how to deal with loneliness

[lukiss96]

My tip is don't wait for girls to ask you out, be a man and ask them out. Good points shared by other members on socialising.

 

[buck]

Join church group for after hours stuff, they are preachy, weird or pricks for the most part. I have volunteered a lot of the years, they're for the most part really great people that I formed great friendships with.

Not a bad idea for some. But for an atheist like me it really isn't a good fit for me.

 

[BamaCrazy]

Not a bad idea for some. But for an atheist like me it really isn't a good fit for me.

Same. I don’t fit in that group at all.

 

[BigDadd7]

Go flirt with some fat ugly broads. That will build your confidence for talking to the ones you actually want.

 

[HeatherSwanson]

Not a bad idea for some. But for an atheist like me it really isn't a good fit for me.

You'd be surprised how little you'll bear about the faith of someone when they actually follow NT scripture, its written in there in plane and clear English to not preach about in public.
If your conservatively minded, you'd fit in well. Its the community aspect of faith circles I'm interested in, I pray in private like I've been instructed too.

 

[buck]

You'd be surprised how little you'll bear about the faith of someone when they actually follow NT scripture, its written in there in plane and clear English to not preach about in public.
If your conservatively minded, you'd fit in well. Its the community aspect of faith circles I'm interested in, I pray in private like I've been instructed too.

I am politically/financially conservative but not spiritually or in other areas not so much so that group may be good for you. But not for me And yes leading by example seems the best way to go. But once i start having real conversations with people i usually find out their political. religious etc affiliations. I went to church and sunday school every week as a kid and bible school in the summer. Have read the bible a couple times the Koran and teaching of Buddha as well. Still never believed but support those that do. There is a difference between a conversation and preaching in public i find.

 

[PiscesMoon]

for a while now i've felt quite alone. i've lost a lot of friends and nobody attempts to go out of their way and make me a part of their lives. Believe it or not im a really nice person, i always put others first and i am friendly to everyone, i don't believe in putting others down. i am very confident and extroverted, have no issue with talking to people. Despite this it seems like nobody wants me around and i am always just there. I never get asked out by any women nowadays. i always talk to women, im not that ugly, dress nice and carry myself well. i have things in common with everyone and can chat or relate to them with just about everything. I've tried talking to people who share bodybuilding as a hobby too, same thing. Not exactly sure where to go from here. If anyone's been in a similar position or has questions to ask that might get a better perspective on my situation please do. all help is appreciated

Do you like animals? Dogs in particular.

I wrote out some advice, but it is most useful if you enjoy spending time with dogs, and also if you have access to an animal shelter close to where you live.

 

[TurboJet]

Go flirt with some fat ugly broads. That will build your confidence for talking to the ones you actually want.

This actually isn't bad advice, bigger women tend to be more engaging and outgoing.

Chat them up at a bar you don't have to drink and they don't even have to be close to your age.

Make conversation and listen. Your confidence and communication skills will improve and you'll be better able to handle different dynamics of communication and mentalities.

Watch out for the redheads!

 

[HUGE McBIGLARGE]

As I’ve gotten older I’ve lost friends, and not made any new ones. All of my family lives hours away except for my mum.

When I split up with my girlfriend and found myself living alone for the first time in my life, I got very lonely. So I went on a dating site, and I’d invite any woman to come round and keep me company on the days I wasn’t working. I found the ugly but intelligent women to be the most pleasant to be around. Maybe they tried harder.

I’ve never found that male friends help my loneliness much. Even when I had a big group of friends, we just did things together, but never emotionally connected. I’ve only gotten that amelioration of loneliness from women.

I suppose being intimate with a woman, one-to-one, in a private environment, is perfect for having an emotional connection with someone, even if only for a few days.

I’ve now got a new girlfriend. We get on very well and spend all of our free time together. So I’m quite happy.

But if I found myself single and lonely again, I’d be straight on tinder inviting literally any woman to spend the weekend with me.

