BabaJagga
Member
MESO-Rx
Anabolic Steroids
Personal log from first cycle
- Thread starter BabaJagga
- Start date
dinfar1337
New Member
upload the cat ones, my big sister always send me those
BabaJagga
Member
BabaJagga
Member
my sleep is fcked up so much. in kast 2 weeks, im sleeping like 5 hours every night. ussually. before test, my hobby was sleeping, i could go for 10+ hours and sleep like baby.
now, i have trouble falling asleep before 23:00-midnight, i have very light sleep and wake up around 5:00 with hunger and boner.
carbs before bed dont help much, i used to have problem falling asleep hungry and carbs always worked.
not sure how to deal with it yet but it makes me misserable and dont have enough energy for day. maybe cns stimulation from test? im not sure
libido is completly out of the hand, i was waiting in line in grocery store, holding big pack of curd, like 6kg, in hands, right in front of me was this ukrainian chick, good looking and i got boner. from 0 to stiff like in 5 seconds.
honestly, this is super annoying as its impacting my daily life too much, i would pay for deca dick rn...
anyway, have kind of free day from work today, on my way to gym for push day and then 6-7km walk with mom's mini daschshunds cause its nice and sunny today.
now, i have trouble falling asleep before 23:00-midnight, i have very light sleep and wake up around 5:00 with hunger and boner.
carbs before bed dont help much, i used to have problem falling asleep hungry and carbs always worked.
not sure how to deal with it yet but it makes me misserable and dont have enough energy for day. maybe cns stimulation from test? im not sure
libido is completly out of the hand, i was waiting in line in grocery store, holding big pack of curd, like 6kg, in hands, right in front of me was this ukrainian chick, good looking and i got boner. from 0 to stiff like in 5 seconds.
honestly, this is super annoying as its impacting my daily life too much, i would pay for deca dick rn...
anyway, have kind of free day from work today, on my way to gym for push day and then 6-7km walk with mom's mini daschshunds cause its nice and sunny today.
BabaJagga
Member
legday today + abs. it will be rainy and cold weekend so i decided i dont need my legs to
function for next few days
i did my ussuall 3 excercises 4 sets for abs first, then legs
squats, ended at 80kg 2 sets x10 as warmup
after that, legpress. my PB was 250kg x14 reps. i worked my way up to 200kg for 2 sets x10, then 240kg x8 and then asked guy next to me to spot me. for the first time, i tried 280kg and without much issue, it was x8.
i belive 300kg is there for 3-4x for sure. will try that some time, i dont like to push my max weights too often, also i never did 1 rep max. im not interested that much.
hack squat on machine 4 sets, then leg extensions (i think? for quads) another 4 sets.
i decided to do RDL and hiptrusts, 4 sets of each and seated calf raises as last one.
tbh, it was more like "i wanna do this" than strict planned training, killed my legs probably more that i should but i like it from time to time.
writing this from spa after some sauna and cold plunge.
other than that, everything is goin without issues. i dont overeat, im not much fatter, no sides, just smooth ride so far. love mental benefits of test so far.
function for next few days
i did my ussuall 3 excercises 4 sets for abs first, then legs
squats, ended at 80kg 2 sets x10 as warmup
after that, legpress. my PB was 250kg x14 reps. i worked my way up to 200kg for 2 sets x10, then 240kg x8 and then asked guy next to me to spot me. for the first time, i tried 280kg and without much issue, it was x8.
i belive 300kg is there for 3-4x for sure. will try that some time, i dont like to push my max weights too often, also i never did 1 rep max. im not interested that much.
hack squat on machine 4 sets, then leg extensions (i think? for quads) another 4 sets.
i decided to do RDL and hiptrusts, 4 sets of each and seated calf raises as last one.
tbh, it was more like "i wanna do this" than strict planned training, killed my legs probably more that i should but i like it from time to time.
writing this from spa after some sauna and cold plunge.
other than that, everything is goin without issues. i dont overeat, im not much fatter, no sides, just smooth ride so far. love mental benefits of test so far.
