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FLAKING ON SECOND DATE AFTER SEX

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onlyontrt

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Most things I see about flaking on a date are about the first date. I met up with a girl at a bar (ex-coworker) she said how she was always into me and that I am exactly her type. We made out at the bar she came back to my hotel and we hooked up all night. She left the hotel at like 6 am the next day. Since then I've asked her out twice and first excuse was she was hosting galentines day (instagram confirmed this was true), second time was she said she couldn't because she had her kids. Then she says she doesn't have her kids this saturday and wants to hang out then. I follow up today to tell her i'll pick her up at 7 and she replies saying she completely forgot she was supposed to hang with her best friend on saturday. I just replied "fosho" and she never replied.

At this point i'm going to leave it alone but i'm curious why this would happen. It's a big blow to the ego being that I am newly separated from my wife and trying to get back out there. Has me wanting to say F it and just work things out with my wife lol.
 
Sometimes girls get weird when they put out so fast. They dont want to be thought of as "easy" or whatever so they play hard to get. If you are wanting to actually date the girl you probably need to make that clear and go OTT on spelling it out to her. If you are just looking for another hook up you are probably outta luck, at least until she is horned up and lonely again.
 
onlyontrt said:
she replied to my "fosho" with "im sorry" and a crying emoji. Should i just leave that on read?
Click to expand...
Hey bro,
I agree with most everyone else who posted.
Let me add...
1. This woman is the predator, you are they prey. I don't mean this in a bad way toward you. She has kids, busy life, and wanted to have "fun" with you. That's it for now. She will likely get horny in a couple of weeks and call you for a "go." If you're not busy, "go." If you're busy, dont. Just say, "can't tonight, how about another time?" She's not looking for anything steady... she's a busy mom.
2. You just separated from your wife, and that's a very difficult moment in anyone's life. You need to give yourself a break from women. I mean, you don't need another "steady" relationship right away. Relax, enjoy the freedom. Find what you like to do for yourself, by yourself, and do it.

Knocking boots right out of the gate is impressive... give yourself some credit. There's more out there... relax... take your time.

edit: don't respond to her emoji text. Just wait it out until she's ready for that "go."
 
bigMoJo said:
Hey bro,
I agree with most everyone else who posted.
Let me add...
1. This woman is the predator, you are they prey. I don't mean this in a bad way toward you. She has kids, busy life, and wanted to have "fun" with you. That's it for now. She will likely get horny in a couple of weeks and call you for a "go." If you're not busy, "go." If you're busy, dont. Just say, "can't tonight, how about another time?" She's not looking for anything steady... she's a busy mom.
2. You just separated from your wife, and that's a very difficult moment in anyone's life. You need to give yourself a break from women. I mean, you don't need another "steady" relationship right away. Relax, enjoy the freedom. Find what you like to do for yourself, by yourself, and do it.

Knocking boots right out of the gate is impressive... give yourself some credit. There's more out there... relax... take your time.

edit: don't respond to her emoji text. Just wait it out until she's ready for that "go."
Click to expand...
this is also true, LOL. the word predator is a bit strong but sure.
 
you could always just be brutally honest.

Listen lady, I really enjoyed the sex and I'm feeling a little neglected right now. These lame excuses you are giving me are absolutely killing my ego. So please cut the shit and brush off your loser friends, throw those little rug rats of yours in foster care and let's hit that hotel again.
 
You should have more confidence, not less. You proved that you can seal the deal from a fun night out at the bar. Sometimes chicks just want some quick validation but then are embarrassed they did it. You don't really want a chick that gives it up that quick either. It's just casual sex. Leave it at that and move on, with no contact. Theres a chance she'll contact you after some time. You're call to go or not. After a marriage it's easy to get tunnel visioned on a chick though. Run through at least 10 before you start looking for a new relationship. You'll get the itch out of you at that point and will be thinking more clearly.
 
onlyontrt said:
Most things I see about flaking on a date are about the first date. I met up with a girl at a bar (ex-coworker) she said how she was always into me and that I am exactly her type. We made out at the bar she came back to my hotel and we hooked up all night. She left the hotel at like 6 am the next day. Since then I've asked her out twice and first excuse was she was hosting galentines day (instagram confirmed this was true), second time was she said she couldn't because she had her kids. Then she says she doesn't have her kids this saturday and wants to hang out then. I follow up today to tell her i'll pick her up at 7 and she replies saying she completely forgot she was supposed to hang with her best friend on saturday. I just replied "fosho" and she never replied.

At this point i'm going to leave it alone but i'm curious why this would happen. It's a big blow to the ego being that I am newly separated from my wife and trying to get back out there. Has me wanting to say F it and just work things out with my wife lol.
Click to expand...
You’re probably being way too clingy or she is more interested in someone else or her ex.
Most likely you’re being way too clingy confirmed by this post.
Girls don’t want someone always blowing up their phone begging for a chance. Be a grown ass man and let her come to you.
That doesn’t mean be dry to her when she comes along either.
 
onlyontrt said:
Thanks for the responses guys. I have decided not to reply to her last text. If she actually wants to kick it she will hmu
Click to expand...
She won’t, she probably thinks your gay if you didn’t pound good enough the first time when she gave you the chance, he’ll imagine a girl was into you and lays like a fish , you probably won’t bother wanting to spend another night no matter how good she looks

Remember woman make there first impression of you within less than a minute and it stays that way, make it count, if you came off looking dumb she won’t look at you any different, be confident and move on
 
Good inputs already, but I would like to add that it has nothing to do with the sex not being good. The ex-coworker saying she has had a "crush" on you for a while is girl game 101. She's telling you exactly what you want to hear, feeding your ego lol

The reason she's not interested anymore is that you've shown neediness and zero abundance when you reached out twice to arrange a date. The roles changed, she went from the one wanting you to you being the one wanting her. That's where all the excitement fades for women. The power dynamics change.

Women want what they can't have. Always keep a woman chasing.

By the way, she's manipulating the shit out of you, with the last-second flake and acting all nice with the sorry and crying emoji. I am sorry but she doesn't respect you. She knows you need her more than she needs you, so she can come in and out of your life when she pleases, and you will put up with it because you already did twice. There's no chance you can fix this, she already put you in that box with the other guys that are chasing her.

I advise you to move on and learn from this experience brother.
 
1. Don't chase
2. Don't go back to your ex, especially after an event like that

I've been divorced, I don't know your full story. If you want I'm happy to talk through DM. Either way, follow those two advices and you'll be happy in the future.
 
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