I cannot get my hands behind my ears, and feel most comfortable with my hands almost touching the plates when I squat.
I had this issue too. Look up Phdeadlift on Instagram or YouTube aka Ben Pollack. Take a look at how he does hand placement and give it a try. I have been doing a variation of his method and it's actually improved my range of motion. I still "finger" the bar because it's a bit more comfortable.