BabaJagga
Member
pushday today...
goddamn the pump on chest and side delts... chest is my weakest point probably, but today pump was insane, like i had doubled size of the chest../
shoulders still hurt, any push movements are not pleasent at all.
i think its time for deload week, i will start with 2mg bpc157 daily next week on monday, hopefully it will get better.
funny thing is, i have new veins on my legs, they pop up on push day like today also. quads and calf veins to be specific.
i have white skin with blue veins so i can see that road map on my leg but they are not popped yet. one of my personal goals is to have vascular quads and calfs.
appetite is not big enough i would say, i could eat 50% less and be happy. today i had bowl of mac and cheese (one of few dishes i can do very well) with chicken breast mixed into it, it was good, spicy but i was struggling to finish it. like 150g chicken, 150g of pasta, 100g of cheese and 150ml of milk.
honestly guys, i cant imagine eating 4-5-6k kcal daily. maybe with sweet stuff but since i decided to not be fat slob anymore, i changed my view on such foods and cant enjoy them anymore. so for me, it would be huge struggle, probably one of the reasons why i wont be big
anyway, i like my progress so far, weight gain has slowed down, im gaining like less than 1kg per week but feel much better than first weeks with huge increase in scale weight.
94,5kg morning weight after piss so im super happy. so im +14kg so far. i wonder how much i will piss away after dropping to cruise dose and how much strenght will go away also.
i hope for good weather after next, cold week so i can hop on bike.
goddamn the pump on chest and side delts... chest is my weakest point probably, but today pump was insane, like i had doubled size of the chest../
shoulders still hurt, any push movements are not pleasent at all.
i think its time for deload week, i will start with 2mg bpc157 daily next week on monday, hopefully it will get better.
funny thing is, i have new veins on my legs, they pop up on push day like today also. quads and calf veins to be specific.
i have white skin with blue veins so i can see that road map on my leg but they are not popped yet. one of my personal goals is to have vascular quads and calfs.
appetite is not big enough i would say, i could eat 50% less and be happy. today i had bowl of mac and cheese (one of few dishes i can do very well) with chicken breast mixed into it, it was good, spicy but i was struggling to finish it. like 150g chicken, 150g of pasta, 100g of cheese and 150ml of milk.
honestly guys, i cant imagine eating 4-5-6k kcal daily. maybe with sweet stuff but since i decided to not be fat slob anymore, i changed my view on such foods and cant enjoy them anymore. so for me, it would be huge struggle, probably one of the reasons why i wont be big
anyway, i like my progress so far, weight gain has slowed down, im gaining like less than 1kg per week but feel much better than first weeks with huge increase in scale weight.
94,5kg morning weight after piss so im super happy. so im +14kg so far. i wonder how much i will piss away after dropping to cruise dose and how much strenght will go away also.
i hope for good weather after next, cold week so i can hop on bike.
BabaJagga
Member
little update guys, if anyone is reading this.
workouts are great. i feel strong. yesterday i broke my pb and did bent over rows, 100kg for good 5 reps, good tempo, no ego lifting.
today i tried 100kg squat, i was affraid about knees, havent tried 100+kg since highschool... anyway, 8 good reps. i was happy so 120kg, another 8. i didnt go higher but its there. will try 140 next time probably.
im struggling to eat, loss of appetite. probably from stress from work, mentally i feel off last few days. debating point of all this with myself, yesterday i was in bad place and im glad we dont have guns in here...
anyway, im losing hair for some time now. it was my destiny since i was born, for idk, almost 15 years im buzzing my hair to shortest lenght possible every week but today i said fck it and shaved it with razor. havent been shaved since highschool i think.
its quite annoying procces at first, took me good 20mins to make it smooth and without cuts. i will have to do it daily or eod at least but fck hair. i dont wanna be that guy with reciding hairline, i also have full beard so, its better this way.
