Beating kids

[FruckImDrunk]

Curious to different approaches of correcting young adult behavior.

I have two boys that recently entered into their teenage years, overall well behaved but they have this knack for just not wanting to do or turn in homework. Unfortunately, my job requires me to be gone 3-4 months at a time and frequency varies. This year I’ve been gone 6 months in total (enough for two school quarters). Their grades drop juristically when I’m gone from the 90/80’s to the 70/60’s all because of failure to turn in homework. My poor wife honestly gets ran over when she does her best to balance life and their lives at the home. I will be returning home soon to what is supposed to be a happy time but I honestly want to walk in and just start kicking ass lol.
My normal approach to discipline is hard labor. You waste my time I waste yours which usually ends up in yard work or something of that nature. Seems that they have adapted to this and it’s no longer working.
If you have dealt with a similar situation what are some of the approaches you have taken ? Is lacing the 12oz gloves up and taking them out back no longer a realistic option? Thy are not currently in a sport but I’m thinking that it would greatly benefit them.

 

[MisterSuperGod]

Take them into the basement where no one will hear their screams.

Or just talk to them.

If they don't want to work at Hot Topic their entire lives, hating every single person that walks through the door, day dreaming about becoming a mass murder in their spare time and going on frequent bathroom trips to sit on the toilet and cry, then they need to shape up and have the importance of a proper education drilled into them.

 

[notdeadYET]

If a puppy pisses on your floor, do you kick the dog? I’d say that is the owners fault for not taking the dog out and being on a schedule.

Listen, I’m an asshole. Definitely the enforcer in my house. Two things aren’t tolerated, disobedience and disrespect. They say yes sir, no sir, yes ma’am, no ma’am. If I ask them to do something if they don’t immediately do what I ask then that is disobedience. Delayed obedience is disobedience. That said, yes I have sparked my kids when they were younger.

Now to your situation. Have you taught your kids the importance of studying and homework? Have you taught them how to study? My oldest was failing not only because he wasn’t studying and doing homework but because we also failed him. Also, kids today get makeover tests, are allowed to turn in missing work days and weeks late for a lesser but passing grade.

Now everyday they must prove that they have no assignments or tests. If they do, that’s the priority. If they don’t, they have freedom. If they lie, I find out and they lose privileges.

Basically if you sit your kids down, teach them how to study, why homework is important, your kids will hopefully learn.

Another example, homework is worth 40% of his semester grade. There is no reason he shouldn’t have 100%.

Good luck man. Remember this, your time with your kids is running out. These are the times they’ll remember most. Be the hero if you can and lead, teach them. Pick your battles.

 

[Sworder]

You are gonna have to use better bait.

 

[FruckImDrunk]

My wife has been much more dedicated to the situation obviously with my ongoing absence. She has sat them down, explained to them the consequences of their actions, and punished them accordingly. Her discipline is normally more lenient and something along the line of “no video games or toys”. She is also employed full time so you can see how this gets her on edge, and patience is running low.
My approach is usually more of a quick action quick results. They straiten up when I come home and regress when I leave normally. @notdeadYET One thing I admit I haven’t done is sat them down and clearly explained the later consequences or their current actions. I didn’t finish school so I know the consequences of failing to get at minimum a diploma. Now I have to balance work, family, and college in my late 30’s which sucks when I could have had one of those completed. Sports is something I think may get them on track and keep them on track while I’m away. Appreciate everyone’s input

 

[johntt44]

I've always treated my kids like they are intelligent human beings. They've made the right decisions 99.9% of the time. Even when my kids were little theyd look at some other people's kids and shake their head. It carried over into their adult lives. I've rarely had to say anything to them because of their school work or behavior.

 

[FruckImDrunk]

I've always treated my kids like they are intelligent human beings. They've made the right decisions 99.9% of the time. Even when my kids were little theyd look at some other people's kids and shake their head. It carried over into their adult lives. I've rarely had to say anything to them because of their school work or behavior.

You’re one of the lucky ones brother. I really blame my absence for a lot of it

 

[johntt44]

Yeah, its hard being on the road. I was lucky. My wife and I were both there. You really have to groom them from the start. Youll be fine, believe me.

 

[johntt44]

My parents were both there and I was a motherfucker! Did well in school and behaved around family and friends but when I got out of sight? My kids are better than I was for sure.

 

[rpbb]

Curious to different approaches of correcting young adult behavior.

