I am not familiar with Kratom...what is it?
MESO-Rx
Anabolic Steroids
Recovering addicts and AAS
- Thread starter Cityofgrit
- Start date
Congrats to everyone here on the milestones.
Wanted to drop in as someone who’s not been an addict but exposed to it daily for 2 decades, and with a question. A pretty large number of my family members exhibit some form.
For you guys that are recovered, has AAS truly taken the place of your other substances? Most importantly are you guys still living just a different sort of addiction or was it specific substances doing that and is AAS allowing you to live a balanced life?
I know watching my father over 20yrs that balance was impossible. Long story short a major accident led to over-prescribed/cross-prescribed meds that eventually weren’t strong enough; took them too fast, ran out, resorted to alcohol, turn the wheel again next month.
I know we say AAS use leads to chasing a “healthier” lifestyle...but use and abuse share a fine line.
Wanted to drop in as someone who’s not been an addict but exposed to it daily for 2 decades, and with a question. A pretty large number of my family members exhibit some form.
For you guys that are recovered, has AAS truly taken the place of your other substances? Most importantly are you guys still living just a different sort of addiction or was it specific substances doing that and is AAS allowing you to live a balanced life?
I know watching my father over 20yrs that balance was impossible. Long story short a major accident led to over-prescribed/cross-prescribed meds that eventually weren’t strong enough; took them too fast, ran out, resorted to alcohol, turn the wheel again next month.
I know we say AAS use leads to chasing a “healthier” lifestyle...but use and abuse share a fine line.
T&H
Member
It's a natural herbal supplement I think, at least it's how it's marketed. It does a few different things, helps with pain, relaxation, etc. Problem is it activates the same receptors that opioids does. It can be bought online and in some gas stations.
That's an excellent question..and it most likely differs for each of us. For me, that was really the question I had to ask myself before I started AAS. Was it replacing another addiction? I think for me, when I tried tren the only time I did and stopped because I didn't like how short my fuse got, it gave me my answer. I never did that when using meth. It was literally killing me and had destroyed my life and I still couldn't just give it up. I think another example was Primo. It started to have an impact on my hair and I won't use it again because of that..even though I liked the results to my physique. I believe I balance my use vs. the consequences in a healthier way. I know it sounds a bit petty about the Primo, but honestly, in my addiction I didn't give a damn about the toll it was taking on me. Today I do. I check my blood pressure, get bloodwork done, eat clean, and take time away from AAS use, outside of my doctor prescribed TRT. I never had that level of responsibility when I was in active addiction.
JP1979
Member
I will say for me, when I first quit I would find things to replace it. In the last 11.99 years I found that being the case less and less. TRT is what got me interested in what AAS could do for me. Do I have an addictive personality, yes, but... I can walk away from something now at the drop of a hat.
About 2 years ago they gave me Valium for anxiety issues I was having. Started first month, life was fucking grand, greatest I'd been in years.... Until that 4 day stretch when I was out of them and couldn't get in to the doctor to get a new script for a fill up. Worst 4 days ever, after day 2 I decided fuck that, I've seen this movie before and never went to get it refilled.
I’m sure you’re right, hoping more guys answer.
Fairly decent metric to go by though, I’d say. Glad to hear man. If that kind of awareness is present it sure doesn’t sound like it’s owning you.
I have a story like that. I had kidney surgery to remove a very large stone. The had me on dilauded the entire time I was at the hospital..about 5 days. They gave my oxy to take home. About the second day I was home I realized that I was breathlessly waiting for the 4-6 hours to go by to be able to take the next oxy. At that point I gave the oxy to my mom to get rid of. Just like you, I've seen that movie before. Fuck that.
It's a question that I'm sure I will have to revisit again. But I don't plan on using AAS for my entire life. There will be a day when I walk away from it.
