Serious help needed.

Can you tell me more about your clomid monotherapy? Dose, schedule, length of use, and how you felt?
50mg / day for 12 months. I feel like it's made me a bit moody, but I got colossal nuts now, much bigger than I had before. My test shot up quite a bit as well.
Clomid isn't a med this guy should even think about using based on his history with drugs.
Why? [citation needed]
 
I'm interested in trying clomid monotherapy, but I'm not sure on the dosing. I've heard people have luck with much smaller doses, even a couple times a week. So there's a lot of variety here. It's nice to hear you had great results on 50mg.
 
I got boo-hooie this 2nd cycle pct with the same dose of 50mg/day of clomid, when the first pct wasn't emotional like that. It was only for 2 weeks roughly, and only thinking about my dog dying soon triggered it. I'm guessing, it has to do with being shut down harder due to the mast, drol, and var, as opposed to the first cycle of just test.
 
I got boo-hooie this 2nd cycle pct with the same dose of 50mg/day of clomid, when the first pct wasn't emotional like that. It was only for 2 weeks roughly, and only thinking about my dog dying soon triggered it. I'm guessing, it has to do with being shut down harder due to the mast, drol, and var, as opposed to the first cycle of just test.
That's very sad, man. I understand that. I can't even go "there" myself without getting extremely down. I spend more time blocking it out so I don't get consumed by it. Maybe it has less to do with the substances, and you just got caught by it (which does happen time to time). Thanks.
 
That's very sad, man. I understand that. I can't even go "there" myself without getting extremely down. I spend more time blocking it out so I don't get consumed by it. Maybe it has less to do with the substances, and you just got caught by it (which does happen time to time). Thanks.
As soon as I dropped the clomid dosage from 50mg/day to 25mg/day, it eased up.
 
From my perspective this guy would be better off with perhaps Test U once a month if he has no natural production. Perhaps 250mg would be enough to keep him functional, but not optimal obviously.

Transdermal applied twice a week would provide enough T to keep him going even though it would bottom out, but that's not a huge deal as your body would get used to this.

I just thinking the absolute least amount you would need to keep going, but so little that it would present few health risks.

I'd stay away from the ancillaries since you obviously have a very serious drug addiction.

I think cold turkey works, but it's a bitch when you have things you gotta get done and don't have energy or strength to do them so that could in fact drive you back to drugs, so I would do the least amount of T possible to keep you from feeling like dog shit.
 
Fuck pct, no seriously, never fucking again, not me, no thanks. I can't lose myself and my muscle.

It's like going from superhuman to just human, it's depressing, I'd rather die than be mediocre.

Super cruise till I can, or at least regular cruise.
 
Fuck pct, no seriously, never fucking again, not me, no thanks. I can't lose myself and my muscle.

It's like going from superhuman to just human, it's depressing, I'd rather die than be mediocre.

Super cruise till I can, or at least regular cruise.
You need to come off on a regular basis.

I understand not wanting to come off, but you should restore natural production at least twice a year to make sure you always keep what you can as you get older should something happen and you have to come off for medical reasons.

Coming off for 8 to 12 weeks, you won't lose that much size. If you really worked hard for that muscle, then it will stick around. You'll probably lose 5 pounds, that's not that big a deal.
 
You need to come off on a regular basis.

I understand not wanting to come off, but you should restore natural production at least twice a year to make sure you always keep what you can as you get older should something happen and you have to come off for medical reasons.
So just cycle instead of blast and cruise then?
 
So just cycle instead of blast and cruise then?
I think everyone should come off at least twice a year.

I went many years without a break, my nuts were the size of almonds. It was brutal restoring natural production, but I knew I had to do it because I don't think it's wise to let your nuts sit around doing nothing for extended periods.

Health wise just like fasting. Stopping AAS makes sense to restore natural function to the body. It would seem better for your health long term.

