Anabolics, Life and the Transition Between

[gr8whitetrukker]

As many athletes, bodybuilders, powerlifters and strongmen know training and all aspects related to it are an extremely time consuming task. One many would call a second job added to their primary role of making a living and supporting their family. The training is only one aspect. The diet is another animal completely. So when one decides to put it on the back burner they have all this time that was easily consumed by training/eating/sleeping to divert to family or financial endeavors. Which i would easily argue are far more important.

Last quarter of 2018 i saw the writing on the wall and my steady, comfortable job was on the last months of its contract and would soon end. Nothing great. An average yearly earnings of 60-70k which is OK in this day and age. I saved hard and got completely out of debt and was able to make a huge leap in my professional life. I landed a big job doubling my salary and now i have made the full transition toward my goals for life. Money has never been better. We lack for nothing. I can afford anything we want or need. Moved in to my first TX home in northern Texas country where its quiet. Peace at last, right?

The conflict is i had to trade my muscles for a 6 figure income. This i would call it is a normal and healthy progression of life. Bodybuilding/strength training is great but mostly for someone who has a surplus of free time on their hands. Even in my 5 yr long prime i guess you could call it where i considered it open season to really gallop down that open anabolic road paved with bodybuilding drugs of all varieties. It was my time if there ever was one. It was less than ideal. Was working way too many hours a family and alot of other interests. I never was a career AAS user. Never started young. I was naturally trained in a variety of athletic pursuits with strength training being the back bone since the early 80s reading my dads Weider books and growing up watching Arnold, Ferrigno and Stallone strut their stuff. Always wondered about AAS or StErOiDs as most the general public refers to them as. Needed trt at 28 and thats when i put two and two together and figured since im prescribed them now might as well give er a real go. Came to MESO and made a profile and entered down that road. Some 6 yr later i still post daily.

The void training left has been picked up by an equal level of work, coffee and cigarettes and yes ALOT more money. Always had a taste for shit that isnt good for you like whiskeys and smoke. And without that regimented lifestyle its easy to become "normal". Which leads to feelings of guilt or thoughts of laziness. I always fit it in whether it meant 0300 self made appointments in the gym to the solitary sounds of 45s clanging together. Now thats all but impossible. Which i find hard to accept. I never was a somebody. Never graced no stage. No national recognition. But everything that went in to that 5 yr period was undeniable. Dedication that feared nothing. Hunger and desire that was fueled by rage and true passion. Food portions and frequency that would make any sane man tap. At my biggest and leanest i was 6'1 292. Took many phases and many mistakes to get there. Success is only a mountain of failures. Remember that.

I grew up idolizing Arnold, Ferrigno and Stallone and the first two and many others have all but given up on the lifestyle. Many professional athletes give up on it after retirement. Thats because they have a keen understanding of what it took to build it. Much like i now know and fully understand what it took to build that side walk cracker of a human being. And like i said i was a nobody. When thats gone how does one transition to being normal again? My meticulous nature has trouble dealing with it. I now prefer to tinker on my show worthy mustang and go riding atvs with my two boys over the selfish lifestyle bodybuilding/powerlifting has to offer. Turns out i actually hate bodybuilding. The look is great! But by in large completely useless. The narcissistic mentality in bodybuilding isnt a natural fit for me. I dont enjoy the "show" aspect of it. Infact many of the habits bodybuilding cultivates are feminine by design. I never really fully understood it till i was involved so heavily in it. Now i cant stand it. I do enjoy the training aspect though which is its only saving grace. Strength training is closely associated but differs in a few key ways. And i have found many of the adaptations my body has made are permanent in relation to strength. The bodybuilding related training adaptations disappear relatively quickly once food, drugs and stimulus cease. I still get compliments which are unexpected but it makes me feel good. Even tho i havent trained in over a year. It IS hard to let go of that person you once were.

So would you trade your muscles for a shot at doubling your income? How much is it worth to you?

 

[gr8whitetrukker]

This is the same idea. Makes alot of sense to me. Really hit home watching Mike be so damn honest

 

[Logan44551]

As many athletes, bodybuilders, powerlifters and strongmen know training and all aspects related to it are an extremely time consuming task. One many would call a second job added to their primary role of making a living and supporting their family. The training is only one aspect. The diet is another animal completely. So when one decides to put it on the back burner they have all this time that was easily consumed by training/eating/sleeping to divert to family or financial endeavors. Which i would easily argue are far more important.