JP1979
Member
It's crazy. 4 years ago I had my hip fixed. They gave me 8 Norco a day for the first 10 days.... I made it to day 3, I missed my morning 2 doses. I felt sick, and sweating like a pig. Again, took the rest of the bottle and tossed them. Toughed it out the rest of the time with Advil and CBD Balm. [emoji23]
I know!! I made it through my recovery with advil! Lol I even tell the doctors that I am a recovering addict before they do any surgeries or anything.
Big Swole Papa Smurf
Banned
I read some of the thread but I will have to finish it later. I read all of your first post tho.
Just wanted to say, knowing we have a lil history of talking to each other, lol
That I myself am a recovering addict. I got 10 years in with a 3 month relapse in 2014/15. Pussy! That is what caused my relapse. Ran into an ex that I used to be with in the middle of my meth addiction. I too was an intravenous drug user too. I know your story only too well. Was on from 1997 to 2009.
Unfortunately for me I went to California and learned how to cook. That started a decade long addiction. 3 prison sentences and a long road to recovery.
I used aas, as a way to not drink which is my last issue. I went 3 years without having a drink. Fucked around and got drunk a few times this year.
However my relapse in 2014/15 I walked away from it on my own, and cleaned myself up, without no help.
Was homeless and didn’t have a dime to my name.
Today I own my own home, and it’s paid for. My biggest lesson I learned was, don’t sabotage my own fucking life.
If I was honest 90% of my problems I’ve caused myself.
Some of the other things I’ve learned.
No matter what you do keep your business to yourself. Ppl change!
Addiction could take mother Theresa and make her the devils wife.
Lol hey bro.
Don’t you hate it when you bicker with someone only to find out your both pretty much alike?
I read the whole thread later when I get a chance.
Also I love threads like this. It’s ppl being real and talking about real shit.
Good thread bro!
This is what harm prevention is!
Haha you are right! We bicker only to find out, we have a lot in common! Glad to have you here!
Cookieman
Member
I can only speak from my perspective. I have 5 years of continuous sobriety. This isn't the 1st time that I've been clean and sober, I once had 13 years before a relapse. I was training natty when I had 13 years. My ex wife would've never been ok with me using gear. I've been cycling this go around of sobriety for maybe 3 years now. Both times I got clean was in 12 step fellowships, 1st time in NA, this time in AA. I follow that way of life..try to be of use to others, apply spiritual principles to my life, etc...I don't feel as though gear has been a replacement for the other things that I was addicted to. I was freed from those obsessions and compulsions before I decided to use gear. I guess I view myself as a clean and sober guy that just happens to like steroids..haha..Not sure if this gives some understanding, but I gave it a shot.. Glad someone made this thread and congrats to all who have made recovery a priority in their lives..It truly is a blessing
Big Swole Papa Smurf
Banned
It only works if you work it
Keep coming back.
I to got clean before AAS.
But I occasionally would still have a drink plus I was on Vicodin of course doctor prescribed .
But when I Saw taking orals and drinking or using other prescription drugs was a bad combination I quit taking the Vicodin
So in a roundabout way I could say that AAS has helped me get off the Vicodin which was Dr. prescribed of course. And of course it keeps me from drinking...
Big Swole Papa Smurf
Banned
By the way awesome on your clean time bro good job
Big Swole Papa Smurf
Banned
Big Swole Papa Smurf
Banned
I will respond later when I got some time. It’s a great question by the way.
Absolutely fuckin crazy that I ran across this thread. I just celebrated another year this month. Been in recovery for 16 years. I actually became a licensed D&A counselor 8 years in but have been out of the field for a few years...bureaucracy in the treatment industry left me feeling disdainful about my career but I've learned a lot about this shit.
Oddly, I also decided to go the AAS route do to ending up on TRT.
Certainly questioned myself going down the AAS road but my thoughts on addictive substances is that if 1 (insert preferred substance and route of administration here) makes me feel good and 2 makes me feel great then 3 should be enough...no wait 4...or 5...or 6...ad infinitum. I don't get a high off Testosterone and I've spent enough time researching AAS to know none of the others are going to get me high either. Training is a discipline, taking AAS is a discipline, eating right is a discipline, getting loaded all the time...is a lot of things...but it is most definitely not a discipline.
