A funny one for chip

[Meathead74]

How do you tell the difference between Liberals, Conservatives and
Southerners?
Pose the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around
the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and
charges.

You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere
seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the
kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have
an appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this
send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just
killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have a paint and
weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage
such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few
days and try to come to a consensus.




Conservative Answer:

BANG!





Southerner's Answer :

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

click...
(sounds of reloading).

Wife: "Hun, he looks like he's still moving, whadda y'all kids think?"

Son: "Mama's right Daddy, I saw it, too."

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?"


BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Bow down to the white trash!!!!

Meathead

 

[kemo]

Yep

Long live the Southerner's

 

[joe shmoe]

as a conservative, my response would be BANG, BANG, BANG(the mozambique drill sp?) 2 shots to center of mass...if he's still up and standing, 1 shot to the cranium.

ofcourse i would use a Kimber 1911 .45 ACP loaded with 230grain hydra-shocks . but i digress.

i like that one meathead. going to forward it now.

have a nice day

 

[Bob Smith]

LOL, so true, so true. Im with Joe (conservative) and would unload at least 3 shots into the guy. But I have now freakin idea what a 911 .45 something or other is. But Im guessing its pretty cool.

 

[ThePatriot]

At first I thought I would shoot him in the shoulder and stop him but now a days I imagine that he can sue the shit out of me and then when Im broke as shit Ill have to find him and kill him. To much trouble. 1 shot to the head.

 

[Chip Bronson]

lmfao. good one meat! joe, you're sick man.

dudes, not only would i unload without hesitation on his sorry ass, but after i was out of bullets, i would bludgeon him with the piece. if i was carrying a blowtorch, i'd blowtorch his ass. then i'd go home, have a nice meal, find his wife and kill her too... (paraphrasing jimmy serano in 'midnight run'). oh, btw, i'm a conservative too. did ya pick up on it?...

 

[oldtimer]

Dudes you're all spoiled, why waste so many bullets if you're an expert?, a bullet in my part of the world would cost an average of 1.5 US$.

-OT