VIRTUAL FANS
Virtual Fans
Because of the coronavirus, fans haven’t been allowed into professional sports. But, the leagues are attempting to recreate a live atmosphere for their games.
In Major League Baseball, there are cutouts of human beings in the stands. With lifeless fans, it truly does make the game more boring. But, baseball isn’t going go be able to finish their season anyway (that’s a not-so-bold prediction).
The NBA is actually piping fans in. That is, they’re on screens watching the game in real-time so there are actual genuine reactions to what’s happening.
World Wrestling Entertainment company was the first “sport” to return because after giving Republicans a shit ton of money, Florida’s governor declared wrestling an “essential” service. Apparently in Florida, it’s essential to see people get clobbered in their heads with chairs and thrown through tables. But, they have actual fans in attendance. Granted, they’re trainees so technically, these “fans” are being paid to be there. So, I guess that kinda makes them virtual fans.
Also, soccer, hockey, and NASCAR are playing again (does NASCAR “play?”) but I haven’t watched any of those yet and when I do, it’ll just be hockey.
It seems Donald Trump might want to take a cue from professional sports.
The Trump Campaign boasted about the million people ordering tickets to his Tulsa rally. The venue could seat about 19,000 people but only 6,000 showed up and it killed Trump’s black friend Herman Cain. It was a sad day. Also, it got his Campaign Manager and grifter Brad Parscale fired. On top of all that, Trump is now planning to ban TikTok because K-pop fans used the app to organize fake ticket requests (also, there’s a brilliant comedian, Sarah Cooper, doing lip-sync impersonations of Trump that’s really pissing him off).
Over the weekend, when Donald Trump wasn’t golfing, he went to Florida for a fundraiser and ended up holding a mini Trump rally on the tarmac after getting off the plane. Donald Trump ranted his usual set, playing all the hits, to a…did I say “mini Trump rally? Yeah, he played all the hits to a very sparse crowd doing their best not to wear face masks in order to catch the coronavirus for Donald Trump. I’m using the word “sparse” generously here.
How “sparse” was it? It was so sparse, the White House released a photo of it where…wait for it…they photo-shopped in more people. Actually, it wasn’t more people. It was the same people. They took the crowd and multiplied it. So, if you look at the photo carefully, you see the same racist assholes several times. It’s kinda like when Fox News shows a photo of Jeffrey Epstein, they crop out Donald Trump. Seriously.
Altering pictures of Donald Trump isn’t new to this White House, In the past, they’ve doctored photos to make Donald Trump appear thinner and stand up straight. They’ve even added crowds to his crowds, usually by taking crowds from much more popular events, like Antique Road Show (I made that up, sort of). It’s kinda like whenever Melania delivers a speech, she has to steal it from Michelle Obama, who by the way, is probably going to be missing some roses from her rose garden very soon.
I expect the Republicans to pipe people into their convention later this month. Holy crap! That’s this month? But anyway, maybe they’ll do it like the NBA and display screens of fans in real-time. I mean, sure it won’t be as diverse as an NBA audience but it could be Trump’s best opportunity to actually feature black people in his crowd…you know…that they’re not going to kill later. And maybe they can actually feature someone wearing a “Blacks for Trump” shirt who is actually a black person.
Donald Trump always boasted that large attendance at his rallies proves how popular he is. So using his logic, or what little of it there actually is, what do small crowds say about his support? I mean, if you can’t even get the racist assholes to come out in Florida, you’re might be kinda doomed. Maybe they were all watching wrestling.
I miss fans at actual sports (not wrestling or NASCAR). They’re a part of the game. But I’m not going to miss seeing thousands of racist Republicans on my TV. Or at least, they won’t be in the same room as the event. I’m looking forward to the dead air hurting Donald Trump’s tiny feeble feelings. The true irony is that Donald Trump’s fans are fake anyway. They’re fake patriots. They’re fake Christians. Hell, they’re fake Americans.
And maybe after November, we won’t have to deal with a fake president anymore.