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Flex.AF said:

Primal's Prescription: The Great Nipple Warmer Debacle (An Unauthorized Biography)​



The cycle was a masterpiece of chemistry and discipline: 750 Test E, 750 Deca, 200 DHB, and a little Masteron E to keep things dialed in. Everything was running smoothly, my physique was becoming a work of art, and then came the Dbol. Not from a regular source, mind you. This was a personal gift from Primal the Gorilla, my friend and black market supplement guru from the local zoo.

Primal's Dbol was a game-changer. The pumps were so intense I felt like my skin might tear, and the strength gains were nothing short of biblical. But it came with a feature that, unbeknownst to me, was a primate-patented "side effect": the high-powered nipple warmers.

It started as a gentle glow. My chest felt like it was basking in a perpetual, pleasant sunset. I actually started to enjoy it. "Man," I thought, "this Dbol is so good it's even making me warmer in the winter."

Then the glow turned into a searing heat. The "sunset" became a raging bonfire. My nipples felt like they were actively trying to re-enter the atmosphere. I was a human tea kettle, constantly emitting a low, sizzling sound. My wife, bless her heart, kept asking if I had a fever. I was forced to explain to her that no, I wasn't sick, I was just "thermally enhanced."

I messaged Primal in a panic, using a burner phone he'd given me with a single contact: "Gorilla."

"Primal," I typed frantically, "the Dbol is great, but my nipples are in danger of becoming charcoal briquettes. What gives?"

The reply came almost instantly: a single picture of a gorilla, holding a banana, wearing a lab coat. Underneath, a single phrase: "My bad. Broken switch. Sent you some AI. Sent Saturday. Pick up tomorrow."

AI. I stared at the message, a cold sweat breaking out on my brow. Was he sending me a tiny, robotic surgeon? An artisanal, hand-crafted banana cooling salve? My mind raced with possibilities, each one more absurd than the last. I was a man trapped in a bizarre pharmaceutical thriller, with a gorilla as the main antagonist and my nipples as the hapless victims.

The days have been a blur of desperation and frozen food. I'm currently wearing a shirt stuffed with ice packs and walking around my house like a reverse-penguin. The worst part is the constant, nagging fear. What if Primal’s "AI" isn't what I think it is? What if it's "Aardvark-Inspired," and the delivery is just a large, anteater-like creature arriving at my door? I wouldn't put it past him.

I've already had to decline a FaceTime call from him this morning, as he wanted to "see the progress." I’m not about to let my nipples make their debut on a gorilla’s video call.

Today is the big day. The AI has arrived and so I am heading to the nearest freezer section, just in case. I'll post an update once I know if I'm using a life-saving chemical compound or have a new, furry roommate. Wish me luck. My nipples need it.
Click to expand...
Well at least you didn't pin DHB in your star fish!
 
Flex.AF said:
Then the glow turned into a searing heat. The "sunset" became a raging bonfire. My nipples felt like they were actively trying to re-enter the atmosphere. I was a human tea kettle, constantly emitting a low, sizzling sound
Click to expand...
While reading your erotic thriller my nandrolone problem was no longer a problem. My little solider rose to attention and saluted the old lady multiple times. Not sure if I missed the moral of the story, but I just ordered some more Dbol and Deca.
 
Flex.AF said:

Primal's Prescription: The Great Nipple Warmer Debacle (An Unauthorized Biography)​



The cycle was a masterpiece of chemistry and discipline: 750 Test E, 750 Deca, 200 DHB, and a little Masteron E to keep things dialed in. Everything was running smoothly, my physique was becoming a work of art, and then came the Dbol. Not from a regular source, mind you. This was a personal gift from Primal the Gorilla, my friend and black market supplement guru from the local zoo.

Primal's Dbol was a game-changer. The pumps were so intense I felt like my skin might tear, and the strength gains were nothing short of biblical. But it came with a feature that, unbeknownst to me, was a primate-patented "side effect": the high-powered nipple warmers.

It started as a gentle glow. My chest felt like it was basking in a perpetual, pleasant sunset. I actually started to enjoy it. "Man," I thought, "this Dbol is so good it's even making me warmer in the winter."

Then the glow turned into a searing heat. The "sunset" became a raging bonfire. My nipples felt like they were actively trying to re-enter the atmosphere. I was a human tea kettle, constantly emitting a low, sizzling sound. My wife, bless her heart, kept asking if I had a fever. I was forced to explain to her that no, I wasn't sick, I was just "thermally enhanced."

I messaged Primal in a panic, using a burner phone he'd given me with a single contact: "Gorilla."

"Primal," I typed frantically, "the Dbol is great, but my nipples are in danger of becoming charcoal briquettes. What gives?"

The reply came almost instantly: a single picture of a gorilla, holding a banana, wearing a lab coat. Underneath, a single phrase: "My bad. Broken switch. Sent you some AI. Sent Saturday. Pick up tomorrow."

AI. I stared at the message, a cold sweat breaking out on my brow. Was he sending me a tiny, robotic surgeon? An artisanal, hand-crafted banana cooling salve? My mind raced with possibilities, each one more absurd than the last. I was a man trapped in a bizarre pharmaceutical thriller, with a gorilla as the main antagonist and my nipples as the hapless victims.

The days have been a blur of desperation and frozen food. I'm currently wearing a shirt stuffed with ice packs and walking around my house like a reverse-penguin. The worst part is the constant, nagging fear. What if Primal’s "AI" isn't what I think it is? What if it's "Aardvark-Inspired," and the delivery is just a large, anteater-like creature arriving at my door? I wouldn't put it past him.

I've already had to decline a FaceTime call from him this morning, as he wanted to "see the progress." I’m not about to let my nipples make their debut on a gorilla’s video call.

Today is the big day. The AI has arrived and so I am heading to the nearest freezer section, just in case. I'll post an update once I know if I'm using a life-saving chemical compound or have a new, furry roommate. Wish me luck. My nipples need it.
Click to expand...
Angry King Kong GIF by Xbox
 
Was going to go with Opti, but they’ve been out of stock on quite a few things. Read through quite a few of these pages for Primal, seems like I’m going to take the swing at them and see how it goes.
 
Placed a pretty decent sized order with @Primal_Pharma last Friday. Received tracking hours later and had it in hand Monday night. Everything was packaged well(in a box this time!) and to my surprise, not a single item was missing .

So far I’m very happy with the service. Unfortunately I can’t comment yet on the quality of the oil because most of my order was for future use items. Everything looks really good(even the tren color for you urine chart diagram fanatics).
 
NTJuice said:
Placed a pretty decent sized order with @Primal_Pharma last Friday. Received tracking hours later and had it in hand Monday night. Everything was packaged well(in a box this time!) and to my surprise, not a single item was missing .

So far I’m very happy with the service. Unfortunately I can’t comment yet on the quality of the oil because most of my order was for future use items. Everything looks really good(even the tren color for you urine chart diagram fanatics).
Click to expand...
 
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