Cyrix
Member
Thanks brother it was definitely hard
MESO-Rx
Anabolic Steroids
Had a re-lapse
- Thread starter desertwarrior
- Start date
I dug out some pics of me at 165 all fucked up and a pic of my family, everytime i think about getting high ive been pulling em out of my wallet. Ive managed to stay on track so far. Also been in contact daily with guys here.
Cyrix
Member
I'm definitely willing to help out
Fuck i have the WORST restlesss leg syndrome, I must be burning some major calories from it.
Think about all the work you put into the gym to get big, That would all go to waste if you stop going to get high.
CAswole
New Member
@desertwarrior I feel you brother. Went out a couple months ago on these weird little synthetic drinks called catnip cocktail. I don't even know what's in them but they work LOL and this past weekend had a nice Coke Binger. Was not feeling good about myself and probably lost 10 pounds over the weekend from zero appetite. Be careful man heroin is no joke you could kill yourself accidentally so easy. Get the help you need I'll be thinking of you. Good luck brother.
From quitting opiates? You should definitely not have that problem being on suboxone. The one time I took that stuff during withdrawal I was high for 3 days and definitely not feeling withdrawal. I wish I had taken that the first few weeks instead of going cold turkey. That shit was insane
We haven't had the best interaction in the past but I know a little bit about the demon you face. IMO a screw up is a fuck up. You know right from wrong but made the bad choice. You have to use that as a learning experience to avoid future triggers. Delete any phone numbers of dealers and fellow users. I know it doesn't stop you from getting it again 100% but any little bit to make it harder to source. The 165lb pic and the family pic are extremely good tools when you're feeling vulnerable. Use them as often as needed. Get some good friends to help hold you accountable to sobriety. Make goals, one being 100% sobriety, and work towards them. Bottom line is kick this fucking disease in its ass and to the curb once and for all. You can do it. You can be your own worst enemy or you can be your own best friend. Which one do you want to be?
MisterSuperGod
New Member
He's been on them for an extended amount of time, so in reality, he just traded in whichever opiate he was using for Subs.
The withdrawal from those was the worst i ever experienced. They should only be used short term for getting past the worst of the withdrawal from whatever opiate started the whole clusterfuck in the first place.
Doctors have claimed in the past that Subs aren't addictive and don't cause withdrawal.
i'll bet any doctor that claims this a years pay to take 8mg daily (some prescribe higher) for 6 weeks and tell me they aren't experiencing withdrawal symptoms when they abruptly stop.
Yes....I am screwed in that perspective. I was so busy and couldnt afford to withdraw. Now I have all the time in the world to get off them but i am to scared.
MisterSuperGod
New Member
i hear you, brother.
That's part of what keeps this vicious cycle going, the fear of withdrawal and/or the inability to make it through, once you begin to withdrawal.
It's definitely a bitch, but the temporary suffering is worth the freedom that follows.
fightandorflight
New Member
Addiction is a chronic brain disease. Its not a moral failing, but there are definite moral consequences. Feeling worthless, guilt and shame, are useful to the extent of serving as painful reminders to help abstain from using in the future. But that is the extent of their utility. Otherwise, they are insidious and help to perpetuate the cycle of avoidance by using. Be analytical about it, but you gotta let go of all of the self-defeating thoughts and wallowing. It is all too common to suddenly realize that you're seemingly back to square one and wondering that the hell that even happened to get you back there. You're gonna likely need to rearrange the inside and outside in some pretty radical ways. And you're gonna have to be stubborn about it - doing and thinking things counterintuitive to what you brain is screaming for you to do. Its unnatural, until it isn't and the new lifestyle becomes a habit just like the old one.
You are smart to reach out. There's no one way to skin this cat, but you've got to be honest with yourself about your limitations and vulnerabilities. Someday you will be in a position to help others going through something similar.
It has been an uphill battle this week for sure. Im just moving into a new house after losing it all a few months ago and its been kinda stressful. Also even though im upgrading to a bigger home, my brain cant let go of the fact my kids spend the other half of their time in a house twice the size of mine with their new step dad. I actually still love my kids mom and ruined things with her cheating and lying. Lately even though i love my current gf i cant get my kids mom of my mind she was the love of my life, together for 8 years and i constantly regret doing the things i did to her. Ive tried to talk to her lately about it and apologize, she has gently let me know shes way past it and loves her new husband very much. It seriously sucked hearing that this guy who doesnt even lift treats her much better than i ever had. Honestly its consumed me lately, most likely the reason i slipped up to begin with....sorry for the novel fellas. I have managed to stay clean thus far. Im really thankful for the responses. Hearing what our brothers here have overcome without using has really helped me put some perspective on my issues or lack thereof. Thank you guys all for the responses.
CAswole
New Member
Hey @desertwarrior hope you're doing well brother
TRT
Member
I think the only failure is not trying. If you try and then relapse you learn something new everytime to help you get clean and stay clean. I can't speak from 1st hand experience but I've held the hands of my siblings who went through it time and time again.
fightandorflight
New Member
Keep your head up desertwarrior
Holistic
Member
I've been where your at... It's tough to want to escape reality with something that once it gets a grip on you will destroy everything it can... Drugs are hell.... With all the fentynl out there the next shot could be your last... When your feeling that urge, drag yourself in the gym and take out your frustration there. You can beat this vicious cycle... It's a daily battle though.