I have two boys that recently entered into their teenage years, overall well behaved but they have this knack for just not wanting to do or turn in homework. Unfortunately, my job requires me to be gone 3-4 months at a time and frequency varies. This year I’ve been gone 6 months in total (enough for two school quarters). Their grades drop juristically when I’m gone from the 90/80’s to the 70/60’s all because of failure to turn in homework. My poor wife honestly gets ran over when she does her best to balance life and their lives at the home. I will be returning home soon to what is supposed to be a happy time but I honestly want to walk in and just start kicking ass lol.
My normal approach to discipline is hard labor. You waste my time I waste yours which usually ends up in yard work or something of that nature. Seems that they have adapted to this and it’s no longer working.
If you have dealt with a similar situation what are some of the approaches you have taken ? Is lacing the 12oz gloves up and taking them out back no longer a realistic option? Thy are not currently in a sport but I’m thinking that it would greatly benefit them.

stay home and raise your kids dipshit. beating them because you're failing to do your job, be a man, and raise them , is bullshit

 

[johntt44]

stay home and raise your kids dipshit. beating them because you're failing to do your job, be a man, and raise them , is bullshit

I don't think he's serious about beating them and he hasnt. Switching jobs would be his best option though.

 

[notdeadYET]

stay home and raise your kids dipshit. beating them because you're failing to do your job, be a man, and raise them , is bullshit

When my kids were young I would spank them. Not terrible, but a little pop. It wasn’t very common that I needed to do this so maybe a kid would get spanked every year or two. I remember when my oldest got too big to spank. I was like damn, boy is putting up a fight. I was both glad and sad at the same time. It meant he was growing up too fast. Now when the oldest gets in trouble we talk for an hour or two. I wonder if he’d rather take the spanking.

 

[FruckImDrunk]

stay home and raise your kids dipshit. beating them because you're failing to do your job, be a man, and raise them , is bullshit

Fuck man, if I only I would have thought of this lol.

 

[FruckImDrunk]

I don't think he's serious about beating them and he hasnt. Switching jobs would be his best option though.

Unfortunately I am under contract for at least the next three years. Done 17 so far so not much longer. You can guaran damn tee I won’t be leaving the house that long after

 

[rpbb]

Unfortunately I am under contract for at least the next three years. Done 17 so far so not much longer. You can guaran damn tee I won’t be leaving the house that long after

can be done, I stopped traveling and took a lower paying job before my girls became teenagers. No amount of money in the world was worth it to me to be away from my kids during those years. You should be kissing your wifes ass

 

[Btcowboy]

I traveled for work the better part of 24 years except the odd layoff or stint close to home. Sucks missed birthdays, Christmases, trips to the lake, graduations, missed a lot not to mention the solitary lifestyle too.... as for discipline it's tough being away. I used to be the bad cop when home but the kids knew when I left again mom would lighten it up.. there isn't a right answer here from me anyways. Do what you can.

 

[Sworder]

When my kids were young I would spank them. Not terrible

It is terrible. You are teaching them that when you get angry you use physical violence.
Guess what, they will spank their kids too. Because Dad taught them to hit when angry.

Also, they can't UNLEARN or FORGET that.
You are supposed to be a ROLE MODEL for the child. A good example. The Best of the Best.

Impress your kids with your PATIENCE, not with your ANGER.
Show them LOVE, not PAIN.
Fuck man!

Save whatever excuse it is you have. It is terrible and there is no changing that fact. Yes, you should feel bad.

 

[Sworder]

Btw, when somebody's writing is at an IQ of 110-120 and their message is an IQ of 80-90. THEY ARE PROBABLY TROLLING!

 

[notdeadYET]

It is terrible. You are teaching them that when you get angry you use physical violence.
Guess what, they will spank their kids too. Because Dad taught them to hit when angry.

Also, they can't UNLEARN or FORGET that.
You are supposed to be a ROLE MODEL for the child. A good example. The Best of the Best.

Impress your kids with your PATIENCE, not with your ANGER.
Show them LOVE, not PAIN.
Fuck man!

Save whatever excuse it is you have. It is terrible and there is no changing that fact. Yes, you should feel bad.

I make no excuses for my parenting. Sometimes shit happens. Yes, I’ve popped (not beaten) my kids bottoms. Maybe 1-2 times. And you know what, one, I cried, and two I sat with them afterwards and talked with them about God, life, expectations. They have matured, I have evolved.

I have good kids. They’re in church every Sunday. Small group every Wednesday. I’ve passed up work opportunities to be closer to home. I’ve stuck with a job that allows me to work from home so that I’m with my kids as much as possible. We forgo a second income as my wife doesn’t work so she can also experience and enjoy our children.

I’ve learned Pokémon, read more comic books than I’ve ever imagined, coached sports teams, caught more bluegill than I ever wanted to, you name it. My kids have never seen me drink alcohol.

So I think by and large I’m doing alright. We just got done having hot chocolate and now the kids are in bed. And I’m holding my daughter while she falls asleep because she loves me.

So fuck you buddy. Hope you’re doing good.

 

[Sworder]

I have good kids. They’re in church every Sunday.

Don't start along these lines! They aren't good because they go to church. They are good because of their values and how they treat people.
You know a lot more than me if they have any "red flag" behaviors yet. I honestly don't think so based on your personality, however I do have to say something. This thread was created for me after all.

Keep in mind you are always teaching your kids something. Teach them the right things! I think you get it, clarifying for others mainly.

So fuck you buddy. Hope you’re doing good.

Thank you, today has been a great day. Raining too! Free car wash