Anyone lose a close friend or family member to suicide?

[T&H]

I know this might be a sensitive subject to someone who recently experienced this, but wanted to share a little.

About 18 years ago, my dad committed suicide. It was extremely difficult, but my mom helped me through it. I never went to counseling for it, but probably should have since I did nothing but suppress memories for years. I guess so much Time passed as I now can look at pics and it not hurt like it did. I can also talk about it now but it still sucks as I was only 22 at the time.

I think this is one of those subjects with no answers as to why it happened, you know? I believe I know why my dad did though. Anyone experience this, if so how'd you make it through?

 

[4Figgy]

My brother has attempted twice. Luckily he wasn't successful, but we never know if we will get a call one day. I know the thought of it tore me up after his attempts. I can only imagine the real thing. Sorry for your loss.

 

[T&H]

My brother has attempted twice. Luckily he wasn't successful, but we never know if we will get a call one day. I know the thought of it tore me up after his attempts. I can only imagine the real thing. Sorry for your loss.

Hate to hear of that and your concern it might happen one say. I pray not brother.

Appreciate the words, and after so long I'm actually feeling a lot better. Really doesn't hurt at all, though I never talk about it (posting here is the first time in years is the exception).

 

[4Figgy]

Hate to hear of that and your concern it might happen one say. I pray not brother.

Appreciate the words, and after so long I'm actually feeling a lot better. Really doesn't hurt at all, though I never talk about it (posting here is the first time in years is the exception).

I do know that talking about tragedy is a good thing. Helps release a lot of build up. Brother-in-law died of an overdose at 25 years old 6 years ago. Hardest thing I’ve had to go through, but talking about him always feels good.

My father-in-law said it best - You never get over the loss, you just build up a scar over time that hurts just a little less each day.

 

[bob357sig]

I too lost my father to suicide. He was 49, i was 24 at the time. I know what you mean about not being able to talk about it with anybody, I struggled for years. Time does heal the wounds but it took over 20 years for me. I also can understand why he did it now, but same, took years of anger/ alcohol abuse for me to understand. What’s odd for me now is i am 49, same age as him when he died, i am turning 50 in April. I still can’t believe he lived his whole life in less then 50 years, it kind of fucks with my head sometimes. In hindsight, I wish I did get some counseling.

 

[T&H]

I too lost my father to suicide. He was 49, i was 24 at the time. I know what you mean about not being able to talk about it with anybody, I struggled for years. Time does heal the wounds but it took over 20 years for me. I also can understand why he did it now, but same, took years of anger/ alcohol abuse for me to understand. What’s odd for me now is i am 49, same age as him when he died, i am turning 50 in April. I still can’t believe he lived his whole life in less then 50 years, it kind of fucks with my head sometimes. In hindsight, I wish I did get some counseling.

Thanks for sharing, I know exactly what you mean.

 

[ickyrica]

Sorry to hear about all the stories, it's never easy. I've lost a very close friend at a young age to suicide, among other issues involving suicide as the years have ticked along.

 

[TAKESHI]

Yes I lost my sister and countless close friends. Unfortunately nothing really surprises me anymore.

 

[Seven]

Sorry to hear about your dad [emoji22] @Tiredandhot

 

[KL8209]

My condolences to everyone who'se been through this. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[Paratrooper509]

Ive lost 7 friends and a brother in law to suicide. The hardest part about my brother in law was he had a 3 year old daughter. He and my sister was separated. He was having a hard time so started taking some kind of medication that apparently gives users suicidal thoughts and he went out to a bar one night and I guess the thoughts were too much so he hung himself. I was sad and very pissed at him for leaving my sister and niece behind like that.. I had almost asked him to grab lunch just to see how he was doing but I never did and he died 2 days later. I wish I could have had that chance; maybe it would have made a difference.

My 7 friends were guys I was in the Army with and all 7 of them were in the same unit at one time. 3 of them died after getting out. Not a day goes by that I dont think of all of them. I am not sure it is something I will ever get over but I cant let their decisions affect my life so maybe in some way I compartmentalize it. Im not sure I will ever understand what drives people to that.

