Good luck Rod as you trudge the road of "Happy Destiny". For myself it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life giving up drinking and drugs also. The first 30 days detoxing were the worst ever locked up in a treatment center. I for one can say I never wanted to become out of control...began drinking and taking drugs as it was a way of life where I am from, started all this at the ripe ole age of 13. Still remember it like it was yesterday. By the time I barely made it out of high school, I was totally out of control, didn't see that until a few years later, heck everyone around me knew my problem, except me. I just plainly lived in denial. At the age of 23 I had enough, could not live with it our without it and to top it off I thought that my life was over as i sat in my first AA meeting. That was 17+ years ago and my thinking since then has changed, shit none of my old life is the same, my location, my job, my wife...all is different, what happened to me in AA is a complete change, One that is needed if I were to recover. Rod as some have shared with you tonight a few things are real important when beginning a new life without alcohol and for me they were a 1) Sponsor, 2)Meetings, Meetings and more fricking Meetings...heck they are even non-smoking these days LOL, maybe one a week when I got started, 3)Power Greater Than Yourself (Does not include oneself), 4) Fellowship with others who share our common goal and who have been where we have. There are many others but this was a good start for me. Watch closely to your thinking as mine in the beginning kept trying to tell me I had no fricking problem as stay away from slippery places, its like hanging out in a barber shop, sooner or later I will get my hair cut. You're in my prayers this evening brother!