also since monday, i added 2mg of bpc157 daily with hope that my shoulder maybe will get better. will see.
workouts are great. i feel strong. yesterday i broke my pb and did bent over rows, 100kg for good 5 reps, good tempo, no ego lifting.
today i tried 100kg squat, i was affraid about knees, havent tried 100+kg since highschool... anyway, 8 good reps. i was happy so 120kg, another 8. i didnt go higher but its there. will try 140 next time probably.
im struggling to eat, loss of appetite. probably from stress from work, mentally i feel off last few days. debating point of all this with myself, yesterday i was in bad place and im glad we dont have guns in here...
anyway, im losing hair for some time now. it was my destiny since i was born, for idk, almost 15 years im buzzing my hair to shortest lenght possible every week but today i said fck it and shaved it with razor. havent been shaved since highschool i think.
its quite annoying procces at first, took me good 20mins to make it smooth and without cuts. i will have to do it daily or eod at least but fck hair. i dont wanna be that guy with reciding hairline, i also have full beard so, its better this way.
also since monday, i added 2mg of bpc157 daily with hope that my shoulder maybe will get better. will see.
dinfar1337
New Member
damn u have good form with 5 reps? i switched from barbell rows to smith machine barbell rows just so i can look myself in the mirror, absolutely no swinging i need to go down to a weight of atleast 8-9 reps. my back been fucking pumped feel so dense now i do it right.
BabaJagga
Member
well, i havent used smith machine yet. like, never. i start my pull workout ussually with barbell rows as warm up, climb slowly to 80-90kg and then use machines / cables.
i know its not lot of weight but for me, its not little either. sure, there are guys much stronger than me but whatever.
few weeks back i watched guy deadlifting i think 260kg for 5 reps, then guy threw away 2 plates on side and right after DL, he did rows with 160kg. it was amazing to watch tbh. for small town gym at least.
BabaJagga
Member
tbh guys, im bit shamed to write these numbers cause on gear, i probably should lift much much heavier, or should i say before gear... but, it is what it is, im comparing myself only with myself and im happy with progress...
dinfar1337
New Member
progress is everything, im not strong but i still remember the days when i was doing 80kg barbell rows thinking 100kg is impressive. now i rock 140kg and i still feel weak and wanna lift more. its good to always set new goals for yourself
Eddie.
Member
Numbers don't reflect always to results. From the moment you're progressing, it's fine. Although after years of training you can still progress with declining numbers. For reference my best lifts natty were 235kg deep squat, 177,5 bench, 270 deadlift..and rows, i could go up to 160kg for a full set of 8 with not perfect but good technique. Since i got on gear i quit bench (i'm doing only smith incline occasionally 140kgX8), i quit squats (doing occasionally with very elevated heels 8cm up to 140-150X8) and deadlifts i haven't touched for 6 months probably.
I believe it's crucial to built a foundation on strength but you can't always expect progress on strength regardless of natty or enhanced after like 10-15 years of training if your aspiration is builiding a physique and not powerlifting.
I learnt when that time came when all my different minor pains and aches started getting serious and having me woke up all night from the pain.
Also, i don't know what most people experience but i don't notice any difference in strength when i'm on 180mg gear vs 1gr gear. It's the same for me.
dinfar1337
New Member
the last statement is so true. im getting stronger the same on trt as i do on full blown cycle. just going up 1 rep each workout on most excersises. smaller muscles like side delts or biceps might only go up every 2-3 workouts
BabaJagga
Member
thanks guys. im no powerlifter and have 0 ambition for big boy weights. for me its just tool to work the muscle to grow. numbers are just numbers for me...
malfeasance
Member
You did not go higher on weight, but could you have gone higher on reps? Could you have performed a ninth rep safely and effectively?