 

[TRTBro]

The nicest people i know are often the ones that get fucked the hardest in life.

All the cannon men i know, no matter the arena - business, sales, leadership ect are their because of their edge. They are sharp, indifferent and command respect through example and expectation of those around them.

This doesn't mean be a dick, but it also doesn't mean be a "nice guy". There's a book called No More Mr Nice guy, get it and read it.

If you're lonely, people will also pickup on that. Thats something that will feed into itself unfortunately. Like a weird feminine " man" chasing a girl will push them away, they can sense the neediness. Chicks don't like nice guys. I learned that when I was 20. As soon as I started not taking girls seriously and was a bit of a dickhead dating was all of a sudden on easy mode, they'd come to me. You hear this story often, hottie dating an indifferent guy that doesnt call her back ect... Because he's outcome independent and self reliant.

It sounds like you might have low self esteem or not understand your own value. Good news, this can be fixed with learning how to fight. I have recommended this to many clients and its changes their lives - go to a dojo and learn how to hurt people. The confidence of knowing how to fuck people up will give you a real like exp boost to charisma, when you're really good in 12 months, enter a comp, its a fantastic talking point and people love hearing about that stuff. Also, there is 50% less dickheads in martial arts percapita.

There's a difference between being peaceful and harmless. People don't respect the latter nearly as much as someone with edge, honed and sharp that is directed at mastery. Get fucking good at something, like really good. Could be anything, just be passionate about it and people will be drawn to that. I spent 20 mins talking to a nerd at Christmas time in the grocery store about some card game called magik and hes now hanging out with some of my buddies - passion is cool

Reading
No more mr nice guy - Robert glover
Rational male - rollo thomasi
48 laws of power - robert Greene

This is some great advice going to try this myself if you dont @PermaBlastingTren

 

[PermaBlastingTren]

i think i was just being a little baby and had a bad day. i get in my head sometimes like that. with a clear mind now what i can say is people think im the shit and being younger in age they genuinely do try to seek my approval and act different around me, i'm just genuinely sometimes unapproachable since i look much older than everyone due to being on gear and act alot more mature/serious. have a girl coming over again tomorrow, going to tear that up lol

 

[RedXXSouth]

I can assure you no one is acting different around you to gain your respect.

Idk if have seen this before. For a multidude of reasons. Often its fear. But sometimes people will act differently just because you are big and want you to like or respect them without really taking into account how terrible your personality is.

 

[The Answ3r]

for a while now i've felt quite alone. i've lost a lot of friends and nobody attempts to go out of their way and make me a part of their lives. Believe it or not im a really nice person, i always put others first and i am friendly to everyone, i don't believe in putting others down. i am very confident and extroverted, have no issue with talking to people. Despite this it seems like nobody wants me around and i am always just there. I never get asked out by any women nowadays. i always talk to women, im not that ugly, dress nice and carry myself well. i have things in common with everyone and can chat or relate to them with just about everything. I've tried talking to people who share bodybuilding as a hobby too, same thing. Not exactly sure where to go from here. If anyone's been in a similar position or has questions to ask that might get a better perspective on my situation please do. all help is appreciated

Hope you’re hanging in there, man. I’ve been through something similar, and honestly, the turning point for me was learning to be fully comfortable on my own.
I know it sounds cliché, but when you stop expecting people to include you and just start focusing on your own world - things shift. I used to take that silence from others personally, until I realized it was just part of growing into myself.

This is actually the best time to double down on yourself. Dive into something that lights you up - whether it’s a new hobby, business, bodybuilding, whatever gets you fired up. That “lonely” space can be the most productive and freeing place you’ll ever be in - if you let it.

Some days still suck, not gonna lie. But once you get past the noise and sit with yourself long enough, you’ll start to feel solid. And when that happens - people notice. The energy’s different.

Use this time. Build your world. You won’t need to “fit in” anywhere, because you’ll be too busy building something of your own.