So guys, I'm starting to doubt if I should continue this path of bulking...I think I'm putting my body through a ton of stress and I just feel run down.
Today is my last Deca injection, so I would have concluded this Deca only experiment, which was derailed by anadrol for 19 days, where I quickly gained weight. Despite that, the main point of this experiement was to show to everyone that its ok to run a cycle without test. Sadly, I wish I was bulking from the very beginning so we could have truly seen Deca's potential, but I didn't know better, thinking I could "maingain" and see what happens; I've only been bulking since Dec 10th.
Last night really made me think: I felt like I had the flu, I was nauseous, and couldn't even get my meals down and all. I literally woke up unable to breathe several times; it seems somehow my throat, tongue, or whatever, has become bigger and my nasal cavity can't even exhale on its own when I sleep on my back, as if I have sleep apnea! This doesn't help that my nose is stuffy and I've been sick with stupid things every two weeks it seems...so it could be something else, but I feel its a combination of everything.
Before this, when I was force-feeding, I felt like puking every night; even though that was resolved by dropping calories, now waking up 15 times basically choking. This is not a lifestyle that is fun. I'm hoping the anadrol is the culprit for all this, that perhaps it has increased water retention even in my throat or something, and it will go away when I drop it. Regardless, I do know I'm going to take the rest of the week off to see what happens, ceasing all drugs aside from GH so I can heal, because I feel like I've been hit by a truck and I need the rest: I have been pushing everything hard.
If I'm not 100% by Monday, after the drol is completely out of my system and I hopefully feel much better, then I'm probably going to stop this shit. This is just getting stupid at age 37, and it's probably not even smart lol, but I wanted to see what I could do. I'm doing this for fun, but this isn't fun anymore, and I'm not even going to get into competing or anything like that so its not even worth it. I'm thinking maybe I should stop fucking around and just go back to getting lean.
In reality, the only two muscle groups I'd want to get bigger are my arms and calves... I could just eat in a surplus on those training days and perhaps get localized growth, esp with slin and nutrients being implemented.
Anyway, I'm not making a choice yet, but this is how I feel as of right now. Either way, the Deca experiment has made its point; I do have more on the way as I wanted to continue going into March, but we will see.
I welcome any comments on this matter, and I will also tell coach about this as well.