 

[T&H]

Ive lost 7 friends and a brother in law to suicide. The hardest part about my brother in law was he had a 3 year old daughter. He and my sister was separated. He was having a hard time so started taking some kind of medication that apparently gives users suicidal thoughts and he went out to a bar one night and I guess the thoughts were too much so he hung himself. I was sad and very pissed at him for leaving my sister and niece behind like that.. I had almost asked him to grab lunch just to see how he was doing but I never did and he died 2 days later. I wish I could have had that chance; maybe it would have made a difference.

My 7 friends were guys I was in the Army with and all 7 of them were in the same unit at one time. 3 of them died after getting out. Not a day goes by that I dont think of all of them. I am not sure it is something I will ever get over but I cant let their decisions affect my life so maybe in some way I compartmentalize it. Im not sure I will ever understand what drives people to that.

Oh wow, that's tough to hear. Hang in there.

 

[Big_paul]

I know this might be a sensitive subject to someone who recently experienced this, but wanted to share a little.

About 18 years ago, my dad committed suicide. It was extremely difficult, but my mom helped me through it. I never went to counseling for it, but probably should have since I did nothing but suppress memories for years. I guess so much Time passed as I now can look at pics and it not hurt like it did. I can also talk about it now but it still sucks as I was only 22 at the time.

I think this is one of those subjects with no answers as to why it happened, you know? I believe I know why my dad did though. Anyone experience this, if so how'd you make it through?

About 25 years ago i had an old girl friend kill herself. Time is the only thing that helped. Messed my head up for a long time.

 

[Big_paul]

My brother has attempted twice. Luckily he wasn't successful, but we never know if we will get a call one day. I know the thought of it tore me up after his attempts. I can only imagine the real thing. Sorry for your loss.

I don't think they think about what it does to the people they leave behind.

 

[T&H]

About 25 years ago i had an old girl friend kill herself. Time is the only thing that helped. Messed my head up for a long time.

That's tough. Yeah, time definitely brings some healing. Maybe not all, but some.

 

[4Figgy]

I don't think they think about what it does to the people they leave behind.

Nope. I actually brought that up to him, and he got all pissed off like I thought it was all about me. I was just trying to get him to think about it differently, but in that state I don’t think they are aware.

 

[BigBaldBeardGuy]

I don't think they think about what it does to the people they leave behind.

I have had my own struggles in the past and I can say from my perspective you are absolutely correct.

To the people that are left behind it seems like an awful and selfish thing to do. But people are battling unimaginable pain, sometimes for years. Add a bleak future outlook along with a low self-worth, and suicide becomes a very appealing alternative. One that is likely thought about over a long-period of time.

Mental health is a very difficult issue to treat. Things that happen to us at a young age affect our development. Life experiences change the way we see things. And nobody can look at you and diagnose something that you’re internalizing and hiding out of pride or fear. There’s people that seemingly have it all yet torture themselves and struggle on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, suicide as an act itself, is something that affects the family members and friends far more than it affects the person that chose it as an exit. This is something that is not a hasty decision, even if it seems that way. The difficult decision has been considered and reconsidered hundreds of times.

I’m sorry for everyone’s loss but know that a forever restless soul finally found peace.

 

[Demondosage]

Why do you suspect he did it?

 

[T&H]

Why do you suspect he did it?

Multiple failed back surgeries plus all the pain meds. He was always in pain and stayed on pain pills.

 

[Seven]

I have had my own struggles in the past and I can say from my perspective you are absolutely correct.

To the people that are left behind it seems like an awful and selfish thing to do. But people are battling unimaginable pain, sometimes for years. Add a bleak future outlook along with a low self-worth, and suicide becomes a very appealing alternative. One that is likely thought about over a long-period of time.

Mental health is a very difficult issue to treat. Things that happen to us at a young age affect our development. Life experiences change the way we see things. And nobody can look at you and diagnose something that you’re internalizing and hiding out of pride or fear. There’s people that seemingly have it all yet torture themselves and struggle on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, suicide as an act itself, is something that affects the family members and friends far more than it affects the person that chose it as an exit. This is something that is not a hasty decision, even if it seems that way. The difficult decision has been considered and reconsidered hundreds of times.

I’m sorry for everyone’s loss but know that a forever restless soul finally found peace.

Excellent post. So much said in so few words. Ty. @BigBaldBeardGuy