And yes you will lose some size, but there seems to be point at which size doesn't reduce no matter what. I never seem to drop below 225, I've been up to 240+, but that was too dam big if you ask me, not good for my health at all.
 
You need to come off on a regular basis.

I understand not wanting to come off, but you should restore natural production at least twice a year to make sure you always keep what you can as you get older should something happen and you have to come off for medical reasons.

Coming off for 8 to 12 weeks, you won't lose that much size. If you really worked hard for that muscle, then it will stick around. You'll probably lose 5 pounds, that's not that big a deal.
I know, but then that alpha feeling and invincibility is gone...

Even going on a cruise sucks...

Here I feel the greatness man, I see new veins almost everyday and not losing anything while losing body fat, it's fucking awesome overall. I don't wanna go back. First time ever it happened to me, before I went to cruise no problem and was even happier there, but not now.
 
I know, but then that alpha feeling and invincibility is gone...

Even going on a cruise sucks...

Here I feel the greatness man, I see new veins almost everyday and not losing anything while losing body fat, it's fucking awesome overall. I don't wanna go back. First time ever it happened to me, before I went to cruise no problem and was even happier there, but not now.
Well I'm not that far from 50.

We've seen too many guys my age kill over dead the past few years.

My brother that is one year older than me has pushed it to the limit as a competitive body builder and a former world champion and olympic athlete. His body is impressive, but his face isn't. I'm shocked every time he visits me and I see him in person. I don't have a single wrinkle on my face, he looks like he's 15 years older than me. Granted he's got a very stressful job, but something has to give, because I think he's gonna end up dead in a few years.

Even me a few years ago, I was gasping going up stairs, seeing stars, felt like I was gonna black out. There was times when my heart felt like it was gonna stop like it couldn't catch up when I was pushing the intensity.

Young guys can take this, older guys should take necessary breaks to restore health.
 
Why twice a year, and not once? If one is off twice a year, that's just cycling. That's 2 16 week cycles, a month to clear out, and a month of pct for each.
4 months off total, 8 months on total.

The point at which you are getting close to coming off you should be running a microdose of acetate ester to clear it out of your system and get a true 2 months off.
 
Background info: So, i'm not looking for comments on how fucking idiotic i was, i know how stupid i lived when younger. I'm trying desperately to reverse decade+ pof severe damage from addiction and other less than healthy habits. I also was a total gym rat when younger and ran a few moderate cycles back at 21-25ish. Lots of masteron, test, and sarms specifically. Winstrol and anavar a couple blasts. Not a ton by any means, but a fair amount. maybe 50 weeks total under my belt of lower end blast level dosing.

I was also a pretty severe opioid and cocaine addict though as well. I stayed on a TRT level test from the age of 20, until finally coming to terms that enough was enough with any and all substances, test included a few months back as well (just about 29 at that point)

Basically, my physical health is beyond shit, I just got a new liver and 2 new heart valves 5 months ago, hence why i stopped testosterone too. Im still not out of the woods health wise. I killed myself using substances pretty much, and now since getting sober almost 3 years ago when my daughter was born, i only desperately want to live now. Sick fucking joke i played on myself.

ANYWAYS, my question -

Now that i've been off bi weekly cypionate pins for 5 months now, and gaining a bit of health back. I want to run clomid and tamoxifen now alone with the pantheon of natural boosters like Piana's Post Gear product line. I do have to be careful with any kind of drug toxicity though with the semi-fragile state of the rest of my body still.

Do i have any hope of kicking natural production back on after 7 years of heavy hormone use? Will Clomid/tamoxifen/Post gear be enough, or do i NEED HCG to have any chance of normal sized balls and sex drive again?

Seriously, if anyone can help me restoring some natural function to my body, i'd be beyond appreciative. I'm only 29 and feel like an 80 year old man. I know i was a fucking moron at this point, and dont need that reafirmed. Addiction is WILD what it allows us to put ourselves through.
@BirdieNumNum
 
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