Four. I got clean and sober when she was four months old. For good this time. Her mother tried to take her away from me when we broke up out of spite... lots of court, lots of money, lots of hate. I didn't get high and I didn't get drunk. I was awarded 50/50 custody and I have her 15 nights a month. I love her so much it terrifies me- I have always been able to take or leave anything or anybody and I always fuck my life up... now I have this little person who trusts me completely, loves me completely- depends on me always being here so I work tirelessly to be a different person. A person who will make her proud and make her want to be a responsible, independent woman. I have the gym (in my living room now), meetings and my job to shape into that person and I can't let one slip a bit. Nothing will get in my way. Our way.
We made gummy bears and gummy worms from scratch tonight. Fuck yes.
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