i hear ya…
still paying 4k a month on my first marriage and that was with no kids.
Insanity! Originally, laws and obligations were created to protect children. Back then (1960's) the typical case was where a deadbeat dad abandoned his wife and children. The economic market was much tougher for women back then especially since 99% were homemakers w/ no tangible job skills.
Thus these men had to pay....perfectly fair. Unfortunately, the laws morphed, and women could get child support and, unless she is a crack whore, the wife would automatically get the kids and house and alimony. No fault divorce, or not getting married in the fist place, contributed to this development. As Charles Murray documents in his important book "Losing Ground," that women are better off financially (in the short, not long run, see below) from the explosion of the Welfare state.
Deadsbeat dads, abandoners', and abusive men make up only a tiny fraction of our 50% divorce rate. 66% of divorces are filed by women under no fault laws. The father could be an excellent husband and father, but it matters not: One fight, the woman can become angry and knowing that she will get government help, the house and 60% of a mans future salaries seals the deal.
Back to Murray, he laid out clearly how a woman could do better financially via not marrying the father of her child in the first place. Say Sue gets pregnant from Steve. Steve is a great guy, loving father and husband, and treats Sue like a queen. However, Steve will never be Donald Trump. He works down at the Piggly Wiggley for $9 an hour.
Sue does the math, and realizes she well be better of financially if she does not marry good old Steve, or Jeff (father of her 2nd child) or Chuck (3rd child). Welfare will give her more money than if she split these ^ paychecks.
It should therefore be no surprise that there are so many single parents. Unfortunately, children from these types of families (me included) have much higher rates or criminal behavior, drug addiction/ alcoholism, incarceration, and less earning power and happy future relationships than those that come from intact families.
Clinton signed into law the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act of 1996 (PRWORA). It is a United States federal law limiting the max time (2 years per child, 5 years total) a woman can collect Welfare.
However, it did nothing in regards to making divorce/child support/alimony a financial move for woman. With no fundamental change in these laws, we will continue to see more families torn in two. Couple have a fight (verbal....hitting a woman is ABSOLUTELY unacceptable) and she knows she can ruin his life by using the extant laws to take him to the proverbial cleaner..
Furthermore, a couple of Profs over at Princeton did a study of couples. Some stayed married through tough times, others did not. They found that women who stayed married (to non abusive men) were much happier 20 years down the road.