Last quarter of 2018 i saw the writing on the wall and my steady, comfortable job was on the last months of its contract and would soon end. Nothing great. An average yearly earnings of 60-70k which is OK in this day and age. I saved hard and got completely out of debt and was able to make a huge leap in my professional life. I landed a big job doubling my salary and now i have made the full transition toward my goals for life. Money has never been better. We lack for nothing. I can afford anything we want or need. Moved in to my first TX home in northern Texas country where its quiet. Peace at last, right?

The conflict is i had to trade my muscles for a 6 figure income. This i would call it is a normal and healthy progression of life. Bodybuilding/strength training is great but mostly for someone who has a surplus of free time on their hands. Even in my 5 yr long prime i guess you could call it where i considered it open season to really gallop down that open anabolic road paved with bodybuilding drugs of all varieties. It was my time if there ever was one. It was less than ideal. Was working way too many hours a family and alot of other interests. I never was a career AAS user. Never started young. I was naturally trained in a variety of athletic pursuits with strength training being the back bone since the early 80s reading my dads Weider books and growing up watching Arnold, Ferrigno and Stallone strut their stuff. Always wondered about AAS or StErOiDs as most the general public refers to them as. Needed trt at 28 and thats when i put two and two together and figured since im prescribed them now might as well give er a real go. Came to MESO and made a profile and entered down that road. Some 6 yr later i still post daily.

The void training left has been picked up by an equal level of work, coffee and cigarettes and yes ALOT more money. Always had a taste for shit that isnt good for you like whiskeys and smoke. And without that regimented lifestyle its easy to become "normal". Which leads to feelings of guilt or thoughts of laziness. I always fit it in whether it meant 0300 self made appointments in the gym to the solitary sounds of 45s clanging together. Now thats all but impossible. Which i find hard to accept. I never was a somebody. Never graced no stage. No national recognition. But everything that went in to that 5 yr period was undeniable. Dedication that feared nothing. Hunger and desire that was fueled by rage and true passion. Food portions and frequency that would make any sane man tap. At my biggest and leanest i was 6'1 292. Took many phases and many mistakes to get there. Success is only a mountain of failures. Remember that.

I grew up idolizing Arnold, Ferrigno and Stallone and the first two and many others have all but given up on the lifestyle. Many professional athletes give up on it after retirement. Thats because they have a keen understanding of what it took to build it. Much like i now know and fully understand what it took to build that side walk cracker of a human being. And like i said i was a nobody. When thats gone how does one transition to being normal again? My meticulous nature has trouble dealing with it. I now prefer to tinker on my show worthy mustang and go riding atvs with my two boys over the selfish lifestyle bodybuilding/powerlifting has to offer. Turns out i actually hate bodybuilding. The look is great! But by in large completely useless. The narcissistic mentality in bodybuilding isnt a natural fit for me. I dont enjoy the "show" aspect of it. Infact many of the habits bodybuilding cultivates are feminine by design. I never really fully understood it till i was involved so heavily in it. Now i cant stand it. I do enjoy the training aspect though which is its only saving grace. Strength training is closely associated but differs in a few key ways. And i have found many of the adaptations my body has made are permanent in relation to strength. The bodybuilding related training adaptations disappear relatively quickly once food, drugs and stimulus cease. I still get compliments which are unexpected but it makes me feel good. Even tho i havent trained in over a year. It IS hard to let go of that person you once were.

So would you trade your muscles for a shot at doubling your income? How much is it worth to you?

I love the success it built on a mountain of failures quote. Good for you on in income trukk. As for me I've been in a somewhat similar situation. Took a job further from home, that pays better. As a result there is less time to train. I still try and make it whenever possible, which is still a fair amount prior to this whole domestic lockdown that is now out reality. I never got anywhere near your size and am still pretty new to all this. That being said, just the last few weeks of not being able to train much at all, I really do miss it.

 

[TANGO.ECHO.KILO]

As many athletes, bodybuilders, powerlifters and strongmen know training and all aspects related to it are an extremely time consuming task. One many would call a second job added to their primary role of making a living and supporting their family. The training is only one aspect. The diet is another animal completely. So when one decides to put it on the back burner they have all this time that was easily consumed by training/eating/sleeping to divert to family or financial endeavors. Which i would easily argue are far more important.

