FLAKING ON SECOND DATE AFTER SEX

[thejumpingsheep]

And that’s why mums stay single or end up with bad men. I don’t want to come second, I don’t want to be put on a list for when I can have your time, sure I don’t have to come first all of the time but even with a kid, make time for OP or let him go, OPs on here so probably works out, looks after himself, he deserves attention, not to accept being ignored for a month when she wants cock again. It’s called having self respect, I know what I’m worth, make the time for me or you’re gonna end with some guy that doesn’t take care of himself, treats you like trash, or you’ll die alone, this isn’t rocket science

Most divorcees stay single because they learned that they dont actually need a spouse/partner. Further, they know the game and can get married again if they so wanted. So why dont they? Because your way didnt work. Odds are, they behaved the exact way you expected before kids, only for that to result in divorce.

Bro with kids you will always come 2nd and if you didn't come 2nd, then there is something wrong with that parent be it woman or man. There is no reality where a partner, even after marriage, is more important than your own kids. Not until they are adults and at that point you can prioritize yourself because thats what it really is. When you prioritize your partner, you are actually prioritizing yourself. This is not good relationship material. Odds are, this type of personity will get divorced again in due time due to immaturity.

So IMO, the correct thing to do is before you go sleeping around, discuss your intent. If you are looking for a relationship, you need to say so BEFORE you fuck especially if fucking is an emotional thing for you. If you didnt not elaborate, then there should be zero expectation of anything but sex. This has nothing to do with self respect or worth because not everyone values things the same way and folks cannot read your mind.

Case and point, you think there is value in a person who takes care of themselves at the gym. To me, this has almost no value at all in a relationship. This is only valuable for sex and is barely a step up from free online porn.

In other words, in the mind of the other person, there is likely no intent to disrespect. It might just be in your own head. No way to know if you didnt make it clear from the get go.

 

[RaddishPork]

You're giving her too much attention. Once she thinks you're moving on or enjoying another chick, she'll be back. Every time

 

[malfeasance]

second time was she said she couldn't because she had her kids.

Dodged a bullet.

Adopt a new rule - no dating divorced women with kids. In fact, it would be better to rule out divorced women even without kids. Instant pass, next.

It is a huge red flag. Sure, she will tell you all about how terrible her ex was and all of that. You will never, ever know the truth. What? You thought she was going to tell you that she was the issue in the relationship? Just don't. Avoid. it. Even if he was terrible, she picked him. What does that say about her judgment and ability to enter into healthy, long term relationships?

Women file almost all of the divorces and only a tiny percentage afterward report feeling any regret. Do you really want any part of that sort of woman?

Improve your life and avoid them.

 

[malfeasance]

Most divorcees stay single because they learned that they dont actually need a spouse/partner.

I do not know what country you are in, but in the United States this statement has a false premise. The vast majority of the divorced remarry here.

Because American men are thirsty and desperate and have incredibly low self esteem and are willing to settle for almost anything.

 

[juicebro]

Getting laid the first time is like a huge shit test to see how you handle it and if it's something that happens to you regularly. You failed.

 

[Zebedee]

Bro with kids you will always come 2nd and if you didn't come 2nd, then there is something wrong with that parent be it woman or man. There is no reality where a partner, even after marriage, is more important than your own kids. Not until they are adults and at that point you can prioritize yourself because thats what it really is. When you prioritize your partner, you are actually prioritizing yourself. This is not good relationship material. Odds are, this type of personity will get divorced again in due time due to immaturity.

Agree totally mate. If a woman I was newly dating put me before her kids I’d consider that a massive red flag & would totally lose all interest in her.

 

[thejumpingsheep]

I do not know what country you are in, but in the United States this statement has a false premise. The vast majority of the divorced remarry here.

Because American men are thirsty and desperate and have incredibly low self esteem and are willing to settle for almost anything.

Im in SoCal and I dont disagree. Most get remarried eventually but if we talk about the ones who dont, then they almost always have a good reason. Its not because they cant, its because they choose not to.

You made mention of red flags and though I agree about divorcees, I am of the opinion that everyone deserves a chance. I learned this because I saw many of my childhood friend divorce and honestly, most of those divorces had nothing to do with either one being a bad person. In fact of all the divorces I have witnessed, maybe 10% of them involved a psycho spouse. That said, my circle is almost all college grads or very hard workers, so that might be why.

In my experience, most divorces boiled down to inexperience. They got married too young, before they got a good grasp on what it takes to have a successful live in relationship. In many cases, these people would still be friends if they didnt live together but living together and sharing finances and responsibility revealed differences that were incompatible. From what I observed, the two biggest causes of divorce seem to come from difference in ambition (resentment for the spouse who didnt have it) and differences in inherent behavior. Aka, one person loves spontaneity while the other must have everything planned and get anxious when its not... this is a clear incompatibility. Neither is bad per se, but they simply cannot live together. They need specific types of partners.

Ultimately though, these divorces happened because they people married in their 20s. They married out of love with good intent, but didnt know what they didnt know. Now they do.

Can you sit there and tell you didnt make dumb ass decisions in your 20s? I may have never divorced but I would punch my younger self in the nuts for some of the dumb ideas I had back then.

 

[onlyontrt]

I didn't respond the way you are suggesting because we have a date set for this coming up Sunday. However, I did listen to the feedback and have been getting out there and not focusing so much on 1 girl. So at this point I am just looking to get laid again because as it stands she is the most attractive of all the girls I have been with since getting back out there.

Have gotten laid everyday since I ignored her basically.

 

[thejumpingsheep]

I didn't respond the way you are suggesting because we have a date set for this coming up Sunday. However, I did listen to the feedback and have been getting out there and not focusing so much on 1 girl. So at this point I am just looking to get laid again because as it stands she is the most attractive of all the girls I have been with since getting back out there.

Have gotten laid everyday since I ignored her basically.

Bro nothing wrong with having fun, but it sounds like you want a relationship. Is this not the case?

If that's the case, then follow through on your intent. Don't get a reputation for sleeping around. That will make your other goal harder to achieve. Ive seen this happen to a lot of gym bros. They become part of a "fun" circle and it sort of shuts them out of qualified partners or gets them in trouble unexpectedly. A friend of mine recently was in love with a girl for over 2 years. He was intending to marry her but suddenly some old flings show up and blow up the entire relationship... just saying.

If thats not the case, have a blast.