BabaJagga
Member
yes, without issues i think.
i think i could do 120 for 8 without an issues also, will try next time.
im bit scared of squats, my knees are bad. when i started with training again some time ago, once i felt sharp pain in knee with 60kg on back and i couldnt hold it, bar felt down, me also in tears. not pleasent experience
dinfar1337
New Member
well maybe you could try pendulum squats etc and set a fixed height? i set it just below where the ass to the grass height is so i can fall down if i ever cant get the weight up and not be stuck under the weight. but nothing u can feel even while going full rom. Although i always go to failure on it its super hard to fuck them up
BabaJagga
Member
its better, i havent been on humira back then.
since i started humira, year ago i think? its much better. i think joints are damaged but process that was damaging them stopped.
but you know. with 120-140 or more kg on back, i dont wanna experience it again.
i like normal barbell squat as excercise, i could do 110-120kg when i was 16 and started training in first weeks. not best for growth but its somewhat nice feeling from them.
anyway, we have this squat rack where if you fail, barbell fall on iron rack, or part of it. idk how to describe it, i can snap photo next time
BabaJagga
Member
anyway, good pull workout today. not best but good. hated bicep part as always.
at the end, i put liquid chalk on my palms, attached chain and 10kg kettlebell on me and stretched on pullups bar. very very nice, i would bet i was taller after that
anyway, tomorrow i need to change oil, filters and brake pads on 2 trucks so some physical work, im pretty happy about it.
its somewhat nice to be bit dirty, "play" with tools, pour lot of oil in and out.
after that, i expect friend to come to make raspberry muffins with few glasses of wine.
doubled the dose of cialis to 20mg, added 50mg of proviron cause why not, will be fun hopefully.... i havent had sip of any alcohol
since 28.2.2021, i think i will have maybe one or two glasses of wine max. if even that. will see
at the end, i put liquid chalk on my palms, attached chain and 10kg kettlebell on me and stretched on pullups bar. very very nice, i would bet i was taller after that
anyway, tomorrow i need to change oil, filters and brake pads on 2 trucks so some physical work, im pretty happy about it.
its somewhat nice to be bit dirty, "play" with tools, pour lot of oil in and out.
after that, i expect friend to come to make raspberry muffins with few glasses of wine.
doubled the dose of cialis to 20mg, added 50mg of proviron cause why not, will be fun hopefully.... i havent had sip of any alcohol
since 28.2.2021, i think i will have maybe one or two glasses of wine max. if even that. will see
BabaJagga
Member
if someone wonderd, why humira, its cause of psoriasis.
started when i was sick, 40-41C fever, purulent angina, then crazy stressfull breakup with ex (never stick dick into police chicks).
this is from the worst state i think. my nails were fcked up, basicly non existent, most parts of my body fcked up, joints in pain etc...
not very pleasent experience, i dont wish it to anybody. it fcked up my head the most i think, its very unpleasent to look like rotting corpse as young guy. i was basicly in isolation for years.
anyway, years of corticosteroids, it was only temporary fix. skin flakes everywhere, all the time, it looked like its snowing from my head and skin. felt terrible physically and mentally.
after 3-4 weeks on humira, everything went away. nails started to grow back, skin healed (still have discolored spots on my body), joints felt much much better but fcked up head stayed. its as much physicall as mental illness.
started when i was sick, 40-41C fever, purulent angina, then crazy stressfull breakup with ex (never stick dick into police chicks).
this is from the worst state i think. my nails were fcked up, basicly non existent, most parts of my body fcked up, joints in pain etc...
not very pleasent experience, i dont wish it to anybody. it fcked up my head the most i think, its very unpleasent to look like rotting corpse as young guy. i was basicly in isolation for years.
anyway, years of corticosteroids, it was only temporary fix. skin flakes everywhere, all the time, it looked like its snowing from my head and skin. felt terrible physically and mentally.
after 3-4 weeks on humira, everything went away. nails started to grow back, skin healed (still have discolored spots on my body), joints felt much much better but fcked up head stayed. its as much physicall as mental illness.