Last quarter of 2018 i saw the writing on the wall and my steady, comfortable job was on the last months of its contract and would soon end. Nothing great. An average yearly earnings of 60-70k which is OK in this day and age. I saved hard and got completely out of debt and was able to make a huge leap in my professional life. I landed a big job doubling my salary and now i have made the full transition toward my goals for life. Money has never been better. We lack for nothing. I can afford anything we want or need. Moved in to my first TX home in northern Texas country where its quiet. Peace at last, right?

The conflict is i had to trade my muscles for a 6 figure income. This i would call it is a normal and healthy progression of life. Bodybuilding/strength training is great but mostly for someone who has a surplus of free time on their hands. Even in my 5 yr long prime i guess you could call it where i considered it open season to really gallop down that open anabolic road paved with bodybuilding drugs of all varieties. It was my time if there ever was one. It was less than ideal. Was working way too many hours a family and alot of other interests. I never was a career AAS user. Never started young. I was naturally trained in a variety of athletic pursuits with strength training being the back bone since the early 80s reading my dads Weider books and growing up watching Arnold, Ferrigno and Stallone strut their stuff. Always wondered about AAS or StErOiDs as most the general public refers to them as. Needed trt at 28 and thats when i put two and two together and figured since im prescribed them now might as well give er a real go. Came to MESO and made a profile and entered down that road. Some 6 yr later i still post daily.

The void training left has been picked up by an equal level of work, coffee and cigarettes and yes ALOT more money. Always had a taste for shit that isnt good for you like whiskeys and smoke. And without that regimented lifestyle its easy to become "normal". Which leads to feelings of guilt or thoughts of laziness. I always fit it in whether it meant 0300 self made appointments in the gym to the solitary sounds of 45s clanging together. Now thats all but impossible. Which i find hard to accept. I never was a somebody. Never graced no stage. No national recognition. But everything that went in to that 5 yr period was undeniable. Dedication that feared nothing. Hunger and desire that was fueled by rage and true passion. Food portions and frequency that would make any sane man tap. At my biggest and leanest i was 6'1 292. Took many phases and many mistakes to get there. Success is only a mountain of failures. Remember that.

I grew up idolizing Arnold, Ferrigno and Stallone and the first two and many others have all but given up on the lifestyle. Many professional athletes give up on it after retirement. Thats because they have a keen understanding of what it took to build it. Much like i now know and fully understand what it took to build that side walk cracker of a human being. And like i said i was a nobody. When thats gone how does one transition to being normal again? My meticulous nature has trouble dealing with it. I now prefer to tinker on my show worthy mustang and go riding atvs with my two boys over the selfish lifestyle bodybuilding/powerlifting has to offer. Turns out i actually hate bodybuilding. The look is great! But by in large completely useless. The narcissistic mentality in bodybuilding isnt a natural fit for me. I dont enjoy the "show" aspect of it. Infact many of the habits bodybuilding cultivates are feminine by design. I never really fully understood it till i was involved so heavily in it. Now i cant stand it. I do enjoy the training aspect though which is its only saving grace. Strength training is closely associated but differs in a few key ways. And i have found many of the adaptations my body has made are permanent in relation to strength. The bodybuilding related training adaptations disappear relatively quickly once food, drugs and stimulus cease. I still get compliments which are unexpected but it makes me feel good. Even tho i havent trained in over a year. It IS hard to let go of that person you once were.

So would you trade your muscles for a shot at doubling your income? How much is it worth to you?

Trade it in a minute. You have a family as many of us do and you put their quality life above all else. Sounds like you are going through very similar circumstances as to when I made my hiatus from Meso. Worked like a slave but built a business, changed my life and the life for my family and now my first son. At some point I realized like everything else, there was a point of diminishing returns for me. All the money in the world isnt worth 100hr work weeks my girl eating dinner alone crying and missing my kid grow up. Went cold turkey off gear trying to conceive and blew up to a morbidly obese 285lbs not lifting and was eating krystal burgers throwing the wrappers in the floorboard of the truck headed back to the farm. Finally found the balance, started taking care of myself and those around me better. What I was doin wasnt sustainable and I was miserable. Now I train and feel great, less than my younger days but enough for health and to have the sense of accomplishment and drive I thrive on. Sacrificed a little income for the quality of life but am still blessed to have far more than we need and am able to help family and friends especially in times like these. You're doin the right thing Squatch...you're a hell of a man and a great father and husband I know first hand. Life is crazy, and it's been a pleasure to know you and watch you grow and develop over the years, can't wait to see where we go next.

