Uglyrichie
Banned
Sometimes it's better to pick up and move start again. Be the person you want to be its not fun leaving shit behind but it worked for me. Seriously I hope you get out of this slump.
MESO-Rx
Anabolic Steroids
Superpowers
- Thread starter Uglyrichie
- Start date
thanks but not so easy. Let’s see, mom died at 11, have absolutely know good relation with anyone in my family that’s is long gone since I was 13, random pill at party gave me neurological side effects that effect me to this day, for some reason jerking off to porn makes my thyroid swell up and all my muscles get sucked away real quick, ain’t had friends for years now, bout 4, big fuckin deal i could live with that. But on top of it all now I’ll always have ugly ass scars probably never get married or have a gf and if I do I’ll probably be cheated on cuz how ugly the scars are. I am completely pinned in life and there’s nothing to be done about it.
there is no picking up and starting fresh for me my life has been shit since age 11 and now these scars have locked me in permanently.
thanks for the words though, but ya I don’t think I’ve quite expressed how fucked all of this life really is
Jesus 350, you've really had a rough go of life! I thought I had it tough. Many of our fucked up circumstances are permanent but there are definitely things that can and will change for the better brother. I believe lot of it is about our outlook...I know that sounds retarded but it seems to hold true. Outlook won't remove the physical and mental scars we aquire but it has provided me with opportunities I thought were impossible.
I know a guy that was only 18 years old when he went off to serve in the marines and got caught in an IED attack. Everyone in his humvee died except him. They had to amputate what was left of both his legs, had a shit ton of other surgeries from the shrapnel in the rest of his body and a TBI.
Before this guy left for the military, he was an arrogant privileged little shit. When he returned to the states he received prosthetic legs, is regularly having to undergo surgeries, and is always suffering sides from his brain damage...what is really fucking weird though is that this guy is now one of the most humble grateful motherfuckers I know.
I asked him what changed. He said I went through a lot of trauma therapy and kept on top of the doctors to narrow down all of his medical conditions that resulted from the blast...most importantly he changed his outlook on life. Dude has way more loved ones than when he left for war and recently got married to a beautiful woman about 2-3 years ago.
Guys like this change how I see life in general.
I don't know how, but he somehow roze above what happened in the war and grew from his pain.
My dad left when I was 10. My mom who raised me was an alcoholic drug addict who was bi-polar as fuck. I lived mostly in the barrios of LA as a white boy cause my mom was poor. Ended up in organized crime starting at age 15. Been hit by 4 fucking cars in California. Caught bullet in the abdomen which fucked up my back. Caught a few charges and got locked up at 18. Got out (being a white boy in the pen with Mexicali affiliates isn't easy to navigate). Got married, wife became a junkie and took off with our kids, one of which I haven't been able to see since they were 1 or 2 years old. Got strung out off and on for years myself. My brother suicided under suicide watch in a mental hospital I put him in. I've got a fare amount of hardware in my body now from all the physical trauma. Many of my "friends" and acquaintances from my youth are dead or doing life long sentences, and every one on my moms side of the family is now dead from drugs and alcohol except for my mom for some reason.
I'm now in my mid-forties. Went through a lot of therapy. I attained a bachelor's degree in human biology and am still in school. I have been off dope and alcohol for 16 years. I have very few guys I have to answer to from my former affiliations. Been off probation for 8 or 9 years and I had all my felonies expunged. I have dated some incredible women after thinking I'd never find anyone (I don't know what the fuck they're doing with a guy like me). I'm finally able to be there for my oldest kid and am able to help rehabilitate him from his time locked up and show him how to be a man. My mom is clean and sober as of recent.
I guess what I'm saying is that life can change. No one can bring my family members back. I don't expect my dad to ever change. I've still got some nasty PTSD. My back will never be the same...and I will never physically be able to do what I once was able to because I beat the hell out of my body...but many days are now good days.
People like us are SURVIVORS. It's what we do. You seem like a survivor too 350. Shit will change brother, stay after it and don't let the past take you out. When my mind has a good amount of control over me, I'm having a shit day. When I have a good amount of control over my mind, I'm having a great day. Some days are good...some days are not. I try not to listen to my head all the time...that motherfucker has tried to kill me. PM me if you ever feel like it brother.
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LeoTC
Member
Dude.
A friend from Sudan is like 70% scar tissue from an attack on his home / village. He's married with kids, happily.
My buddy Krispy is 45% skin grafts from a fucked up bon fire incident in middle school. Half his fucking face, Bro.
Also married with kids and pulling fine ass before that.
It's not about the physical, you attract what you put out. If you've decided that your life is shit, its going to be shit 100%.
That's not the scars or anything else, that's all your doing.
Could be very true. But let’s look at the facts. How much does appearance effect people’s quality of life?
Especially for someone at a younger age teens twenties early thirties.
