Sharing this on behalf of a friend - figured it might be a cautionary tale, or at least spark a useful discussion. Maybe some of you have dealt with something similar.
So, my buddy is just a regular guy - works hard, stays out of trouble. A while back, a woman he knew from years ago reached out asking for help. She was going through a rough patch and needed financial support. In return, she offered affection, attention, companionship - not as some formal deal, but more like, “You help me, I’ll be there for you.”
They hooked up a few times, but he quickly realized the dynamic felt off. He told her she didn’t owe him anything and could keep what he had already given. No pressure, no expectations.
While he was away on a work trip, he asked her to feed his dog. She had a key. He comes back… and she had moved in, saying she had nowhere else to go. He didn’t throw her out - figured it was temporary and let her stay in the spare room.
They ended up living together for five months. No more sex, no relationship - he just helped with rent and groceries here and there. He’d make the occasional dumb joke (like “come sit on my face” - yeah, not the smoothest line), but there was no touching, no pressure, no crossing the line.
Eventually, she started getting hostile, insulting him, acting bitter. He politely asked her via text to move out - and she did, no drama.
A few months later? Boom - a long emotional email out of nowhere. Full of classic scorched-earth energy: he’s manipulative, emotionally abusive, used her, ruined her life, etc. Typical switch-up - she goes from “thanks for everything” to “you’re the devil” in one paragraph. She even says she’s speaking to a lawyer and wants to go after him for sexual assault and sex trafficking. Meanwhile, in the same email, she admits she came to him for help and comfort.
He hasn’t responded. Called a buddy in law enforcement who told him not to panic unless something official shows up - a police report, subpoena, or restraining order.
Now he’s just rattled. He deleted most recent messages (new girlfriend, didn’t want drama), but here’s the kicker - she used a different phone number for years, and he still has their full message history from 2020 to 2023: flirtatious convos, unsolicited nudes from her, zero pressure or abuse.
Also important: both are immigrants. She’s undocumented. He now realizes how naïve he was - didn’t expect things to turn on him this way.
So here are the big questions:
1. Anyone been through something similar?
2. Should he lawyer up now or wait until (or if) something real comes through?
3. Any advice on how to avoid this kind of trap in the future?
And yes, he knows he messed up. Lesson learned. Let this be your friendly reminder: don’t let someone “feed your dog” if there’s any chance they’ll turn it into a co-tenant situation.
Appreciate any input - legal, personal, or roast-level.
So, my buddy is just a regular guy - works hard, stays out of trouble. A while back, a woman he knew from years ago reached out asking for help. She was going through a rough patch and needed financial support. In return, she offered affection, attention, companionship - not as some formal deal, but more like, “You help me, I’ll be there for you.”
They hooked up a few times, but he quickly realized the dynamic felt off. He told her she didn’t owe him anything and could keep what he had already given. No pressure, no expectations.
While he was away on a work trip, he asked her to feed his dog. She had a key. He comes back… and she had moved in, saying she had nowhere else to go. He didn’t throw her out - figured it was temporary and let her stay in the spare room.
They ended up living together for five months. No more sex, no relationship - he just helped with rent and groceries here and there. He’d make the occasional dumb joke (like “come sit on my face” - yeah, not the smoothest line), but there was no touching, no pressure, no crossing the line.
Eventually, she started getting hostile, insulting him, acting bitter. He politely asked her via text to move out - and she did, no drama.
A few months later? Boom - a long emotional email out of nowhere. Full of classic scorched-earth energy: he’s manipulative, emotionally abusive, used her, ruined her life, etc. Typical switch-up - she goes from “thanks for everything” to “you’re the devil” in one paragraph. She even says she’s speaking to a lawyer and wants to go after him for sexual assault and sex trafficking. Meanwhile, in the same email, she admits she came to him for help and comfort.
He hasn’t responded. Called a buddy in law enforcement who told him not to panic unless something official shows up - a police report, subpoena, or restraining order.
Now he’s just rattled. He deleted most recent messages (new girlfriend, didn’t want drama), but here’s the kicker - she used a different phone number for years, and he still has their full message history from 2020 to 2023: flirtatious convos, unsolicited nudes from her, zero pressure or abuse.
Also important: both are immigrants. She’s undocumented. He now realizes how naïve he was - didn’t expect things to turn on him this way.
So here are the big questions:
1. Anyone been through something similar?
2. Should he lawyer up now or wait until (or if) something real comes through?
3. Any advice on how to avoid this kind of trap in the future?
And yes, he knows he messed up. Lesson learned. Let this be your friendly reminder: don’t let someone “feed your dog” if there’s any chance they’ll turn it into a co-tenant situation.
Appreciate any input - legal, personal, or roast-level.