Sounds to me like ol' trukk may come out on the other side a power lifter. There is something very rewarding about pushing weight, and a little looser dietary restrictions. Push/pull split 3 days a week maybe a cardio or stretching day in there which is also a way to get out and do something physical outdoors with the boys. I'll never compete bc I cant take the injuries at this point in my life but less gear, more cardio, and more full compound lifts is the way of longevity and quality of life for me moving forward. Who fuckin cares if I'm 8% at 275 if I cant walk up stairs or play with my kid, or if the tren builds so much plaque in my heart Im dead at 40.

easy trade for me

 

[gr8whitetrukker]

Trade it in a minute. You have a family as many of us do and you put their quality life above all else. Sounds like you are going through very similar circumstances as to when I made my hiatus from Meso. Worked like a slave but built a business, changed my life and the life for my family and now my first son. At some point I realized like everything else, there was a point of diminishing returns for me. All the money in the world isnt worth 100hr work weeks my girl eating dinner alone crying and missing my kid grow up. Went cold turkey off gear trying to conceive and blew up to a morbidly obese 285lbs not lifting and was eating krystal burgers throwing the wrappers in the floorboard of the truck headed back to the farm. Finally found the balance, started taking care of myself and those around me better. What I was doin wasnt sustainable and I was miserable. Now I train and feel great, less than my younger days but enough for health and to have the sense of accomplishment and drive I thrive on. Sacrificed a little income for the quality of life but am still blessed to have far more than we need and am able to help family and friends especially in times like these. You're doin the right thing Squatch...you're a hell of a man and a great father and husband I know first hand. Life is crazy, and it's been a pleasure to know you and watch you grow and develop over the years, can't wait to see where we go next.

Sounds to me like ol' trukk may come out on the other side a power lifter. There is something very rewarding about pushing weight, and a little looser dietary restrictions. Push/pull split 3 days a week maybe a cardio or stretching day in there which is also a way to get out and do something physical outdoors with the boys. I'll never compete bc I cant take the injuries at this point in my life but less gear, more cardio, and more full compound lifts is the way of longevity and quality of life for me moving forward. Who fuckin cares if I'm 8% at 275 if I cant walk up stairs or play with my kid, or if the tren builds so much plaque in my heart Im dead at 40.

easy trade for me

Many wouldnt make the sacrifice. Far too comfortable in their day to day grind. No matter how bad. Got lots of friends and family like that. Still fuckin around in a dead end situation. Afraid as all hell to take a risk

 

[TANGO.ECHO.KILO]

Many wouldnt make the sacrifice. Far too comfortable in their day to day grind. No matter how bad. Got lots of friends and family like that. Still fuckin around in a dead end situation. Afraid as all hell to take a risk

Cant win if you never roll the dice...bigger the risk bigger the reward. And if you fall down that's just part of the process, just make sure you fail forward, dont make the same damn mistake again. That's a true opportunity for growth, men like us don't stay down long. Once you start really chasing your dreams...fucking running towards your dreams...you will start to differentiate yourself from the others around you. Get used to spending a lot of time alone. The man you are becoming will cost you friends and relationships, may cost you your mind at times, thats okay...chose your dreams every time.

Hammer down brother and stay strong in your faith in yourself and convictions. I always bet on myself, fuckin double down, this world is all made up of people no smarter than you and I. Who cares where we came from, it's where we're headed...and I have the will and resolve to outlast all those around me. Embrace the suck, don't just live in it, fucking thrive in it. Only thing I fear is not pushing the chains, 2 steps forward 1 step back...thats the recipe. No secret to success, no get rich quick scheme, just be the hardest working mf'er in the room.

 

[gr8whitetrukker]

Cant win if you never roll the dice...bigger the risk bigger the reward. And if you fall down that's just part of the process, just make sure you fail forward, dont make the same damn mistake again. That's a true opportunity for growth, men like us don't stay down long. Once you start really chasing your dreams...fucking running towards your dreams...you will start to differentiate yourself from the others around you. Get used to spending a lot of time alone. The man you are becoming will cost you friends and relationships, may cost you your mind at times, thats okay...chose your dreams every time.

Hammer down brother and stay strong in your faith in yourself and convictions. I always bet on myself, fuckin double down, this world is all made up of people no smarter than you and I. Who cares where we came from, it's where we're headed...and I have the will and resolve to outlast all those around me. Embrace the suck, don't just live in it, fucking thrive in it. Only thing I fear is not pushing the chains, 2 steps forward 1 step back...thats the recipe. No secret to success, no get rich quick scheme, just be the hardest working mf'er in the room.

