sight, but give it some more time. Explore your education/career path options where you are at, and make sure you can get the same opportunities as you would in NYC. I was given the same advice before, but did not follow it. I said we'd never split up. Well, time moved on, she changed her mind, and I was left stuck in her small town right out of college, with nowhere near the career opportunities in that area as I would of had had I listened to good advise. Trust me, it is hard to get back on track once you've got off of it.

But, I am still a romantic at heart, so I wish you the best of everything in your relationship. And, hope she is 'the one', and you two live happily ever after, never knowing a day where you are not as happy as you are right now.

 

[shredalean]

Think about this...you stay where you are at, and she has her career. You put off your plans for her, and maybe you will not find the same opportunity where you are at, maybe never again. Then, something changes, maybe the newness wears off and 'real' you and her aren't as compatible as the 'love-blind' you and her. Now, she goes on with her career, and you now have to start over. Not saying there is no such thing as love at first sight, but give it some more time. Explore your education/career path options where you are at, and make sure you can get the same opportunities as you would in NYC. I was given the same advice before, but did not follow it. I said we'd never split up. Well, time moved on, she changed her mind, and I was left stuck in her small town right out of college, with nowhere near the career opportunities in that area as I would of had had I listened to good advise. Trust me, it is hard to get back on track once you've got off of it.

But, I am still a romantic at heart, so I wish you the best of everything in your relationship. And, hope she is 'the one', and you two live happily ever after, never knowing a day where you are not as happy as you are right now.

Thanks bro! I've only felt this way twice in my life, the last one I married. But I was still young and cheated her every way you can imagine along with women. So I have a feeling that it's my chance i'd never thought I'd have.

Either way the same day I wrote this I sent my acceptance letter to NYU so we'll see what happens. As long as I get my degree from the right school I'll be fine so...

shred

 

[thick]

tough situation. If u feel u can get the same quality education w/o moving than it is a no brainer IMO. Otherwise than you need to bail. We all know that you already have your mind made up so with that I will just say GOOD LUCK WITH HER

 

[shredalean]

tough situation. If u feel u can get the same quality education w/o moving than it is a no brainer IMO. Otherwise than you need to bail. We all know that you already have your mind made up so with that I will just say GOOD LUCK WITH HER

LOL! true! She's too good to let go. I can't resist those freakin puppy dog eyes! I got it covered for school here just have to wait a semester. I am blessed with a great connection at Stanford (not where I'll go) who can help me out. Thanks for all the advise I guess it really didn't matter what you guys would say, but shit it's funny how many meatheads are so damn romantic!

peace,

shred

 

[Grizzly]

At least, you're not some puppy-lovin' 20 year old. You might actually be able to make a fairly rational decision. However, I'm still going to go with the move to NYC. Get YOUR life going and then add things to it. If this goes south, which is more than likely, then you will have completely fucked up.