I was a garbage can junkie but in the end Heroin...then Methadone brought me to my knees. Alcohol, meth, and everything under the sun has totalled my life in different ways. I jumped from substance to substance looking for an escape but always hit a dead end eventually with everything I abused. Opiates grabbed me by the balls and never let go till I let go.
Funny thing is, I IV'ed almost anything I could get inside a slin pin but pinning myself for TRT doesn't even remind me of getting loaded. I guess part of it is there is no immediate effect like there is with dope...mentally I don't feel much different when I pin my shot. Part of it is that I haven't played with needles in so long that handling a pin doesn't trigger me I guess.
There are dudes hooked on 20grams a day of this crap. It's a partial opiate agonist similar to a lot of opiate synthetics. Keep an eye on it. It'll be illegal soon enough. Tramadol was said to be nonaddictive when the pharmaceutical world introduced it to the public, then doctors came pouring into treatment centers with Tramadol addictions 5 years later. Kratom isn't Tramadol, Tramadol isn't codeine, codeine isn't hydrocodone, hydrocodone isn't demerol, demerol isn't heroin, but they all hit the opiate receptors and if you're an addict like me then Kratom isn't anything to be fucked with.
Really though...I can't believe so many of us are on here, that's crazy as hell.
Oddly, I also decided to go the AAS route do to ending up on TRT.
Certainly questioned myself going down the AAS road but my thoughts on addictive substances is that if 1 (insert preferred substance and route of administration here) makes me feel good and 2 makes me feel great then 3 should be enough...no wait 4...or 5...or 6...ad infinitum. I don't get a high off Testosterone and I've spent enough time researching AAS to know none of the others are going to get me high either. Training is a discipline, taking AAS is a discipline, eating right is a discipline, getting loaded all the time...is a lot of things...but it is most definitely not a discipline.
I was a garbage can junkie but in the end Heroin...then Methadone brought me to my knees. Alcohol, meth, and everything under the sun has totalled my life in different ways. I jumped from substance to substance looking for an escape but always hit a dead end eventually with everything I abused. Opiates grabbed me by the balls and never let go till I let go.
Funny thing is, I IV'ed almost anything I could get inside a slin pin but pinning myself for TRT doesn't even remind me of getting loaded. I guess part of it is there is no immediate effect like there is with dope...mentally I don't feel much different when I pin my shot. Part of it is that I haven't played with needles in so long that handling a pin doesn't trigger me I guess.
Regarding Kratom:
There are dudes hooked on 20grams a day of this crap. It's a partial opiate agonist similar to a lot of opiate synthetics. Keep an eye on it. It'll be illegal soon enough. Tramadol was said to be nonaddictive when the pharmaceutical world introduced it to the public, then doctors came pouring into treatment centers with Tramadol addictions 5 years later. Kratom isn't Tramadol, Tramadol isn't codeine, codeine isn't hydrocodone, hydrocodone isn't demerol, demerol isn't heroin, but they all hit the opiate receptors and if you're an addict like me then Kratom isn't anything to be fucked with.
Really though...I can't believe so many of us are on here, that's crazy as hell.
Welcome brother! Congratulations on 16 years!!! Damn that is one hell of a milestone! I totally agree... I was shooting up and pinning even TRT made me a little nervous, but it doesn't effect me the same way. I definitely don't get high. All of this is a discipline and I think a lot of us put time into planning, preparation, lifting hard and eating right. I think the fact that we take health into consideration is a huge differentiation from the street drugs..or psychoactive substances we were using. I know, for me personally, life is vastly different today. It's awesome that we can combine our lifestyle now with our recovery!
A friend of mine with 41 years in NA says he now looks at the "disease of addiction" as "the gift of wanting more out of life"...love that saying of his.
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