Lol, that happened along time ago when i moved 1600 miles away on a calculated whim where i knew nobody in a town completely foreign to me. No hand outs, no offers and no assurances i had anything waiting on me. Just knew i wasnt gonna fail. Had a tent and a reliable truck and a young family counting on me to win. Figured the rest out as i went

 

[strongsafety41]

Congrats @gr8whitetrukker! You saw an opportunity and went for it, and guess what you succeeded! That in itself speaks volumes. Stay hungry and stay humble, nothing is free. You gave up the muscles for financial freedom and growth, to which you and yours are benefiting. I’d had similar success and understand the dedication and sacrifice it takes to succeed in athletics and/or business.

If athletics isn’t your business then at some point something has to give, simply not enough hours in the day. But fear not my dude, the iron will be there when you find that work and life balance. Maybe not in the form of your Ultimate Obsession (in my CT Fletcher voice), but a decent balance to where you can keep family first, continual success in business, remain strong as fuck, be healthy, and look good naked! Just have to find your way, for me I got time back by having a home gym. I’m talking squat rack, bench press, dumbbells to 100lbs, leg press, bikes, tread climber, treadmill cables etc... I’ve been buying equipment since 1998. Honestly, we chose this house based on the plan/space for a full out gym/entertainment area for the kids. Got a lot time back this way... That’s been my experience anyway.

Also, Tyson was the fucking beast! Watching that video only makes me respect that guy even more.

 

[gr8whitetrukker]

Congrats @gr8whitetrukker! You saw an opportunity and went for it, and guess what you succeeded! That in itself speaks volumes. Stay hungry and stay humble, nothing is free. You gave up the muscles for financial freedom and growth, to which you and yours are benefiting. I’d had similar success and understand the dedication and sacrifice it takes to succeed in athletics and/or business.

If athletics isn’t your business then at some point something has to give, simply not enough hours in the day. But fear not my dude, the iron will be there when you find that work and life balance. Maybe not in the form of your Ultimate Obsession (in my CT Fletcher voice), but a decent balance to where you can keep family first, continual success in business, remain strong as fuck, be healthy, and look good naked! Just have to find your way, for me I got time back by having a home gym. I’m talking squat rack, bench press, dumbbells to 100lbs, leg press, bikes, tread climber, treadmill cables etc... I’ve been buying equipment since 1998. Honestly, we chose this house based on the plan/space for a full out gym/entertainment area for the kids. Got a lot time back this way... That’s been my experience anyway.

Also, Tyson was the fucking beast! Watching that video only makes me respect that guy even more.

One of the most feared men to ever live saying it how it is. Dealing with retirement and how he misses the warrior old age left behind. "Some times i feel like a bitch and im crying cuz i miss him. Im terrified of him cuz i know if i let him out all hell is comin with him"
I really like the person Tyson has become in old age. So goddam humble and brutally honest. Its beautiful. I can relate and i think its easy to feel that warrior ethos just seething beneath the surface like a demon clawing out of the abyss. Hungry as hell and ready to scrap. I get it. Down to the core. Its the same thing that drives me daily. Like im fuckin starving and just wanna eat. Except the food is more success and the battlefield changes from each phase of life. Really dig tysons message

 

[Gbro]

I would give up all of it for a loving family.

 

[ickyrica]

Quality posts.

 

[puckhog]

Good
Fucking
Post

@gr8whitetrukker you touched on a lot of different topics that could each have a thread of their own. Vanity, goals, commitment, sacrifice, responsibility, failure, growth, tragedy, and the list goes on.

First off, congratulations on your new career path. It sounds like you are very happy and it appears to be incredibly lucrative.

I have learned that sometimes we stick with something because it’s all we know. It becomes our comfort, our identity, our lifestyle, even though deep inside we may not like what “it” is. It’s not until we step outside of that environment that we realize how much we don’t like it and how we let “it” create what people perceive us to be.

Most of us in BB are hyper self critical. We panic when we see our abs start to disappear. We beat ourselves up when the scale doesn’t move. We feel guilty for not being in the gym. We try to justify to our audience as to why we stopped participating in what seemed to be our passion. The list goes on and on.

Your post really causes me to evaluate my goals, motives, and commitment. My family won’t be around forever. I am not saying I am quitting, rather it is good to think about the bigger picture such as life, family, friends, career, retirement and what each of us wants that to look like.

