You've got to hear this. I'm funny

Grizzly

New Member
2:30 am I woke up standing outside of my apartment...naked. :( The door has a sprinloaded lock, so I was locked out. I was like, what the fuck am I going to do now?

So, I walked outside to see if I could get in a window or something. No luck. Instead, I just broke one pane of the glass, which I'm sure I'm going to have to pay for.

Right about that time a car started coming up. I hit the deck and hoped it would go away. Nope. It stayed there. Since I needed to do something, I covered my crotch and walked up to the car.

Turns out, it was the night security car. Great!:( To add insult to injury, the security person was a damn cute 25ish y/o girl. So, I'm standing there, cock in hand, asking her if she could call maintenance to let me in.

That sucked so fucking bad! How do I always end up in situations like that? I'm going to have to get a chain lock or something to lock myself in. I think I've been sleep walking or something. Before I moved, I'd go to bed with my g/f and wake up on the couch. How? I don't know.

Well, that's my funny story for the day. Flame away. :D
 
thick said:
lmao, was your tongue sore? You might've done some happy licking on the sir next door

now why would you assume he was licking down a sir and not a miss thickie? a little fantasizing going on there?.... lol.... :D
 
LMFAO! That's funny because I have a fear of that happening to me, waking up in a funny place naked. Were you drunk? I have only pulled a dude where's my car once but it was crazy, last thing I remember was chugging AMF's laughing at Samual L Jackson, probably around midnight. Random buddy found me passed out on a sidewalk, this was completely random, I live in a major city and was not with this guy that night and I was about twelve blocks from where I last remeber being. Woke up in a strange place, no money, no keys, no car, and no cell. Atleast I wasn't naked though, that would really suck, especialy if you found yourself in a public place.
 
LMAO grizz, the worst thing Ive ever done was sleep walk after I fell asleep at the train station during a train strike at 6am. I slept walked into the opening news agency and pissed against a wall. I was then woke up by security about ten minutes later after the owner had alerted them. I had no re-collection at all, so they showed me the security cam photage, at which point I must have gone quite visibly white as they let me off lol
 
I bet that's what I did. I vaguely recollect going to the john and then BAM I was outside the apartment. I knew I should have hid the spare keys outside. I'll be sure to do that now.
 
Grizzly said:
I bet that's what I did. I vaguely recollect going to the john and then BAM I was outside the apartment. I knew I should have hid the spare keys outside. I'll be sure to do that now.



you sleepwalkers are a strange bunch. one of my roomates back in college was a chronic sleep walker. we put locks on every door in that apartment because he pissed all over another roomate's new laptop. fried the shit outta the cpu and he lost some important files. another time we found him butt ass naked in the back stairwell, and another time he walked into bed w/ a roomate and his girlfriend. he used to piss in potted plants, fall asleep on the kitchen floor and walk all over the place doing goofy shit all the time. strange affliction.
 
crewboss said:
you sleepwalkers are a strange bunch. one of my roomates back in college was a chronic sleep walker. we put locks on every door in that apartment because he pissed all over another roomate's new laptop. fried the shit outta the cpu and he lost some important files. another time we found him butt ass naked in the back stairwell, and another time he walked into bed w/ a roomate and his girlfriend. he used to piss in potted plants, fall asleep on the kitchen floor and walk all over the place doing goofy shit all the time. strange affliction.
i guess being naked is better then being in a speedo, if she was hot you should of made your pecker hard so she could see it, or slap it down on her door and start singing, this is my rifle this is my gun this is for fighting this is for fun, LOL you would of been in jail bro, if i were you I would cuff myself to the bed bro.
 
Yeah, hopefully it doesn't happen anymore. I just got yelled at by the apartment lady. Then again, she might not really have anything to say about it. I saw nothing in the lease that said "will not walk around naked at 3am." LOL
 
Grizzly said:
Yeah, hopefully it doesn't happen anymore. I just got yelled at by the apartment lady. Then again, she might not really have anything to say about it. I saw nothing in the lease that said "will not walk around naked at 3am." LOL
lol, funny bro! i could just see, this huge tank sitting outside buck ass naked, ooohhh what a site, neighbors will love you
 
Oh shit, that is the funniest story that I have ever read. Grizzly you should keep a spare pair of pants outside. Just in case.

P.S. I am glad that you are not my neighbor! :D
 
ramboj70 said:
if she was hot you should of made your pecker hard so she could see it, or slap it down on her door and start singing, this is my rifle this is my gun this is for fighting this is for fun,

LMAO!! Rambo you're freaking nuts!!!
 
Could you imagine buying a house and discovering that Rambo is the neighbor on one side and that Grizzly is the neighbor on the other? Out front, Rambo would be prancing around in his Speedos trying to seduce your wife. While out back, Grizzly lies curled up naked at your doorstep :eek:
 
what a scary visual. Than you find out grizzly is the neighbors wife rambo is trying to seduce :eek:
Rod said:
Could you imagine buying a house and discovering that Rambo is the neighbor on one side and that Grizzly is the neighbor on the other? Out front, Rambo would be prancing around in his Speedos trying to seduce your wife. While out back, Grizzly lies curled up naked at your doorstep :eek:
 
Hey Grizz, I say you let things slide and see what happens..... I bet that security chick will be driving by your pad every night at the same time..... Tonight, go out and pretend you are sleep walking and throw her the bone..... She may go for it if she thinks you will never remember...... Either that or stop hanging out at that bar since they may have slipped you a Roofie.......
 
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