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In the latest example of “the man” keeping a good Caucasian woman down, the family of an 18-year-old Georgia woman has asked the Trump administration to intervene in her unusually fair jail sentence for flouting COVID-19 protocols in the Cayman Islands.
Due in part to https://www.caymancompass.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Control-of-COVID-19-No.-3-Regulations-2020.pdf (pdf) requiring all visitors to undergo testing, followed by a two-week quarantine period, the Cayman Islands has suffered only two deaths during the worldwide coronavirus pandemic. The rigid protocols and high testing rates have resulted in one of the lowest infection rates in the world, according to United Nations data.
But when criminal mastermind Skylar Mack decided to visit her 24-year-old professional jet-skiing boyfriend, Vanjae Ramgeet, Breakout Becky decided to disregard the country’s effective coronavirus control rules. Although I will always believe that everyone is a pre-med student who just hasn’t attended medical school yet, Skylar’s extensive medical training (she’s seen every episode of Grey’s Anatomy) informed her that she didn’t need no damn quarantine. In spite of the fact that she came to the Caymans directly from the country with the worst COVID-19 infection in the world, the college student decided to go to the jet-ski race anyway.
In an attempt to free Skylar (I have already ordered my T-shirt), attorney Jonathan Hughes has appealed directly to the Trump administration to get the Caymans to “send her back” on the grounds that four months in prison would have a “particularly harsh effect on her,” according to NBC. Of course, everyone knows that president “law and order” has a soft spot for women who don’t adhere to the customs of a particular nation. Especially the “shithole countries.”
Just as Trump asserted that “when the looting starts, the shooting starts,” the governor of the Caymans issued a statement effectively saying: “If a Karen won’t listen to me, I’ll send her ass to the penitentiary.”
When will the unjust oppression of privileged white women end? Skylar managed to pull herself out of the crime-ridden ghetto of the Atlanta suburbs and make something out of herself, only to fall prey to the racist “war on viruses.” It’s not like she was doing something dangerous like sleeping in her bedroom; looking out of the window or walking home with a pocketful of Skittles.
Who among us has never traveled to an island paradise during a raging, invisible pandemic and said, “Fuck these healthy people; my boo is about to go motorsurfing!” You know how it is when you’re young, dumb and filled with so much privilege that you threatened the life and safety of an entire country because you want to watch a bae frolic on jet-skis!