Anyways, I am happy for you man. Hearing about other peoples victories never gets old.

 

[puckhog]

@Gbro
hang in there man. Your story isn’t over yet.

 

[gr8whitetrukker]

Good
Fucking
Post

@gr8whitetrukker you touched on a lot of different topics that could each have a thread of their own. Vanity, goals, commitment, sacrifice, responsibility, failure, growth, tragedy, and the list goes on.

First off, congratulations on your new career path. It sounds like you are very happy and it appears to be incredibly lucrative.

I have learned that sometimes we stick with something because it’s all we know. It becomes our comfort, our identity, our lifestyle, even though deep inside we may not like what “it” is. It’s not until we step outside of that environment that we realize how much we don’t like it and how we let “it” create what people perceive us to be.

Most of us in BB are hyper self critical. We panic when we see our abs start to disappear. We beat ourselves up when the scale doesn’t move. We feel guilty for not being in the gym. We try to justify to our audience as to why we stopped participating in what seemed to be our passion. The list goes on and on.

Your post really causes me to evaluate my goals, motives, and commitment. My family won’t be around forever. I am not saying I am quitting, rather it is good to think about the bigger picture such as life, family, friends, career, retirement and what each of us wants that to look like.

Anyways, I am happy for you man. Hearing about other peoples victories never gets old.

Bodybuilding has unfortunately taken on a completely different meaning to me over the past 5 yrs than it did for the majority of my 35 yrs as a human being. Outside looking in its great. They ressembled my comic book heroes i grew up forking over my 75cents for at the BigM for the newest release. They ressembled my favorite wrestlers. The big ultra masculine freaks i always looked up to. But up close, involved and personal its just fucking ghey. Male beauty pageant. Makeup and spray tan. Artificial down to its core. Narcissism and femininity. I cant even stand being around em. Its fake all of it. The tough guy act is as shallow of a threat as it gets. And their all tough guys with their shaved legs and posing lol. You cant even get one to act real in person. Its all posturing and chest puffing in shit that was intentionally bought far too small. Mental basket cases. Completely afraid of reality and the outside world. Its just a gigantic crutch for alot of them to feel manly or accepted or in charge of some thing. I fucking hate it

 

[Demondosage]

As many athletes, bodybuilders, powerlifters and strongmen know training and all aspects related to it are an extremely time consuming task. One many would call a second job added to their primary role of making a living and supporting their family. The training is only one aspect. The diet is another animal completely. So when one decides to put it on the back burner they have all this time that was easily consumed by training/eating/sleeping to divert to family or financial endeavors. Which i would easily argue are far more important.

Last quarter of 2018 i saw the writing on the wall and my steady, comfortable job was on the last months of its contract and would soon end. Nothing great. An average yearly earnings of 60-70k which is OK in this day and age. I saved hard and got completely out of debt and was able to make a huge leap in my professional life. I landed a big job doubling my salary and now i have made the full transition toward my goals for life. Money has never been better. We lack for nothing. I can afford anything we want or need. Moved in to my first TX home in northern Texas country where its quiet. Peace at last, right?

The conflict is i had to trade my muscles for a 6 figure income. This i would call it is a normal and healthy progression of life. Bodybuilding/strength training is great but mostly for someone who has a surplus of free time on their hands. Even in my 5 yr long prime i guess you could call it where i considered it open season to really gallop down that open anabolic road paved with bodybuilding drugs of all varieties. It was my time if there ever was one. It was less than ideal. Was working way too many hours a family and alot of other interests. I never was a career AAS user. Never started young. I was naturally trained in a variety of athletic pursuits with strength training being the back bone since the early 80s reading my dads Weider books and growing up watching Arnold, Ferrigno and Stallone strut their stuff. Always wondered about AAS or StErOiDs as most the general public refers to them as. Needed trt at 28 and thats when i put two and two together and figured since im prescribed them now might as well give er a real go. Came to MESO and made a profile and entered down that road. Some 6 yr later i still post daily.