Everyone u described is clearly older and around more mature people. That’s horrible what happened to them, but sticking to a factual standpoint, most likely their wives have already fucked around enough in their lives and now want something more real.
I’m a realist and that’s the honest truth.
I see it this way. Say I’m the shit, I’m the man, I got everything on lock in life but I got these scars. Somewhere else there’s someone doing the same who doesn’t look like a nightmare.
harsh reality of life. Ain’t nothin changing it
LeoTC
Member
Dude, they're both years younger than I am, I'm all of 33.
Both of them got fucked up young. Pre-teen and early early childhood respectively. Friend from Sudan had the privilege of literally fleeing an active warzone after watching family members raped, maimed, and murdered in front of him.
Like I said, you can keep making excuses. It's your life and it seems you're content living in misery. If fetishizing your own victimization turns your crank, crank away man.
Suppose the beauty of deciding that everything is horrible is absolving yourself the responsibility of caring or changing. Its fucked, but I get it.
Doesn't change the fact that it's on you make it better though.
I guarantee there are plenty of miserable fucks out there doing great without the scars too. But they have the same shit outlook and attitude.
So...misery.
As correct as u are, and as much as I’d probably agree looking back.
I’m just not there yet. In fact I am there, half the day, the other half I’m polar opposite.
anyways this ain’t my thread that’s the last I’m saying on it
LeoTC
Member
Suppose I should actually respond to the topic, yeah? Lol.
I've always liked the idea of manipulating the laws of probability like your Gambits, Longshots, and Dominos. That'd be pretty nifty all things considered from a practical standpoint.
But flight has always been the go to. Escaping the bonds of gravity unassisted and just getting the fuck away from it all.
Yep, I think that'd be tops for the mental health actually.
I've always liked the idea of manipulating the laws of probability like your Gambits, Longshots, and Dominos. That'd be pretty nifty all things considered from a practical standpoint.
But flight has always been the go to. Escaping the bonds of gravity unassisted and just getting the fuck away from it all.
Yep, I think that'd be tops for the mental health actually.
Sworder
Member
If you had a bad childhood. You need to unlearn all that shit that your parents taught you, or didn't teach you. Learn how to deal with anger, grief and all those emotions.
Well actually, this is the hardest part. You need to realize that there is a problem with you and that you need to change. That is the most difficult thing because we want to justify everything to why we are the way we are.
Realize that you are broken, only then can you fix yourself.
Well actually, this is the hardest part. You need to realize that there is a problem with you and that you need to change. That is the most difficult thing because we want to justify everything to why we are the way we are.
Realize that you are broken, only then can you fix yourself.
johntt44
New Member
People overcome a lot of things. Sounds corny but the human spirit can overcome anything. I worked with a guy whose mom was a drug addicted prostitute. He lived out west I think in Arizona, the middle of nowhere in a trailer. I think he told me when he was 4yrs old his mom would leave him for days by himself, hardly any food. He told me he ate fucking dry, uncooked spaghetti dipped in fucking peanut butter once
The guy turned out fine thanks to relatives.
The guy turned out fine thanks to relatives.
johntt44
New Member
I actually think theres more broken, fucked up people than normal people who led the life of a Norman Rockwell painting. That's been my experience as an adult.
LeoTC
Member
Was actually just talking about that with a friend of mine. We were hanging out when her kids got home, range from grade school to highschool.
The oldest were acting like kids, like young kids. It blew my mind...like, we were operating like adults with adult concerns younger than that.
She just looked at me and said, "Yeah, lack of trauma. Its definitely a disconnect." Lol.
True though.
johntt44
New Member
Yeah, my kids too.They grew up in the same house and went to school with the same kids all the way through. Both parents. Not a worry in the world.
I had both parents, relatively poor, moved around a lot. I went to fucking 10 schools by the time I graduated high school! It made me good at making friends and fighting, haha, being the new kid. I always get told how charming I am. I think it's because of my upbringing. I consider it a good childhood though. Only hiccup I had was dad dying when I was 17. Nothing like some of these guys in this thread though.
I had both parents, relatively poor, moved around a lot. I went to fucking 10 schools by the time I graduated high school! It made me good at making friends and fighting, haha, being the new kid. I always get told how charming I am. I think it's because of my upbringing. I consider it a good childhood though. Only hiccup I had was dad dying when I was 17. Nothing like some of these guys in this thread though.
Crazy, same here. Mom was a bit of a gypsy so I went to 13 schools before homeschooling around 11th grade. The new kid situation could be rough but I definitely became more fluid and stronger because of it. I kind of unintentionally developed a template for how to handle going to a new school.
Where are my people and who am I going to have to fight became normal rituals during the first couple months at a new school...definitely refined my living skills as I got older.
johntt44
New Member
Yeah, nothing rattles me. I can deal with people very well because of it. I kind of think it was a good experience in some ways. Loved my parents to death, they were a little off but always good to me.
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