The void training left has been picked up by an equal level of work, coffee and cigarettes and yes ALOT more money. Always had a taste for shit that isnt good for you like whiskeys and smoke. And without that regimented lifestyle its easy to become "normal". Which leads to feelings of guilt or thoughts of laziness. I always fit it in whether it meant 0300 self made appointments in the gym to the solitary sounds of 45s clanging together. Now thats all but impossible. Which i find hard to accept. I never was a somebody. Never graced no stage. No national recognition. But everything that went in to that 5 yr period was undeniable. Dedication that feared nothing. Hunger and desire that was fueled by rage and true passion. Food portions and frequency that would make any sane man tap. At my biggest and leanest i was 6'1 292. Took many phases and many mistakes to get there. Success is only a mountain of failures. Remember that.

I grew up idolizing Arnold, Ferrigno and Stallone and the first two and many others have all but given up on the lifestyle. Many professional athletes give up on it after retirement. Thats because they have a keen understanding of what it took to build it. Much like i now know and fully understand what it took to build that side walk cracker of a human being. And like i said i was a nobody. When thats gone how does one transition to being normal again? My meticulous nature has trouble dealing with it. I now prefer to tinker on my show worthy mustang and go riding atvs with my two boys over the selfish lifestyle bodybuilding/powerlifting has to offer. Turns out i actually hate bodybuilding. The look is great! But by in large completely useless. The narcissistic mentality in bodybuilding isnt a natural fit for me. I dont enjoy the "show" aspect of it. Infact many of the habits bodybuilding cultivates are feminine by design. I never really fully understood it till i was involved so heavily in it. Now i cant stand it. I do enjoy the training aspect though which is its only saving grace. Strength training is closely associated but differs in a few key ways. And i have found many of the adaptations my body has made are permanent in relation to strength. The bodybuilding related training adaptations disappear relatively quickly once food, drugs and stimulus cease. I still get compliments which are unexpected but it makes me feel good. Even tho i havent trained in over a year. It IS hard to let go of that person you once were.

So would you trade your muscles for a shot at doubling your income? How much is it worth to you?

Fuck no, I wouldn't trade shit! The reason I'm saying that is because it's the one thing that keeps me going and it's a piece of myself from childhood that I have refused to let go. But mainly I train for my sanity now more than anything else.

Nobody wants to look at a fat guy in a suit stand up and talk, rich or not.

But your situation is a bit different because it sounds like you are still into things you enjoy, like the mustang and whatnot. And as much as I would have not seen your point on narcissim years ago, looking back on it yea, it can be narcissism like a motherfucker!

I love bodybuilding, but things like expos and standing in lines to meet ppl, nah fuck all that!

Thing is, I've seen how some of the other side lives. Plenty of money, material shit they don't have the time to enjoy, or when they're on vacation with family they cannot mentally free themselves to enjoy it (same way many bodybuilders cannot enjoy things outside of OCD gym life)

I knew this dude who was a mega deca millionaire, probably won't be around much longer to do anything with the money though. Alcoholic to the core, fucking miserable, but obsessed with money in the same way some of us can be obsessed with the gym.

One point you made very clear in your thread was that your'e enjoying time with your family. It sounds like this position has helped your family as a whole. You aren't neglecting your kids by the sounds of it and you still have something for you (even if it's not the gym life it's things you enjoy)

I personally get everything you're saying here, I have asked myself that same question time and time again;

"If it took that much to walk around in that condition then what else would it take to be better?" And motivation is lost quickly with that realization.

I wouldn't analyze too much. You are doing what you feel is necessary rt?

I just refuse to let something I'm passionate abt and love die out. Who knows, maybe in the next 5 years I'll think differently. But I know one thing, nobody wants to look at a fat guy in a suit talking to them, haha.

Just my take on it, but possibly change the gym goals if you truly miss it. You are talking abt it so I'm assuming part of you misses some aspect of it. But it's for you, not the family because they accept and love you regardless. If that's enough, then fuck the gym, who cares? I've just seen how staying in the gym has helped with being active with my son, being able to physically show him things most parents couldn't do, things like that. But that doesn't take gear to do, or hours in the gym. But at least some aspect of physical condition.

Maybe try to simplify the process a little more if you're considering any type of weights again. Easier said than done, this shit is that seesaw, in either going 100% or going to shit 100%, hard to find the happy medium for sure.

Great post!

 

[gr8whitetrukker]

Fuck no, I wouldn't trade shit! The reason I'm saying that is because it's the one thing that keeps me going and it's a piece of myself from childhood that I have refused to let go. But mainly I train for my sanity now more than anything else.

Nobody wants to look at a fat guy in a suit stand up and talk, rich or not.

But your situation is a bit different because it sounds like you are still into things you enjoy, like the mustang and whatnot. And as much as I would have not seen your point on narcissim years ago, looking back on it yea, it can be narcissism like a motherfucker!

I love bodybuilding, but things like expos and standing in lines to meet ppl, nah fuck all that!

Thing is, I've seen how some of the other side lives. Plenty of money, material shit they don't have the time to enjoy, or when they're on vacation with family they cannot mentally free themselves to enjoy it (same way many bodybuilders cannot enjoy things outside of OCD gym life)

I knew this dude who was a mega deca millionaire, probably won't be around much longer to do anything with the money though. Alcoholic to the core, fucking miserable, but obsessed with money in the same way some of us can be obsessed with the gym.

One point you made very clear in your thread was that your'e enjoying time with your family. It sounds like this position has helped your family as a whole. You aren't neglecting your kids by the sounds of it and you still have something for you (even if it's not the gym life it's things you enjoy)

I personally get everything you're saying here, I have asked myself that same question time and time again;

"If it took that much to walk around in that condition then what else would it take to be better?" And motivation is lost quickly with that realization.

I wouldn't analyze too much. You are doing what you feel is necessary rt?

I just refuse to let something I'm passionate abt and love die out. Who knows, maybe in the next 5 years I'll think differently. But I know one thing, nobody wants to look at a fat guy in a suit talking to them, haha.

Just my take on it, but possibly change the gym goals if you truly miss it. You are talking abt it so I'm assuming part of you misses some aspect of it. But it's for you, not the family because they accept and love you regardless. If that's enough, then fuck the gym, who cares? I've just seen how staying in the gym has helped with being active with my son, being able to physically show him things most parents couldn't do, things like that. But that doesn't take gear to do, or hours in the gym. But at least some aspect of physical condition.

Maybe try to simplify the process a little more if you're considering any type of weights again. Easier said than done, this shit is that seesaw, in either going 100% or going to shit 100%, hard to find the happy medium for sure.

Great post!

I miss it fierce.
I took up BJJ to divert my attention to a more healthy physical obsession. Im progressing. And its a more natural empowerment of masculinity than BB could ever offer.

 

[Demondosage]

I miss it fierce.
I took up BJJ to divert my attention to a more healthy physical obsession. Im progressing. And its a more natural empowerment of masculinity than BB could ever offer.

So you're already changing the goals and still training physically, sounds to me like you're doing great then!

Think abt all the dudes that pushed ppl away in their lives from this shit. And that is with any type of gym activity or strength training to the higher levels rt? I mean fuck, you cannot blame ppl for walking away from some ppl.

 

[Demondosage]

One day I thought abt it as if the shoe were on the other foot. Let's say I married some bitch who only talked abt beauty pageants. Everything she did was focused on the beauty pageants, everything she talked abt related to the beauty pageants.

I would probably leave in a week and drop my standards from an 8-10 to fucking a 4, just to throw it on someone who could STFU abt beauty pageants and be real.

All the while some dudes girl leaves him because she realizes it's no fun anymore being around it, and this dude thinks she left cause his muscles were not big enough!

 

[Demondosage]

Also, I think as I've gotten older I've realized that there is no point in trying to impress random assholes who I don't know or aren't relative to my family or my own life.

So for me, it's now all abt my own standards. I solely train for me, not for anyone's opinion, because the ppl that matter love and accept me.

A lot of guys won't admit this, but I will. I never felt like I was a somebody until I started lifting weights. Does that mentally fuck someone up to some degree? Yea, it can, and I'm living proof. When you were constantly that square peg in a round hole, didn't take well to team sports and didn't feel as accepted in your adolescent years, the result can be this person who is now grown but still has this feeling of, "Am I good enough now?"

I'm admitting this because I'm over that bullshit now. Now I simply train because I love it. When I wanna fail and keep going it's my love for training, whatever it does for the look is sort of the biproduct. But yea man, I was a fucking headcase with it for a long time. Thank God that's over with

 

[insaiyan93]

Absolutely, if I was lucky enough to have the chance to make twice what I make I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I do understand, when I first got into training a few years back it was real easy because I had an afternoon to evening shift shitty job making no money so I could wake up at a reasonable 6-7 in the morning, catch the bus to the gym and train with no real rush and have plenty of Time to go and eat before work.

Now about 3 years later I'm making roughly 2.5- 3 times as much but I've definitely fallen out of shape from where I was, I'd say it's worth it and i think within time i will adapt and get the fire back to start lifting regular like again.